The careful manager in the cell

Hidden inside almost every cell is a small sensor called mTORC1. It acts like a careful manager, always checking if food is available. When we eat—especially meals rich in proteins and sugars—this sensor knows. It sends a clear message: “It’s time to build.” Our bodies start making new proteins, storing energy, and growing stronger. Without this, we couldn’t heal from daily wear or keep ourselves sturdy over time.

Research has shown that mTORC1 is a key piece in how our bodies decide when to grow and how to balance resources, connecting what we eat directly to how we age and how diseases develop (Liu and Sabatini, 2020) (Valvezan and Manning, 2019).

The routine cleaning in the cell

But there’s also another critical part of this system. When mTORC1 is active, it slows down the cell’s built-in cleaning process, called autophagy. During autophagy, cells remove and recycle damaged or old parts, making room for fresh, healthy components. It’s like doing routine cleaning and repairs in a home so problems don’t build up. Without it, small issues add up, and things start breaking down.

Recent reviews have shown how essential this process is, with disruptions in autophagy linked to conditions such as obesity, diabetes, heart disease, and problems with brain health (Klionsky et al., 2021).

The natural order was created in such a way that these two states—building up and clearing out—alternate, each serving a purpose in sustaining life and health. When food is plentiful, our bodies focus on growth. When food becomes scarce, even for short periods, mTORC1 quiets, and cells switch from building to essential repair. This built-in cycle helps maintain health over the long term.

In modern life, however, this balance is easily lost. Food is not only always available, but also often designed to be extremely appealing. Many meals are made with combinations of salt, sugar, and fats that encourage us to keep eating long after hunger is gone. This means mTORC1 stays switched on far more often than intended. Our bodies remain in growth mode every day, with little opportunity to slow down and do the necessary cleaning inside.

At first, this might not seem like a big problem. But over months and years, it quietly adds up. Waste builds up in our cells. Tissues lose some of their strength. The natural systems that once kept everything balanced start to slow down, weighed down by what should have been cleared away long ago. As a result, even though people today often live longer than past generations, illnesses tied to this imbalance—like obesity, type 2 diabetes, heart disease, and liver issues—have become extremely common.

This is only made worse by the kinds of foods many people now eat. Large studies confirm that diets high in ultra-processed, heavily flavored foods are directly linked to more obesity, metabolic problems, and heart disease (Lane et al., 2024). It’s one of the most surprising problems of our time: we suffer not because we lack food, but because we have too much, too often, with too few breaks.

Ancient wisdom prescribes fasting

Remarkably, ancient wisdom long urged moderation and fasting, echoing what science now confirms.

“Eat and drink, but do not be excessive. Surely, He does not love those who waste.” (Qur’an 7:31)

This advice is not just about polite behavior or humility. It protects the very patterns our bodies rely on for health. By holding back from always eating, we give our bodies the chance to slow down and do the internal work that keeps us strong.

The Qur’an also links fasting to building awareness and self-restraint:

“O you who believe, fasting is prescribed for you as it was prescribed for those before you, so that you may become mindful.” (Qur’an 2:183)

Fasting is a tradition shared by many faiths, from Islam to Christianity and Judaism. It is more than simply going without food. It opens up space—both physically inside the body, and mentally inside the heart.

Today, researchers are learning exactly why this matters. Periods of fasting, or even simply having time between meals, allow mTORC1 to quiet down. This lets autophagy rise, so cells can clear out waste and fix what is worn. Major reviews in respected journals show that fasting helps switch the body from growth into repair, improving metabolism, reducing inflammation, and even extending healthy years of life (de Cabo and Mattson, 2019).

A clearer mind

People who fast often notice more than just physical changes. Many describe a clearer mind, a deeper gratitude for simple foods, and a sense of being lighter—not only in their bodies, but also in their outlook. In this way, fasting becomes like pressing a reset button, not only for the body, but for the heart and mind too.

