The morning had withheld its sunlight and left only a gray hue to open its doors when the man turned aside to his wife facing him, her Cantu-scented curls waving in his face. The sunlight compliments her already perfect face even though the gray brings gloom to others, but not him. The sounds of breakfast cooking brew an ambience that acts as lenses onto her beauty while her eyes secure her innocence. The appreciation of sunlight comes natural for those who don’t have it, but alternatives are the only option with no availability. As a result, he finds the sunlight captured in her beauty while her eyes take the picture.

“Want some eggs,” she asks, her words softly layered.

“With syrup please,” he replies as his words stick to his mouth.

Her response echoes through the whole house, her laughter bounces off the walls. Her eyes close when she laughs and he wonders what she sees. The sight she sees contains an expression of her love with him at the center of her photograph. In the meanwhile, a whole dictionary was consumed in the process of describing what she feels towards what she sees.

The day passes them by in a swirl of heartfelt emotions. A haze of old music lingers in the house as she takes two steps back while he takes two steps forward.

She asks, “Where did the day go?”                                                                                      

“With you in my arms,” he responds.

“Ha-Ha-Ha,” she says sarcastically.

Her laugh gets softer and softer as he feels the heat escape her body. Her eyes flash red not with pain but with a warning. “Low Battery! Charge Now!” but a recharge isn’t possible, at least not in an electrical sense. With this he holds her memory tightly, tighter than the grip of death itself. He carries her soul in his heart as he steps to the cellar. Her brown hair now twisted with curls, rooted in the insecurities of others. The door creaks open to deliver a gust of contempt for death and a sense of resurrection. Human sized tubes litter the wall. The same face stares back at him at least a dozen times, providing twelve instances of relief. A transaction is made with his heart and mind, and one of the tubes opens. He feels elated but the air still chills around him, and an aura steps out followed by a hand reaching for him.

The morning withholds its sunlight and leaves only the gray to open its doors when the man turns aside to his wife facing him, her strawberry scented hair waving in his face.

She was studying biology and was in love with the micro-cosmos.

“Why don’t you go to lab, then?” Alice asked. “It would be better if you stay there. At least we’ll know where to find you.”

Marylyn breathed and responded. “You know, there are three tiers of knowledge. One is while you sit in class. There, you just hear about cells, the plants, and various kinds of bacteria. When you are in lab, you see that the knowledge you know so far is just a narrative. But when I am in nature, even it is only one tree, I can live it. I can breathe in, breathe out, and each time my cells will appreciate me, my soul will feel refreshed. I wish I could breathe in all knowledge as such. I wish I could be more into their hidden world.”

“You know, I love hiking,” Sharon said. “I love seeing places that I have never been to. To get to know a tree I have never been introduced to before is a way of getting to know the wilderness friendship community. I try hard to have a meaning each time I walk on a new trail. There is that huge connection and circulation in nature. A drop of water that was once at Manhattan Beach can return back to the Bay Area as morning dew. A leaf that left the family tree in one fall can return to her wilderness society in the form of a new nutrient that serves birds or other animals in the form of a new plant. Scientists follow birds that travel for years, but we all travel around. That makes us a family. All are given to the service of humans at the end. Beauty is the thing that makes me think the most. Each snow crystal has a unique blueprint, though we cannot see that with our bare eyes. When an ocean wave pounds the shore, the way the drops of water scatter is very mathematical. You can measure it, and figure out a pattern. But does the water know this? Do flowers know how to calculate how to take off their petals, mathematically, every morning when they see the sun? If not, what kind of knowledge is it? As a human, am I the only one who can read this knowledge?

“If so, we are given both a big responsibility and a very deep honor. I cannot appreciate enough that duty and honor. But, my problem is it is not as easy to read or listen to the language of the universe as it is to read a book. But I imagine, if I could listen to that language, what would it feel like? I would have new friends each and every day from nature, friends who would have scientific names. But I know them beyond science. This is a knowledge of friendship. This is beyond just names; it is to be able to carry a conversation and be one of them.”

“You are funny,” Alberto said. “You should have studied philosophy.”

Karen was silent until that moment. “What you say about three layers of knowledge, reminded me of 3-D movies. It’s as if you would rather be in that movie. But I suppose we do not have a 4-D.”

