Zainab believed, according to her religion Islam, that Allah, the loving Creator, prohibited certain actions to Muslims because those actions had the potential for the most harm. Gambling was one of the most destructive among them. So Zainab could not reconcile her father’s beloved status with the abominable act he was committing.

But, it was life, and her father did what many people do: rationalize the wrong he was doing when, in fact, the wrong he committed affected everyone in his life. It caused Zainab’s family to be dysfunctional and had a disastrous effect on her mother. This unhappiness rained down from the mother onto her children. And though Zainab’s parents tried their best to hide their shame and to protect their children from this wrong, they fought constantly in the house.

Many a night Zainab would hide at the top of the stairs silently cowering and listening, as the battle raged below over the gambled money-whether won or lost. Her home was a scary place that she forever associated with emotional turmoil. In Zainab’s home, the rights that were given to the children by their religion were violated each time she and her siblings were exposed to the wrong and the undeniable harm it caused. Her one thought was to grow up and get away from that house, from the confusion, the humiliation, and the pain.

About six months before he died, her father quit gambling. At the time of his death, Zainab was 25, and she had already succeeded in getting as far away from home as possible. She came back for her father’s funeral, went through all the motions, but she didn’t shed a single tear. She could never understand why because she had loved her father so deeply.

Five years after Zainab’s father died, she finally dreamt of him. In her dream, there was a room full of people crowding around the bottom of a long staircase, anticipating her dad’s arrival. He was delayed upstairs for some reason. Earlier in the day, Zainab had agonized over what to wear-just as she always did in real life-but she finally borrowed the perfect dress from her friend for this special occasion of seeing her dad after so many years of being apart. With the arising of a loud hum of excitement, she looked up to see her father slowly descending the stairs. He was pale and sickly looking, but he never said a word as he made his way through the crowd. He came directly to Zainab and took her in strong arms, hugging tightly. The desperation of the greeting alarmed her.

The next thing she knew, her father had some sort of convulsion and he vomited all over the front of her dress. She tried to push him away, thinking foolishly only of the borrowed dress, but he held her and pulled her closer. Zainab straightened her arms, trying in vain to get out of the embrace. But then her dad had another convulsion. He seemed to be weakening and leaning on her for support. Responding, Zainab finally gave in. Ignoring the ruination of her dress, she held his weakened body, making sure he didn’t fall. When she awoke, she was squeezing her wet pillow and sobbing hard. For over thirty years to come, she wondered about the meaning of that dream.

Then one day she was reading how practicing Jews fasted on the Day of Atonement (Yom Kippur) and asked God to forgive them their sins of the past year. It was interesting to learn that they must also ask for forgiveness from anyone they might have harmed. Thinking of the harm she had suffered as a child, Zainab suddenly realized the meaning of her dream: her dad had come to ask for her forgiveness. This revelation was really a shock to her. For so many years, she had held anger and resentment rightfully against her dad. Yet now, forgiveness was being asked of her.

In fact, her own religion Islam placed a great emphasis on seeking forgiveness from other people for the harms one might have caused them. So putting herself in her father’s shoes, Zainab could easily understand why he needed to free himself of this burden.

Zainab began her journey toward forgiveness by realizing how important it is to ask for forgiveness from Allah. It comforted her to know that one of the 99 names of Allah is the Most Forgiving (Al-Ghafur). A hadith qudsi (those words of Allah on the tongue of his prophet that are not part of the revelation of the Quran) reads as follows: “Oh son of Adam, were your sins so great as to reach the clouds of the sky, and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you” (Al-Tirmidhi, Hadith). She dared to think that even she might be forgiven for her sins. Then she pondered: doesn’t everyone want their sins forgiven?

Still struggling to free herself from anger and resentment, Zainab sought the advice of a Christian friend who directed her to Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, in which he encouraged his readers to understand that as God has forgiven us, so we must also forgive one another. Paul’s words, like the hadith qudsi, described forgiveness as a gift from God.

These words strengthened Zainab’s belief in the Most Forgiving (Al-Ghafur), but forgiving another had never been easy for Zainab and granting forgiveness felt so much heavier than asking for it. But in this case, she wanted reconciliation more than anything. She wanted to feel her heart whole (not divided) again, as she did as a child. She wanted to forgive her dad… if only she could.

Then, one night, as Zainab was making a supplication, she felt the warmth of God’s love gripping her heart, and she heard herself whisper effortlessly, “I forgive you, Dad.” In that overwhelming moment, Zainab experienced forgiveness as both an act of giving and a gift from Allah. For Zainab, the greatest favor she had sought from Allah was forgiveness, and it brought her the peace and reconciliation that she had desired.

Mary Lahaj has a master’s degree from the Hartford Seminary in Islamic Studies and Christian/Muslim Relations. She is currently the first Muslim woman chaplain at Simmons College in Boston, an all girls’ undergraduate Liberal Arts College.

Answer: Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, prayed that his community not be completely eradicated from the face of the earth, that they not suffer from pervasive famine, and not be attacked by an enemy which could destroy the great majority of believers; he said that his wishes had been granted. Working from this hadith, we can say that his community will not be subjected to general destruction, nor will they remain under the sovereignty of others permanently. However, the Prophet also reported in the same hadith that a similar prayer that he made for God’s prevention of bloodshed and mischief among his community was not granted (Muslim, Fitan, 19/20).

As to why this last prayer was not accepted, it can perhaps be argued that what was asked for lies within the capacity of human willpower. Humans are blessed with reason and mental capacity. It is not congruent with human dignity to be herded to and fro or to be gathered here and there, against their will. Human beings can exercise their volition and seek the possibility to live together with others peacefully.

