My father used to tell me a story in which a young boy was searching for a place where nothing like math existed. I am unsure if he crafted it for me or read it elsewhere. However, I still liken those with a fear of math to that child. Individuals with “math anxiety” spend their lives trying to avoid mathematics and its formulas, which often haunt them.

Numbers are ubiquitous in our lives, and a world without them is highly improbable. Consequently, a life devoid of mathematics is unimaginable. In an episode of the once-legendary TV show “Twilight Zone,” a man wakes up to discover that nobody understands him. Imagine waking up one morning and realizing that your loved ones no longer comprehend your language. It is a nightmarish scenario where those who understood you yesterday fail to grasp your words today—your spouse, children, neighbors, and relatives. It highlights how the modern world can isolate us from one another, rendering us incomprehensible to those closest to us. Similarly, picture waking up in a place where numbers are not utilized. Is such a place possible? Can we find a location where numbers are absent?

Surprisingly, such a place exists in the Amazon jungle. The Pirahã tribe, an Amazon-native community, has no concept of mathematical numbers in their language. This tribe represents one of the rare communities globally that lack numerical words and mathematical concepts in their linguistic structure. Comprising approximately 700 to 1000 individuals living in scattered villages of 10 to 15 adults each, it takes around ten days to travel from one village to another by canoe. The Pirahã possess a unique language, referred to by anthropologists as “anumeric.” Essentially, their language lacks expressions that indicate quantity. After significant effort, researchers have only identified three words related to the concept of numbers: “Hoi” means “one” or “a small quantity,” “Hooi” signifies “two” or “a slightly larger amount,” and “baa gisa” represents a collective or “many.” Thus, their numerical vocabulary is limited to “one,” “two,” and “many.”

The first encounter between the Pirahã tribe and the modern world occurred in 1977, bringing this community to the attention of the wider population. Professor Daniel Everett played a pivotal role in introducing the world to the Pirahã people. Initially, Everett went to the tribe as a missionary, teaching them about Christianity and the Bible over several years. However, he found himself learning a great deal from them and eventually reconsidered his own beliefs. The experience was so profound that he not only stopped his missionary work but also resigned from being a missionary altogether. When Everett first discovered the Pirahã, he was filled with the same excitement as any missionary embarking on a new mission. In his own narrative, he expected this supposedly primitive tribe to enthusiastically embrace his faith. However, their own set of beliefs rendered his efforts fruitless during his first three years.

The tribe refers to themselves as Pirahã, meaning “straightforward” or “only human.” Everett’s initial observation was their sincerity. Despite the challenges they faced, the Pirahã people never complained about their conditions and always found reasons to be grateful and content. Everett even considered them to be the happiest people in the world. Their livelihood primarily relied on hunting and fishing, and all food obtained was shared among the villagers. Other Amazonian tribes exist alongside the Pirahã. However, what sets the Pirahã apart is their contentment with what they have and their lack of envy towards the possessions of others. Unlike other tribes, they do not yearn for the belongings of Brazilians, such as guns or horses. When they cannot acquire similar possessions, it does not break their spirits or make them feel bad. The Pirahã people take pride solely in being Pirahã; their self-esteem is exceptionally high, and they have no regrets.

The Pirahã tribe holds firm to their own values and beliefs. They believe in the existence of invisible beings known as “fast mouths” that reside in the forest. According to their beliefs, these beings are similar to the Pirahã people but speak in a different way. The Pirahã only believe in what they see, except for the “fast mouths.” Whenever Everett spoke to them about his faith, he faced the same question repeatedly: “Have you ever seen Jesus? Why do you continue to talk about things you have never seen?” It took Everett three years to gain acceptance among the tribe and learn their language. They refer to anyone who does not know their language as a foreigner and never truly consider them one of their own. Despite occasionally being called “brother,” this did not contribute to Everett’s missionary work. One day, a Pirahã individual approached Everett and said, “We know why you are here—to tell us about Jesus. We appreciate your friendship. You are a good person, but we do not wish to hear about Jesus either. Remember, we are not Americans.” It was then that Everett began to question his own actions. How justified is it to impose one’s beliefs on others? Eventually, these and similar thoughts led Everett to give up his missionary work. He underwent a personal transformation, realizing that these people were not superstitious and did not discuss things they had not seen or heard. According to Everett, the Pirahã people were the happiest individuals he had encountered in the world. Moreover, their lives were free from the complexities of mathematics, numbers, taxes, and mortgages.