“I agree,” continued Alice. “But I assume there is something in nature that tells you even though you are in the most beautiful place, it will not last long. Or you will not be able to penetrate into it. You are just an outsider. When you read a book, you can have a special imagined space for that book in your mind. Movies are different. Say, you read Great Expectations. Your characters and places are unique to you when you read it. No cinema can substitute the places and characters your imagination generates in your little world. So when you read, you enter into a secret world of your own. It is so secret that sometimes, even words or art cannot describe it. You travel to the tops of mountains, or to city centers – except those places only exist inside of you. And you can go to those places whenever you want to.

“Nature is like the words on the page of a book. The first layer of knowledge is to attain the ability to read. But when letters composed of leaves come together and form a word from a tree, and when you put trees together what does the sentence of the forest say to you? This is, again, a secret world. First it reads, then it tells, then it speaks, and I suppose at the zenith, it feels. When we go into the wilderness, the first impression is that feeling. Then we go backwards and try to see where it speaks, what it says, what it writes. At the zenith of that inner journey, we meet ourselves as a reader of nature. We are interlocutor, we are in a conversation that touches, that encompasses, but it is beyond the limits of even 4-D. We do not know how to describe it. Thus, we can only say that it feels.”

“Well, is it like me when I want to lie in one letter of a song?” Liam asked. “Or take that word as a jacket and wear it for days? Once we even discussed with my friends in philosophy club whether to initiate a group on wearing the sounds of words in our every day presence. A friend once made a presentation on how we talk out our inner self when we meditate and how that moment of meditation is indeed a replica of nature speaking in its own language. He brought pictures both from nature and from other traditions. He showed how sitting in silence is reminiscent of how trees with big, strong roots lay out on the earth. He showed how oceans and the earth prostrate, teaching us to be humble despite the fact that oceans and water compose 70% of the world and the rest is the soil. He showed us flowers that open their hands and arms to reach out beyond the sky and heavens. When we bow down, we intend to leave our carnal selves in the shape of an animal on four legs, he believed. In his presentation, nature spoke in the form of a human. But I do not know the reverse. Can humans decipher more than the symbolic language of nature? Can we delve in between the lines of the book of universe?”

‘This is a very sophisticated talk. I’m not sure I can add much to it,” Suzie said. “Yet, I see that this is also our daily lives. You know my friends in art school, we seek ways to make things speak in the language of art. I suppose one flower is an example of the highest level of sophistication in the artistic language. Humans can make that flower speak in zillions of languages. But art also feels. The regular words are just a tool to express the meaning. It is mostly a knowledge that is revealed in the forms of feeling. Is feeling also a type of knowledge?”

“Maybe, maybe not,” Evan responded. “My professor used to say that sometimes a great article begins with an unsatisfied feeling. You do research and find out that you were not satisfied because of an aspect you missed or that you were right and the literature dismissed one important point. Thus, we shall not underestimate feelings as a point of origin, but we have to dig deeper for the source of knowledge. Feelings are a trigger; the rest is all on the results of the analysis.”

“Well then,” Sharon said. “It is five minutes to my class. Hope to see you again afterwards?”

The Sufi way of poverty involves severing relationships with all that is other than the Eternally Besought-of-All, and depending only on Him to meet one’s needs. For this reason, the more detached one is from whatever is worldly and temporary and the more annihilated one is in depending on the Divine Attributes and Essence, the more one has attained poverty and can repeat the saying of the Prophet, upon him be peace and blessings: Poverty is my pride.^[1]

As stated in a blessed saying, when poverty becomes a dimension of faith and submission, one no longer depends on the help, will, and power of that which is not God. Even if such a person has enough wealth to fill the whole world, as the world is subject to decay and exhaustion, one does not depend upon it, but rather turns to God with all of one’s strength and feeling, conscious of his or her essential poverty and helplessness. How beautiful is the following couplet of Nabi, a seventeenth-century Ottoman poet:

Do not look on poverty with contempt, O Nabi!
Poverty is the mirror where independence of others is reflected.

Rumi made another fine observation about poverty:

Poverty is the essence and all else is form;
poverty is a remedy and all else the disease.
The whole world consists in vanity and conceit;
but poverty is the real core and meaning of existence.

Even if a person cannot discern his or her essential weakness and poverty with the light of belief, it is a reality that he or she is weak, poor, and needy. God Almighty declares: O humankind! You are all poor before God and in absolute need of Him, whereas He is the All-Wealthy and Self-Sufficient, the All-Praiseworthy (35:15). As absolutely everybody needs His act of choice, will, and decree to come into existence, His Self-Subsistent and All-Subsisting Existence is also needed at every moment to survive.