“We try (test) people through one another”

By mentioning repeatedly in a number of verses (An’am 6:53) that people will be tested through one another, God warns the Muslim community of this grave threat that might loom over them. God Almighty puts us in trial in a variety of ways; sometimes with illness, sometimes with misfortune, sometimes through our worship, and at other times with our vulnerability to sins. Trying some of us through other people is another means of testing. Every individual person is unique; God created each of us like a separate species in and of itself. We all have different personalities; no one is like another person. By creating every one so different God reveals the manifestations of His beautiful names and glorified attributes and thus puts us through a trial with a promise of a reward for those who are successful. This test requires acknowledgement of these differences in the nature of each person; it is with this awareness that everyone should seek ways to coexist, despite all our differences.

It is reported that Bediuzzaman Said Nursi once praised one of his students and his good skills in his writing to another of his students. He said: “His writing is better than yours.” Upon this, which was also a kind of trial, his student remarked that he was pleased to hear this; he showed no sign of discontent. Bediuzzaman realized that this student was truly sincere in his words. It may not be possible that everyone has the same level of ease at heart in the face of such a situation; we should not expect such a purity of conscience from all. Yet, it is still in our hands to control our behavior.

We should also never forget that a person who displays bad behavior is not necessarily a bad person in all their aspects. Labeling someone thus, especially if that person is an observant believer, is a distorted perspective and reflects one’s own contempt. Moreover, discrediting another believer in such a way means that the discreditor is actually the one who is on the wrong path; he or she might suffer a blow from that person, or a severe dispute might occur. So, instead of making an immediate judgment about another person, it is always best to think of a way to resolve the dispute and to come to terms. The person who takes the first step and apologizes for what has happened can be considered to be a hero. Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, also points out that when two people are angry with one another, the virtuous one is the one who makes the first greeting (Bukhari, Adab, 62). The following verse in the Qur’an enjoins believers as follows:

Goodness and evil can never be equal. Repel evil with what is better (or best). Then see: the one between whom and you there was enmity has become a bosom friend. (Fussilat 41:34)

In contradiction of divine commands

I deeply regret and sometimes feel great sorrow when such weaknesses and lack of integrity surface, despite the above-mentioned divine instructions and warnings. It is not uncommon to come across two people, who normally meet each other at spiritual gatherings and discuss issues related with belief, becoming involved in a dispute. This means that such people are unable to perceive the resentment and hatred that is directed towards believers, and the plots that have been devised by antagonist circles obsessed with enmity; these can obstruct many good services. If these plots against and resentment towards believers are trivial matter, then what is significant for them, that their honor and pride were not regarded? So for us, is it truly the case that the denial of God and His Messenger is not a major issue, but a word uttered unfavorably on our behalf is more important?!

What do we value most? We should be aware of the attention that we give to frivolous matters which we unnecessarily overvalue at the expense of many issues of greater magnitude. God has blessed us with reason, and even beyond that, with belief and the ability to comprehend. So, it is imperative that we analyze how people fall out, albeit they share countless common denominators in belief and values. They believe in the same Creator, the same Sovereign, the same Lord, perhaps even follow the same Messenger and religion, and turn in the same direction for prayer; they may even live in the same country and are committed to the same lofty goals, treading on the same path… Hundreds of shared values should unite people, but we may still fall in dispute over matters that are as insignificant as the wings of a fly. If someone curses me, this does not give me the right to respond likewise. For Bediuzzaman, retaliation is a cruel principle.

“If for God the world was worth the wing of a fly, unbelievers would not be allowed to drink even a drop of water” (Tirmidhi, Zuhd, 13). The world is so insignificant that the unbelievers are allowed to drink. If this is the real value of the world, then what significance can some repugnant worldly issues have for friends who fall apart? Can this ever be reconciled with reason?

It is also reported from Hafiz-i Shiradhi that “the world is not a commodity worth disputing.” I believe that no one would consider this to be an exaggeration. Yet, how much are we reflecting this truth into our lives? Thinking over all these, I cannot help but ask myself “for what purpose are we reading, keeping ourselves busy with the Qur’an and the practice of the Prophet, or with the analysis of marginal matters?” Why are we wasting our time quibbling over such matters if they do not help us reach human perfection?

I am sorrowed by those who do not forgive

All of us need rehabilitation; we need to reflect on our integrity and revise our humanity. This is necessary for all of us. It is easy to overemphasize trivial matters and start the gossip that lies at the tip of our tongues; minds and pure hearts are tarnished with the tar of gossip.

Let me give you an example of how important this issue is: if a friend gets up from their seat and leaves the room, and if I infer in my mind or comment openly on this, saying, “I think he is overwhelmed by sleep too much, so he leaves the gathering to sleep somewhere else” he might be hurt if he were to hear this. What would befall me is to ask for his forgiveness the very first moment I came across him. Gossip is a grave sin. Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, says that gossip is worse than adultery on the grounds that God can forgive the adulterer if he repents and is determined not to commit the sin again. Nevertheless, a gossiper has to ask forgiveness from the person he or she has gossiped about as well as from God (Bayhaqi, Shuabu’l-iman, 14/255). Gossiping about a person who has a large following might result in a grave sin, for it violates the rights of all those people who admire that person. This is a very delicate matter. Unless we deem what God Almighty enjoins as significant as being significant, then many trivial matters will replace them.

We have serious faults in our belief; it is certainly imperfect. We have huge gaps in our commitments to the basic tenets of belief, both at a personal and social level. We seem not to possess perfect belief in the existence of God and His all-encompassing presence, nor in the fact that His will is superior over all other things, nor in the Hereafter where we will account for all we have done in this world.

I am disappointed with and deeply sorrowed by behavior that does not suit a true believer; indeed, for any weakness in this regard. I am heart-broken by my friends who are unable to forgive one another, by those who seek the errors of others, and by those who keep record of others’ sins like the Angle Scribes, and by those who ignore the good deeds performed by others.

Let us not allow any feelings or thoughts that might damage fellowship to enter even our dreams. If we believe, then let us be prepared to honor even the evil-doers and embrace those who have turned their backs on us. Let us make it our life principle to be without hands against those who strike us and without speech against those who curse us.