Although the Pirahã people lack mathematical knowledge and do not use quantities as we do, it would be a mistake to assume they lack intelligence. They possess extensive knowledge about the plants in the forest and readily recognize which plants can be used to cure various ailments. They have the ability to train wild animals, such as raising a baby eagle from an early age and then using it for hunting. They compare their hardworking nature to that of ants. Their environmental knowledge is astonishing, even though they may be considered “primitive.” According to the Pirahã people, Pirahã individuals work day and night, just as ants do. If they choose to, they can interact with people in the big city. Everett, who lived among the Pirahã people for seven years, recounts the story of a girl from the tribe who went to work in the city. She worked as a cashier in a supermarket. However, after two years, she returned to her village, expressing that she found city life highly stressful and missed the tranquility of her village. This example alone demonstrates that the Pirahã people possess cognitive abilities akin to mathematics, although they prefer not to use them in the conventional sense. Their language includes concepts related to objects, colors, and intonation, but it lacks numbers and the concept of time. They divide time into morning, noon, and evening. If a tone is not heard, communication can become challenging. Due to the absence of numbers in their language, questions related to quantities can be perplexing for them. For instance, a simple question like “How many children do you have?” holds no meaning for them. They find such questions strange and wonder why these outsiders ask them. Understanding the unique dynamics of tribal life provides insight into why this question, in particular, seems odd, irrespective of their lack of numerical concepts. Within the Pirahã community, children belong to the tribe, and everyone collectively takes care of them. The same sense of communal responsibility extends to the sick, the needy, and the elderly. Money is not used within the tribe, as they adhere to a culture of exchange. Although Brazilian merchants attempted to introduce money to the tribe, their efforts were unsuccessful.

The Pirahã people, an indigenous tribe living in the Amazon rainforest, have a unique perspective on mathematics and life. Their numerical system is limited to the concepts of one, two, and many. While their understanding of mathematics may differ from other cultures, these concepts hold significance in their worldview. From a philosophical and religious standpoint, one can interpret these concepts as representing different aspects of existence. One can symbolize the Creator, who is believed to have the power to create everything from nothing. The Creator is seen as unequalled and knowing Him is considered valuable. For the Pirahã, life feels incomplete and meaningless without this knowledge. The concept of two represents humanity. The union of a male and a female, symbolized by Adam and Eve in various belief systems, is seen as the origin of humankind. Despite their differences, the unity of these two parts is considered essential for giving meaning to life. The continuation of human life relies on the existence of couples, which the Pirahã attribute to the world order established by a higher power. Lastly, the concept of many represents the diversity found in the universe. The Pirahã observe the multitude of life forms, such as animals, insects, plants, mountains, and stones. The Quranic verse from Surah Nisa, verse 1, emphasizes the scattering of men and women from a single human self and its mate, highlighting the abundance and diversity of human beings.

The Pirahã’s limited numerical system of one, two, and many may be rooted in their cultural perception that the abundance and diversity of the universe reflect the Creator’s design. It’s important to note that the Pirahã culture and worldview are unique, and their understanding of these concepts may differ from interpretations in other cultures and belief systems. The perspective presented here reflects a specific religious and philosophical viewpoint. Different individuals, cultures, and belief systems may have alternative interpretations based on their own experiences and beliefs.

We always want more. We sometimes so much more for selfish reasons only, turning this desire into greed, and we become oblivious to the needs of others. Greed has made many people wild in history and still does. The Gilded Age, a period of gross materialism and political corruption in U.S. history, serves as a prime example. Mehmet Akif, a famous Turkish poet, describes the harms of greed in the following lines: People became savage; even more so than hyenas / If one were to become toothless; his own brothers would devour him. The desire of wanting more made people cruel even to their own kind. Said Nursi advises to suffice with contentment should one desire more. The pros of having less outweigh the good that comes with having excess. As a result, having less is more valuable. In other words, less is more. This formula is relevant in many aspects of our lives.

