Discipline means the directions and prohibitions, as well as the rational, ethical and spiritual training one must abide by. It is the “spirit of order” one must obtain to become a balanced person. A disciplined person is thus one who lives within the parameters of certain rules and principles and one who is sensitive to order and regulations. As a matter of fact, the life of a believer should always be in harmony. They should always know what to do and when they should do it, what activities they should engage in beforehand and they should act accordingly. Apart from organizing a program and creating a time frame in which to perform certain activities, they should not think: “I wonder what I should do now?” They should determine their duties and responsibilities towards their Creator, to other people and to themselves, being aware all the time of when they should perform these acts in an organized predetermined manner, and always displaying exemplary order and structure. In fact, prescribed prayers provide us with a timetable to organize our time. Believers map out their time frame saying, “after the noon prayer (zuhr) . . . before the evening prayer (maghrib),” thus ensuring that they do not waste one moment of time.

Those who know the value of time and realize that their life is a blessing which should be utilized properly ensure that all aspects of their lives, from sleeping to waking, from eating to drinking, are under control. They do not neglect matters or procrastinate. They are well aware of the fact that both people and organizations are the most productive when they are organized well. Therefore, Ramadan is a response to the carnal desires for eating, drinking, sleeping, etc, and in this way it instills discipline into our lives, ensuring that these needs are met according to our basic requirements and within the parameters of gratitude. Through seeking refuge in the spiritual atmosphere of the heart and soul against one’s carnal desires and through strengthening the will by setting into motion the conscience, Ramadan teaches us that we must maintain this discipline.

Ramadan ensures that the desire to eat and drink, which can be a true weak spot for some, is constrained and under control. It teaches us discipline in eating. Of course, we need to eat and drink to live, however, not only is it unhealthy for the body to eat and drink without taking into account basic principles of nutrition; it is also a catastrophe if the stomach is allowed to dominate the heart and soul, causing a person to plummet into the pits of material and carnal desires. Indeed, to eat in an unregulated manner in which the stomach is always full is not only harmful to the body, it is also an act not condoned by God. The fasting that is carried out during Ramadan serves to limit the times for the intake of food, thus avoiding an overloading of the stomach, as well as avoiding those things that are harmful to both the body and soul; in addition one is able to ensure that one always stays within the parameters of what is permitted. People who undergo the Ramadan gain a disciplined spirit.

Ramadan brings to each person who is able to benefit from it the status of a loyal servant. Each believer who fasts and who is able to discover the hidden meaning will not only be awarded with God’s blessing, but will also be loyal and virtuous in their dealings with their community. It will not be enough for them just to worship at certain times, but they will walk towards the horizon of integrity by making use of their whole day with this consciousness, living as if in worship each moment. When they are able to free themselves from worldly and material inclinations, the objective of becoming a symbol of truth and devotion to God will appear before them. With the purpose of achieving this aim, they, in the words of Bediuzzaman Said Nursi, will start to think for the sake of God, speak for the sake of God, love for the sake of God, aiming to always be surrounded by God’s approval; each day this intention brings them closer to success, and one day they become a person of loyaltyand devotion.

In fact, fasting is the best indication of loyalty as it is a concurrence between the Creator and created. The servant shows that they are able to give up certain things during certain times and they show their devotion through such restrain. In return, God declares that He will give the reward for such a display of loyalty. A person who is loyal to God in time is elevated to the status of “a monument of loyalty” in their personal and social life. With these feelings, they care for their family and relatives (sila-i rahim); they reach out to all in need; they never forgo charity (zakat); their thirst for giving alms is never insatiable (sadaqa). For Muslims, one of the important aspects of the relationship with the Creator is reading the Qur’an and praying to God, seeking refuge in Him at all times. It is unfortunate that often it is only during Ramadan that the Qur’an is liberated from the carved chests and embroidered silk cases, becoming a sweet syrup for the tongue and heart. This holy month puts the flavor of the Qur’an into the mouth and instills in people the discipline of the daily religious tasks. Those whose lives with all dimensions become regulated in Ramadan-eating, sleeping, praying, etc.- should ensure that they are able to protect and continue the worship and religious obligations that they fulfilled for the entire month in an orderly fashion after Ramadan has finished. For example, those believers who interrupt their sleep during the month to benefit from the blessings of predawn meal (sahur) and who have a reunion with their prayer mat should consider these thirty nights as a stepping stone that enables them to see each night of the year as a night of reunion, and enlighten their nights with a few cycles of prayer (tahajjud).