An individual’s poverty and neediness before the Almighty is not a means of humiliation; rather, one’s increased awareness of one’s poverty engenders higher degrees of dignity, for such awareness before the Absolutely Wealthy One is richness itself.

The believer becomes aware of his or her non-dependence on others, and acquires the consciousness of independence to the extent that one feels in his or her conscience that God is the sole source of power and wealth. His help is sought, and it is therefore to Him that one turns. Even if such a person is materially poor, he or she feels no need for anything or anyone else.

The believer is convinced that whatever or whoever exists, including himself or herself, essentially belongs to the Almighty, for all elements of creation are only shadows of the shadow of His absolutely independent Existence. This degree of conviction of God’s Unity is called annihilation in God, two steps ahead of which is subsistence with God. Concerning this, Hayali, another Ottoman poet of the seventeenth-century, says:

Hayali, cover your naked body with the shawl of poverty;
This is their pride, they know not of satin or silk.

Poverty is the goal of saints, the (natural) state of purified scholars, and the most manifest sign of love of God. The Almighty has placed poverty in the hearts of His friends so that those hearts may prosper through it. Poverty is a key of light to open the eye of the heart to the inexhaustible treasuries of God. One who has this key is the richest person in the world, for poverty is the door to richness. Those who pass through this door reach in their conscience the infinite treasuries of the Owner of all property and discover that poverty is identical with the real richness. For this reason we can say, as Junayd al-Baghdadi did:

Richness is no more than the final, perfect degree of poverty.^[2]

When one is perfectly conscious of one’s essential poverty before God and one’s absolute dependence on Him, one is absolutely rich, for such a person no longer feels any need. This is what must be meant by the famous saying: The real richness is the richness of the heart. When one has attained this degree of richness, it is as if he or she has found a credit card that is valid everywhere. One who has such mysterious capital can be considered neither poor nor powerless. This is what is described in the following lines:

His is power, by which we are powerful.
We are well-known by His Name or fame.
We go beyond peaks and continue our way;
we overcome all difficulties with ease.
We possess nothing worldly, but are absolutely rich,
and are dignified and respectable with His Dignity.
We follow the way of reflection, so
whatever exists is a source of the knowledge of God for us.^[3]

^[1] al-‘Ajluni, Kashfu’l-Khafa’, 2:87.

^[2] al-Qushayri, ar-Risala, 273.

^[3] M. Fethullah Gülen, Kırık Mızrap (Broken Plectrum), 38–39.

Fear and hope or expectation are deliberate attitudes, and are a first station for a traveler on the way to God. Contraction and openness are mysterious “bargains” that have been made without the will or intention of the traveler. The first one blocks his or her way; the second one gives him or her wings to fly to the heights. If fear and hope represent anxiety about and the joy of expectations for the future, as well as liked and disliked things, contraction and openness can be regarded as the heart’s contracting with gloom and depression and expanding with joy.

Contraction and openness have the same meaning for travelers on the slopes of knowledge of God as do fear and hope or expectation for the newly initiated. Both are in the hands of God, even if we cannot exclude from them part of one’s free will: God contracts and expands (2:245). As the whole of existence is in His grasp and at His free disposal, it is He Who directs and disposes of all things, from the heavens to the human heart. The Prophetic saying: The heart is between the two ‘Fingers’ of the All-Merciful; He turns it from state to state and gives it whatever form He wills reminds us of this fact. When God wills, He contracts a heart so tightly that only He can provide what will satisfy it. By contrast, He expands and exhilarates it to such an extent that it needs nothing. Contraction is caused by God’s Majesty; openness is caused by His Grace. While the Grandeur and Magnificence relating to the manifestation by God of His Names on the whole of existence are displayed in the former, Mercy and Condescension are manifested in the latter. In the former, there is the frightening, awesome, and majestic nature of the Power that turns all existence from huge systems into particles, while in the latter there are affectionate breezes for those spirits trembling in awe at this infinitely vast, overwhelming Power, this overpowering Majesty.

Not everyone can feel such manifestations of Majesty and Grace at the same level, for the extent of contraction and openness is proportionate to one’s emotional and spiritual capacity. What an ordinary person feels as distress and relief or rejoicing differs markedly from the spiritual joy and anxiety experienced by one awakened to the Divine truths, one who is ever-alert for what will come through the half-opened door from the realms beyond, and who is conscious of God’s continuous and direct supervision.