Our life consists of the decisions we make. An average person makes around 35,000 decisions every day, most of which are unnecessary. Making unnecessary decisions affects our life more than it is assumed. In 2000, psychologists Sheena Iyengar and Mark Lepper from Columbia and Stanford universities discovered a relationship between the number of decisions we make and the time we spend to make each decision by doing “The Jam Experiment.” One day, they set a display table with 24 kinds of jams in a market. On another day, shoppers saw a similar table, except that only six varieties of the jam were on display. Although the display table with more jams received the most visits by people, when the time came to purchase, people who saw the large display were one-tenth as likely to buy as people who saw the small display.

As a result of similar experiments it was proved that as the number of decisions increases the time to make each decision becomes longer and harder. The relationship between them can be drawn as a parabola; the more useless decisions we make, the time we waste exponentially increases. If we decrease the number of decisions we have to make every day we would see that we have much more time left at the end of the day. As such, we should cut down on some needless decisions that we make such as which cup we will drink tea out of or which perfume we will use.

Children make eleven times fewer decisions per day than adults. Some scientists assume that, therefore, they tend to be happier and less depressed than adults due to the increased simplicity of their lives. The fewer decisions we make the more time we will have and happier we will be. Less is more…

The tongue is a great blessing. At first, it appears to be just a piece of meat but it serves many purposes including as the “translator of the mind.” Ibn Al-Qayyim, an important medieval Islamic jurisconsult, theologian, and spiritual writer stated that “A person’s tongue can give you the taste of his heart.” It can drive a person to either success or ruination in this world and the Hereafter. Words reflect a person’s soul, faith, thoughts, ideas, and ideals. The ears only hear, the eyes only see, and yet the field of the tongue is much larger. It has ample space for good and evil. At first, talking so much may seem that it makes a person wise but in reality it does the opposite. An excess of everything is very harmful. An Azerbaijani poet and philosopher Nizami Ganjavi said, “Although water has the purity of a pearl, it also brings harm when being drunk too much.” When we talk so much we also start talking unnecessarily. This trend can be observed even in economics: when the amount of a commodity increases its value tends to decrease. Talking in a concise manner is the most rewarding, however it is not easy. But, if a person measures every word they say and make their words pass through the filter of the mind and virtue, then their words will increase in value and benefit. Less is more…

We have been blessed with many gifts in this world including the gift of food. In the Qur’an, God says, “Eat, drink, but do not waste” (Araf, 31). From that perspective, we may think that we can eat as much as we want. However, wasting does not only include throwing excess food away but also means that we should not harm our bodies, which ultimately do not belong to us, by eating too much. In a normal diet our stomachs produce routine enzymes for nutrients that break them down in order to make them digestible. In the meantime, we should not forget that our stomach spends energy. But when overeating, the stomach needs to produce a lot of enzymes thus requiring more energy to produce excess enzymes. In a normal diet, stomach digestion is easily performed within 3 to 4 hours and the heart is able to function perfectly well. But when eating too much the heart is tired by 4 to 6 times more so that digestion, circulation, and excretion can be done. Not only the heart but all organs in the digestive, storage, and excretory system are highly affected by this extra work. As an ironic consequence food that we use to feed and benefit ourselves is thus used to harm our bodies. Eating less also brings about more benefits than eating more.

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) has many times stressed the importance of talking less. For example, he said, “The one who stays quiet is saved” along with, “Should I tell you the easiest and the lightest worship for the body? Silence and good morals.” The Prophet also advised to eat to live, not the other way around: “Fill one-third of your stomach with food, fill one-third of it with water, and leave the other one-third empty.” Umar ibn al-Khattab (r.a), the second Caliph of Islam prayed: “Oh God, give me only as much as I need. Having enough to meet my need is better than having excess.”

Excess often harms us, but there are exceptions, including prayer, good work, and helping other people. It is indeed better to push ourselves to go above and beyond in these regards without going to an extreme point where we are overwhelmed.

To be able to lead a virtuous life, especially one that is extremely careful about moral values and worship, it is important to develop a character of seriousness, dignity, prudence, and contentment; and we must ensure that we graft these traits onto our nature as a dimension of our personality. Though this sounds simple, it is not a very easy venture.