Disciplined people predetermine how they shall live and act; they carve a path for themselves with certain principles and proceed carefully. Islam has already determined the color, shape and design of our actions. For example, belief in God and His Prophet is the most important principle. This principle acts as a corner Stone in shaping our behavioral traits. We are responsible to advocate for God and the Prophet, who is a guide to all humanity. It is our duty to teach our religion. Accordingly, we try to conquer hearts and we try to represent Islam, which means being good to others, through our own actions that reflect this goodness. We mingle with others who have been adorned with the actions that are shaped by our religion and introduce them to our values. Apart from actions that have been religiously forbidden, we use all means necessary to explain to others the ideals to which we have devoted ourselves, trying to eliminate all the obstacles that stand between them and the truths of faith. At the same time, we distinguish between being a disciplined person and being bound by regulations that lead to inflexibility; we take into account the circumstances which we find ourselves in at the same time as safeguarding our cultural realities and enlightening those around us in an appropriate manner. If we aim to be bestowed with the good pleasure of God and we have devoted ourselves to communicate Him to humanity, then regardless of conditions in which we find ourselves in, we will be far from inactivity, we will not fall weak, and we will not avoid our responsibility. “Let the spring come, the flowers blossom, the nightingales sing, and then I will also sing” is not a thought that would enter the mind of a disciplined person. They will sing in the winter and in the summer and serenade the roses in the spring and autumn. They find a tune for each season and time and never refrain from chanting these truths. Of course, this supremacy of a heart and spirit that has been disciplined in this way-unless there is benevolence endowed by God-cannot be achieved at once. To reach such a horizon requires a long time and serious commitment. But it is enough to say that Ramadan is a beginning and that it is a fruitful time to sow these virtues so that they may be reaped later.

Actually, for those who believe, a person’s life is Ramadan, adolescence is when the fasting begins, and death is the breaking of the fast. One month of Ramadan is like a rehearsal for a fast that will last a life time. Those who know how to continue to enjoy the virtues gained in this month are aware that the remuneration of staying thirsty and hungry in this world will come to them when they break the fast with God’s words “My servants, I used to see you off color, with your eyes and cheeks sunken and you used to endure this for Me. Eat and drink to your hearts’ content for all that you sent ahead in advance in days past.”¹

Note

1. Haqqah 69:24.

The teacher-student relationship, or rapport, is the most important factor contributing to effective teaching. How a teacher portrays him/herself or is perceived by the students, the label he/she is given (bad or good teacher) determine the quality of the teaching-learning process.

Numerous studies, a great deal of research, books, and articles all shed light on this topic. Teachers are presented with many suggestions and ideas on how to become a good teacher. On the other hand, it seems that teachers are so bombarded with ideas that they can hardly digest and utilize them in their daily lives.

I would like to take a different approach and highlight an often overlooked corner of this field: How to become a bad teacher.

The principles of teacher-student relationships

Establish friendships with your students, but do not stop there: act like a child. Worry about what to teach rather than how to facilitate the learning process. Assisting one student at a time is good enough. Others can wait. Don’t worry about trying to assist more than one student with group activities. Be presumptuous towards your students. You have years of experience, you can decipher a student in a few minutes.

It is none of your business if the students develop good relations with each other. Do not bother to adopt a leadership role for this purpose. Some teachers try to get the popular students and the not so popular ones together, helping them to respect one another. These are efforts in vain. With your strong presence everybody will behave and that’s good enough.

