Question: While sayings of Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, counsel against condemning believers to shame, despising them, and disclosing their faults, they also enjoin not remaining silent and unresponsive before oppression and evil. How is a believer supposed to achieve this balance?

In our previous issue we commented on not subjecting people to shame or scorn, as well as the importance of forgiving their faults. It is important to stress that we do not believe that it is acceptable to remain silent and passive when confronted with mistakes and wrongdoing, and to not take any action against them. “Commending good and preventing evil” is an important responsibility for believers if we take into account the following verse “You are the best community ever brought forth for (the good of) mankind, enjoining and promoting what is right and good and forbidding and trying to prevent evil, and (this you do because) you believe in God” (Al Imran 3/110), it is seen that being a part of the best community, or the one with the most goodness, is dependent upon this fact. Additionally, the noble Prophet ordered a present evil to be eliminated by direct intervention, and if this was not possible then by making verbal warnings, and if this was not possible either then by taking an attitude against it in one’s heart at least (Muslim, Iman 78; Tirmidhi, Fitan 11).

Trying to stop people from committing evil and enjoining them to engage in good behavior is one of the essential attributes of a believer. However, the method, style, and system to be followed in this respect are very important. Such an act cannot be done by embarrassing people and making them turn their faces away in shame. This will make matters worse, particularly so when certain matters rejected in religion such as lying, slander, and libel are also involved in the issue. What really matters here is making hearts genuinely feel the goodness of what is stated as good, and the darkness of what is stated as bad; namely, convincing people that the acts in question are good or bad (respectively), and making them re-orient themselves accordingly. Otherwise, without taking the other person’s condition into consideration, determining the correct manner, or thinking about which method to follow, an unwise approach such as “I say and tell what I believe and do not care about any other factors” has nothing to do with the religious teaching of “commending good and preventing evil.”

If we view the life of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), we find many examples of the points mentioned. For example, he counseled repentance to his companion Maiz who had committed fornication when he came to him and confessed his sin, saying that there is no sin God will not forgive. Although he turned Maiz down four times, the noble Prophet had to enforce the legal ruling upon the insistence of Maiz. However, he told people to ask for forgiveness for Maiz and pointed out that he had repented in such a way that if his repentance were to be distributed to the all people throughout the earth then it would suffice to purify everyone (Muslim, Hudud 22; Abu Dawud, Hudud, 24, 25). Thus, the Pride of Humanity prevented his community from continuing to hold a negative opinion about Maiz, for he wished Maiz to be remembered not as a sinner but as a person who was absolved from his sin and who had passed onto God’s divine presence in a purified state.

The noble Prophet neither put anybody to shame nor embarrassed anybody by mentioning their fault to them throughout his exemplary life. It is not possible to find examples in his life where he revealed people’s faults, treating fallen ones with contempt, or responded to evil with evil. On the contrary, he urged believers not to spy into others’ private issues. He always counseled covering faults and his entire life was permeated with forgiveness and tolerance. He made the following address to the people of Mecca, who had inflicted every kind of torment and suffering onto him, after him and his community peacefully took over the city: “No reproach this day shall be on you. Go now, all of you are free.” This mildness and magnanimity of his was one of the most important factors that conquered hearts and got people to enter Islam in droves.

If he had noticed a shortcoming of one of his Companions, he would never reveal it in an embarrassing way. He addressed such shortcomings during his public sermons without pointing the finger at that person, and he ensured that the person concerned also received a share from the teaching. Even in situations of meeting serious opposition where some were in a mood of disobedience, he would gather his Companions to make a general sermon that would not incriminate any one person. Hence, problems were solved without hurting and breaking the heart of anyone, without disgracing them, and without letting any grudge and rage be involved in the issue.

In this regard, it is very important, particularly for people who are at the forefront of dialogue and discourse with others, to undertake certain responsibilities. It is critical to know the people in your company and to not remain indifferent to their mistakes. A teacher must know the general situation of their students; in fact, it is an important aspect of their duty and responsibility. Their goals should be to treat everybody humanely, not to break anyone’s heart, and to try to eliminate evil in the most appropriate way. In other words, while eliminating evils as well, a believer is supposed to act in a way that reflects this character while remaining loyal to the path of the Prophet.

A manner appropriate for each person in question needs to be determined for the sake of not breaking anyone’s heart and not letting any problems escalate further, and each case should be taken into consideration separately as no two people are ever truly identical. Instead of giving an immediate reaction when faced with problems, and talking about them here and there, we must definitely mull over the subject and try to find the most appropriate solution. If you deal with matters in a crude and careless fashion and are as blunt as a kick in the shins, then you may risk hurting people and pushing them away from you. It should not be forgotten that the task of spiritual counsel and guidance requires expertise and sensibility. In a way, we can view it as a task that is best carried out by qualified and learned people.

It should also be known that problems may not always be sorted out by talking. In some situations, speaking over some problems might cause the crisis to get worse. As the saying goes, “a believer’s speaking should be wisdom and their silence should be reflection.” We should speak if we are to say words of wisdom. If this is not the case then we should keep silent and wait for the appropriate time. There are certain conditions where one needs to stop and think, for wisdom develops in the seedbed of deliberation. Otherwise, the blurting out of casual remarks will only produce noise. Just as we know the appropriate time to talk, we similarly need to know when to show patience and wait.

Self-interrogation

In one of his sayings, the noble Prophet stated that every child of Adam errs but the best of those who err are those who repent (Tirmidhi, Qiyamah, 49; Ibn Majah, Zuhd 30) and thus pointed out that human nature is prone to mistakes and sins. Accordingly, some give their willpower its due and narrow down this gap or totally eliminate it, whereas some do not succeed sufficiently in this respect. What matters here is that after experiencing a spiritual stumble, or perhaps even a fall, we work to straighten ourselves up right away and be purified in the washbasin of repentance.

Yes, everyone can fall. However, immediately walking out on, speaking negatively about, and putting to shame a person who is undergoing a spiritual relapse never comply with the virtuous conduct expected in religion nor with the path of the noble Prophet. Instead of busying ourselves with others’ faults we should be concerned with noticing our own faults and busying ourselves with setting those aright because those who cannot see their own mistakes keep looking for faults in others. A person who is fully concentrated on perfecting themself will be much less focused with the faults of others.

Before throwing a stone at someone, we need to take a look at ourselves first. And if we also have similar faults, then we should fear that such a stone may recoil and hit our own head. It is narrated that our master Messiah said the following in an address to a crowd preparing to stone someone to death for punishment: “Let one who is without sin among you throw the first stone…” Naturally, everybody gently lowered the stones in their hands to the ground.

The fact that people do not care about such matters at all and speak about others’ faults and sins in public does not serve as an excuse for us to behave in a similar manner. Even if the entire world engages in such sinful behavior it still does not justify joining them. As it is expressed in a Turkish proverb, “every sheep is hung from its own leg.” Asserting excuses such as “everybody was talking in this manner and I just followed their way” has no validity whatsoever on the Day of Judgment. As it is stated in the verse meaning, “And no soul, as bearer of burden, bears (and is made to bear) the burden of another” (Fatir 35:18) everybody remains alone with the burden of his or her own sins. And if someone defame others with spoken or written statements, that person will also be burdened with the sins caused by those statements, along with other personal sins.

Rather than being crushed under the weight of such sins in the Afterlife, taking our tongue under control while we can in this world and thus not giving way to such very hard to repair problems from the beginning is the wisest way. A person needs to also be careful about the feelings and thoughts that they may hold about other believers in the first place and should work to keep them pure, for what pours from the tongue are simply our thoughts. A person who is focused on the mistakes of others and continually mulls over them in their mind will firstly speak within about these with the inner voice, and then spill them out to others.