As an example of how to make these traits a dimension of our nature, we can quote the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, who prescribes that one should self-train their character to this level: “This Qur’an has been revealed with sadness. Cry when you read it. If you are not able to cry, force yourself to” (Ibn Maja, Iqama, 176; Zuhd 19).

In other words, read the Qur’an with peace in your heart and tranquility in your soul. In view of this, you may need to take forced steps before gaining the traits mentioned above; and because of this you may face criticism from people who are not cognizant of the profundity of this matter. However, you should not get hung up on such things; for on this road you have set out to reach Him.

Let us consider some other examples on the attributes of virtue. I believe that avoiding vain talk comes at the fore of the principles of virtuous living. Speaking a lot may lead one to commit a lot of mistakes, which may lead to further undesired consequences. The Prophet would never speak without being asked a question, or unless he deemed it necessary to expound on a matter. Following in his footsteps, his Companions acted in the same way.

For example, it is told that Abu Bakr, the hero of faithfulness, would put a small stone in his mouth in order not to talk foolishly. When it was necessary for him to speak, he would take the stone out, speak, and then put it back again. Although I have never found this story in sound sources, I did not and would not find this to be strange. A man of such caliber like him might have done such a thing in order to discipline himself. Sound sources show that while at the Prophet’s side following the Emigration to Medina, Abu Bakr did not utter more than a few hundred words . This can be shown as proof of the earlier story.

If a person’s speech explains something related to the world of the heart, spirit, or mind, and if it enlightens others in regard to these, then it is beneficial. All other speech can be considered wasteful. How can a religion that forbids wasting water while making ablutions even on the banks of a stream consider it permissible to waste jewels like words, which are more important to a person than water?

Ascetics have adopted “scarcity of words,” “scarcity of food,” and “scarcity of sleep,” as vital life principles. In this case, we can easily see meaningless and trivial talk as objectionable. Similar to eating, drinking, and dressing, talking should also be economical; the number of words it takes to explain a theme or main idea should be approximated and spoken accordingly. Speech should be made so that absolutely no words are wasted – and consequently no time is wasted. Speaking by weighing and filtering every word is a moral task. Gaining this virtue and making it natural takes a lot of time and effort.

Asceticism—meaning abandoning worldly pleasures and resisting physical inclinations—is also morally very important. Asceticism has a very serious place for seekers of spiritual awareness, and it was pointed out by the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, as an important dynamic of the spiritual path long before it came to be considered part of the Sufi discipline. Adding to this Bediuzzaman’s approach to asceticism—”abandoning the world not physically, but in the heart,” as well as not glorifying the world and the things in it more than they deserve, having no worldly expectations, and being dignified enough to have no desire to leave behind a huge legacy—these become indispensable traits for every believer, especially those spirits who are committed to a higher cause.

At first, taking such an attitude against wealth, social status, fame, etc., in every aspect of your personality, can be very difficult. But by beginning with small things and working towards bigger things, this will become a part of our nature. It may start with thoughts like, “it is enough that I have one dress today; no need for a second one. Otherwise, I will want a third and then a fourth.” This is the prophetic practice of an ascetic life.

We can certainly make a longer list of virtues other than these two, like being earnest in matters of character, keeping one’s eyes pure from sinful looks, avoiding pride, etc. But these are a good place to start on the journey to virtue.

Practicing one’s faith, i.e. worship, is also a matter requiring constant exercise. It starts first by praying in due time without delay; and praying with love and enthusiasm on a level at which God opens doors of acceptance. We should not pray as if ridding ourselves of a heavy weight.

Of course, the full experience of prayer is not a summit that can be attained immediately. However, a person can make it feel natural by doing it over and over again. More accurately, he must do this. As a result, in spite of all the independent desires of the ego, a person should live so as to give his will its due. To do this, the traits that make a person human should become natural to them.