Thus, while walking toward the future as a whole community, tolerance is our safest refuge and our fortress against the handicaps that arise from schism, factions, and the difficulties inherent in reaching mutual agreement; troubles that lie waiting at every corner.

We should have such tolerance that we are able to close our eyes to the faults of others, to have respect for different ideas, and to forgive everything that is forgivable. In fact, even when faced with violations of our inalienable rights, we should remain respectful to human values and try to establish justice. Even before the coarsest thoughts and the crudest ideas, ideas that we find impossible to share, with the caution of a Prophet and without losing our temper, we should respond with mildness. This mildness is presented in the Qur’an as “gentle words”; it will touch the hearts of others. This mildness is the result of a tender heart, a gentle approach, and mild behavior. We should have so much tolerance that we can benefit from opposing ideas in that they force us to keep our heart, spirit, and conscience active and aware, even if these ideas do not directly or indirectly teach us anything.

Tolerance, a term which we sometimes use in place of the words respect, mercy, generosity, or forbearance, is the most essential element of moral systems; it is a very important source of spiritual discipline and a celestial virtue of perfected people.

Under the lens of tolerance the merits of believers attain new depths and extend to infinity; mistakes and faults become insignificant and whither away until they are so small that they can be placed into a thimble. In fact, the treatment of He Who is beyond time and space always passes through the prism of tolerance, and we wait for it to embrace us and all of creation. Because of the broadness of this embrace, when a corrupt woman who had given water to a thirsty dog touched the knocker of the “Door of Mercy,” she found herself in a corridor extending to chastity and Heaven. Similarly, due to the deep love he felt for God and His Messenger, a drunk suddenly shook himself free and attained companionship of the Prophet. In another example, with the smallest of Divine favors, a bloody murderer was saved from his monstrous psychosis and headed toward the highest rank; a rank that far surpassed his natural ability and, one that in the end he actually reached.

We all want everyone to see us through this lens and we expect the breezes of forgiveness and pardon to constantly blow in our surroundings. All of us want to refer our past and present to the climate of tolerance and forbearance that melts, transforms, cleans, and purifies and then to walk toward the future securely, without feeling any anxiety. We do not want our past to be criticized or our future to be darkened because of our present. All of us expect love and respect for a whole lifetime, hope for tolerance and forgiveness, and want to be embraced with feelings of liberality and affection. We expect tolerance and forgiveness from our parents in response to mischievousness at home, from our teachers in response to our misbehavior at school, from those innocent victims toward whom we have acted unjustly and oppressed, from the judge and prosecutor in court, from our army commanders, from police officers and from the Judge of Judges in the Highest Tribunal.

However, deserving what we expect is very important. Anyone who does not forgive has no right to expect forgiveness. Everyone will receive disrespect to the degree that he has been disrespectful. Anyone who does not love is not worthy of being loved. Those who do not embrace all of humankind with tolerance and forgiveness have lost their worthiness to receive forgiveness and pardon. An unfortunate one who curses others does not have the right to expect respect from others. Those who curse will be cursed and those who beat will be beaten. If true Muslims observed such Qur’anic principles as the following and were to go on their way and tolerate curses deep in their breasts, then others would appear in order to implement the justice of Destiny on those who cursed us.

When they meet hollow words or unseemly behavior, they pass them by with dignity.(Furqan 25:72)

If you behave tolerantly, overlook, and forgive (their faults) . . . (Taghabun 64:14)

In countries rife with corruption, intolerance, and mercilessness, such things as freedom of thought, polite criticism, and the exchange of ideas according to norms of equity and fairminded debate are absent; it would be meaningless to talk of the results of logic and inspiration. In my opinion, this must be the real reason that for years no progress has been made, in spite of plenty of empty boasting.

For years, there have been numerous examples of immorality-my values do not allow me to speak about them openly-although their perpetrators have received their share of tolerance. Despite this, attempts continue to be made to label innocent people as “backward fanatics who support theocratic regimes.” “Fundamentalism” is another fashionable term with which to smear them. Moreover, Islam has been accused of not keeping up with the times. We frequently observe with sorrow today that those who did nothing more than express their religious feelings have been branded as reactionaries, fanatics, and fundamentalists. Unfortunately some people do not distinguish between being truly religious and blind fanaticism.

It is not possible to talk about common ideas or a collective consciousness in communities where individuals do not look upon one another with tolerance or in countries where the spirit of forbearance has not become fully entrenched. In such countries, ideas will devour one another in the web of conflict. The work of thinkers will be futile, and in such countries it will not be possible to establish sound thought or freedom of belief or thought. These things will not be allowed to flourish. In fact, it cannot be said that in such a country the state has been based on a true system of justice; even if this appears to be the case, it is nothing more than a sham. Actually, in a place where there is no tolerance, it is not possible to talk about a healthy media, scholarly thought, or pertinent cultural activities either. What we see when we look at the things that carry such names are only some fruitless, one-sided efforts made according to certain thoughts and a certain philosophy; expecting something fresh, beneficial and promising for the future from these is futile.

Within this framework, servants become engrossed in a combined feeling of fear and hope. Away from the sight of others, we supplicate from the heart only to God, and pray in secret. This sentiment, which is reflected in The Qur’an 7:55, describes an essential element of prayer that we must observe while praying. However, only the Legislator can permit and encourage this attitude at various times, and only He can determine the degree to which it is allowed.

God enjoins us to pray to Him only, in fear as well as full of hope and to know that His Mercy is with those whose hearts beat with the consciousness of His constant supervision over them. (7:56) He even shows us the door toward which we should walk, and teaches us the rules and principles of how to wait in front of it.

