I could not talk to him for awhile, because I was worried about disappointing him. However, it was not fair not to tell him as soon as possible. In a few months I would need some time off and he would need some time to find a new person to replace me. I was aware of the fact that he actually would not be able to lay me off because of my pregnancy. He would not act against the Pregnancy Discrimination Act. According to this amendment women affected by pregnancy or related conditions must be treated in the same manner as other applicants or employees with similar abilities or limitations. In academia, on the other hand, there is a high risk of getting scooped by a competitor if you delay publishing and that’s why scholars are pressured to publish new work quickly. The saying “publish or perish” is well-known in academia; therefore, my boss would need to find somebody who will be able to work significantly more hours than I can work. It was not ethical to delay telling him anymore even if I did not want to quit and knew that when I want to go back to work, it will not be so easy to find a job. I was also aware of the fact that in scientific research, if I slow down and take a couple years off, I am done. It is not good enough to have a PhD degree to set me apart from my competitors on the job market. I am expected to get high-quality publications out to apply for a tenure-track faculty position. I need to constantly be an active and productive researcher.

At last, I have talked to my boss. He was very rational. He asked me if I could manage doing research and raising two kids because research was never meant to be an 8 am to 5:30 pm job. It was not a simple question to answer. I knew that with kids, no matter where I am or what job I have, my life will be challenging. To keep both a family and an academic career intact I need discipline, planning, and some help at work and home. I won’t have time for chatting with colleagues, talking on the phone with friends, reading e-mails or taking lunch breaks at work. I will make long to do lists, and prioritize each item and if I can not get all of them done. I will not stress myself out. Instead, I will be happy with the things I have accomplished. Furthermore, balancing career and family life is a team effort so I need to share parenting duties with my husband, who is also overwhelmed at work. The most difficult part is that I have to deal with the guilt associated with leaving my children to go to work everyday. I love them with all my heart and it is so hard to see them crying behind me when I leave them for work.

The actual question was if I really want to go through all this trouble. I began to think about my motivation for my academic career. Many years ago, as a young woman who was trying to find a direction for my life, I had heard about a Turkish Muslim scholar, Fethullah Gulen. As I studied his teachings more, my perception on the roles of women in society had changed. I realized that I can take on many roles besides being a wife and a mother. My conclusion from his teachings was that men or women, every single human being, should serve God, and that serving humanity is serving God since it is done for the sake of His love. Then I thought that doing science, especially studying biochemistry, would be a great way to serve humanity. By the divine grace of God and with the help of biochemistry, I might prevent the spread of diseases, find cures for them, enhance the nutritional value of crops or even improve plant resistance against environmental stresses, and thus help so many people around the world.

Furthermore, the first word revealed in the Quran was “iqra” meaning “read” (96:1) followed by:

In and with the name of your Lord, Who created–
Created human from a clot clinging (to the wall of the womb).
Read, and your Lord is the All-Munificent,
Who has taught (human) by the pen,
Taught human what he did not know.

“Iqra” is a command to read the signs the Creator placed in creation. So, for me, biochemistry is not only the study of the chemical processes that happen in living things but also a way to better understand God’s Mercy, Wisdom, and Power. When I look at a tiny cell under a microscope, or study its biology in a book, I am fascinated by its perfect structure created in such a small size. This little thing controls so many complicated biological pathways at the same time without messing them up. Then, I ask myself who makes cells from nothing and inspires each one to do all those complex functions. The creation of the little cells, the delicate balances in all the cellular pathways, the nutrients and minerals provided to maintain their lives etc. allow me to better understand God’s eternal wisdom, power and mercy. Furthermore, the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, has said: “Seeking knowledge is mandatory for every Muslim (male and female)” and “Whoever takes a path for knowledge, Allah will make an easy way for him or her to paradise.” In brief, knowledge and science are my vehicles that can take me to God and heaven. When I re-thought all the reasons why I got into this field, I decided to continue on my journey as a scientific researcher, but this time with some “obstacles.”

After 2 months of thinking, planning and contemplating, I told my boss that I would do as much as I can to be a successful scientist and a mother. Afterwards, I even started enjoying my pregnancy and being a mother for the second time. I found comfort and inspiration from a saying of the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him: “Heaven lies under the feet of mothers.” This means a lot to me. I am so happy that all the hard work I do as a mother to raise my kids to become good individuals will be awarded hereafter by God. So, motherhood was an opportunity and honor God has given me, not a burden. I said to myself that as millions of other working women, I will face many difficulties, but this should not prevent me from celebrating every milestone in this pregnancy and afterwards. I would try my best to be a mother like the one in Gracie Harmon’s memorable quote: “My mom is a never ending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune.” I may not prepare dinners like the ones in cooking shows for my kids; I may not do it all and do it well all the time; but I can still be a mother who provides the most care, love, and compassion for her kids. In addition, no matter how tired I am after a long and busy day, if my two little angels greet me with hugs and kisses that will make me happy. They will cheer me up at home so that I will forget all the problems and stress at work. Besides, it will be wonderful and so much fun to explore their world which is so innocent, lovely and full of joy. I am so blessed to have these tiny, cute and adorable creatures around me.

