“Why is my child not interested in learning?” “What makes my child not want to go to school? Why does my child say learning is boring?” “Why is he/she showing higher results in one subject than in another?” “Why does he/she no longer enjoy English?” These are just some of the questions which arise with concerned parents when their children demonstrate a lack of interest in studying both at home or at school. Some parents have opted for home schooling, others have their children join breakfast clubs, sports clubs or after-school creative clubs as a means to enhance their child’s thinking and stimulate interest in them for learning. God Almighty urges us in chapters of the Holy Qur’an to spread knowledge and not to conceal it.

He also speaks of children in numerous verses with regards to their upbringing and welfare. The first verse which was revealed to the Prophet pronounced powerfully “IQRA” meaning “READ”; this again emphasizes the power of knowledge for a human being to attain success in both worlds. It was narrated by Ibn Masud “The Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, would take care of us by preaching at a suitable time so that we would not become weary. He abstained from pestering us with religious talk and knowledge all the time.”1 The Prophet said, “The pen has been lifted from three: the child until he reaches puberty, the insane until he is cured and the one who is sleeping until he awakens.”2 We are commanded to be mild and loving towards children. Give instructions gently to make things easy. It takes time for the child to understand what you’re saying and to respond correctly.

But remember a child is not accountable for their actions so be patient while they respond to you in their own time. Children differ from one another in intelligence and comprehension. Some can be corrected by a mere stern glance and others need to be scolded firmly. But we should never stop following the advice of the Prophet Muhammad who said “Those who do not show mercy to our young are not from us.”3 A child is won with tenderness, mildness, and love. Let us now look at some of the reasons why our children may display a lack of interest in learning. Sometimes the reasons can be obvious; maybe the parents do not have the time to interact with homework tasks and the children struggle without this assistance, or maybe there is far too many distractions in the environment, so the child finds it hard to concentrate. But there can also be hidden pressures; perhaps the child does not like a particular subject, or finds it difficult to understand it, or does not enjoy writing or arithmetic. Some times a change of routine or a new teacher can affect the child, peer pressure or lack of confidence can also result in a lack of interest in studying at school or at home. The important question is how do we, as parents or education workers, draw the child’s attention to learning and generate joy and satisfaction in them? The early years of a child’s life are of utmost importance and play a crucial role in determining every child’s future. Brain research has confirmed that the experiences children undergo in the first five years of life form vital connections in the brain. These connections lay the foundation for all later learning and social/emotional development. Children develop at individual rates; therefore, variations in development are to be expected. Professional education workers come in contact with children from a variety of linguistic and cultural backgrounds. This includes children who are learning a language that is different to their native language. New guidelines provide extra activities to meet these children’s needs. Sometimes boys perform less well than girls and a survey report back in July of 2003 by the Office for Standards in Education in

Britain published two reports on methods schools can use to raise achievement among boys. They found that macho peer pressure remains a key reason why boys underperform in comparison to girls in nearly all subjects, except for maths and science. They also found that boys were more affected than girls by how interesting the lessons are. Teachers who were best at motivating boys were those who used humor and real life situations. Children with extra special needs and those who have a short concentration span will not settle at one activity for more than 5 to 10 minutes. Their needs are different from other children, and thus there are curriculum guidelines that help them with appropriate learning. Spending time with your child through the process of playing or completing homework is a key opportunity for interaction and establishes confidence and motivation for the child to learn; we must not forget that children are learning all the time and not just at schools. Tips to encourage motivation Therefore, the following top ten tips are useful in encouraging motivation in your child:

1. Nurture your child’s interest by providing opportunities for them to explore and learn about their interests, be they dinosaurs, stars, or flowers.

2. Expose your child to new ideas and areas by participating in community programs and not just school programs. It is important not to single out traditionally female activities or male activities, as it is the child’s interests that are important.

3. Attempt using short term goals and rewards since sometimes a child becomes overwhelmed by a large task. It is not that the task is difficult in itself, but the child may feel nervous, fearful or confused, resulting in a need for more time or input to understand the concept better. A child will sometimes abandon a task they even begin to try, so it is best to help your child break the task down into a series of smaller tasks. Also allow children to set their own weekly targets which they can reward themselves for completing.

4. Help your child learn to arrange time as when they start to go to school some may learn quickly and easily at different levels or stages of learning, but others may not. However later on, they will need to know how to independently set time aside to complete certain tasks.

5. Praise your child’s efforts since some children have trouble connecting personal effort to achievement. To help a child succeed, efforts should be praised at every success and the praise should be specific. So rather than saying “you could have done that better,” you could say “you tried your best and worked hard.”

6. Help your child take control; underachievers sometimes see achievement as something that isbeyond their control and this makes them feel as if all their efforts are pointless. The child needs to understand the role personal responsibility plays through success.