Turning to God all the time and in every condition, opening our hands in supplication, and revealing our concerns and problems to Him are all an honor and an initial prize. In addition, they are very significant initial steps taken to earn a favorable response from Him. He states: If my servants direct their wishes to Me, they must know that I am closer to them than anything else. I respond to the prayer of those who turn to Me with prayers. (2:186) However, there is a condition: All of these prayers and supplications are to be performed as indicated in: You pray from the heart with utmost sincerity and seeking God’s pleasure. (7:29, 40:14, 65) Instead of praying when among people, as if showing off to others, we should entreat the All-Knowing God, Whose hearing and seeing is worth far more than any person’s, by sighing in secret and with utmost sincerity, in complete privacy so that we are closed to others but open to Him. Meeting these conditions will enable us to implore Him with the alchemy of secrecy, and will prevent our voices and sighs from being fouled with the sparks of irrelevant thoughts.

No one returns empty-handed from His court. In fact, those people who pour out their deepest needs and desires, and present such personal grievances about themselves only to Him, are drawn closer to Him. They have to ask the One Who can meet all of their needs, just as they have to complain to a doctor who can heal their illnesses.

Each servant who enters the Nearest One’s Presence is required to be in possession of his or her self and in full control of his or her speech, vocal vibrations, and groaning. Moreover, each servant’s mind, intelligence, and senses must be in a receptive state.

Loyal servants frequently filter their thoughts and supplications through their intentions and sincerity, for they strive to keep their expressions and feelings free of any disturbance. They become like mute people so that no one can hear them, to such a degree that they even become jealous of their own voice and words.

In addition to being sincere while praying, servants should search for moments and seconds during which their pulses beat with the remembrance of God. They should make full use of holy days and nights, for these are the times when divine blessings pour forth. Especially when it is time to pray and to break the fast, all prostrations and bows should be performed in such a way that not even one second is wasted. Loyal and sincere servants are expected to fulfill these obligations, for doing so is essential for the prayer to be accepted. As all such servants know, a prayer may be answered either positively or negatively, or circumstances may ‘become’ favorable or unfavorable.

Believers in God do not mind if summer is as cold as winter, if spring seems to resemble autumn, or if days become as dark as blind graves. Who cares about darkness when God reminds us of His All-Encompassing Power: Who saves you from the darkness of the land and the sea when you pray in destitute?! (6:63) Who cares about such things when God makes His Existence known in their conscience by saying: Who else, other than God, accepts the prayers of the poor and takes care of their problems?! (27:62)

The Qur’an is the Divine Book that guides us through existence, interprets events, and interprets both the macro- and micro-worlds. It is the language of the World of the Unseen in this life; a contract of divine blessings for humanity; and the essence, essential nature, glory, and light of Islam. As if that were not enough, it is also the map for the worlds of the afterlife, a means of happiness for believers, and a book of prayer.

The Qur’an introduces a prayer by glorifying Him, and then asks to be set on the straight path as it sets off, sprinkling its most brilliant jewels with Surat al-Fatihah. Next comes Surat al-Baqarah, which calls us to pray by means of implicit expressions of prayer, raising its voice with the tune of its explicitness, and teaches us what to ask from God: Our Lord! Grant us good in this world and good in the Hereafter (2:201). After a few pages, it shows us the greenhouses and shelters in which we can shelter while facing difficult conditions and asking for help: Our Lord, pour down upon us patience (endurance), make our steps firm (make our foothold sure), and help us against the unbelievers (2:250).

The last verse of this surah points to the following prayer, which is a gift from the Prophet’s Ascension and which should be repeated constantly: Our Lord, do not punish us if we forget or make a mistake. Our Lord, do not lay on us a burden as You did on those before us. Our Lord, do not impose upon us that which we have not the strength to bear. Pardon us and grant us protection, and have mercy upon us. You are our Patron, so help us against the unbelievers. (2:286)

The next surah, Surat Al-i ‘Imran, also starts with and reminds all believers of a very significant prayer: Our Lord, do not let our hearts deviate now after You have guided us. But grant us Mercy from Your Presence, for You are the Grantor of bounties without measure. (3:8) A few verses later on, we are invited again with an allusion to the prayers of the pious, who supplicate with the following cries: Our Lord, we have indeed believed. Forgive us, then, our sins, and save us from the agony of the Fire (3:16) and: Our Lord, we believe in what You have revealed and we follow the Messenger, so write us down with those who bear witness. (3:53) These draw our attention to the supplication of Jesus’ apostles, who also are filled with a sense of responsibility.

Right after this comes a gift of prayer from the mouths of the devout ones, the scholars who gathered around the Messengers and strived: Our Lord, forgive our sins and anything We may have done that transgressed our duty. Establish our feet firmly, and help us against those that resist faith. (3:147) The section of contemplation toward the end of the surah ends with a wish for a good end: Our Lord, lo, we have heard a crier calling unto faith: ‘Believe in your Lord!’ So we believed. Our Lord, therefore forgive our sins, blot out our evil deeds, and make us die the death of the righteous (3:193). Those who shake fearfully, thinking that they have treated themselves unjustly, pray: Our Lord, we have wronged ourselves. If You do not forgive us and have mercy upon us, surely we are of the lost (7:23) and remind us through a distinctive cry that unleashes tremors into our souls. Our Lord comprehends all things in knowledge. In God do we put our trust. Our Lord, decide with truth between us and our folk, for You are the best of those who decide (7:89) whispers a unique style of entreaty of a submissive Prophet who murmurs ‘establishment of justice’ with full confidence, asking for God’s action against an extremely impertinent disbelieving society.