What’s even more striking is how these practices help the brain. New studies show that fasting and careful eating patterns support memory, focus, and emotional resilience (Kapogiannis et al., 2024, Longo and Mattson, 2014). It seems the same systems that clean and repair our cells also clear away some of the mental clutter that weighs on our thoughts.

Eat thoughtfully

This does not mean we need harsh or extreme fasting to find balance. Even small habits can help. Waiting until we feel genuine hunger. Choosing simpler foods that truly nourish instead of just excite. Eating slowly enough to notice when we feel satisfied rather than full. Allowing some time between meals so the body can quietly repair itself. These small steps help keep the natural cycles of building and cleaning moving, supporting health that many today have quietly lost.

Beyond biology, moderation shapes our character. It builds contentment—the ability to enjoy what we already have instead of always chasing more. It teaches patience, showing us how to sit with small discomforts calmly. It grows compassion. By sometimes feeling hunger ourselves, we better understand those who face it daily. Our hearts soften, and we become more grateful for the blessings we have.

This way, eating thoughtfully becomes more than just a health choice. It becomes a way to remember God and show thanks for what He provides. With each meal approached with care, we give thanks not only in our words, but also through how we live.

Many of the health struggles common today can be traced back to ignoring these built-in patterns. When we eat constantly, our bodies stay in growth mode, never taking the needed time to clean and restore. When we always want more, we lose the simple joy that comes from recognizing what is already enough.

It is quietly powerful that as science learns more about metabolism and how cells work, it keeps returning to truths faith traditions have long taught. Careful studies repeatedly show that cycles of eating balanced with gentle hunger protect us, keeping our bodies strong, our minds clearer, and our lives more stable. These modern findings do not replace old truths—they help us see them more clearly and value them even more.

“Eat and drink, but do not be excessive.”
“Fast, so that you may become mindful.”

These verses bring together both our physical needs and our spiritual growth. They invite us to live according to the way God created us, thriving through a pattern that balances growth with careful renewal.

For each of us, this is a calm invitation. It does not call for harsh denial, but for wise care. It might mean waiting for true hunger before eating, savoring each bite, or stopping once we are satisfied. It might mean picking foods that leave us feeling healthy rather than heavy. Or simply leaving a little space between meals so our bodies can quietly do the work they were designed to do.

Most of all, it invites us to reflect. To recognize that tiny switches like mTORC1 respond constantly to how we eat, shaping our health, thoughts, and even moods. And to remember that long before we discovered these details, we were given guidance that leads us kindly toward this balance.

In the end, lasting health and deeper gratitude may not come from every new diet or headline. They may be found instead by returning to timeless guidance — eating with care, respecting gentle hunger, and remembering with each meal the One who created us so perfectly to thrive in this balance.