Knowing oneself is a good starting point. But what does it mean, after all? Is it possible to know yourself at all, particularly with all the tools we are presented with or forced to acquire throughout our lives? Tools, after all, are all limited in nature, presented to you by others, such as language skills, thought processes, and cognitive abilities. Then, do you think you can know yourself, let alone develop your own philosophy of life? With all these difficulties, you set out on one of two differing paths, either one where you become a thinker yourself and be a lighthouse yourself, or another, where you just drift around another lighthouse. Anything beyond could be darkness. The difference between these two seems to lie in asking, seeking, and questioning; that is, in having an inquisitive mind versus embracing, accepting, and believing – in other words, having a submissive mind. It becomes more like choosing a blue pill versus a red one, as is depicted in a recent film, which is a rather successful strategy for guiding the submissive in searching for meaning.

With all these thoughts, let me begin to talk about my journey of seeking the meaning of life – well, in particular my life. With all the boundaries and veils around me set by education and indoctrination, I set sail into different waters, far away. I enjoyed being myself as a subject rather than an object. I freed myself of some knowledge without any facts and was bound by other knowledge. This painstaking unweaving and weaving of myself led me to being who I am now, with numerous toolsets of scientific facts and knowledge, of faith and truths, with numerous veils, some old and some new. And I am somewhat content with what I have now, albeit at times I fear missing the whole point that is the meaning of life. Then, I revert to my comfort zone and feel safer for the moment.

Again, with all the new adventures and relearning of myself, I find myself mostly looking for contentment with life – both my life and others. Contentment, superficially a head-to-toe feeling, gives me a sense of safety and the courage to seek more facts and knowledge in science and faith. Confusion, on the other hand, is my fear. The difference is like having 20/20 vision versus having serious cataracts. In my journey, the beam of a lighthouse illuminated me and made me feel that I have 20/20 vision, by which I can potentially see and get to know everything and be contented with everything, most importantly with myself. But was this just due to this lighthouse or had I developed the tools to be my own lighthouse? With the comfort of not having to probe this question, I preferred to drift near this lighthouse all the time.

Reaching a comfort zone around this luminous lighthouse, and in my contentment, I stalled in searching myself for a while. Each and every time I attempted to sail a little further, I quit, fearful that I could go no further. I then realized that there were many more artifacts around this lighthouse that could help me develop my own tools for my journey. They were quite marvelous and beautiful artifacts. They were also quite handy, as if they were made for my use. I tremendously enjoyed collecting these objects, and sort of built my own little ship under a little projector. And, as if there must always be a catch, some of these artifacts were reflective in nature, and when I looked at them, I saw my own dark side. This soured my enjoyment for seeking and collecting ornaments. As if this was not enough of a sore point in my journey, I got to see others’ dark sides as well, which caused me even further pain. A dualism of saying and doing in many led me to become more cautious, as I tried to shed light into my dark sides. After all, terrible things could happen in the dark. As I enjoyed the moments under the lighthouse, despite the possibility of darkness, I learned that there were also other artifacts that could help me with my dark side and my dealing with others’ darkness. Through formulating and solving these problems, I was delighted to find that these artifacts were even more beautiful than when I thought when I saw them for the first time. Along with these ornaments, I also got to meet some great adventurers just like me, with the same hopes and problems and also with helping hands. I became even more content with what I had at the time.

As time passed, I encountered another obstacle in my journey; I lost my passion for the search. I felt too overwhelmed with the almost constant dualism of saying and doing and tended to lose my patience with the darkness in others and partly in myself. This was too much to take. Was there another artifact around to help me through this obstacle? In search of this “yet to be found” artifact, I again partly got into the process of unweaving and weaving myself. While moving through this stage, I got to see that finding more and more objects could cause someone to become quite pretentious and full of false hope. This newly found “fact” saddened me quite deeply.

Not to be trapped in these obstacles, I needed to put more effort into finding more around me to help me proceed. But it was not easier. On the contrary, it was a lot more difficult. This led me to another “fact”: whatever I was searching for could be only found by someone who persists. I got to see that knowing and doing are quite different, just as saying and doing are different from each other. Nevertheless, I grew more curious about what might come, let it be other precise substances or quasi-unyielding obstacles. Maybe this seek, jump, and find makes the trip joyful and worthwhile.