Students are too young to develop a sense of responsibility anyway. They cannot be taught how to resolve their own problems, make their own decisions and self-criticisms. You must be there to enforce discipline.

Expected teacher behavior

Assign homework as a way of punishment and threaten your students with grades. Adopt one teaching method, preferably one in which you talk and they listen. If it has worked for so many generations, it ought to work for you.

Do not use encouragement or praise. Do not make any jokes. Do not check the student’s work or monitor progress. Let only the high achievers talk in class discussions. You do not have time to waste listening to poor achievers. They probably have nothing to contribute to the discussion anyway.

Do not tell the students what the expected behavior is. Do not provide a suitable environment in which expected behavior can flourish. Let your own behavior be inconsistent with that of your colleagues. When responding to unacceptable behavior or mistakes use negative criticism. Criticize your students instead of their actions. Be easily affected and distracted by negative comments. Discipline your students using only reprimands and punishment. Do not give time for your students to correct themselves.

Do not have a good lesson plan and let the kids be without a task from time to time. Include topics which you have not previously covered in your assignments. Be a book-oriented teacher. Go into your classroom, deliver your lesson, and leave. Remain distant from students. Do not position yourself in such a way that all the students in the room can see you. Turn your back to your class frequently. That way they will learn to value their time with you.

Do not take into consideration physiological and social development phases or the academic levels of your students. Do not cater for the needs of students with different learning paces. Do not let the students enjoy their achievements.

Focus on undesirable behavior rather than desirable behavior. Address some of your students with their first names while calling others “boy” or “girl.” Do not worry about fairness in awarding or punishing your students. Do not speak clearly. Use slang words.

Handle aggressively even minor discipline problems. Do not ignore anything however small it might be. Never laugh with your students and always keep in mind that you may lose control of the class if you do so. The students are expected to be obedient at all times without questioning anything. Tell students off in front of others if you need to. Never forget that discipline is a major problem; this has been suggested by so many other teachers. Ignore the fact that sometimes students may violate the rules because of your attitude. Do not let the students know that bad behavior is actually showing disrespect to themselves.

Teachers must be mean in order to discipline the students. Punish the whole class if you are not able to find the student who caused the discipline problem. Keep in mind that punishment is easier than prevention. Do not inform the administration, even if the students make it impossible for you to conduct the class. Keep it to yourself as this will protect your reputation.

Conclusion

Resist the temptation to listen to the suggestions of educators from around the world, take the easier path and become a bad teacher. Believe me it is very easy.

Authoritarian Parents

Authoritarian parenting, also termed dictatorial or harsh, is low on warmth/nurturance, strict on discipline, high in parent-to-child communication but low in child-to-parent communication, and high on expectation. This style has been predominant throughout Western history: “It was effective in status quo times, for example in agrarian-industrial societies” (Dinwiddie 1995).

Authoritarian parents show little affection and “seem aloof from their children” (Berger 2001, 283). Parents instruct and order, do not consider the children’s opinion as a group, and discourage verbal give-and-take (Gonzalez-Mena 1993). Obedience, respect, and tradition are highly valued. Rules are non-nogoliable, parents are always right, and disobedient children are punished-often physically. However, parents “do not cross the line to physical abuse” (Berger 2001, 283). As children obey their parents in order to avoid punishment, they become passive. Authoritarian parents also expect a level of maturity higher than the norm for their child’s particular age group: “The authoritarian parents assign the child the same responsibilities as adults” (Scarr, Weinberg, and Levine 1986, 306). Responsiveness is low, as the approach is parent-centered and stresses the parent’s needs.

This almost noninteractive style has serious developmental drawbacks (Daniel, Wassell, and Gilligan 1999). Children are more susceptible to antisocial peer pressure during adolescence, a time when peer influence is the greatest (Collins et al. 2000); learn not to discuss issues with their parents (why bother if you are always wrong or ignored?); and are influenced greatly by their peers. Often frustrated, they distance themselves from their parents by rebelling against the latter’s values and beliefs.