7. Keep a positive attitude about school because children need to see that their parents value education. Even if a child’s problems in school are a result of a problem with the schools or the teacher, you need to be careful about what you say and when.

8. Help your child make a connection between their schoolwork and their interests. Sometimes children lack motivation because they cannot make a connection between the work they are being asked to do and their goals and interests. For example, a child who wants to be an astronaut should know that maths and science are important in these jobs. However, under-motivated children generally do not focus on anything but the present. They cannot plan ahead for the near future, so rarely reflect on adult life or ambitions.

9. Turn homework into games as most children love a challenge, particularly with a familiar person whom they trust. Sometimes, dull homework can be turned into something excited like a challenging game. Checking children’s work shows them you care about it. Another creative approach to homework is to link it to an interest or encourage them to mark it for themselves.

10. Adults should keep in mind that motivation is not always about school achievement and that it is important to note that some children are highly motivated to achieve goals, even if the goals are unrelated to school. Remember achievement is NOT motivation. It is therefore very important to know that while you may get your child to get the homework done, he or she may never be truly motivated to do it. So what is the difference between the two; what is motivation? Motivation is a temporal and dynamic state that should not be confused with personality or emotion. Motivation is having the desire and the willingness to do something. A motivated person can be aiming at a long–term goal, such as becoming a professional writer, or a more short-term goal like learning how to spell a particular word. Attention from a pupil is necessary and essential for learning and this gives a student a feeling of self worth and makes them want to exert effort. If a teacher can secure the interest of the pupil and the student does the work assigned, and if the work holds their attention, the interest is maintained. There are two kinds of interest, the positive and the negative. When a student has a positive interest in learning, they are getting value because there is something they want to obtain. But if they only have a negative interest, they may still learn a small portion of what is being taught, but not as much as if they were to have a positive interest. The student needs to have a desire of their own to learn and learning should be a result of this, not of outside pressure. They will strive to learn if their interest is positive. If a child is interested in a subject, a wise teacher or parent can make use of this interest. They can work towards maintaining this motivation for learning. But before an adult can hold a child’s interest, they need to have an understanding of how the interest is obtained and how purposes that cause an appetite for learning develop in individuals. A person’s daily life, their character and their personality all determine their drive for learning. This interest can lead them to take action and want to acquire knowledge. There is also a need for a desire to be active; if a person is lazy, they will not have desires or urges to learn. A student also needs to have a desire for approval from their parents, teachers and peers. They need to have a desire to have a feeling of accomplishment, as this will lead them to seek more and more knowledge. They need to feel proud about their personal accomplishments.

We have not been able to mention all the desires that lead to motivation and learning here, but we have touched upon a few of the primary desires. Some parents may feel they do not know the best way to keep their child motivated with the same joy and satisfaction away from school and at home. Parents can worry over this, but it is comforting to know that a simple activity, such as a trip to the park or library or a small activity such as cooking or planting with your child can be interactive, fun, enjoyable and always a creative part of learning. Talking to your child’s teacher or other parents in similar situations is always encouraging and you may pick up tips for new steps that will help bring enthusiasm to your child’s education. At the present time we are fortunate to have easy and affordable resources and free websites which help parents to understand this topic better and which provide step-by-step guidelines on how to generate the joy of learning in kids. The curriculum in schools is continuously reviewed and updated to be a friendly and interesting framework of teaching and learning, with interaction between teachers and students across the globe.

Notes

1. Muslim 1:68.
2. Tirmidhi, Hudud, 1; Nasai, Hudud, 17.
3. Tirmidhi, Birr, 15.

The family is the smallest unit of society and it should be a source of happiness for the individual. This is why a sound dialogue between parents and their children is so important. When we bring up our children, we should regard them as being entrusted to us by the Almighty. Treating them affectionately and inspiring confidence in them plays an important role in terms of preparing them for their future life as physically and psychologically healthy individuals.

In spite of the cozy atmosphere of the home, we might come across some problems that are difficult to solve. Some problems are apparent to our friends and neighbors, while others are known only by family members and are kept secret. In such cases, we may not know how to deal with a problem, and therefore need to seek help from an expert. Wetting the bed is a typical example of such problems. When such a problem persistently occurs it is only compounded if we hurt the child and cause them to feel bad or inferior because of this problem; what many people do not realize is that this is a problem that is easily solved.

Families with children who wet the bed while between the ages of 5 and 15, sometimes even up to the age of 20 have a serious problem. Every morning, these families wake up to find another problem. The nasty smell, changing the sheets and cleaning the pajamas are not things that people enjoy first thing in the morning.

Along with the burden of dealing with dirty clothes and sheets, the family members become worried, as they do not know when the problem will end. But it is the child who worries most. The problem is only compounded as the child realizes that they cannot have friends to stay, nor stay at someone else’s house, as this may lead to others finding about the problem; such worries only cause further problems such as losing self-confidence, inferiority complexes, shyness and poor performance at school.