A person who is continually busy with others’ faults and speaks about these will definitely deserve punishment in the Hereafter on account of sins such as spying into others’ private affairs, holding negative assumptions, backbiting, and lashing out with insults. It is not possible for such a person to find comfort in this world as well. For a person who pollutes his or her brain neurons with what others did and who keeps talking about these filthy issues all the time, all of those things will turn into a torment.

Think of yourself as a desert ant. You leave your nest to search for food early in the morning in the deserts of Tunisia, except you do not know where to find food. You, therefore, walk randomly in the desert in a circuitous outward path from your nest until you find food. If you would find food, how do you get it back to your home? How do you go back without having left for yourself any traces or signs in the wasteland, without knowing where you located, and most importantly, without ending up stranded in the scorching heat of the desert? Could you accomplish coming back each day with food? Well, desert ants can.

To find out how ants can do this, scientists observed their behavior, and surprisingly they have found that ants did not follow back on the same trail they randomly took after they left their nests. Instead, ants took a direct route as if they already knew where the nest exactly located. How do these ants find the closest way and shortest distance to their nest from their current locations? Former studies had found that red and forest ants secrete a chemical substance to mark their paths. They leave a trail of chemical scents or visual traces behind them—like leaving a trail of breadcrumbs to help you find your way home. However, the structure of desert sands and conditions are not consonant with containing chemicals that will carry an odor or leave visual cues. Even if such markings have made, it is hard to guarantee that they will remain intact long enough considering the harsh conditions of the desert. As in Hansel and Gretel fairy tale kids who could not return home for the breadcrumbs they had left on the trail eaten by birds. Therefore, these desert ants must be equipped with another cognitive mechanism so that they can return to their nests before succumbing to the midday heat.  

Black desert ants (Cataglyphis fortis) emerge from their nests in the heat of desert sand, which rises to 70 degrees with the rise of the morning sun, to search for the remains of other insects that were not as heat resistant as they are. They can only survive for one hour on the hot sand and under the blazing sun, which means that within an hour, they must find their food and bring it back home without getting lost. The journey is quite arduous and dangerous each day. If the slightest confusion occurs and they are not able to return to their nest in time, then it could cost them their lives.

Scientists conducted a series of research in the scorching deserts of Tunisia to find out how desert ants take their food to their nests in the shortest route possible. Researchers first determined an anthill and plotted the terrain around it to set up a coordinate plane. They observed that the ants left their nests very early in the morning to begin their daily search for food, and many of them eventually found grubs that had been planted by the scientists. However, researchers moved the ants to locations that they had not previously been to after the ant began carrying the food back to their nests. The attempt was to understand whether there was a “sign placement system” within the ants. This system would encourage the ant to find its last known location, in this instance where it had picked up, then find its way back home. However, the ant instead began heading directly to its nest. It was as if the ant determined its position concerning its nest and set off for it immediately. This experiment was repeated on many ants numerous times and with the same consistent results. The ants, as soon as they had placed on the ground, moved to the nest relative to there. With a wondrous intrinsic coding of some neurons in their nervous systems, they traveled the distance between their new location and the nest in the shortest way possible. In addition to this, the margin of error was very nominal; they found their nests with a ten percent error in the average distance of 500-meters and with an error of only two degrees in angle. Additionally, a fascinating discovery revealed that the ants could calculate errors in their navigation systems. As they approach their destination, they would make adjustments if they need to by moving back and forth in parallel lines to reach the nest with minimum error.

Scientists determined that desert ants have about a thousand lenses in their compound eyes (remember that a human eye has only one lens) and 80 lenses in each of their eyes that can detect polarized light that comes from different points in the sky. Polarized light occurs when sunlight enters the atmosphere of Earth, hits air molecules and other particles, and then scatters in all directions. This dispersion leads to polarization, and the light that starts to vibrate in many planes begins to vibrate in only one plane. Therefore, the strongest of them is a distinct polarization that always makes a 90-degree angle towards the sun. The lens system in the eyes of desert ants uses this polarization to form a kind of Sky Map. These ants will occasionally stop and robotically move their heads while returning to their nest. This brief period allows the ants to make this sky map by surveying the sky and making a mental note of its layout. Researchers believe that ants can then calculate the direction that they need to travel to return to their nest. They repeat this movement along the way to continually update their sky maps. If they cannot find their home, then they utilize a patterned search method with a set of circular motions. It means that each ant knows how far it is from their nest at every point of their journey.

Then, how do ants find their direction to the nest? Perhaps they were guided by the position of the sun in the sky is. To test this hypothesis, researchers placed a set of mirrors to make ants perceive the sun in a different state than where it ordinarily would be. It observed that the ants changed their directions according to the new state of the sun. However, this finding raised another question; researchers wondered how the time of day would affect the ants since the sun moves across the sky during the day. However, this finding raised another question; researchers wondered how the time of day would affect the ants since the sun moves across the sky during the day.

In another part of the experiment, the researchers caught the ants after they found the bait, closed a box over them, and kept them inside the box for several hours so that they could not see the sun and its movements. It expected that the ants would have trouble finding their way back after they were released since a long time had passed, and the sun was in a drastically different position in the sky. However, they once again returned home by using the shortest distance possible. It understood that the desert ants were aware that time was passing even though they could not see the sun.

We now understand that ants determine their direction home by using the sun, but we still do not know how they figure out the distance they must travel to return to their nest. Researchers have developed three hypotheses to explore this phenomenon. The first hypothesis was the energy hypothesis. According to this hypothesis, the ants were able to know how much energy they needed on the way back by calculating it they had spent until they reached their food. The depletion of their energy meant the end of their journey. An ant loaded with extra weights to test this hypothesis as soon as it reached its food. The scientists thought that if their body weight increased, then they would not be able to strike reach the nest since they would spend more energy on the return trip. However, in this case, it did not affect the ants, and they returned home in the shortest way possible regardless of their weight.

The second hypothesis was the optical-flow hypothesis. In this hypothesis, it believed that the ants had visual memory, and this was how they remembered the way back. To prove this, scientists prevented the ants from seeing their surroundings by blindfolding the ants when they found their food source. However, the blindfold did not prevent the ants from obtaining the shortest distance back home. As a follow-up to this experiment, the researchers placed an extensive television screen in front of the ants showing an endless desert on the television screen to make the ants feel as if they had crossed the entire desert in this simulation. They used various types of simulations, but the result did not change; the ants found their way.

The last test involved the pedometer hypothesis. It surmised that ants could be counting their steps to determine how far they had traveled. To test whether they were doing so, researchers attached stilts made of hair strands to the legs of one group of ants after they found the food. As their legs now extended, they could move with longer scale steps. Another group of ants had their legs cut below the knee, thus shortened to increase the number of steps needed to walk the required distance back. They then observed the return journey of both groups of ants. The results were astounding; the ants with shorter legs had concluded their course before reaching the nest, while the ants with longer legs ended up passing the nest. Thus, it understood that the ants counted their steps according to the distance they traveled.

The findings reveal that the ants are created with an internal system that keeps track of the steps they take and re-calibrates itself on the way back. People make these complex calculations with measuring instruments and by knowing the laws of trigonometry. However, these small creatures find their way directly back without using any tools or computer applications. They do not use their perception to find direction, and they do not use any other directional methods because they all remember direction and distance as they move forward. If you look at this situation, what would be your simplest explanation? You can only have one definition: These little creatures can measure distances and angles precisely by applying mathematical calculations and trigonometry within their conditions. Since the first day of their existence, these creatures show only a few of the shreds of evidence of the divine power created them out of nothing with wondrous systems and superior abilities in their bodies.