Like every element of existence, contraction and openness are at the disposal of the Creator, Who alternates them continuously, like night and day. Even if this alternation appears to originate in the deeds performed in accordance with one’s free will, the Divine Will extends or shortens the periods of contraction and openness, and causes one to be consumed with tension or to overflow with delight. Sometimes a lover experiences openness for a long time, feeling as if flying like a bird, without being touched by any form of contraction; other times, contraction is a constant companion that stays so long that the lover feels that he or she is going from one hardship to another (and greater) hardship.

As neglecting the requirements of one’s spiritual position bestowed by God causes contraction, sins usually come together with contraction. For this reason, a believer must always be alert against committing new sins and deviations while suffering contraction, must not be overpowered by heedlessness, and must strive for self-purification through sincere repentance and the performance of good deeds. Then, the believer must wait for what will come from the realms beyond. While contraction is accompanied by fear, perplexity, and feelings of spiritual emptiness, openness manifests itself as joy, rapture, and feelings or utterances of pride. For this reason, openness may be risky for those spiritually less-developed people who have not yet attuned themselves to journeying in “celestial” realms.

Although there are risks associated with contraction, those associated with openness are greater and more numerous. One caught in contraction usually feels in his or her conscience an absolute need of the Almighty, and so turns to Him in sincere acknowledgment of this neediness with the words: Hold me! Hold me, lest I should fall! and, escaping the spiritual waste he or she feels, is favored with the Almighty’s help and reaches those heights that are beyond reach during times of openness.

This is why some people are exposed to heedlessness and loss of spiritual energy during times of openness, and why contraction leads almost every believer to new levels of alertness. In addition, the contraction originating from our sins or neglect usually signals the beginning of a new wave of openness; similarly, an expansion that causes pride and loss of spiritual energy may give rise to a new contraction.

A true believer is one who can judge each state experienced or achieved as it really is, with all of its aspects, and make it fruitful.

Contraction and openness are manifestations from Him for one who knows.
He causes openness so that the servant will thank Him,
and causes contraction so that the servant may become more alert.

O God! Open our breasts for Islam and establish our hearts
on belief. And bestow blessing and peace on our master
Muhammad, and on his Family and Companions, great and illustrious.

Literally meaning strong desire, excessive yearning, joy issuing from knowing, delight, and longing, shawq (joyful zeal) is used by Sufis to express the heart’s overwhelming desire to meet with the Beloved, Who cannot be comprehended and “vanishes” after being “observed.” Some have described this as joyful desire, excitement, and a lover’s excessive heartfelt longing to see the Face of the Beloved. Others have regarded it as a fire that reduces to ashes all desires, wishes, yearnings, and inclinations other than the love for and inclination toward the Beloved.

Joyful zeal originates in love. The remedy of a heart burning with such a longing to meet with the Beloved is meeting with Him, and shawq is the wing of light that carries the lover to this meeting. Zeal disappears when a lover finds the Beloved, while the yearning for Him (ishtiyaq) continues to increase. One who yearns for Him never stops yearning and, whenever favored with a special manifestation of His Essence, wishes for more. This is why the prince of the Prophets and the greatest of humanity, upon him be peace and blessings, who, equipped at each moment with a new radiance of knowledge, love of God, and spiritual delight, incessantly traveled between the summits of love, joyful zeal, and yearning, and used to pray: O God! I ask You for zeal to observe Your perfectly beautiful “Face” and to meet with You.

Some interpreters of the Qur’an, when writing about: Those who believe are firmer in love of God (2:265) remark that joyful zeal is felt toward things that are partly perceivable and partly unperceivable, partly comprehensible and partly incomprehensible. One feels no zeal toward that which he or she has never seen or heard of, or about which he or she knows nothing. Nor does he or she feel interest in that which he or she completely comprehends or perceives.

Zeal and yearning can be divided into two categories. The first is the yearning produced by separation from the Beloved after meeting with and gazing upon Him in the past eternity. The sighs uttered by the flute of Rumi, and the creaking, painful sounds heard by Yunus Emre from the revolving water-wheel express such a separation. These sighs will continue until the final union or meeting with Him. The second category is when a lover sees the Beloved from behind a veil, and thus cannot completely comprehend Him. The believer feels His presence, but cannot see Him; he or she dips a finger into the honey of love but is not allowed to take a further step. Consumed with thirst, the believer cries: I am being consumed with thirst! Give me some water! but receives no answer.