References

• De Cabo, R. & Mattson, M. P. 2019. Effects of Intermittent Fasting on Health, Aging, and Disease. N Engl J Med, 381, 2541-2551.
• Kapogiannis, D., Manolopoulos, A., Mullins, R., Avgerinos, K., Delgado-Peraza, F., Mustapic, M., Nogueras-Ortiz, C., Yao, P. J., Pucha, K. A., Brooks, J., Chen, Q., Haas, S. S., Ge, R., Hartnell, L. M., Cookson, M. R., Egan, J. M., Frangou, S. & Mattson, M. P. 2024. Brain responses to intermittent fasting and the healthy living diet in older adults. Cell Metab, 36, 1668-1678 e5.
• Klionsky, D. J., Petroni, G., Amaravadi, R. K., Baehrecke, E. H., Ballabio, A., Boya, P., Bravo-San Pedro, J. M., Cadwell, K., Cecconi, F., Choi, A. M. K., Choi, M. E., Chu, C. T., Codogno, P., Colombo, M. I., Cuervo, A. M., Deretic, V., Dikic, I., Elazar, Z., Eskelinen, E. L., Fimia, G. M., Gewirtz, D. A., Green, D. R., Hansen, M., Jaattela, M., Johansen, T., Juhasz, G., Karantza, V., Kraft, C., Kroemer, G., Ktistakis, N. T., Kumar, S., Lopez-Otin, C., Macleod, K. F., Madeo, F., Martinez, J., Melendez, A., Mizushima, N., Munz, C., Penninger, J. M., Perera, R. M., Piacentini, M., Reggiori, F., Rubinsztein, D. C., Ryan, K. M., Sadoshima, J., Santambrogio, L., Scorrano, L., Simon, H. U., Simon, A. K., Simonsen, A., Stolz, A., Tavernarakis, N., Tooze, S. A., Yoshimori, T., Yuan, J., Yue, Z., Zhong, Q., Galluzzi, L. & Pietrocola, F. 2021. Autophagy in major human diseases. Embo J, 40,
• Lane, M. M., Gamage, E., Du, S., Ashtree, D. N., Mcguinness, A. J., Gauci, S., Baker, P., Lawrence, M., Rebholz, C. M., Srour, B., Touvier, M., Jacka, F. N., O’neil, A., Segasby, T. & Marx, W. 2024. Ultra-processed food exposure and adverse health outcomes: umbrella review of epidemiological meta-analyses. BMJ, 384,
• Liu, G. Y. & Sabatini, D. M. 2020. mTOR at the nexus of nutrition, growth, ageing and disease. Nat Rev Mol Cell Biol, 21, 183-203.
• Longo, V. D. & Mattson, M. P. 2014. Fasting: molecular mechanisms and clinical applications. Cell Metab, 19, 181-92.
• Valvezan, A. J. & Manning, B. D. 2019. Molecular logic of mTORC1 signalling as a metabolic rheostat. Nat Metab, 1, 321-333.

One of the important concepts in Abrahamic faiths is thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving is a profound sense of gratitude that involves recognizing aspects of our biological structure for which to be thankful. According to research, it has various positive effects on both physical and emotional well-being. “Whoever is grateful, it is for the benefit of his own soul” (Qur’an 31:12). Throughout history, religious leaders and philosophers worldwide have expressed ideas about the essence of thanksgiving. One of the primary reasons many believers inquire about each other’s well-being is to create an opportunity to express gratitude to God. In this way, those who ask and express gratitude engage in an act of worship together, preparing the ground to benefit from material and spiritual blessings.

The feeling of gratitude, at the heart of thanksgiving, helps us turn to God wholeheartedly; it gains the value of worship through the acknowledgment of its true source. In recent years, particularly in the fields of neuroanatomy and genetics, various studies have begun to highlight the biological influences and outcomes of feelings like gratitude.

Brain structure and gratitude

One aspect of gratitude’s connection to healing, satisfaction, and happiness is that it serves as a reward for both our worldly life and our state of mind. True gratitude occurs with the full recognition of the blessing, as appreciating the giver of the blessing is largely dependent on recognizing the blessing itself.

Magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) scans of brain tissue have shown that people with a developed sense of gratitude have more gray matter. Gray matter, responsible for processing information, functions more effectively in learning and decision-making mechanisms for those who are consistently in a state of gratitude. According to studies, the limbic system, responsible for emotional experiences in the brain, helps control challenging emotions such as sadness, anger, and anxiety when gratitude is felt. Those with a strong sense of gratitude have healthier nervous systems, as gratitude suppresses problem-producing mechanisms and activates problem-solving systems. Gratitude is an active form of thinking that disables most of the negative emotions of the ego. Many negative emotions lying in the subconscious, such as jealousy, greed, hatred, ambition, laziness, and arrogance, are related to ingratitude. Gratitude cleanses these layers of negative emotions, but it requires serious effort to recognize and appreciate the blessings we have received.

The prefrontal lobes of the brain contain regions involved in empathy, decision-making, and self-control. Research has shown that feelings of gratitude stimulate these areas of the brain. The hypothalamus, which plays a significant role in regulating sleep cycles, is also activated when we feel gratitude. Feeling gratitude for the blessings received activates the hypothalamus, leading to better quality sleep with positive thoughts. Studies show that even recognizing simple acts of kindness can activate the hypothalamus, thus regulating all body mechanisms it controls. Being in a state of gratitude and recognizing blessings contribute positively to brain health.