Steinberg et al. (1994) reveals that boys in this category have the highest level of violence. Steinberg (1996) shows that these teenagers are less self-reliant, persistent, and socially poised, and have lower self-esteem. In addition, there is a strong inverse correlation between such authoritarianism and good grades. Other research indicates that they lack social competence and rarely initiate activities: “They show less intellectual curiosity, are not spontaneous and usually rely on the voice of authority” (Parenting n.d.).

Permissive Parents

Permissive parenting, also labeled as neglectful or disengaged parenting, is high on warmth, very low on discipline and structure, low in parent-to-child communication but high in child-to-parent communication, and low on expectation. This style was popular in the 1950s and 1960s. The fact that many German children and adults had followed Hitler led people to attribute this to Germany’s authoritarian home environment, which demanded unquestioning obedience. Thus their parents “conditioned” them for Hitler. (Dinwiddie 1995). Hoping to counteract such undesirable side-effects, they became permissive.

Permissive parents are nurturing, warm, and accepting. Their main concerns are to let children express their creativity and individuality and to make them happy (Neal 2000), in the belief that this will teach them right from wrong (Berger 2001). Permissive parents find it hard to set clear limits, provide structure, are inconsistent disciplinarians (Huxley 1998), and reward bad behavior regularly (Dworkin 1997). Children are not pushed to obey guidelines or standards that, even when they do exist, are not enforced (Barakat and Clark 1999).

Permissive parents take orders and instructions from their children, are passive, endow children with power (Gonzalez-Mena 1993; Garbarino and Abramowitz 1992), have low expectations, use minimal discipline, and do not feel responsible for how their children turn out.

Ironically, these children turn out to be the unhappiest of all (Neal 2000). They are more likely to exhibit such psychological problems as anxiety and depression (Steinberg 1996), are the second group (after authoritarian) most likely to commit violence (Steinberg et al. 1994), and engage in antisocial behavior (Simons, Lin, and Gordon 1998). Research links permissive parents with delinquency, substance abuse, and sexual activity (Snyder and Sickmund 2000; Jacobson and Crockett 2000].

In effect, parents teach their children that they can get their way by manipulating others: “Children learn a false sense of control over adults that increases their manipulative behavior” (Huxley 1998). Later on, they do poorly in school, have higher rates of misbehavior in areas involving adult authority, and “may also grow up manipulating around rules because those are not firm” (Thinking n.d.).

As they have not been taught how to control or discipline themselves, they are less likely to develop self-respect. This lack of discipline and structure engenders a desire for some type of control, and so they put “a lot of energy into controlling parents and trying to get parents to control them” (Gonzalez-Mena 1993, 157).

Their unmet psychological needs make them “vulnerable to being easily discouraged by everyday problems and turns the child away from full and satisfying participation in the world” (Garbarino and Abramowilz 1992, 42). This, in turn, hinders their social development, self-esteem, and positive self-concept. Without high expectations to realize, “children of permissive parents generally have difficulty controlling their impulses, are immature, and reluctant to accept responsibility” (Parenting n.d.).

Steinberg (1996) shows a strong correlation between permissive parenting and poor grades in families where parents are not involved in their children’s education and do not initiate a give-and-take relationship with their children. Other negative outcomes are sleep disturbances (Dworkin 1997) and feelings of insecurity.

Authoritative Parents

Authoritative parenting is high on warmth, moderate on discipline, high in communication, and moderate in expectations of maturity. This style is becoming more pervasive in the West. Authoritative parents are warm and nurturing, create a loving home environment, and provide a high degree of emotional support (Ingersoll 1989). Unlike permissive parents, they are firm, consistent, and fair (Barakat and Clark 1999).

Authoritative parents discipline through rational and issue-oriented strategies in order to promote their children’s autonomy while ensuring conformity to group standards (Marion 1999). They establish and enforce behavior standards (Glasgow et al. 1997) and stay in control. “Family rule is democratic [rather] than dictatorial” (Berger 2001, 283). Parents use reason, negotiation, and persuasion-not force-to gain their children’s cooperation (Marion 1999). Their listening-demanding ratio is roughly equal.