Where am I right now? With more artifacts and greater contentment with what I have and who I am, I am now more eager to set sail further under the luminous light of this breathtaking lighthouse, full of passion and joy, seeking to see what is to come. Have I developed any sense of knowledge or belief, or a motto for my life? Well, I am at a point right now where I know by heart that there are beautiful objects and ornaments and flowers in the Garden of Eden. They are only visible in the light, and I am much contented that I found a beautiful lighthouse that continuously sheds light on the Garden. I am undecided yet whether I can sail further or stay around in my current contentment.

When I look back, I see that throughout my joyful journey, I tried to keep an inquisitive mind and learn about my dark side while discovering that there are more things waiting to be found and healed. I also learned that being pretentious and contentious is a big obstacle to gaining consciousness in finding the good in life. I also got to see that while seeking, finding, being helped and helping others – sailing, in other words – the whole journey is full of action and reading. Reading myself, others, and all these artifacts, reading the beautiful writing on this beautiful lighthouse was what I was doing all along. This reading and doing made the journey of life actually very rewarding in itself. I now treasure the artifact I get to develop throughout my journey – sometimes alone, but mostly under the light of the lighthouse I came across. I have a strong knowledge of and belief in this artifact. It gives me passion and conscience throughout my journey of life, through which I sometimes walk alone, but mostly with others. It sheds light when I see darkness in myself and in others. It helps me find more precious artifacts and develop even more of them along the way. It helps me find joy even among obstacles. It gives me passion and hope for getting ready to sail away into unseen waters that will take me among the endless artifacts under the light without any darkness. Then, I will say I am more than content and thankful for this great fulfilling journey.

Once I could see God in one thing – even though it was the vastest, most mysterious, and perhaps most obvious example in creation – I was able to see God in almost anything.

Before, there was no meaning. There was no cohesion. There was no contentment. Instead, there was sorrow. There was an endless search for pleasure. There was a fear of death, but also a fear of life. And there were questions. There were always questions. And the answers I found only made me ask more and more questions. I was under the impression that there was no certainty, no order, no higher meaning – that I was asking questions that were not meant to be asked.

To put it another way, during this time in my life, I had the perception that knowledge and belief were incompatible – a relatively common idea, as I have found. Many will say that science goes against religion. Some will choose religion; I chose science, because in many ways, it appeared to be the more difficult one to dismiss. In retrospect, I know that my conception of religion was simply wrong, that the two really can be, and are, compatible. After all, not only did God give us intellectual capacities for a reason, but also, the book of divine revelation cannot contradict the book of creation. Would that not undermine God’s wisdom? Regardless, at the time, my belief had melted away due to my increasing awareness not only of science, but also that scientific accuracy was lacking in my faith. As a result, a never-ending barrage of questions ceaselessly entered my head.

To me, life had no real meaning. Everyone at some point asks, “Why am I here?” Before, my answer to this question was, “To make myself happy.” Therefore, my life was centered on myself – I was the center of the universe. No one else mattered. All of my time was spent on seeking pleasure – physical pleasure, material pleasure, intellectual pleasure. I was focused on finding happiness, and I thought this happiness would be found in gaining the acceptance of others, in having many possessions, in being well liked, in indulging in worldly pleasures. In my career path, I did not desire to make a difference in the world nor was I concerned with earning lots of money, strangely enough – I simply wanted a job that I adored: a job that made me happy. Mind you, what this job was, I did not know, but this was my goal and my primary concern.

I did not know the meaning of life, nor did I know why or how I got here, so seemingly, the only reasonable solution was to enjoy the life that I had. Why I had this life was of little import. So, I set off on a journey in search of lasting, worldly happiness, but I did not find it. Instead, I found that this abstract entity was very elusive. When it seemed I had found real and genuine happiness, I would lose it. The pleasures I partook in on this journey were only transitory, so when the contentment I found in them was gone, there was only pain. This left me still feeling empty, feeling that there was no real deep and lasting contentment to be had in this world. It was akin, in a way, to an addiction. I was always trying to get my “fix,” and over time, it became increasingly difficult to satisfy myself, to hide the pain – pain that resulted from wanting, from desiring even, to live a life of higher meaning, all the while not knowing how to attain it.