I have put my trust in God, my Lord, and your Lord. No living creature is there, but He holds it by its forelock and keeps it under His complete control. Undoubtedly, my Lord is on a straight path (He governs all that exists and carries out His decrees rightly and with absolute justice). (Surah Hud, 56)

The worst thing about cancer they don’t tell you?

The aftermath. The shock waves.

It’s surviving the quick earthquake, only to find yourself dodging falling objects and electrical lines for the next few days.

What they failed to mention was that fighting cancer was the easy part.

The real battle was learning to live again.

I got the news of my cancer diagnosis as a young mother, and after we had moved to a new city with no close friends or family. The kids were 3, 6, 11, and 13. Summer break had just begun, and to make things worse, I could not drive. We were in the wilderness and were fighting for our lives.

We went into “survival mode,” literally and figuratively, and assigned each older child to a smaller child with the plan and knowledge that we could survive if each of the “bigs” both did a load of laundry and dishes a day. At one point, I had a goal to drop off the kids at school, so I could get three uninterrupted hours of sleep after my chemo treatment. I had finally dropped off the children at their three different schools, and my head had barely hit the pillow, when I received a phone call from the school.

“Mrs. Estes? You need to come pick up your children. They all have lice!”

Trials, temptations, disease, and now pestilence were hitting our household simultaneously. I remember thinking, “At least I can’t get it since my hair is gone,” and then laughed at the absurdity that we were so low that my “silver lining statement” included the phrase “Praise the Lord I’m bald.”

But that was not the hardest part. Not by a long shot.

The hardest part was after the storm, when the casseroles stopped coming and prayers had grown weary. The hardest part of fighting a deadly battle comes afterwards when the dust has settled and the gunsmoke has cleared and you find yourself standing in total rubble and destruction.

I shouldn’t say total. We had our health and were still married. Most do not escape with that, I learned. But we both were battered and bloodied. I had a visual representation come to mind of an old battleship slowly pulling into port – disfigured and worn, riddled with bullet holes and laden with shrapnel. We were afloat, but barely.

I awoke from my six-month drunken chemo state to find my life in ruins. While the “bigs” had done a wonderful job helping with the “littles,” there were still unmet needs and unspoken questions that the youngest mind’s lips couldn’t form, which resulted in one regressing into wetting his pants again in first grade and the other becoming a hair’s breath away from becoming non-verbal, screaming “Aaaaaa!” fifty times a day. All of this in addition to the “regular” stresses of having four children about to enter high school, middle school, kindergarten and first grade – and not to mention the emotional withdrawal that naturally comes in a marriage during crisis times and having a son with extreme learning disabilities.

At one point, I was finally able to lift my leg again, and I was able to climb the stairs to our second story – after a year. When I entered the playroom, the scene rivaled the ruins of a never-ending frat party, with beer bottles exchanged for sippy cups and ankle-deep trash covering the floor. It was a sign of what the kids had silently felt during our ordeal, and it served as a visual symbol of my life: ruined and messy.

In World War II, my grandfather was part of the company that liberated prisoner of war camps. At one point, he asked one of the prisoners what the difference was between those that made it out and those that did not.

“The ones that made it found something to look forward to – they had a goal,” he replied.

I took that advice and decided that when all the chemo and radiation was over, I would celebrate with the other cancer fighters I’d met while walking through the fire.

None of them made it. It was heartbreaking.

I “made do” by celebrating with all the friends and family who had prayed and supported us through the journey, but the weight was still felt. In addition to feeling thankful, I also shouldered the burden of false guilt from having survived when my other comrades had fought just as hard, sometimes harder. Soldier syndrome had come home to roost.

So, what do you do when you get through the war only to (symbolically) return to your home to find the farm overrun with thorns and that your wife has run off?

You start from scratch. And you begin with baby steps.

God was gracious, providing me with advice from an “older brother” in the church just when I needed it. He himself had come out of a near death, eight-day coma experience. He emerged paralyzed on one side, but no one would ever guess it today. The first thing he advised when I called him in tears was, “small goals, baby steps, little sister!”

When coming through tragedy, we want our life to be like it was “before,” but the “after” contains components the “before” never had. It is an “apples to oranges” comparison and is unfair to expect them to be the same. Life “after cancer” contains side effects such as “less energy” and “Chemo Brain” that affect what and how much can be done for a while. Just as I couldn’t expect to instantly run three miles again, nor should I have expected to jump instantly back into life, either. The girl who used to pay all the bills, pop dinner into the oven, and get all four kids ready for school before breakfast was now merely able to pay the bills by the end of the day. But that was okay, because that was enough.

Second piece of advice: good enough is good enough. Lower your expectations. Gone were the days of thinking “everything has a place, and everything should be in its place.” Life was still, even now, about survival. Gone were the days of a pristine home ready for entertainment at a moment’s notice; the day of “push aside the mess and have a seat” had come. And that is okay. Because, again, you are now living in a different reality. The good news? There is no fairy that is going to come grade you on how tidy or organized your home is. Your home is there to serve you, not the other way around. Feel free to live as such.

In addition, it is imperative to “accept the new reality” and “don’t look back.” At one point in the recovery process, I placed blinder goggles and a bottle of salt beside my bed to remind myself, “Don’t look back, lest you turn to a pillar of salt!” (like Lot’s wife). I was amazed at how many Bible verses there actually were with the theme of “pressing on” and “not looking back.” The message was clear: the past is the past, and the present is the present. Make sure to live in the right one. Thinking back to how things used to be and trying to make your world look now like it did back then is a guaranteed, instant trip to Insanity Land. Accept that now will not look like then, nor is it supposed to. Celebrate every “new” baby step and make recovery a big ol’ party!

One of the hardest pieces of advice to follow is: try to humble yourself. As a natural giver, this concept was the most difficult for me until a friend helped me realize that life is not all about me, and if I do not ask for help, then I am literally robbing givers of the chance to use their spiritual gift to give. Ecclesiastes makes it clear that life is divided into seasons, and this is perhaps your season to be a receiver. Accept it as you would a blessing for it will bless others as they minister to you.

A final word of advice on the journey of learning to live again: have a creative outlet and take time to feed your soul. Anything from songwriting, to painting, to simply coloring will help balm your weary mind as you learn to do things anew again. For me, I finally completed my novel, began songwriting, and never missed a sunset at our local park for three months straight. Learning to live again is like learning to walk again – hard and tiring. You must make the time to restore and renew your mind, spirit, and soul.

Of course, this all goes with the understanding that we are constantly praying and praising God for every single blessing He brings our way. It can be big things, like climbing stairs again – or small things, like hearing the song of a robin or seeing a butterfly. Whatever the size of the blessing that comes your way that day, praise God for it! And remember: like the butterfly in the cocoon, this season, too, is temporary and will pass.