Children are given alternatives, encouraged to decide, and accept responsibility for their actions and decisions. The end result is self-empowerment (Barakat arid Clark 1999). When the children’s opinions are valued and respected, both children and parents benefit (Marion 1999; Gonzalez-Mena 1993).

Authoritative parents set developmentally appropriate limits and

standards for behavior. They make it clear that they will help their children. If their demands are not met, they are forgiving and understanding rather than punitive (Glasgow et al. 1997; Berger 2000). Overall, this parenting style is high on mutual understanding and based on reciprocity.

In fact, both parties benefit. Developmental opportunities are provided for children, as the quality of interaction and nurturance is high and expectations are realistic (Garbarino and Abramowilz 1992). In addition, such parents are more likely to encourage academic success (Glasgow et al. 1997), which has a positive correlation with good grades (Steinberg, 1996). This can be attributed to parental involvement in their children’s education and their use of open, give-and-take communication through family reading, writing, and discussions.

Research also shows that these children are less influenced by negative pefir pressure and develop successful peer relationships (Collins et al. 2000). As authoritative parenting provides a balance between control and independence, il produces competent, socially responsible, self-assured, and independent children (Gonzalez-Mena 1993). Children are more likely to develop high self-esteem, positive self-concept, greater self-worth, less rebellion, and generally are more successful in life.

Furthermore, they are the best adjusted of all children. According to Thinking (n.d), they ranked highest in self-respect, capacity to conform to authority, and greater interest in the parents’ faith in God. They also respect authority, are accountable, and control their impulses. Steinberg (1996) shows that they are more confident and responsible, less likely to use or abuse drugs or alcohol, and less likely to be involved in delinquency. These children also reported less anxiety and depression and the least amount of violence (Steinberg et al. 1994).

Conclusion

Western culture places great importance on planning for children and their upbringing. Hence, parents-to-be spend a great deal of time thinking about everything-from which brand of diapers to use to which college they want their child to attend. However, less importance is given to parenting style. Research has proven repeatedly that parenting styles have a “direct correlation with how children will grow up, how they live and whether they will abide by the rules in society” (Thinking n.d.). Therefore parents-to-be must analyze different parenting styles, their effects, and what works best for them and their child.