The spirit of all men and women observed Him in an assembly of past eternity, where God asked them: Am I not your Lord? and they answered: Yes, assuredly. We testify! After this assembly, either because humanity’s very humanness required it or because humanity had to be tested, to believe in Him without seeing Him, humanity was thrown into the pangs of temporary separation. This is why people always dream of Him in a conscious or unconscious longing for Him, and burn with a yearning to re-unite with Him. What is more significant than this is the yearning which the All-Sacred Being has toward pure, innocent, and unadulterated souls, but only in a way that is appropriate for His essential independence of all being. This Divine eagerness may be the real source of the yearning that enters one’s heart.

Zeal means turning to the Beloved with all inner and outer feelings, and locking out all appetites other than those one feels to meet with Him. In the context of yearning, it means one is overflowing with desires and wishes related to Him. Both zeal and yearning feed the spirit. Both are painful but exhilarating, and distressing but promising.

No individual experiences more anguish, nor is none happier, than the one who burns with love and groans with zeal. Such people become so spiritualized when enraptured with the thought and hope of meeting with God that they would not agree to enter Paradise at that moment, even if allowed to do so. They burn inwardly with the pangs of separation to such a degree that even the waters of Paradise cannot extinguish the fire in their hearts. Only meeting with the Friend can extinguish such a fire. Paradoxically, they never think of escaping that fire, for even if they were offered the sanctuary of the palaces of Paradise to prevent them from burning with the fire of zeal to meet with the Friend, such people would scream out like the inhabitants of Hell who seek to be rescued from Hellfire.

Worldly people cannot know what that zeal means or the state of those who possess it, while people of zeal are amazed at worldly people, so engrossed in their worldly affairs and pleasures.

Their amazement is quite natural, for God Almighty told Prophet David, upon him be peace:

O David! If those who love and show inclination to the world knew how much I care about them, want them to resist against sins, and how I expect to meet with human beings, they would be dying with the zeal to meet with Me.

When the zeal to meet with God invades a lover’s being, the result is an overflow of feelings of pain and delight and cries of:

Zeal has bewildered me, zeal has burnt me.
Zeal has intervened between sleep and my eyes.
Zeal has invaded me, zeal has engrossed me.
Zeal has overwhelmed me, zeal has stricken me with awe.

This degree of zeal sometimes incites the lover to stand up and dance or spin. The lover should be excused for such movements, as he or she cannot resist such a spiritual state:

Say to him who wants to prevent a man of ecstasies from going into ecstasies:

You have not tasted the wine of love together with us, so leave us.
When souls overflow with the zeal to meet with the Beloved,
know, O you unaware of spirituality, that bodies begin to dance.
O guide who incites lovers, stand up and move us
with the name of the Beloved, and breathe life into us.

In our own day, some prefer to serve the Qur’an and faith by the way based on acknowledging one’s poverty or destitution and impotence or helplessness before God’s Wealth and Power, and on thankfulness and zeal. In this context, zeal means constant hope and continuing to serve without becoming dispirited or losing one’s energy. It also means seeking an aspect of Divine mercy even in the most distressing conditions, and then relying upon Him alone for His help and victory.

O God! I ask You for zeal and yearning to meet with You, and bestow blessing and peace on our master Muhammad, the master of those full of this zeal and yearning.

where he flounders a whole lifetime among waves of anxiety.

At every step and every station, he expects a dawn of hope to break;

Morning begins with pains, evening comes with the hopes of union.

Over and again, winds of mortality blow and are biting cold;

Lamentations as if from rejected orphans are heard everywhere.

By and by, arising from deep within his own conscience come

heavenly sounds laden with meaning and mystery.

A time comes when, like overflowing waves, he overflows

with longing to touch eternity and sails as far as the shore.

But he is stopped there, unable to move as if held in chains.

He brims over with zeal but remains in his narrow pool.

Confined within the walls of matter, man feels imprisoned

though knowing the horizons of being are of infinite breadth.

He always lives autumn in the corners of his heart

and travels through the dark pits of despair lamenting.

Those with hearts set on eternity live a honeymoon every night,

rapturous and joyful with the pleasure of endless spectacles

Observing existence with the profound intuition of their hearts,

they welcome there the music from the higher worlds beyond.

Dressed in shirts of flame, with roses between their lips,

even in the cruelest storms of the most painful days,

their spirits receive fresh life from the ardour of their hearts

and the profound contentment their conviction brings.

Every day man is washed in that ocean of purification,

and feels Him as deeply as angels, and at times

when he is utterly alone, he feels His care and nearness,

and tastes the delight of love and intimacy with Him.