It was finally the weekend! After my long mathematics presentation, I came home to watch my favorite tv show, Person of Interest, to de-stress. Surprisingly, the episode was about the most famous mathematical constant, pi (π) which is equal to the ratio of a circle’s circumference to its diameter, commonly approximated as 3.14159. Mr. Finch (the main character) was acting as a substitute teacher and wrote on the chalkboard 3.1415926535. Then he asked the students, “What does this mean?” I answered the question in my mind, thinking, “If I have a bicycle tire with a diameter of 1, then one full revolution of the bicycle tire would travel the distance pi.” However, in the show, nobody answered. Then Mr. Finch answered the question himself, saying:

Person of Interest, Season 2 Episode 11 “2 Pi R”

“Pi, the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter — 3.1415926535 — is just the beginning. It keeps going forever without ever repeating, which means that contained within this string of decimals is every other number; your birth date, the combination to your locker, your social security number, etc. It’s all in there somewhere. And if you convert these decimals into letters you would have every word that ever existed in every possible combination; the first syllable you spoke as a baby, the name of your latest crush, your entire life story from beginning to end, and everything we ever say or do. All of the world’s infinite possibilities rest within this one simple circle. Now what will you do with that information; what it’s good for? Well, that would be up to you…”

Although that scene was actually inaccurate, I loved it. This scene is beautiful because most teachers in the world struggle to be as good and as interesting of a teacher as Mr. Finch is here. His knowledge about the subject expands the discussion beyond the textbooks and keeps the students focused throughout the lecture.

Wikipedia, gif, “Pi Unrolled”

We have all been taught that pi is the ratio of a circle’s circumference to its diameter.

Unfortunately, this is wrong because mathematicians have not proved that pi has the characteristic of “normality” yet. In other words, mathematicians are not sure if pi contains all the finitely long permutations of digits from 0 to 9. They are not sure if every digit continues to be used after a certain amount of time or an unlimited number of times in pi’s decimal representation. Nobody knows what we will find in the digits of pi if we keep going. For instance, when we check the first billion digits of pi, we see that the digit 7 occurs almost 100 million times. This makes pi a nice random number generator. However, after some points, pi may not contain the digit 7 and might instead have a non-repeating number with just two or three digits such as 010203112233000111222333…

For instance, after the first 761 digits of pi, there is a famous mathematical coincidence where six nines occur in a row which is called the Feynman point.

Twitter, Feynman’s Library, “Feynman Point in Pi”

But we are sure that the digits of pi keep going on forever and in a random order. This makes pi interesting because the value of pi is finite; however, its decimal value is infinitely long. This is not a contradiction. Pi is a constant number because it is the ratio of the circumference of a circle and its diameter, which are finite values. Still, we need an approximate value for pi.

In 1768, Johann Lambert proved that the value of pi is an irrational number and it cannot be written as a rational simple fraction. 22/7 is a commonly used approximation but does not contain all of the digits of pi. This is because irrational numbers cannot be written as a ratio of two numbers, such as , because they continue on to infinity and do not follow a pattern. In 1882, Ferdinand Lindemann proved that pi is a transcendental number because it is not algebraic; it is not a non-constant polynomial equation with rational coefficients (“Transcendental number”, Wikipedia).

We can safely say that pi is transcendental because the mathematician Yasumasa Kanada found that the first trillion digits of pi appear to be statistically random. If you check the table below, you see that the event of each digit occurring is independent, and the probability of it is one-tenth of the time (“Kanada Laboratory,” Super Computing)

After many years, Emma Haruko Iwao found 34.1 trillion digits of pi in 2019. It took 121 days for Haruko and his computer, because calculating pi requires a lot of power, even for a computer. You can picture it in your mind like this; if you were to print a billion decimal values of Pi in normal sized, ordinary font, it would stretch from New York to Kansas.

However, 34.1 trillion digits is still not enough to prove whether pi is normal or not (“Pi in the Sky, Google Cloud Blog). Supercomputers are still crunching the numbers. If you check the graph below, you will see the number of known digits of pi, by year, since 250 B.C.

FiveThirtyEight, Graph, “Even After 31 Trillion Digits, We’re Still No Closer To The End Of Pi”

Going back to Mr. Finch, we see that he is not 100% wrong. We can find our birthdays in pi easily. If you go to mypiday.com and type your birthday, it will give you the decimal place in pi. For example, my birthday occurs at the 675,097th decimal place.

If pi is a normal number, then we can say that our whole destiny is encoded in pi. The pictures we are going to take in the future, will be in pi because there are binary numbers behind images. All digital products are in pi. Even this article has been in pi for thousands of years. Furthermore, the DNA of every creature is in pi. Mr. Finch was actually right.

There is an interesting and artistic way to show the randomness of pi. Some scientists might be happy with their tedious scatter plots, but there are some artists who use colors for data visualization to communicate with the public. Martin Krzywinski is one such artist, who found beauty and artistry in the randomness of Pi. He took the digits of pi and gave each digit a different color. For instance, he gave 3 the color orange, 1 as red, 4 as yellow, and so on. Then he made a beautiful poster. And if you look at it carefully, you do not see any particular pattern to the colors.

Science Art by Martin Krzywinski

Should we stop working on pi? Or should we continue looking for a better approximation? Is assuming pi as equal to 3.14 good enough? Or is it enough to use 40 digits of pi to find the circumference of the Milky Way galaxy to an error less than the size of a proton (JPL NASA)? Are the first 152 digits enough to find the circumference of the observable universe at 93 billion light-years (WIRED)? There are hundreds of mathematicians who have been trying to figure out more digits of pi for years. It is like trying to get to the moon and then to the next planet, and so on…

But why? Why do mathematicians bother calculating any more digits? Why aren’t 34.1 trillion digits of pi enough? Is it because pi lurks in every circle?

The logical reason seems cryptic: is it because pi is a beautiful source to generate random numbers? Or is it that countries can show off their technology to other countries, because calculating trillions of digits of pi requires a very powerful computer? For instance, in the Star Trek episode “Wolf in the Fold,” Spock foils the evil computer by commanding it to “compute to last digit of the value of pi.” So asking a computer to compute pi is called “a stress test” and may make it crash.

On the other hand, we humans are just weird. Staying at home and drinking tea is a beautiful activity, but when we get bored, we try to climb the highest of mountains, befriend a tiger, or try to memorize the digits of pi, like Chao Lu, who correctly memorized the first 67,890 digits of pi. We will keep doing these things because we like to understand the world around us.

We are inevitably connected to the past, and pi is a thread that’s gone through all of human history. That’s why we can say that as long as there are people, there’s always going to be somebody who wonders what’s next. And I assure you that somewhere in the world there is a mathematician or scientist using pi for something important, because pi is still the mysterious constant of nature.

Finding Pi

The previous statement is utterly true: there has always been someone who works on pi. Math is as old as civilization. Pi has been studied by the human race for almost 4000 years. When the last mammoths were going extinct, people were studying Pi. As far as we know, Archimedes was one of the first humans who calculated pi. He was most likely helping wheel makers. But how did he estimate the value of pi?

Firstly, he saw that all polygons are a circle. According to Archimedes, if you keep increasing the number of the sides of a polygon, you get closer to the perfect circle. In other words, a pentagon is more circle than a square, but a hexagon is more circle than a pentagon, and so on… Thus, more than two thousand years ago, he defined a circle as a regular polygon with an extremely large number of sides.

His definition is useful because measuring a curved surface was hard to do accurately. He found a way to find the circumference of a circle. First, he drew a square with its corners touching the perimeter of a circle and found the perimeter of the inscribed square. Secondly, he drew another square with its sides also touching the perimeter of the circle and found the perimeter of the circumscribed square. He came to the conclusion that the circumference of the circle had to lie somewhere between the value of those two perimeters of squares.

Using this method, however, the difference between those two values was pretty big. So, he drew pentagons to see the upper and lower bounds of the circumference of the circle. This gave him a smaller range of bounds. He kept increasing the number of faces of the polygon that he was drawing inside and outside the circle. Each time he did this, his estimation was getting more accurate. Archimedes got up to a 96 sided regular polygon [called an enneacontahexagon] until he grew exhausted. The lower and upper bound that he found were 3.1408 and 3.1429. Thus, he calculated π to two decimal places.