Some families do not try to search for solutions, saying illogical things like, “His uncle used to wet the bed too. That didn’t go on for too long. The same will happen with our child as well,” or “It’s nothing unusual. Most children do it. It will be alright,” or “It will just stop without treatment. They say that there is no treatment anyway.”

Bedwetting is actually a common problem. What then, are the underlying reasons? How common is it in reality? Is there an effective treatment for it? Does it just stop on its own? If so, when and how does it stop? Or is it possible for someone to remain a bed-wetter all of their lives? Does the treatment have any side effects? What is the success rate of the treatment? We will try to answer all these questions.

Occasional cases of bedwetting until the age of five are considered as nothing unusual. If bedwetting continues after the age of five, then this indicates an illness known as “enuresis.” Research carried out on primary school aged children found that between 20-30% of children wet the bed in general. It is usually more common among boys. The percentage increases with children from families of a lower socio-economic background, mostly due to malnutrition.

The main causes for bedwetting

Genetic factors are accepted as playing a role, based on the fact that 70% of the children who wet the bed have close relatives with the same problem, and that there is a high incidence rate among identical twins. It is thought to be caused mostly by a lack of an anti-diuretic hormone that reduces urine production at night. There are other reasons as well.

If a person with diabetes has too great an intake of fluids before bedtime they may wet the bed. Moreover, urinary tract infections, kidney stones, parasites, anemia, a lack of calcium, magnesium, zinc, or vitamins (A, B, D, E), problems with adenoids, and enlarged tonsils may all cause bedwetting.

Anemia and adenoids cause hypoxia (a deficiency of the amount of oxygen available in the blood) and hypercapnia (the presence of an abnormally high level of carbon dioxide in the blood). If these conditions are present, then the patient sleeps too soundly and the control of the central nervous system over the other systems is weakened. As a result, the patient wets the bed as they have lost some control over their muscles.

At least half of people who suffer from bedwetting are considered to do so because of psychological reasons. If a child begins to wet the bed in spite of having had no such problem before, this indicates that the child subconsciously wants to return to their infancy when they were the center of attention. By wetting the bed, the child might be wishing to receive more care from the parents.

Wetting the bed might be a reaction to family problems or the birth of a sibling. Various types of anxiety may cause the child to suffer from depression, which is another reason that causes very sound sleep.

Bedwetting is thought to result from psychological problems if it is accompanied by problems like suffering from a tic, stuttering, nail-biting, over-jealousy, or failure at school. A child with a urinary tract or bladder infection or kidney stones may not be able to control their need to urinate during the day either. If no physical illness can be detected, then there may be a serious psychological disorder.

Diagnosis and treatment

Starting from the principle “every disease has a cause,” we should first of all search for any possible causes. We can begin with simple ways, such as urine and blood tests. If these do not provide a satisfactory answer, then the other possible causes that were mentioned above should be investigated. The kidneys and the bladder should be checked with an ultrasound, while the adenoids and chronic bronchitis, as well as the tonsils, should be examined. If no viral or organic cause can be found, then psychological problems should be investigated. When the reason has been found, then it is time to start the treatment.

After a diagnosis has been made, the parents should be informed about the cause of the problem. It should also be noted that enuresis may result from incorrect forms of toilet training.

In the treatment of psychologically-caused cases of bedwetting, taking the child to a doctor, carrying out blood and urinary tests, and the family’s efforts to treat the child (i.e. paying for the treatment, waiting at the doctor’s, etc) are all considered to be part of the treatment. The child sees that importance has been given to them, that efforts are being made and that money is being spent on them alone. Having seen that the parents and the doctor have played their part, it is the child’s turn to do what is expected of them. Prescribing the correct medicine, or if there is no physical problem, merely saying, “nothing is wrong” is the start of the treatment.

If the bladder turns out to be smaller than normal, the child is advised to hold their urine longer than normal in order to expand the bladder. The period of waiting is lengthened gradually. The child is asked to keep a record of “wet” and “dry” days and they are rewarded for the “dry” days. Drinking less in the evening may facilitate treatment.

Medication and treatment

The medication changes according to the diagnosis. For instance, if there is a urinary tract or bladder infection, then antibiotics are used. If there are psychological reasons, special pediatric anti-depressants will be prescribed. Anti-depressants cause the patient to sleep lighter. When the child does not sleep so soundly, they are able to control their urination, and wake up and go to the toilet.

There are drugs that help to expand the bladder capacity of people whose bladders are smaller than normal; these drugs can be very useful indeed. Some problems with the urinary tract or bladder can also be eliminated by surgery.