In accordance with the context, the Qur’an frequently presents examples of the Prophet’s supplications, sighs, and pleas for help. For example: You are our Guardian, therefore forgive us and have mercy on us (7:155); O our Lord, do not let us be subjected to the persecution of the unjust people (10:85); and There is no god but You, glory be to You. Surely I am of those who make themselves to suffer loss. (21:87) Hundreds of Qur’anic verses call us to interrogate ourselves, plea, and complain about our evil features. Such verses reveal that prayer is a source of strength for those in charge, a fountain of absolution for those who have committed sins, a solution for the needy, a hand extended to help those struck by disaster, a key to a treasure for the poor, a doctor for the sick, a breeze of hope for the desperate, and a dispatch order of a gift for the oppressed and the victim. The Qur’an always points out that prayer and humble supplications lead to salvation from worldly problems and concerns with the Hereafter, and that those who see (the Book) with the heart and murmur with the soul are traveling toward and praying to God.

In parallel with the Qur’an’s prayer-colored horizon, the life of Prophet Muhammad, the sultan of prayer, is a lacework adorned with entreaties and supplications. He would open hands, turn to his Lord, overflow with thanks and glorification, bow and double himself up in prayer, and constantly supplicate to Him. He did this throughout his life: when he woke up in the morning, lived until the evening, and stood in God’s Presence at night; while performing the ritual ablutions and daily prayers, observing these prayers (each a heavenly ascension), listening to the call for prayer, and during and after each prayer as a means for getting closer to God; while eating, going to bed, traveling, returning from a campaign, confronting an enemy; and while experiencing worldly or heavenly disasters and surprising events, witnessing miraculous events, suffering from illnesses or troubles, and when concerned or pleased with something. Prayer books give more details about all of his prayers and supplications.

Prayer is a mysterious key to His everlasting treasures, a point of support for the poor and hurt, and the most secure shelter for those in distress. Those who step into this shelter are considered to have obtained this key, and the poor, weak, and needy who join this governance attain that for which they had hoped.

The inhabitants of the heavens carry along the sincere prayers of such needy people, who are deprived of any other solution. These destitute people, who are in a state of desolation and demise, know what they are asking for and are aware of what they are doing. They turn to Him and unburden themselves of all thoughts. Such prayers would make the heavens burst into tears; hurricanes threatening the world would change its course, waves overturning everything would calm down, and peace would rise on the horizon. Broken fault lines would surrender to unexpected rulings, and released gases would easily evaporate into the atmosphere. The breeze of such a prayer enlivens Earth and brightens the skies. Hearts beat with exhilaration, and nature rises in order to dance and to send forth smiles.

Through prayer, people offer their sacred requests, which are beyond causes, to the Most Glorified One, and acknowledge that God see whatever is hidden or open. Humanity, as well as the jinns and the angels, pray to Him, especially about issues that subjugate their strength and control, and expect a remedy from Him. However, such a remedy is forthcoming only if we take all of the required measures and fulfill all of the necessary conditions.

O Remedy for all in need! Send a light from Your presence for those suffering in darkness, especially these days, when there is no means left to resort to, social circumstances are in complete disorder; when only the tyrants’ voices are heard everywhere and the people sway and bump into obstacles. Extinguish the fires of tyranny and injustice with Your Infinite Power, destroy the Devil’s homes, and place inescapable collars around the necks’ of the evil ones.

We are not exposed to the winds of inspiration any more, the enthusiasm in our hearts has been subdued, and a stammer has started to appear upon our tongues. Send us a reviving breeze from Your land of mercy. Raise our hopes and goodwill for You to the borders of Your Mercy, give us faithful excitement, and accept us as hopeful supplicants thereof. Untie our tongues so that we do not commit another sin.

We are wronged, fallen, and devastated. Never have we been so far from You. Never have we entered such depths of failure. Never have we been so without You.

O Shelter for the miserable, Power Source for weak, Physician for the ill, and Truthful Guide for the lost! Once more we take refuge in You and unburden ourselves to You. We have been chasing after useless things and longing for the fulfillment of ridiculous dreams. Those whom we approached with hope and in whom we trusted never even looked at or paid any attention to us. No one but You have heard our voices and caressed our heads. Our feelings have been mocked, and our thoughts have been regarded as crimes. So many places have been sabotaged, fires of mutual separation have been inflamed, and all of what has been committed now hurts the purity of the faith.

Broken-down feelings, clumsy behaviors, souls in the dirt, feeble feet, paralyzed hands ‘ most of us have lost all hope ‘ the weather is foggy-gray ‘ people in the West are filled with longing ‘ people in the East are in need of Your blessings. We have come to You in such chaos. We are neither the first nor the last to come. Your Mercy is the door of hope for those who regret, and we are pitiful beggars in front of this door. Until now, all who have waited by Your door have returned with a blessing, and no fugitive or repentant person has ever been rejected. It is Your door, and thus it differs from others because only it opens upon the forgiveness that You bestow upon all those who wait by it. Strengthen us with Your mildness and peace. Make Your Existence heard by the tyrants.

O the Sultan of the exalted throne Who answers all prayers! Thousands, hundreds of thousands of us stand in Your Presence now. Opening our hands to You and knocking upon Your door of mercy, which is always open or at least ajar, we sigh. We believe from the depths of our hearts that You see and watch over everyone and everything, that You show compassion for every praying voice and person. Therefore, we ignore our disobedience for the time being, imagine our sins washed away in the falls of Your Mercy, and disregard our faults while regarding Your forgiveness. If You exist ‘ You are the only One who exists on its own ‘ we cannot be deserted. If You are our companion, then who cares about the wilderness that surrounds us on all sides?! As long as You are together with us, it does not matter even if Satan and his followers are everywhere. You are the one and only Sovereign over everything, and Your ruling cannot be overthrown. You see the smallest thing, hear the most silent sound in the domain of Your Sovereignty, and do not discard anything or anyone without a reply.

Yet again do we present ourselves at Your door, which is as large as Your Mercy, with the capacity that You have given us to ask from You, and with the belief that You will grant us our wishes. You know our situation, and so what we are going to tell You is just a small part of Your Knowledge. Give us a remedy for all the troubles that we have suffered from for centuries. O Most Merciful, Most Compassionate, accept our prayers!