References

• Barakat, I. S. and J. A. Clark. “Positive Discipline and Child Guidance.” 1999. Online at: http://muextension.missouri.edu/xplor/hesguide/humanrel/ gh6119.htm [25.3.2000].
• Berger, K. S. The Developing Person throughout the Lifespan. 5th ed. New York: 2001.
• Collins, A. W. et al. “Contemporary Research on Parenting,” American Psychologist 55, no. 2 (2000): 218-32.
• Daniel, B., S. Wassell, and R. Gilligan. Child Development for Child Care and Protection Workers. London: 1999.
• Dinwiddie, S. “Setting Limits: Steering down the Rocky Road of Childrearing.” KidSource (Feb.l99S). Online at: www.kidsource.com/better.world.press/ setting. limits.html.
• Dworkin, P. “Permissive Parenting May Be Hurting Kids’ Sleep.” Science Daily Magazine (9 Oct. 1997). Online at: www.sciencedaily.com/releases/ 1997/10/971009063543.hlm.
• Garbarino, J., and R. Abramowitz. “Sociocultural Risk and Opportunity.” In Children and Families in the Social Environment. Ed. J. Garbarino. New York: 1992.
• Glasgow, K. L. et al. “Parenting Styles, Adolescents’ Attributions, and Educational Outcomes in Nine Heterogeneous High Schools.” Child Development 68, no. 3 (1997): 507-29.
• Gonzalez-Mena, J. The Child in the Family and the Community. New York: 1993.
• Gordon, T. Parent Effectiveness Training. New York: Plume, 1970.
• Huxley, R. “The Four Parenting Styles.” Parent-ingtoolbox (27 Sept. 1998), On line at: www.parent-ingtoolbox.com/pstyle1.html.
• Ingersoll, G. M. Adolescents. Englewood Cliffs: 1989.
• Jacobson, K. C., and L. J. Crockett. “Parental Monitoring and Adolescent Adjustment: An Ecological Perspective.” Journal of Research on Adolescence 10, no. 1 (2000): 65-97.
• Marion, M. Guidance of Young Children. 5th ed. Englewood Cliffs: 1999.
• Neal, K. Lecture at George Mason Univ. (16 Oct. 2000).
• “Parenting Styles/Children’s Temperaments; The Mutch.” Aboutourkids. Online at: www.aboutourkids.org/parenting/p_styles.html
• Scarr, S., R. Weinberg, and A. Levine. Understanding Development. Orlando: 1986.
• Simons, R. L., K. Lin, and L. C. Gordon. “Socialization in the Family of Origin and Male Dating Violence: A Prospective Study.” Journal of Marriage and the Family 60, no. 2 (1998): 467-78.
• Snyder, H. N., and M. Sickmund, “Challenging the Myths. 1999 National Report Series.” Juvenile Justice Bulletin. Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention (Feb. 2000). Online at: www. ncjrs.org/html/ojjdp/jjbul2000_02_2/contcnts.html [2000, May 25].
• Steinberg, L. Beyond the Classroom; Why School Reform Has Failed and What Parents Need To Do. New York: 1996.
• Steinberg, L. et al. “Over-time Changes in Adjustment and Competence among Adolescents from Authoritative, Authoritarian, Indulgent, and Neglectful Families.” Child Development 65, no. 3 (1994]: 754-70.
• Steinberg, L., and A. Levine. You and Your Adolescent: A Parent’s Guide for Ages 10-20. New York: 1997.
• “Thinking Smart about Parenting.” Online at: www.goodliving.virtualave.net

Emphasis on bodily perfection while neglecting moral and spiritual development is not a part of Islamic tradition. Equally, emphasis on spiritual training based upon contempt or denial of the bodily life is not a part of Islamic tradition. Islam is, in almost every respect, characterized by the quest for balance, harmony and unity of means and ends. Therefore, Islam is not a way of either denial or indulgence, but a way of discipline.

Discipline and orderliness with sufficient flexibility to allow for spontaneity of actions and feelings are the defining general characteristics of an Islamic upbringing. Children who do not grow up in an atmosphere of orderliness and self-control are unlikely, as adults, to meet their responsibilities in a consistently calm and dignified manner. Rather, they are likely to lead strained and miserable lives, however successful they may become in their working lives.

By way of illustrating Islamic upbringing, we shall focus discussion here on the familiar areas of eating and sleeping habits and the importance of cleanliness.

In general, if a family’s daily routines are steady and consistent, the children’s lives and characters will follow a similarly ordered pattern, both within the home and outside. If not, they will most probably be disorganized, lacking in will and concentration, and tend to fits of antisocial behaviour. Children imbibe orderliness and discipline from the adults immediately around them and develop strong character. If, on the other hand, they grow up in a confused, unstable haphazard atmosphere, they too will become confused and unstable, liable to aimlessness and depressions and all the unhappy consequences of these.

In practice, orderliness means that children know when they are expected home, and how their time is normally spent when they are at home and outside the home. They should learn as early as possible how to allocate their time between work and play so that what they have to do gets done in time and they enjoy their lives. They should learn how to make moral choices, how to co-operate within the family and with others outside the family. They should learn the importance of regular prayer and be helped to mature a taste for contemplation and devotion to God. They should be brought up to be, as full human beings are, both active and reflective. They should understand the importance of their own lives while learning, through good manners and awareness of the needs and feelings of others, the value of humility. 

Eating habits

The eating habits of a family should be based on sound dietary principles. This means having regular eating times, avoiding excess, choosing as far as practicable to eat in company (rather than alone) and sharing with others (rather than preferring oneself); avoiding those things that are harmful to the mind, the will and the body (for example, rushing food in a disrespectful manner); and it means cleanliness, both of the food consumed and the way it is consumed.