If the patient has trouble breathing due to adenoids or enlarged tonsils, these should be removed by surgery as well. For anemia, the patient is given substances such as vitamins, iron and zinc along with a prescribed diet. In cases of calcium deficiency, a calcium-rich diet and calcium tablets are recommended.

If a child shows more than one of the symptoms, then a combined treatment is followed. Laser acupuncture treatment can also be useful. Bedwetting can be prevented by using anti-diuretic hormone tablets or sprays as well. With the correct diagnosis and treatment, the success rate of such treatments is between 95-98%.

The most common occurrence is that children will stop wetting the bed after puberty without any need for treatment. However, it is not a good idea to wait for this to happen, because treatment that will help bedwetting stop occurring is available. Only 2-5% of patients continue to wet the bed after the age of twenty. Most often, such patients wet the bed due to some organic problem.

The medicines prescribed against bedwetting have been in use for about 30-35 years; they have been proven to be safe and to have no side effects.

A related study

In a study carried out in Bursa, Turkey, the records of 164 patients who suffered from bedwetting were examined. According to this study, the following data was obtained: 52 patients (32%) were girls and 112 patients (68%) were boys. 36 of the boys were aged 6-8, 48 of them were aged 9-12 and the remaining 28 were 13 years of age or older. 20 girls were aged 6-8, 16 girls were aged 9-12 and 16 girls were 13 or older.

When the causes were investigated, it turned out that 18 of the 112 boys (16%) had urinary tract or bladder infections and kidney stones, while 18 boys were suffering from cystitis, which can be diagnosed with an ultrasound, 12 boys (11%) had problems with their adenoids, chronic bronchitis, and tonsils, which made breathing difficult for them. No organic causes were found in 64 patients (57%); in these cases it was found that the cause was purely psychological. 24 out of 52 girls (46%) had urinary tract or bladder infections, while the other 54% had psychological reasons for wetting the bed.

Half of the patients stopped wetting the bed at the end of the first month, and almost all the patients were treated successfully by the end of the second month. The success rate was 98%.

After having examined this data, it is clear that the problem of bedwetting is not difficult to solve without blaming and hurting our children. When we confront such problems in life, we should not despair or panic. We should keep in mind that God Almighty has created a cure for every problem, and that finding the cure requires patience and determination.

‘They have run away again. We warned them not to do it, but our words don’t have much influence on them. This is the third time.

‘Why do they run away?’ asked a teacher

‘I don’t know. Perhaps because they want to be vagrants, wanderers.’

‘How did you manage to find them the last time?’

‘The first time we caught up with them in the bus-station. The last time they were seen sleeping on park benches. There was martial law at the time and soldiers patrolling the curfew spotted them and kept an eye on them – then, we were informed and fetched them. We told them very clearly that such behaviour would get them into serious trouble but, as I say, our warnings have proved useless.’

The three like-minded friends had made up their minds to escape this time by train. After they had bought their tickets, they tried to get onto the platform. An experienced ticket-collector was able to recognize that they were fugitives. However, he said to them:

‘It is not safe here, there are a lot of thieves about. Give me your tickets and money, and I shall keep them safe for you until the train comes. Believe me, I think of you as my own children.’

The young boys believed the ticket-collector and gave him their money and tickets. The ticket-collector informed security and asked them to find out who the students were and then to inform their school authorities.

A station security officer came up to the students and chatted to them in a kind, friendly way. When he found out what he wanted to know, he informed the school authorities.

The house-master came to the station before the train was due to leave. He collected the students and returned them to their dormitory. This time they would get a beating, he thought, because every kind of warning had been given to them. On the way to the dormitory, they met the Headmaster. When the situation to him was explained to him, he said to the house-master:

Bring me three iron bars. I am going to give a lecture and these students should attend it.

As the house-master went to get the iron bars, he thought: ‘Good Lord! Isn’t one bar enough? Is it likely to break?! Anyway, there must be some reason for it, though I can’t imagine what it is.’

He brought the three iron bars to the Headmaster .The Head then lectured the students, who listened to him in a bored, anxious way like patients waiting for an operation. Then, he said:

‘OK. Now, come, follow me.’ He led them all into the next room. Surprisingly, he spoke first to the house-master:

Take off your shirt, as I am taking off mine. And you boys, pick! It is we who deserve the beating. If we had set a good example, if we had been able to recognize and encourage the humanity in your souls, you would never have wished to be runaways. We stand before you, naked to the waist. Strike us as you wish!’

The boys who were already worn out when they entered this room, now flung themselves to the floor in misery:

‘Do whatever you want to us, but please forgive us,’ they said tearfully.

The Headmaster had not been joking. He had meant what he said. He had reached his conclusion only after serious self-examination. When he recognized in the boys’ manner and tone a desire to return voluntarily, he changed his mind about punishment. None of the boys ever ran away again.