But you don’t know what she did to me! Why didn’t he remember our anniversary? Why weren’t my parents more loving? Sound familiar? Of course, because we have all faced these or similar problems.

Most of us grew up learning that we should try to forgive others. Dr. Luskin, director and co-founder of the Standard University Forgiveness Project, has conducted several studies on forgiveness as a source of various medical and health benefits as well.

He writes: Scientific research clearly shows that learning to forgive is good for one’s health and well-being good for mental health and according to recent data good for physical health as well gratitude, faith, and care have a positive impact on cardiovascular functioning Almost uniformly, the forgiveness studies show positive results in psychological and emotional well-being. People who are taught to forgive become less angry, more hopeful, less depressed, less anxious, less stressed, more confident, and they learn to like themselves more (pp. 77-78).

Dr. Luskin’s main point is that forgiving others helps us lead a more satisfying and fulfilling life. Each of us stores pain from unrealized goals, failed relationships, personal failures, and so on. Over time, it begins to take over our lives and thwart our quest for happiness.

His techniques rest on several foundations, among them identifying your grievance story, starting with the small hurts and working up to the big ones, practicing forgiveness, realizing that forgiveness does not necessarily involve reconciliation or acceptance, understanding that you are the only one suffering, and concluding that it is time to let go and move on.

Some of his techniques are the following:

– PERT (The Positive Emotion Refocusing Technique). Do we watch the Grievance Channel, home of such popular re-runs as I Had Rotten Parents, My Life Was Unfair, or My Parents Mistreated Me? Why are we not switching (recognizing and taking responsibility for our situation) to the Gratitude, Beauty, Forgiveness, or Love channels?

Other elements of PERT are the breath of thanks. Breathe in and out slowly, be aware that you are breathing, and give thanks that you can breathe and are alive. Then apply the heart focus, by bringing to mind a very positive memory and allow the associated feelings of peace and love to engulf you.

– Challenging unenforceable rules. As we cannot control everything and are imperfect, others will continue to disappoint us. Why get mad at them for being human? We are not perfect, so why should we expect them to be perfect? In short, we need to hope for something instead of demand something of others and ourselves.

– HEAL. Hope (for a specific outcome in a specific situation), Educate (limited control results in something unexpected), Affirm (reconnect to your goal by affirming your positive intention), and Long-term (make a long-term commitment to your long-range well-being).

Dr. Luskin recommends practicing these exercises several times a day in a secluded place. Set aside about 15 minutes for each session, and work toward becoming a forgiving person. Acknowledge your submerged anger and pain, decide how to deal with these negative feelings that are harming your emotional balance and physical health, remember how much better you felt the last time you forgave someone, and then do it. This will transform you into someone who finds it natural to forgive and thereby deprive others of their negative power over you.

In our agitated world of ever-rising expectations, this book is just what we need. As Dr. Luskin shows, a dose of realism and forgiving people’s imperfections will lead each of us toward a more fulfilling life. And isn’t that what we all want?

Human beings are likely to lean toward certain circumstances in life. Sometimes individuals are like fields of crops that bend with the wind; at other times they are like large trees that have fallen over and rise again, despite their outward dignity and strength. Individuals give the angels many reasons for envying them; unfortunately, they also do things that sometimes cause even the devils to feel shame.

Although not desired, human nature makes sin inevitable. Given this, forgiveness is everything.

However beneficial it is for us to ask for and expect forgiveness, to moan and groan for what has escaped us, forgiving is a much greater attribute and virtue. Forgiveness cannot be separated from virtue, just as virtue cannot be separated from forgiveness. There is a very common, yet very profound, saying: “Errors from the small, forgiveness from the great.” How well this is said! Being forgiven means being repaired, returning to an essence, and finding oneself again. Given this, the most pleasing action in the view of the Infinite Mercy is the one-seeking forgiveness-pursued amidst the palpitations of this return and search.

All of creation was introduced to forgiveness through humanity. Just as God showed His attribute of Forgiveness through us, He put the beauty of forgiving into our hearts. While Adam and Eve dealt a blow to their human essence through falling, which was somehow a requirement of their human nature, it was forgiveness that came from the Heavens in response to the remorse they felt in their consciences and pleadings.

For centuries, we have preserved this Divine gift received through the first couple as a hope and a consolation. Whenever we sin, we can mount on the magic transport of seeking forgiveness and surmount the shame and despair caused by sin. We attain to Infinite Mercy and show our generosity by covering our eyes to the sins of others.

Thanks to this hope of forgiveness, we can rise above the dark clouds invading our horizon and see light in this world. Those fortunate ones who are aware of the uplifting wings of forgiveness live amidst melodies that gladden their spirits.

Those who devote themselves to seeking forgiveness cannot help but think of forgiving others. Just as we like to be forgiven, we also like to forgive. How can we not forgive when we know that salvation from the fire of suffering in our inner worlds, caused by our own mistakes, is possible only by drinking from the river of forgiveness? And even more so, if we know that the road to being forgiven passes through forgiving?

Those who forgive are honored with forgiveness. Those who do not pardon cannot expect or desire to be pardoned. Those who close the road of tolerance are beasts who have lost their humanity. Such brutes, who have never felt inclined to take themselves to task for their sins, will never experience the high solace of forgiveness.

Jesus said to a crowd with rocks in their hands, as they were taking a sinner to be stoned: “Let one who has never sinned throw the first stone” (John 8:7) Can anyone who understands this binding, fine point even think of stoning someone else when there is already a head to be stoned-namely, his or her own? If only those unfortunate ones who spend their lives putting the lives of others to a litmus test could understand this!

It is true that a criminal deserving punishment will be punished. However, no one cannot say that there is a sentence for stoning those upon whom our malice and hatred have passed judgment. Unless we destroy the idol in our ego as courageously as Abraham did, we will never be able to make a correct decision in the name of our ego or in the name of others.