Regardless of the fact that, initially, it was knowledge and questioning that caused my belief to wither, during this time, I was not at all interested in increasing my knowledge – not in reading or in learning. I was simply apathetic; perhaps I had become burnt out due to knowledge causing me to ask questions that seemed unanswerable. Pondering frustrating existential questions was not pleasurable, nor was it, seemingly, a path to happiness, so I just ignored my thirst for knowledge and answers. In lieu, I spent my time on shallow frivolities, but this got very old, very fast.

Despite my pulling away from intellectual endeavors and from belief, there were still some topics that occasionally caught my interest. It was my seemingly innate fascination with space, with the universe, that made me reconsider my belief in God. I could not look at the order and perfection inherent there and think that it was all just a random occurrence. This was simply impossible to me. There are innumerable examples, but for one, if the earth were any closer to the sun, it would be too hot to sustain life, and gravity would be too strong. If it were any further away, the opposite would be true – it would be too cold and gravity would be too weak. As I see it, the earth’s distance from the sun could not have been a mere coincidence. In the words of Nursi, the universe is a “macro Qur’an,” and I was able to discern this even before my personal beliefs were solidified; I could clearly see that the universe is brimming with God’s signs, and that the sheer vastness of it is a testament to His infinity and oneness.

Once I could see God in one thing – even though it was the vastest, most mysterious, and perhaps most obvious example in creation – I was able to see God in almost anything: the tides of the ocean, the composition of the atmosphere, a seed sprouting into a small tree, the uniqueness of a fingerprint, the utter complexity inherent in an atom, despite its size, or even the varieties of difference – and remarkable similarity – between people. To emphasize this, God repeats over and over, “Then which of the favors of your Lord will you deny?” And it had thus become clear – I cannot deny any of them because all of creation is a reflection of its Creator.

At this realization – that God does indeed exist, for He manifests Himself everywhere – my thirst for knowledge made a swift resurgence, but first I had to forget everything I had previously known about my beliefs, my desires, my goals, my life’s purpose – I even had to forget everything I knew about myself. I had to gain a new mindset and refine my worldview. I had to reevaluate my own personal motto. I had to change even the minutest aspects of my daily routine. There was so incredibly much to learn, as there had been so much time that I had wasted. The turnaround seemed hasty or even abrupt, but it had been in the works, covertly, for a long, long time. Those times when I pushed aside my questions? They were the final moments of calm before my life would be flipped upside down, losing every last bit of resemblance to my previous life.

Now, I feel guilt if I waste too much time. I have, seemingly, almost a compulsion to learn something new every single day. I read – constantly – about anything and everything. My desire for knowledge is no longer in a vacuum, as it was before, because now I know that knowledge could be used to increase faith and belief, and faith and belief could be used to increase knowledge. For every question of faith or of the nature of life that knowledge led me to ponder, belief gave me answers – answers that satisfied me. The satisfaction was in seeing how knowledge and faith were not only compatible – they were intertwined. I could see the perfect order in everything created by God, and I could see all of the problems inherent in the society created by man – materialism, narcissism, and a lack of faith. But these problems were not only on the macro scale of society; on the micro scale, they had been my problems. They had been the obstacles to my happiness and contentment. I had life, and I had knowledge. Faith was the missing piece.

I still partake in worldly pleasures – I am not an ascetic, nor do I claim to be. These pleasures, however, are not the means to happiness. Belief is the means to happiness. Worldly pleasure is a gift from God, and so I experience pleasure for what it gives me – temporary pleasure. I no longer expect it to give me lasting contentment. Faith gives me that. Life for me is no longer this endless search for worldly satisfaction because happiness cannot be found among things of this world; it can only be found through certainty of belief. With certainty of belief, I now know that even pain and suffering has a greater purpose – everything has a greater purpose.

Before, I wanted happiness at any cost. That was my motto. Now, I focus on increasing my belief and my faith. I study, read, and reason since exercising my intellectual capacities is a way to do that and because I must not waste the gifts I have been given. My life has a different purpose now – to contribute to the greater good, to use my free will responsibly, to live rationally and reasonably, and to remember God in everything I do. One can always strive for this and never tire of it because there are infinite rewards and there is infinite room for improvement. So now, the motto that I live by is “knowledge to increase faith, faith to increase contentment.” Now, I have found all of the missing pieces.