Archimedes’ method needed improvement because his life span was not going to be long enough to find the other digits of pi by hand. Mathematicians needed to discover more efficient formulas and new techniques.

Before they could do this, they needed to discover algebra. Its discovery by the great mathematicians inspired a whole new way of looking at the world.

The next great jump in calculating pi was the invention of calculus. After that, mathematicians started working on infinite series. An infinite series is an expression with numbers added together until infinity; sometimes these infinite series converge to a particular value.

There are many methods available now to calculate pi. Gottfried Leibniz found pi in infinity. James Gregory was working on one of the astonishing infinite series for the inverse tangent function below. He added infinitely many small numbers together and found pi.

He put x = 1 into the inverse-tangent series. He showed us the further we go, the closer to the estimation of pi we get. However, in order to get 10 digits of pi, we need to write about 5 billion fractions.

After that, another great mathematician, Leonhard Euler – who officially adopted the Greek letter “π” as a symbol to represent the value – found a more efficient equation for pi, when he was only 28. The symbol became iconic. Euler’s Pi equation calculates an infinite sum. The Basel Problem was named after him.

Euler also used pi to write another beautiful equation, Euler’s Identity.

Thanks to the Indian mathematician Ramanujan’s obsession with pi, we have many new formulas to find pi. When he arrived at Cambridge from India, he brought with him a notebook in which there were 400 pages of formulas to find pi.

After the invention of mechanical computers, mathematicians used Leibniz’s, Euler’s, and Ramanujan’s infinite series to calculate a trillion decimal digits of pi (Stanford Cryptography Group). Without a supercomputer, finding this many digits of pi would be difficult. For example, the mathematician William Shanks managed to calculate the first 707 digits of pi by hand but unfortunately, he had made a mistake after the 527th place.

Pi is everywhere

Children start learning about pi when they are in 7th grade and use it until they graduate from college. Even after that, most people use pi again when their children go to school. Pi appears everywhere in the universe. It is literally woven into our universe: the orbits of planets, electromagnetic waves, rivers, the colors of auroras, the structure of DNA, the Great Pyramid of Giza… If a scientist wants to describe the structure of the universe or find the relationship between planets, he/she definitely needs to use pi: anything involving a circle or a sphere is about pi. Circles appear throughout the natural world, whether they’re a soap bubble or the moon in the night sky.

 A Gif showing the clever play on the letters “pi”

Sinuosity of rivers

Pi has a direct relationship with rivers. But how? To figure this out, we need to measure the length of a river in two different ways. Assume that we know the starting and ending point of the river. First, we need the actual length to see how bendy the river is. In other words, the distance that you need to swim from the beginning point to the ending point. This whole length will be “L”. Second, we need to find a straight length. In other words, this time we need to fly from the beginning to the end. And this direct route will be a lowercase “l”. Now we can write the formula for the sinuosity by dividing L by l. The sinuosity is a ratio and measures how bendy the river is.

What is important here is there’s no limit to how high sinuosity can be. Rivers can be really bendy. However, Hans-Henrik Stølum proved that theaverage sinuosity of rivers around the world is pi. If you find the sinuosity of all the rivers and take the average sinuosity of them, you should get pi (Meandering River).

There is another interesting fact about sinuosity. Rivers can be very bendy at some points. But suddenly, those rivers become straight and make the sinuosity around pi. So, it is hard to find the sinuosity of a river equal to 7 because of fluid dynamics. Mathematicians found the highest sinuosity to be around 3.5 and the lowest sinuosity around 2.7.

At the extremely bendy point, rivers cut off after the bend point and make a shortcut to become straight again. This phenomenon is known as an oxbow lake, which controls the sinuosity of rivers. This keeps the sinuosity of a river around Pi.

Pi in Space

There is a mathematical order inherent in our universe. For instance, to understand our solar system, we need pi. We know that our planet moves in front of its host star. And the light comes from host stars. To talk about that light, we need to know how big the host star is. In other words, we need the surface area of the host star. The formula for the surface area of a sphere is 4πr², with r being the star’s radius. The size of a planet also helps scientists to guess whether it is habitable or not.

Another good example to show the relationship between pi and the universe is electrostatic force, which is the force between two electric charges. An electron exerts a force in all directions and forms a sphere field. Electrons also interact with each other on an electric field. To figure out that interaction, we need to find the surface area of spheres, where again pi comes up.

There is also a connection between pi and gravity. If you have had a chance to see Einstein’s field equations, you might notice that pi is there also:

The formula above calculates how objects with a large mass, such as stars and galaxies, can curve space and time with their gravity. Einstein said that, just like a ball sitting on a bedsheet, any form of momentum and energy can also curve space-time around it. In words, the formula is saying:

Gravity = 8 x π x Energy & Momentum

Lastly, if you take the square root of Earth’s gravity, you almost get pi.

Pi Day

After so many years studying pi, people decided to organize an official celebration of pi on March 14th. Since 1988, people have celebrated this magical constant. Coincidentally, Albert Einstein was born on pi day – March 14, 1879. Einstein also published his theory of general relativity on pi day.

The Google logos for Pi Day.

What if somebody came up to you and said the words, “you can’t do it?” What if somebody came up to you and pushed you down, kicked you, forced you to stop moving forward, and forced you to stop trying? What if this same person knocked you down time and again, reminding you that you are a failure, and that you can never do anything with your life? What if this person told you that you’ll never make it over this next obstacle, or that you can never climb that mountain, or that you can never cross that canyon? Well, look up, because that person is you.

Here you are. The mountain is large, and looms over you with such height and width that you start to second guess yourself. You stand at the base of it and simply stare. The snow hits you in the face, and you can feel the trembling cold that seeps in through your coat and gloves. Maybe you should turn back? Maybe you weren’t ready for this. You look at the top, and realize with a start that you can’t even see it. Clouds surround it so thickly, to the point that you aren’t sure if the top even exists. The doubts start flying in, and you have no choice but to listen to them. And, the more you listen, the more you start to believe them. Giving up, at this moment, seems like the best option in the world. The mountain seems too big anyway. Who even knows whether you’d be able to make it all the way to the top or not?

The problem with facing a disaster is not the obstacle, but our mindset. It’s easy to say, “I’ll cross the valley,” but harder to back up words with actions. It’s easy to say to a mountain, “get up, and move” without having the belief that it will. Soon, as we move through life, we understand that the obstacles and disasters are nothing compared to the problems that you pose to ourselves. It is us; it always was us. We continue to be our biggest obstacle. We are the disaster in our own lives. If we can face ourselves, our doubts and fears, then we can surely face any other thing with ease.

“I can’t get through it.” If you keep telling yourself that, you’ll soon believe it. Our perspective is severely flawed. When we look up and see an obstacle or hardship, that’s all we can see. We are unable, incapable, of looking beyond the negativity. It surrounds us, haunts us, and pushes us down, to the point where we believe we cannot ever stand again. We don’t see the reality of our situation: we are the ones holding ourselves back. What we see before us, that disaster we are so afraid to face, is only a single dot in the ever expanding timeline of our lives. Sure, that disaster may look big now, but soon, we will forget we have ever faced it. The important thing to remember is this; that not everything lasts forever. Our eyes have been deceived; they make the obstacles of our lives look bigger than they really are. So, let’s put the blinders on and go out there, face our fears, face ourselves, face the obstacle, and win.