Forgiveness emerged with humanity and reached perfection through humanity. In this respect, we witness in the greatest people the greatest forgiveness and impeccable tolerance.

Malice and hatred are seeds of hell scattered in society by evil people. In contrast to those who encourage malice and hatred and turn the land into a pit of hell, we should run with forgiveness to rescue those who have uncountable troubles and are being pushed into the abyss. The excesses of those who do not forgive or show tolerance made the past one or two centuries the dirtiest and most unpleasant in history. It is impossible not to be chilled by the thought that these unfortunate ones may rule the future.

For this reason, the greatest gift today’s generation can give to its children and grandchildren is to teach them how to forgive even the crudest behavior and the most upsetting events. However, thinking of forgiving those monstrous, ill-natured people who enjoy making others suffer would involve showing disrespect to the very idea of forgiveness. As we have no right to forgive them, forgiving them would be showing disrespect to humanity. I do not believe that anyone would consider as acceptable an act that shows disrespect to forgiveness.

Members of a generation raised in an environment characterized by hostility always saw horror and brutality in the arenas of the dark world into which they were pushed. They saw blood and pus even at daybreak. What could be learned from a society whose voice, breath, thought, and smile were tainted with blood?

Everything presented to them was exactly opposite and contrary to what they needed and desired. Such people have assumed a second nature due to years of neglect and wrong suggestions, and the disorder and sedition they made has become a flood. If only at this moment we could understand them. Alas! Where is such insight?

Forgiveness and tolerance will heal most of our wounds, but only if this celestial instrument is in the hands of those who understand its language. Otherwise, the incorrect treatment we have used until now will create many complications and continue to confuse us.

Know the illness, then set out to treat it medically:
Do you think any ointment is a cure for any wound?
(Ziya Pasha)

While it is true that crimes committed against an individual usually affect society as well, in many cases it is the victims whose rights are directly violated (Udeh 1990, p.l94). Since they suffer directly from the crime, they should have a role in the process of ‘punishment’ or ‘pardoning’, a process which concerns them, both physically and emotionally, at least as much as it concerns society. In modern Western legal systems, consideration of victims’ rights is a separate procedure from the punishment process. But a legal system that aims to compensate victims needs to consider ‘emotional’ as well as ‘material’ suffering.

Involvement of the victims in the punishment process should not be regarded simply as a means of giving them access to retaliation or retribution; it is also a highly effective means of emotional release for victims. Whatever punishment is decreed by the court, if the victims are not consulted, they may feel ‘let down’ by the system. Involving them can help restore credibility to the legal system, as well as having, in certain cultures, an extra deterrent affect on potential criminals.

2. Offender and victim

The concept of victim involvement is well established in the Islamic system, but is relatively new in the West and has not yet been systematically worked out. Until the 1990s, Western legal systems were primarily concerned with the rights of suspects and offenders. Since then, attention has increasingly been drawn to direct involvement of victims. A revised and strengthened Victim’s Charter was published in 1996 along with Guidance to Services from the Association of Chief Officers of Probation (ACOP, 1996). It envisages consultation of the victims before decisions are made about release conditions of offenders serving long sentences (see Nettleton et al., 1976, p.3). Some argued that providing information to victims about release plans for offenders could open the latter to (possibly violent) reprisal, (Kosh and Williams 1995, p.15) and in any case, had the offender not been punished already? On the victims’ side, Nettleton et al. (1997a) noted that: ‘… it was not uncommon for victims of serious offences to move house, even moving to a completely new area, on hearing that an offender was likely to be allowed to resettle in their mutual home area.’ In such a case the law effectively allows an offender to once more offend against the same victim.

3. Crimes committed against individuals and society

Every crime which harms an individual may also harm the society. Depending on the level of injury to the individual or society, the punishment in the Islamic legal system is classified under three broad categories as hadd, ta’zir and qisas or diyya.

3. 1. Hadd, (‘limit’, ‘restrictive ordinance’) refers to the five offences of zina (‘fornication’ or ‘adultery’), ‘false accusation, ‘wine-drinking’, ‘theft’ and ‘highway robbery’ for which fixed penalties are laid down in the Shari‘a. Such acts are essentially regarded as crimes against God (Heyd, 1973, p.340). The punishment prescribed by the Law cannot be reduced or increased even in response to the promptings of compassion (Siddiqi 1979, p.8).

3. 2. Ta’zir is a discretionary punishment aimed at deterrence and, where that is appropriate, reform of the offender.

3. 3. Qisas is a divine ordinance restricting retribution to parity with the crime (life for life, injury for injury, etc.). Right of retribution may be waived in favour of blood-money or diyya (Heyd 1973, p.339); further, even this compensation may be waived by the victim in favour of outright forgiveness.. Yusuf Ali (1989, p.71) states that the translation ‘retaliation’ for qisas is incorrect. Retaliation carries the sense of returning evil for evil, which is what happened in the blood-feuds of the pre-Islamic period: the crime and its consequences were kept going by the feuds, not resolved and put an end to. Qisas means that one who has committed a particular crime may be lawfully punished in the same way and to the same degree as his crime, unless the victim (or representative of the victim) accepts compensation, or chooses outright forgiveness. Whether retribution or forgiveness is chosen, the aim is to close the circle on the crime, and not to let it persist.

4. The involvement of the victim in the punishment process

Of the three choices open to the victim, retribution, compensation, outright forgiveness, the Qur’an commends the Muslims to agree a settlement or to forgive the offender. The injured party (plaintiff or victim’s next of kin) is permitted to pardon the culprit altogether or to make a ‘settlement’ (sulh) with him (Heyd 1973, p.339), but retribution remains a legal right.

Western discussions of qisas translate it as retaliation, which connotes vindictiveness or revenge rather than redress of a wrong by equalizing the harm (Bassiouni 1982, p.203).

