The children who appreciate their talents and capabilities-believing in the importance of them-and have self-confidence become active agents in their personal improvement since belief and confidence motivate them. They do not feel shy when asking questions, trying something new, or exploring. Instead of waiting for an opportunity to knock at their doors, they take advantage of present opportunities. They act with courage in exploring life and joining in every aspect of life.

If their thoughts and decisions are not valued, if they suffer from violence, are not taken seriously, if their excuses are mostly considered lies, if their confidence is generally thought of as a sign of know-it-all behavior, if their pleasure is seen as a sign of being pampered, then children will not develop self-respect and they will lose self-confidence.

Another point that should be kept in mind is that children always want to spend some time on their special interests. Yet, if it is the parents who generally decide what the child should do and do not offer other options, the child becomes deprived of his or her interest.

Since children are not very experienced, they can easily start to think that they are not capable. The most helpful action to remove this kind of feeling is to make them realize that there are some people who can understand them and have empathy with them. If the child experiences emotional support from parents, his or her chance of overcoming the anxieties of incapability and attaining a healthy character increases. On the other hand, if the parents do not pay attention to the complex feelings of the child and the reasons behind them, some new problems may arise. Things that are not significant for us may be very significant for the child; so we should not ignore the fears of a child.

When children feel incapable of dealing with a new problem, the parents should reveal their belief in their capacity to overcome the problem and show their support. When children need the parents, they should be near enough that the children can find them as soon as they look for them. However, this “closeness” should not be limited only to physical occasions. There should be emotional support, too.

The most important way for parents to supply this psychological support is to show their love to their children. Hugging, kissing and putting an arm on the child’s shoulder can be much more impressive than saying, “Do not be afraid; I am here with you!” Nevertheless, to say, “I show my support through my actions. There is no need to state it,” is not true. Expressing, “I love you!” with the tongue may not be so important for adults, but it is a magical expression that every child wants to hear. In this way, the child feels strong and every duty turns into a pleasure for them. To make children gain self-confidence, the parents should first know them from every aspect, recognize their talents, and then should establish necessary environment to improve their abilities. Moreover, it is essential to give opportunity to children to express their thoughts very often, to try to understand their feelings by asking, “What do you think? How do you feel?” to look at their face while they are speaking, to say how much you love the child, to make them feel that you care about them and value their opinion, to assign them some works and responsibilities that are compatible with their age, and to appreciate positive behaviors and successes they have demonstrated. In addition, it is important to set some time aside for the child, to chat with them, to talk about their negative behavior and how it could be corrected, not to forget special days, to establish a happy and peaceful family environment, to strengthen family relations and to make children feel that they are an inseparable part of the family. Children who are socially active are more self-confident, and they can easily join in the social environment around them. In this sense, especially less sociable children should be encouraged to attend social activities, and, if it is necessary, the parent should accompany the child, and promote them in asking for permission to speak inside a community. Also, parents should neither humiliate their child among other people nor exaggerate his or her failures. In order to help the child to establish a strong character, the fears and concerns of the child should be respected; thus, the parents should avoid severely critical or judgmental behavior, and they should not compare the child with other children. Furthermore, children should be required to do things that are appropriate to their age, especially to do homework by themselves. The parents should avoid improper types of punishment and reward.

Hence, children should not be belittled, and their presence should be respected; however, the parents should not expect extraordinary things, and keep in mind that the child has a different and improving character. The parents should pay attention to their school life, character education and spiritual life. Such prayers in action that are made through the tongue of necessity should also be supported with the actual prayers, and therefore parents should trust that God will arrange things for the best.

The human learning process begins with birth. The person who starts to understand their body, organs, environment, and the world in this first stage enhances their skills by practicing them within the limits of the capabilities that God has given. With the help of the senses, such as “hearing,” “seeing,” “touching,” and “smelling” the amount of knowledge proliferates rapidly. Every warning and message that reaches us is an important factor in helping learning, developing consciousness, and becoming aware of life. While the development of the intelligence and mental activity of children who lack sufficient warnings and messages becomes slower, the development of the ones who are overloaded is dispersed. It must be kept in mind that the fastest growing system in a child’s body during the first three years of life is the nervous system. Therefore, appropriate messages must be provided very early on, even from the very beginning of the pregnancy.