So okay: you’ve managed to convince yourself to attempt and climb this huge, snowy mountain. You’ve begun to trudge up its side, your feet following the ridges so that your boots have something to grip. It’s harder than you imagined it would be: your fingers are already numb, you can barely see the hand in front of your face, and the cold has managed to find a way underneath all of your protective layers. You’ve already lost one bag of supplies, after an accident when you took to a ridge too steep and put the bag down for a moment to catch your breath. Now, it’s just you, a smaller sack, and your ever-weary determination. You hadn’t thought it’d be this difficult, and you start to make promises to yourself that you aren’t sure you can keep. “Oh, I think I should turn around and try another time,” or “I’ll get more supplies and training and come back in a few years.” You pause your climb and start to wonder if turning back is perhaps that is the best course of action at the moment. Besides, it’s too cold, you’ve already lost one bag, and a huge tiredness is suddenly overcoming you. Maybe next time.

Don’t make excuses. Another problem we face is the fact that we often try and get out of facing a certain obstacle. “It’s too hard,” or “I’ll never win,” or “I’ll face it some other time.” Something we must understand is that, when we procrastinate like this, we have already lost. We have given control over to the disaster and are content to sit there and let it attack us on every side. We’ve given up, became soft and lazy. Since when did we become content with doing nothing? Since when are we comfortable with throwing up our white flag every time we meet something we don’t want to face? Get up! This is not a walk in the park! These are our lives, and this is our time. We’ve been given an opportunity to face a disaster other people have been fighting for years. We need to take it into our own hands and believe in ourselves. Enough with the “do it later”’s and “not for me”’s. It’s time to climb harder than we ever have before. Strive to make it. Believe we can make it. Will ourselves to make it.

Without warning, you’ve run into another problem. You settle down on a flat part of ground to make camp for the night. Then you hear a menacing and intimidating growl from behind you. You quickly turn and come face to face with narrowed feline eyes. A giant snow leopard has followed you and, judging by its demeanor, it doesn’t look friendly. You can feel yourself starting to tremble, and your mind goes blank. You hadn’t expected this kind of threat at all, and with your unpreparedness, you are sure to die if you don’t act quickly. How do you act when faced with such an unexpected disaster as this?

In school, we are taught a number of things. We are taught to work with equations, to memorize dates, to know the steps of a number of different processes. We are expected to test on the curriculum, and to learn, memorize, and be familiar with the assigned material. But, I can promise you this: nothing taught in school can ever prepare you for the obstacles ahead. In math class, we are taught to solve for x, yet never taught how to solve our own problems, just somebody else’s. The truth is that you can never be truly prepared for a disaster. There is no textbook to read, no line to memorize, no equation to plug in. There is no single way to solve the problem. And that scares us. We face our obstacles, trying to solve them in the ways that we have been taught all our lives, but we can’t. We have to learn that sometimes, there is no answer. We can’t always solve the problem. What we can do, however, is to get through it. Face it, and then move on. We won’t ever be prepared for the disasters that are coming our way, but we don’t need to be. Everything we ever needed will not be taught to us in a classroom, or from a book, or even from this essay. Everything we will need is inside us, so use it.

I’ve got good news: You’ve fended off the snow leopard. Out of desperation, you took your last remaining bag, containing the rest of your food supplies, and threw it far away from you. Without hesitation, you ran in the opposite direction, abandoning your temporary campsite and every other thing you brought on this adventure. You are now alone, cold, on a mountain, with no supplies or rations of any kind. While escaping, the snow leopard managed to cut you. The blood has soaked through your bandage, and it drips to the ground below you. It stings like crazy. You finally have processed the predicament that you find yourself in, and conclude that there is no way to turn this into a positive. You tried, you failed, and now you will pay the penalty for it. You can’t help it: you press your cold face into your even colder gloves, and cry. Defeat has overtaken you, and you can think of nothing else except to sit and wait, hoping for a rescue of some kind, or, if not that, some kind of relief. Regardless, you’ve lost. It’s all over now, and the snow has turned red.

 Failure. It is the one thing that every person in the world can say they’ve experienced. But we mislabel what our failure really is. We view our loses as a bad thing. We mess up, we make mistakes, we don’t always make it. Anything that goes awry is a failure. We fear it. We always talk about how much we fail, how we just couldn’t do it. We fail to recognize our true error. Our failure is not messing up. Our failure is giving up. When we fail to try, when we get the notion in our head that we can’t do something, or that we can never get out of the situation we are in, these are the true failures. The belief that something cannot be done is the only mistake we could ever make. The disasters in our lives make it seem as though the impossible cannot be done. But this is not the time to give up. Don’t you dare quit. This is where you are your strongest. It’s not over until you allow it to be over. Stand up. Remember why you set out to conquer this disaster or obstacle in the first place. Find your motivation. You want to get over this mountain? Great, now tell me why. What is your why? Why bother setting out in the first place? You have gotten so far, that the only failure you could possibly have is giving up now. But you are not a failure. You can succeed. The final piece of advice I can give you is this: find your why. Once you can answer this question, you have already faced half the battle. Your motivation is your sword, so use it. Fear isn’t your biggest obstacle; it’s your lack of why, which becomes a lack of motivation. So find it and continue forward.

The snow is white now. The bleeding has stopped, as has your crying. You’ve managed to continue forward. Step after step brings you deeper and deeper into the unknown. You’ve fallen into a rhythm now. Step, step, step, pause. Step, step, step, pause. Step, step … an irregularity. You find you cannot go any further. You quickly lift your head up and your eyes are met with the sight you only believed you could achieve. The most wonderful scene is before you, and as you look around, you realize you know exactly where you are. The clouds have cleared, the snow is white, and you have made it. The top does exist after all. Your faith has become sight. Enjoy the view, for you have earned it. It is yours. You have conquered, you have overcome, you have won.

We live in a magnificent world inhabited by approximately 8,700,000 species. This number includes only general species, not subspecies. Scientists discover around 2,500 new species every year, and the number is soon estimated to reach 10 million.

All living organisms are blessed with unique bodies, systems, and organs, defense and protection mechanisms to survive and protect themselves, and special features to help them forage for food.

When people get ill due to environmental effects or malnutrition they usually consult a doctor. They try to find a cure by using the medicine prescribed by doctors. However, animals living in the wild don’t have this option. When animals living in nature or on the street get ill what can they do if nobody takes them to a vet? How do millions of species get well and find cures for their ailments?

You might think that animals who become sick in the wild must simply live with their symptoms, but this is not the case. In fact, we have given a clue at the introduction: each organism is equipped with features to lead a self-sustaining life. Either their bodily functions perfectly enable them to live in their habitat or their unique metabolisms protect them from harmful external factors. Animals also can use some plants whose health benefits have only recently been discovered by humans.

In recent decades, there has been a growing interest for herbal products such as walnut leaf, cherry stalk tangerine rind, grenadine red, and celery root to find cure for diseases.

Animals perform amazing tasks with mind-blowing adroitness as if each were an expert chemist. Wondrous mechanisms are activated when a need arises to protect animals from harm.

Some plants with healing properties:

Lupine, quassia, bitter wood, hemlock, fishberry, roselle, henbane, giant fennel root, pistachio, resin, pine turpentine, mistletoe, cumin, hibiscus, hibiscus flower, alkanet, flos elaeagni, camphor, cardamom, St John’s wort, French lavender, Flaxseed, linseed oil, henna tree, quillaia, wall germander, cranberry, aspand, daffodil, water lily, common balm and eucalyptus.