The Qur’an in this matter continues the tradition of the Judaeo-Christian teachings concerning law of eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth. As we noted, this law forbids the victim or victim’s family to demand more in punishment than was suffered. This practice proved its effectiveness in preserving social order in the early period of Islam when there was no organized system of criminal justice and penalties were carried out by the victim or victim’s family rather than by institutions and their official personnel (Bassiouni 1982, p.204).

One of the aims of qisas is to limit the consequences of certain categories of wrongdoing. Furthermore, some provisions in the Qur’an indicate that the retributive punishment must be inflicted in the manner least likely to aggravate the situation. The principle satisfies the general human need to have justice done on the perpetrator of crime while precluding unnecessary harm. That general human need can also be satisfied by the state or community acting for and on behalf of the victim, as most contemporary systems of criminal justice aspire to do.

The alternative penalty called diyya (or compensation) to be paid by the wrong-doer or his family to the victim or his/her family. Diyya is payable in certain cases of homicide and bodily harm upon a scale proportionate to the degree of incapacity or injury caused (Heyd, 1973: 338). The principle of diyya finds analogous expression in the contemporary science of victimology, whereby compensation emphasizes decriminalization of the act and compensation of the victim as an alternative to the traditional punishment of incarceration. As

between qisas and diyya, the Qur’an clearly commends the latter and forgiveness (2.178). The preference illustrates the bond of continuity between temporal law and religion since the forgiver will be rewarded in heaven, which, for a Muslim, is a much greater reward than any other. Thus, the combination of diyya and forgiveness produces a powerful material and spiritual inducement to forgo retribution (Bassiouni 1982, p.205). When the victim has the right and the choice to demand punishment or pardon the offender, in many cases, the victim chooses to forgive. One of the reasons behind this preference is that the victim believes that he will be rewarded by the God for his forgiveness.

Finally, critics of Islam wrongly imagine that punishments must be inflicted every day and on a mass scale. They also fancy that Islamic societies daily witness flogging, hand-cutting and stoning to death. The fact is that such deterrent punishments have been executed very rarely. For example, the punishment for theft was carried out only six times over a period of four hundred years-clear proof that such punishment was primarily meant to prevent crime (Siddiqi 1979, p.40).

5. The effects of the involvement of the victim

The systematic involvement of the victim in the punishment process is unique to Islam. It makes two important contributions in the criminal justice field. Firstly, involvement of the victim appeases the victim who otherwise feels shunned or ignored by the legal system. It is the victim who suffers from the crime first, and therefore must have a say in the punishment or pardoning of the offender.

Secondly, the involvement of the victim in the punishment process may also have a deterrent effect on likely offenders. Some offenders may be happy to commit certain acts and face the legal punishment which sometimes, for them, may be a very short imprisonment. But if they believe that their victim(s) might have a say in the punishment which they face, this may deter them. We may also add, here, the spiritual and moral force of forgiveness, if that option is chosen by the victim or victim’s party, in inwardly reforming the offender through practical demonstration of unselfishness.

6. Forgiveness as an option

There are many verses in the New Testament which urge, if not quite require, the victim to forgive the offender (Matthew 18. 21-35; Acts 13. 26- 39; Ephesians 4.32-32; Luke 6.27-31): ‘But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who ill-treat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him taking your tunic’ (Luke 6. 27-29).

By contrast, the Qur’an commends but does not require the victim to forgive the aggressor: ‘O you who believe! The law of equality is prescribed to you in cases of murder; the free for the free, the slave for the slave, the women for the women, but if a remission is made by the brother of the slain, then grant any reasonable demand and compensate him with handsome gratitude. This is a concession and a mercy from your Lord. After this whoever exceeds the limits shall be in grave chastisement.’ (2.178)

The option to forgive is a right that belongs to the victim, not to the court. Most legal systems, if not all, do countenance, for particular reasons and in different ways, a reduction or even suspension of punishment. My argument, based upon the Qur’an, is that, just as victims may not demand a punishment greater than is prescribed by law, so too the court may not deny their right to either reduce the punishment prescribed or forgive the crime outright.

The New Testament, as we saw, requires Christians to forgive; no other option is sanctioned by the religion-not retribution, nor compensation-only forgiveness. In a famous text the ancient lex talionis is almost explicitly abrogated: ‘You have heard that it was said, “An eye for an eye and tooth for a tooth.” But now I tell you: do not take revenge on someone who wrongs you. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, let him slap your left cheek too. And if someone takes you to court to sue for your shirt let him have your coat as well.’ (New Testament, 1976, p.14).

Is this a sustainable way for society to deal with crime, or to restore the moral and emotional order which crime violates? Legal punishment has its root in the natural impulse to revenge a wrong suffered. The impulse is gratified through retaliation by or on behalf of the victim. Later, this retaliation is taken on by the state on behalf of society in general and the victim in particular. Indeed, it has been argued that the state’s assumption of the function of revenge is what constituted the beginning of criminal law (Dakkak 1994:88).

Requiring the victim to forgive the aggressor outright without the option of a measured, legally defined, retribution, goes against human nature. It denies a vital need, individual and collective, for redress which has a deterrent function as well as a role in restoring a violated moral and emotional equilibrium. In sum, the human need for redress should not be left out any more than the human desire to forgive should be left out.

Conclusion

Modern Western legal systems are adapted to a philosophy that regards the individual’s life in this world as the be-all and end-all. Very often criminals are treated very leniently because, it is argued, they are victims of circumstances, psychological complexes, nervous disorders, beyond their control. This attitude is contrary to natural justice insofar as it denies to the victims of crime their need to forgive if they choose and are able, or to agree to a compensatory settlement, or to demand the prescribed punishment. Giving the victims a say in the punishment process, according to the Islamic pattern described above, returns to victims their rights and duties in a matter that directly concerns them, and concerns them most. It constitutes a major contribution to the field of victimology and is, characteristically of Islam, a supremely well-balanced approach. It is high time Western legal philosophy and procedures took note of it and learnt from it.

References

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