Going through all of this and reading a lot on this subject have helped me realize a few things. First of all, there is no convenient time for me to have babies in academia. It is a dilemma whether pregnancy is more reasonable during graduate school even with dissertation writing and teaching than it is when I am on the job market or have a tenure-track job or a postdoctoral research position. Second, I need a lot of support and encouragement to maintain my motivation. I need my husband’s help to overcome the challenges of managing a family and an academic career. He can’t do anything about 5 months of morning sickness and another full year of nursing and sleep deprivation, but he can share parenting responsibilities and household chores. Third, according to a study done by Virginia Valian, who is a distinctive professor of psychology at Hunter College, females are only 13% of all the full professors at universities and 21% at colleges ; therefore, more universities started to promote their female faculty’s research programs in the science and engineering departments to ensure that more women are walking the halls of academia. For example, Brown University and the University of Rhode Island got $3.3 and $3.5 million grants respectively from the National Science Foundation in 2007 to develop the careers of women in science and engineering departments, where they are significantly underrepresented. There is also a Women Faculty Mentoring Program at the University of Wisconsin-Madison which seeks to support and retain women assistant professors throughout the tenure process. These kinds of programs, which provide funding for principal investigators with their own research projects, or for the inclusion of female researchers, are exciting opportunities and show the support of society and the academic community for women and mothers. This highly encourages me to pursue research and helps me know that I am not alone.

As a result, I am happy with my choice about being a mother and an academic even though it is tough and stressful. I did not deliver my baby who was a beautiful gift from heaven on Friday and go to work on Monday. I took a month off after the delivery, so my research halted for a month; however, I am back now. Am I ever going to get a tenure-track job and get tenure? Am I going to be my little ones’ unforgettable tune? Simply, I do not know, but I sure hope so.

Safiye Arslan is a research fellow in the area of biological chemistry and lives in Nevada.

What is giftedness?

We should begin by realizing that giftedness is a particular degree or concentration of innate qualities such as arc given to every child by his or her Creator, a fact emphasized in several verses of the Qur’an, for example:

It is He who brought you forth from the wombs of your mothers when you knew nothing; and He gave you hearing and sight and intelligence and affections: that you may give thanks (al-Nahl, 16.78).

It is He who has created for you hearing, sight, feeling and understanding: little thanks you give (al Mu’minun, 23.78).

The counterpart to recognizing the special giftedness of a particular child is to recognize our special debt of gratitude for that giftedness, together with an understanding of the challenges and responsibilities which that debt brings with it.

Indicators of giftedness

It is important for parents to be fully aware of the ways in which giftedness can be manifested. There are a number of typical characteristics listed by authorities on the subject. No individual child is likely to be outstanding in all the ways indicated on the list.

1. Shows superior reasoning powers and marked ability to handle ideas, has outstanding problem-solving ability.
2. Shows persistent intellectual curiosity, asks searching questions, shows exceptional interests in the nature of man and the universe.
3. Has a wide range, of interests often of an intellectual kind; develops one or more interests to a considerable depth.
4. Is noticeably superior in quality and quantity of vocabulary, in speech and/or in writing.
5. Reads eagerly and absorbs books well beyond his or her years.
6. Learns quickly and easily and retains what is learned, recalls important details, concepts and principles; comprehends readily.
7. Shows creative ability or imaginative expression in such things as music, art, drama, shows sensitivity and fitness in rhythm, movement, and body control.
8. Shows insight into arithmetical problems that require careful reasoning and grasps mathematical concepts easily
9. Sustains concentration for lengthy periods and shows outstanding responsibility and independence in doing classroom work.
10. Sets realistically high standards for him or herself, is self- critical in evaluating and correcting his or her own efforts.
11. Shows initiative and originality in intellectual work; shows flexibility in thinking and considers problems from a number of viewpoints.
12. Observes keenly and is responsive to new ideas
13. Shows social poise and an ability to communicate with adults in a mature way.
14. Takes pleasure in intellectual challenges; shows an alert and subtle sense of humour.

It should be kept in mind that it is neither admirable nor contemptible to be gifted. It is what one does with one’s abilities that is important. Throughout the parenting years, it is wise to accept that the healthiest long-term goal is not necessarily a child who gains fame, fortune and a Nobel Prize, but one who becomes a contented adult able to use his or her gifts productively.