Animals have been consuming and finding cures in these plants since the dawn of time. They are also equipped with many surviving capabilities under extremely severe conditions. Here are a few examples:

Antibiotics expert

With a height of up to five meters, the giraffe is the tallest land animal. Scientists who investigated the scent emitted by the giraffe found 11 separate chemical substances in its fur. The chemicals turned out to have antibiotic properties, having an increased efficiency when combined. Only after a series of experiments can these incredibly complex chemicals be extracted in the laboratory. The giraffe has been using these chemicals to prevent fungi and bacteria, repel ticks, and stop the growth of germs. Where did these tall creatures study chemistry to know how to produce antibiotics such as indole?

The stubborn doctor

The bezoar ibex is a type of mountain goat native to Turkey, Iran, Turkmenistan and Pakistan. It has a motley coat of black, brown, grey, reddish-gold, and white. Both the male and female have horns and a goatee. The name means “cure” in Persian, and the locals must have noticed its habit of eating spurge whenever bitten by a snake. Scientists have identified the substance called euphorbone in the spurge plant. Amazingly, an analysis of this substance reveals that certain chemical reactions triggered by euphorbone neutralize the effects of venom. The poisoned creature looks for splurge from among the vegetation, self-medicates, and treats itself free of charge. It sure is no wonder when one realizes that the goat, the snake, and the plant are all created by the same hand.

The master of diving

Divers who ascend too quickly to the surface run the high risk of experiencing the bends, an intense pain that is likely to kill because of the gasses coming out of the bloodstream. But how do billions of creatures that lack oxygen tubes lead their entire lives in the sea without experiencing the bends?

Dolphins and whales, for example, descend to depths humans can’t reach on their own and then rise like it is no big deal. Human lungs cannot endure the pressure under such depths, but the bronchi and air sacs in the lungs of dolphins, however, are placed inside a protective cover of special cartilage. To avoid suffering the bends, dolphins release all the air in their lungs before diving deep. But how then do they breathe? The answer is hidden in their muscles, or rather in the myoglobin protein that is available in much higher amounts than in humans. These proteins have the ability to hold in high amounts of oxygen molecules. The much needed oxygen is provided from this source, enabling dolphins and whales to dive as deep as possible.

Poison for one, food for another

The macaw is an inhabitant of American tropical regions with an average wing span of 80 cm. It is known to be a tough creature that lives as long as 60 years. The macaw feeds on plants that produce a chemical called strychnine (C₂₁H₂₂N₂O₂), a powerful poison intended to ward off enemies. How can a substance that kills some living things nourish others? Immediately after eating the nutritious but poisonous seeds, the macaw flies to the rocky cliffs in a certain area. When they get there, they gnaw at and swallow some clay-based rock pieces. The fact that the bird ingests clay without any apparent reason is quite an interesting behavior. The reason was revealed only after research into the origins of the behavior. It turns out that the rocks that have clay in them include a substance called kaolinite (Al₂O₃.2SiO₂.2H₂O) that can absorb the poison in the seeds. The macaw can digest the normally poisonous seeds thanks to this absorption and live on with its life safely. There is no way the macaw can know about the substances present in the clay, so how does it know to eat the clay that can eliminate toxins?

The antifreeze expert

The arctic beetle survives against the inhospitable cold of the arctic thanks to a type of alcohol produced in its body that works as antifreeze. The glycerol (C₃H₈O₃), also called glycerin, produced by the insect prevents the blood and other fluid molecules from freezing and thus ice crystals from killing the cells and destroying cellular bonds. Furthermore, the shorter the days and the colder the weather, the more resistant the bodily mechanisms of the arctic beetle become. As the temperature drops, the volume of water in their body is reduced and antifreeze substances such as glycerol and sorbitol are produced in greater amounts. Research on this amazing creature has revealed that it can survive in temperatures as low as -87 degrees Celsius due to glycerol. It is beyond reason to expect an insect to know how to produce an organic compound with the complex formula of C₃H₈O₃ and thus protect itself from extreme cold.

The radiation expert

Scientists analyzed a surviving scorpion after an atomic bomb test, yet they couldn’t find a satisfying answer to how this animal survived the radiation shower that exterminated all other living organisms. Note that scorpions which came into existence millions of years ago are basically living fossils. Thanks to the protective system they are blessed with, in the past they have survived more powerful solar explosions and harmful radiation from outer space and the sun, and handed down these features to future generations.

The creature that never feels cold

The tardigrade, or water bear, is one of the most resistant organisms in nature.

The size of a pinhead, these microorganisms have pin-shaped hoses in their mouth.  These microorganisms have a brain, a pair of eyes, and a digestion system, but they do not have a heart or lungs.  600 different subspecies of the animal have been discovered so far. They feed mostly on moss and lichens and can survive in any environment including space.

They have been observed to survive a temperature of 120 ⁰C and a pressure of 1000 atm. In dry environments they contract, causing the water in their tissues to evaporate. During this process, the oxygen consumption of the tardigrade virtually stops. The wind carries the dried tardigrades to other places and when they find a suitable environment (wet moss or humid places) they can come back to life again.

According to Ingemar Jönsson from Kristianstadt University in Sweden who participated in studies on this organism, it is a mystery how these animals survive even when they are subjected to conditions in outer space.

Animals perform amazing tasks with mind-blowing adroitness as if each were an expert chemist. Wondrous mechanisms are activated when a need arises to protect animals from harm. It is wondrous to see how animals can carry out these complex chemical procedures as if they have been instructed at birth.

Knowing oneself is a good starting point. But what does it mean, after all? Is it possible to know yourself at all, particularly with all the tools we are presented with or forced to acquire throughout our lives? Tools, after all, are all limited in nature, presented to you by others, such as language skills, thought processes, and cognitive abilities. Then, do you think you can know yourself, let alone develop your own philosophy of life? With all these difficulties, you set out on one of two differing paths, either one where you become a thinker yourself and be a lighthouse yourself, or another, where you just drift around another lighthouse. Anything beyond could be darkness. The difference between these two seems to lie in asking, seeking, and questioning; that is, in having an inquisitive mind versus embracing, accepting, and believing – in other words, having a submissive mind. It becomes more like choosing a blue pill versus a red one, as is depicted in a recent film, which is a rather successful strategy for guiding the submissive in searching for meaning.

With all these thoughts, let me begin to talk about my journey of seeking the meaning of life – well, in particular my life. With all the boundaries and veils around me set by education and indoctrination, I set sail into different waters, far away. I enjoyed being myself as a subject rather than an object. I freed myself of some knowledge without any facts and was bound by other knowledge. This painstaking unweaving and weaving of myself led me to being who I am now, with numerous toolsets of scientific facts and knowledge, of faith and truths, with numerous veils, some old and some new. And I am somewhat content with what I have now, albeit at times I fear missing the whole point that is the meaning of life. Then, I revert to my comfort zone and feel safer for the moment.

Again, with all the new adventures and relearning of myself, I find myself mostly looking for contentment with life – both my life and others. Contentment, superficially a head-to-toe feeling, gives me a sense of safety and the courage to seek more facts and knowledge in science and faith. Confusion, on the other hand, is my fear. The difference is like having 20/20 vision versus having serious cataracts. In my journey, the beam of a lighthouse illuminated me and made me feel that I have 20/20 vision, by which I can potentially see and get to know everything and be contented with everything, most importantly with myself. But was this just due to this lighthouse or had I developed the tools to be my own lighthouse? With the comfort of not having to probe this question, I preferred to drift near this lighthouse all the time.