Messages that are received through the sense of hearing have a significant importance in child education. The mental development of children who have received ample and appropriate messages is more significant and positive. It is a well-known fact that even in the earliest stages of pregnancy the baby can distinguish the mother’s voice, and is relaxed via the sense of hearing; this sense starts to develop at the very beginning of pregnancy. Unfortunately, some parents turn the television or the radio on in the baby’s room, frequently letting them listen to it. However, what is best for the baby is to have suitable audio incentives that can be easily understood. On the other hand, to remain silent when with a baby for a long time will negatively affect the language learning process. A conversation between parents in a relaxed and gentle tone, talking about pleasant things, for example, a beautiful poem, the sound of someone reading the Qur’an, or the sound of the adhan coming from the minarets, are all useful messages for babies.

Messages received through the sense of sight are as important as those received through hearing. Humans recognize nature and themselves by seeing, touching, and trying. Although the visual capabilities of a baby develop in the womb, it takes some six months for sight to reach an appropriate level. Babies accept everything that they see during this time as training material. Everything that is seen has an important role in forming the baby’s personality. Parents must always be good models for their children, acting in commendable ways. It is a well-known fact that babies pay attention to their parents’ behavior. Since imitation is one of the earliest learning techniques; parents should remember to behave in a way that they want their children to behave. Helping each other, forgiveness, responsibility, hard-work, empathy, and correct behavior are qualities that parents should demonstrate. Seeing a parent working hard, reading, and praying will help the conscience of the child to develop. Fighting, noise, and angry words will negatively affect the development.

Messages sent through meta-communication are more effective. For example, in an advertisement of a certain product, the fact that people using that product are smiling is more important than the properties of the product. This is because such behavior attaches the message “you will be happier when you use it.” For children, living in a positive environment helps them to observe correct models. Since they use the very first form of learning-imitation-providing good examples of behavior is extremely important. In the learning process, sight is one of the most frequently used methods. Therefore, parents must display appropriate behavior to help their children to learn. Displaying correct behavior is more effective than explaining what correct behavior is.

The environment in which we live has a great importance in the education of children. The school that is chosen for children must be considered from different aspects. Most people never forget their first teacher; this is one of the milestones in our lives. The teacher starts to shape our personalities at an early age. Therefore, choosing the right teacher, someone who is not only capable, but is also virtuous and pleasant, is of great importance. The teacher’s style of dressing, way of talking, their reaction to stimulus and their behavior tells us more than the teacher can; these are also the most effective means of sending messages to our children.

The children’s group of friends is another environment that needs to be monitored carefully. Having the right friends positively affects the development of the personality of the child, while having inappropriate friends will have negative effects. Many parents cannot attain positive results, despite all their efforts in education, merely because they have forgotten the importance of the peer group on the child. Starting form the ages 6-7, the effect of friends increases gradually, peaking in the teenage years.

The effect of the media on children is indisputable, especially in today’s world. We can see violence, fear, and a lack of moral values in our children; these are all the effects of media. It is known that in cases where babies spend much time watching television these children fail to develop their linguistic skills and become withdrawn from society. The massive visual or audio input from television can cause significant problems in the psychological development of the child. Some parents allow their children to watch advertisements, as they are unaware of this fact. In child education, especially in the early stages, parents must be very careful to combat the inappropriate stimuli of the television and computer. During that period the baby needs the parents’ interest, love, conversation, and physical closeness more than they need the picture on the television or computer. Parents must remember that every stimulus during these stages has a long-lasting effect throughout the child’s life. Therefore, the stimuli given to the child must be appropriate.

As a drop of water can shape a rock by falling on it everyday, so to can appropriate or inappropriate messages shape the personality of a child over time. All the messages must be suitable to the age; they must contribute to the child’s development. They must be neither too difficult, nor incomplete and insufficient. They must be in close relation with environment. They must not contain opposing messages, and they must not impose fear or despair.

As a result, in the education of the child, parents, educators and teachers must provide appropriate, sufficient, and positive warnings and messages for children.