Throughout childhood and early adolescence, we must provide the environment in which gifted children can flourish. We can do this by trying to:

be responsive to the unusual questions the children ask;

be respectful of the children’s unusual ideas or solutions by listening to them without bias, as the children will see many relationships that their parents and teachers miss;

encourage the children to test their ideas by using them and communicating them to others;

ensure that the children can learn, think and discover without the threat of immediate evaluation or prejudgement.

Education of gifted children

Effective nurturing of giftedness in children and adolescents requires a co-operative partnership between home and school, one that is characterized by mutual respect and an ongoing sharing of ideas and observations about the children involved.

Because gifted children may begin school already knowing much of the material covered in early grades and because they learn quickly, some type of acceleration is necessary. For some children and in some situations, grade skipping is the best choice. Placing a child with older children with similar interests may be socially and intellectually beneficial and result in a more appropriate curriculum.

The following strategies, suggested in a Gifted Leadership Conference in Washington. illustrate how bridges in thinking can be built between giftedness and education.

1. Gifted students should spend the majority of their school days with others of similar abilities and interests.
2. Cluster grouping of students within an otherwise mixed class can he considered where schools are unable to support a full time programme for gifted individuals.
3. In the absence of a full time programme for gifted individuals, students might be offered specific group instruction across grade levels, according to their individual knowledge acquisition in school subjects.
4. Gifted students, individually or in groups, should be given experiences involving a variety of appropriate acceleration-based options.
5. All students should be given experiences which involve various terms of enrichment that extend the regular school curriculum, leading to the more complete development in their minds of concepts, principles, and generalizations.
6. Mixed-ability co-operative learning groups should be used sparingly, perhaps only for the development of social skills.
7. All staff should be trained to identify and provide appropriate curricula for gifted students.
8. We should eliminate the ceiling on learning (in other words, if a student is ready to learn algebra in 5th grade, the system should not just permit but support it.).
9. Computers can be used to keep up with the students’ pace. They are patient and will hold on to an idea for a long time. Computers can do more complex tasks when the students are ready to use them in more complex ways, and they can provide information when the student is ready for it.

Career planning for the gifted

Although parents and teachers may be concerned about academic planning for gifted children, they often assume that career planning will take care of itself. The student is simply expected to make a career choice around the last year of college and then follow through on the steps necessary to attain that goal.

Unfortunately, there is growing evidence that youthful brilliance in one or more areas does not always translate into adult satisfaction and accomplishment in working life. Studies have shown that the path from education to career is not always smooth, and it may be complicated by the fact that the social-emotional problems and needs of gifted students differ from those of more typical students.

Young gifted people between the ages of II and 15 frequently report a range of problems as a result of their abundant gifts: perfectionism, competitiveness, unrealistic appraisal of their gifts, rejection from peers, confusion due to mixed messages about their talents, and parental and social pressures to achieve, as well as problems with unchallenging school programmes or increased expectations. Some encounter difficulties in finding and choosing friends and, eventually, a career. The developmental issues that all adolescents encounter exist also for gifted students, yet they are further complicated by the special needs and characteristics of being gifted. Once counselors and parents are aware of these obstacles, they seem better able to understand and support gifted adolescents. Caring adults can assists these young people to ‘own’ and develop their talents by understanding, responding to adjustments and challenges and coping with strategies.

Conclusion

Bringing up a gifted child may be ecstasy, agony and everything in between. Adults must perform almost impossible feats of balance – supporting a child’s gifts without pushing, valuing without over-investing, championing without taking over. It is costly, physically and emotionally draining, and intellectually demanding. In the first flush of pride, few parents realize that their task is in many ways similar to the task faced by parents of a child with severe handicaps. Our world does not accommodate differences easily, and it matters little whether the difference is perceived to be a deficit or an overabundance.

The most important help you can give your gifted child or children can be expressed in a single sentence: give them a safe home, a refuge where they feel loved, and genuine acceptance, particular of their differences. As adults who enjoyed such a safe home background, they should be able to put together lives of productivity and fulfilment.

USEFUL READING

• BERGER, S. (1989) College Planning for Gifted Students, The Council for Exceptional Children Reston, VA.
• COX, J., DANIEL, N. & BOSTON, B. (1985) Educating Able Learners, University of Texas Press, Austin TX.
• FREDERICKSON, R.H. & ROTHNAY, J.W.M. (1992) Recognizing and Assisting Multipotential Youth, Columbus, OH: Merril.
• KERR, B. (1985. September) ‘Raisins, the Career Aspirations of the Gifted’, The Vocational Guidance Quarterly, 32, pp. 37-43.
• KAUFMAN, F. (1988) ‘Mentors Provide Personal Coaching’,Gifted Child Monthly, 9(l), pp.I-3.