Reaching a comfort zone around this luminous lighthouse, and in my contentment, I stalled in searching myself for a while. Each and every time I attempted to sail a little further, I quit, fearful that I could go no further. I then realized that there were many more artifacts around this lighthouse that could help me develop my own tools for my journey. They were quite marvelous and beautiful artifacts. They were also quite handy, as if they were made for my use. I tremendously enjoyed collecting these objects, and sort of built my own little ship under a little projector. And, as if there must always be a catch, some of these artifacts were reflective in nature, and when I looked at them, I saw my own dark side. This soured my enjoyment for seeking and collecting ornaments. As if this was not enough of a sore point in my journey, I got to see others’ dark sides as well, which caused me even further pain. A dualism of saying and doing in many led me to become more cautious, as I tried to shed light into my dark sides. After all, terrible things could happen in the dark. As I enjoyed the moments under the lighthouse, despite the possibility of darkness, I learned that there were also other artifacts that could help me with my dark side and my dealing with others’ darkness. Through formulating and solving these problems, I was delighted to find that these artifacts were even more beautiful than when I thought when I saw them for the first time. Along with these ornaments, I also got to meet some great adventurers just like me, with the same hopes and problems and also with helping hands. I became even more content with what I had at the time.

As time passed, I encountered another obstacle in my journey; I lost my passion for the search. I felt too overwhelmed with the almost constant dualism of saying and doing and tended to lose my patience with the darkness in others and partly in myself. This was too much to take. Was there another artifact around to help me through this obstacle? In search of this “yet to be found” artifact, I again partly got into the process of unweaving and weaving myself. While moving through this stage, I got to see that finding more and more objects could cause someone to become quite pretentious and full of false hope. This newly found “fact” saddened me quite deeply.

Not to be trapped in these obstacles, I needed to put more effort into finding more around me to help me proceed. But it was not easier. On the contrary, it was a lot more difficult. This led me to another “fact”: whatever I was searching for could be only found by someone who persists. I got to see that knowing and doing are quite different, just as saying and doing are different from each other. Nevertheless, I grew more curious about what might come, let it be other precise substances or quasi-unyielding obstacles. Maybe this seek, jump, and find makes the trip joyful and worthwhile.

Where am I right now? With more artifacts and greater contentment with what I have and who I am, I am now more eager to set sail further under the luminous light of this breathtaking lighthouse, full of passion and joy, seeking to see what is to come. Have I developed any sense of knowledge or belief, or a motto for my life? Well, I am at a point right now where I know by heart that there are beautiful objects and ornaments and flowers in the Garden of Eden. They are only visible in the light, and I am much contented that I found a beautiful lighthouse that continuously sheds light on the Garden. I am undecided yet whether I can sail further or stay around in my current contentment.

When I look back, I see that throughout my joyful journey, I tried to keep an inquisitive mind and learn about my dark side while discovering that there are more things waiting to be found and healed. I also learned that being pretentious and contentious is a big obstacle to gaining consciousness in finding the good in life. I also got to see that while seeking, finding, being helped and helping others – sailing, in other words – the whole journey is full of action and reading. Reading myself, others, and all these artifacts, reading the beautiful writing on this beautiful lighthouse was what I was doing all along. This reading and doing made the journey of life actually very rewarding in itself. I now treasure the artifact I get to develop throughout my journey – sometimes alone, but mostly under the light of the lighthouse I came across. I have a strong knowledge of and belief in this artifact. It gives me passion and conscience throughout my journey of life, through which I sometimes walk alone, but mostly with others. It sheds light when I see darkness in myself and in others. It helps me find more precious artifacts and develop even more of them along the way. It helps me find joy even among obstacles. It gives me passion and hope for getting ready to sail away into unseen waters that will take me among the endless artifacts under the light without any darkness. Then, I will say I am more than content and thankful for this great fulfilling journey.

In this post-9/11 world, the word “Muslim” conjures up many images and has many connotations. Real knowledge or understanding of Islam and Muslims however, is few and far between.

In her book Surrendering to God, Dr. Tatari starts by expounding on the literal meaning of what it means to be a muslim, which we find is the verbal noun “submitter.” She explains that a person is a submitter (muslim) if and when he or she submits their mind, heart, and actions to the Will of God. From this perspective, the book not only appeals to those who profess a Muslim identity, but to everyone who strive to find answers to their existential questions and submit to their Creator.

The book addresses the basic existential questions that torment us when they remain unanswered. For those who are swept amidst the chores of life and feel they are about to drown without meaning, the book gives them the opportunity to pause and reset.

This book helps bridge the divide between what we know as Islam and what really is Islam. As a Christian, I found the overlap in the principles of Islam, Christianity, and Judaism comforting in an era when there is all too much emphasis on our differences.

Surrendering to God is not a how-to, nor is it an academic text. Instead, it is an occasionally biographical account of one woman’s journey deeper into her religion that manages to address the larger points of what being a follower of Islam means. Tatari is clear in emphasizing that this is her account, and should not be seen as the definitive guide. She also emphasizes that the relationship one fosters with their Creator is a personal one, that “Faith is a personal matter between a believer and her Creator.”

While very grounded, Surrendering to God frequently makes reference to beautiful passages that illustrate the beauty the author finds in her devotion. One example is when she states: “In Islam, human beings are not deemed to be intrinsically evil. We have the potential to be higher than angels or lower than animals.”

Dr. Tatari makes an important point that religion and science are not incompatible, and that questioning one’s religion is not a sin: “I have learned that this natural … questioning is a gift of God to find Him and that in numerous Qur’anic verses He urges us to question everything.” This is important because all too often to express curiosity, to question, and yes, to occasionally doubt is seen as the currency of the faithless or the “doubters” when in reality it is often the means of getting closer to God.

This book opens a fresh and insightful window into Islam as a practical lifestyle and way of life. Although it deals with theoretical concepts, it is wholly practical. It sheds light on Islam as a religion that is lived rather than just read.

While perhaps intended for Muslims (or muslims, as I have learned from the book that there is a distinction), this book makes great reading for those early on in their relationship with Islam, and for those who are just generally curious about Islam and what it means to be a muslim.

Surrendering to God is a thought-provoking read, no matter what one’s background is. This book will be inspiring to anyone who is trying to grow closer to God and reflect on what is truly important in life.

Dr. Rayna Flye is Research and Evaluation Specialist at Beaverton School District in Oregon.

In order to find your new self in tranquility

As you transformed, the sanctuary became the enemy

Demolishing your home turned out to be your first duty

Don’t worry, you will be okay

You didn’t belong there anyway

Embrace life, or else you will be cast away

Remember, you have only a single day

You are now like a newborn star in dreams

Behold your beauty and elegant limbs

Feel the air flow by you, flip your wings

Taste the drops of life on the leaves

I wish I were you, just like a baby

My smiles could buy world’s sympathy

And my cries would enslave everybody

Each day, sailing towards a new discovery

But, what is it that you are still searching in pain?

Don’t tell me all this splendor is in vain

You are a blossom in the air, don’t be insane

I cannot reason your ceaseless disdain

Oh butterfly, you have woken me up

Is this face mine or is it makeup

Or, am I you in my dream? Reality is messed up

After a life-long delusion, I need a clean up

I am now seeking a beauty

One that I saw in a dream I don’t remember

From one flower to another, alas I cannot find it.

I am starving, how am I going to survive?

But my yearning for the beauty becomes my food.

A beauty whose absence is so powerful,

I cannot even imagine reunion with it,

A beauty that is with me, but I am far from it.

Seth Mette is a professor of aerospace engineering