In this respect, to start eating again without fully digesting what has already been eaten, that is, eating randomly and always keeping the mouth busy and the stomach full, is injurious to the body and poisonous, even lethal, to the will. The Creator has expressed strong dislike of such manners. Any food eaten in the wrong way is harmful, but worst of all is to eat harmful food in a harmful way.

Prodigality or wasteful excess is an act of disrespect and ingratitude for the Creator’s infinite blessings. Those who over-indulge themselves puzzle and confound their appetite, or they drown in food without ever tasting contentment or satisfaction. Wastefulness is such an offence and so ruinous to the heart and soul that the individual will, eventually, be prepared to eat anything and everything, regardless of whether it is permitted or prohibited, whether he needs it or not, even of whether he likes it or not,

Sensible diet is a matter of discipline and awareness of the nutritional and social values of good manners. A family who can teach their children self-control in what and how they eat must be considered most fortunate, for they have laid the foundations for their children’s spiritual progress as well as of the health of their bodies. Children should therefore be taught the aims and principles of sensible diet so that they begin to choose good habits for themselves and not simply copy the habits to which they are exposed. If parents are unable to articulate or explain the importance of diet and nutrition, they should ask a competent and knowledgeable person to do so for them. 

Sleeping hours

To discipline sleeping habits is of as much importance as disciplining eating habits. We need to rest at particular times in order to stay healthy and have command of all our resources, physical, mental, emotional and psychological. The balance and stability of our personalities depends upon non-disruptive patterns of working and resting. The greater part of the day should be set aside for working and the night for rest and sleep. It is not reasonable to change this order. Trying to change it means risking tensions and conflict in social relationships, contradicting the natural rhythm of the universe and ruining one’s health.

It will be useful to mention a few principles for resting and sleeping hours which might be suitable for everyone.

1. The routines of family members should he co-ordinated with each other. If resting and sleeping hours are orderly, most of the work needed to maintain a happy family has been done. Disorderly sleeping habits affect eating times, they affect mood and temperament, and give rise to many insoluble difficulties and disputes.

2. Similarly, the lives of neighbours should correspond with each other. Otherwise we disrupt each other’s working and resting periods.

3. Particular times should be allocated to resting and working. Randomly changing resting and working hours will disrupt sleeping patterns, which, in turn, negatively affects both one’s rest and work.

4. Whatever injures sleep should be avoided. Sometimes a few cups of tea, sometimes a little food, sometimes boredom, may ruin a night and therefore the working day that follows it.

Cleanliness

It is commonly accepted that habits of cleanliness are passed from parents to children. Imitation is a vital part of human development-it must be so as human beings have so much that they need to learn quickly in order to take their place in adult life. Children will believe in the importance of cleanliness if they see it in their immediate environment, if they see the adults around them keeping themselves clean, and if cleanliness is stressed as something necessary and desirable. Conversely, if they see no effort to maintain tidiness and cleanliness, they will grow up negligent of their responsibility to be personally clean and to keep their immediate surroundings in order

The importance of cleanliness could hardly be more emphasized in a culture than it is in Islam. Worship in Islam is a commitment of the body as well as the mind and spirit. A part of the dignity of being a Muslim worshipper is to do a partial ablution (washing the normally exposed parts of the body) before each of the five obligatory prayers and a full ablution (or bath) at least once a week. In addition, it is strongly commended, almost obligatory, to wash one’s hands before and after meals, not to touch the mouth as soon as one wakes from sleep but only after washing them, to keep one’s hair and nails properly trimmed and clean, etc.

In sum: orderliness and discipline are not social devices to burden the individual and enforce a rigidly patterned conformity. Rather, they are the means to ensure the health of body and mind and will, the stability of the whole character, so that the individual acquires the grace and dignity of person which can only come from strength based upon self-control. The role of the family in equipping children for such dignity with and in their lives is decisive.