Psychological effects

Neurotransmitters—the chemical substances secreted by the brain that transmit stimuli between neurons—affect human emotions. Conversely, human emotions also influence the secretion of these substances. Dopamine and serotonin are two of the most important neurotransmitters responsible for regulating mood. Those who deeply and sincerely feel gratitude secrete more dopamine and serotonin, which have happiness-inducing effects. Dopamine, often called the “motivation molecule,” contributes to feelings of motivation, happiness, and focus. Serotonin, often referred to as the “happiness chemical,” plays a critical role in feelings of well-being and happiness.

When the brain receives enough positive neural signals through gratitude and thanksgiving for endless blessings, these neural pathways strengthen, leading to feelings of happiness and satisfaction that develop with constant and conscious gratitude. Studies show that gratitude, which acts as a natural antidepressant, serves as a bridge between past happy moments and future hopes.

One should not wait to be happy to be grateful; every moment of gratitude increases happiness. (Thanksgiving itself is a blessing and requires its own expressions of gratitude). It is understood that thanksgiving activates the brain’s memory center and the amygdala, reduces the secretion of stress and anxiety-inducing hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline) and improves mood. This leads to stronger heart function and greater resistance to emotional negativity. Long-term research shows that those with a sense of thanksgiving cope better with stress and toxic emotions. Various studies support the fact that recognizing blessings is a significant factor in leading a less stressful life. Recognizing blessings increases feelings of sufficiency, which leads to a decrease in symptoms of depression and anxiety.

Effects on physical health

While reducing stress hormones, gratitude also helps to better manage autonomic nervous system functions. Neurochemical hormones secreted by the nerves contribute significantly to our physical health. Dopamine plays a role in regulating blood vessel function and heart rate, while serotonin is involved in sleep and the digestive system. Although serotonin is primarily found in the intestines, it affects the brain by crossing the blood-brain barrier.

A study evaluating the impact of gratitude on physical well-being showed that patients who kept a gratitude journal experienced a 16% reduction in pain symptoms and were more willing to collaborate with doctors for treatment. Studies have also shown that thanksgiving regulates dopamine levels, increasing vitality and thereby reducing perceived pain.

People with a well-developed sense of gratitude experience slower neurological deterioration. Additionally, inflammation decreases in grateful individuals, making it easier to regulate blood pressure. The feeling of gratitude, formed by recognizing received blessings, leads to the secretion of the hormone oxytocin, which dilates blood vessels, lowers blood pressure, and protects the heart. Through these physiological processes, gratitude has a pain-relieving effect.

The promise in the verse “If you are grateful, I will increase My blessings upon you” (Qur’an 14:7) may also indicate that the blessing of healing readily comes into play through various physiological pathways that affect our physical health, beyond just psychological channels. It also refers to the otherworldly rewards associated with gratitude and thanksgiving.

Hayah, which can be translated as liveliness and being alive, means that a heart which is already dead because of ignorance, misguidance and unbelief, comes to life through belief, and knowledge and love of God. The verse (6:122), He who was dead (in spirit), and We raised him to life, and set for him a light by which he moves among people without any deviation, makes this point clear.

The scholars of truth regard life as being when one is freed from the imprisonment of the body and corporeality and rises to the level of the life of the heart and spirit. The aspect of this favor which is represented by the master of the creatures, upon him be peace and blessings, who, although an individual, gained universality, can be seen in the verse (42:52), Thus, We have revealed to you from Our (world of) Command (the Qur’an as) a spirit (promising life to the hearts). The aspect which concerns all others who promise life is indicated in the verse (8:24): O you who believe! Respond to God and to the Messenger when the Messenger calls you (in the name of God) to that which gives you life (with respect to the religion and the world).

The life of the earth, with all its revival and instances of growth and flourishing, is essentially related to the soil and its content, water with its vitality, air and the gases contained in the air. Similarly, true human life is dependent on the knowledge of truth, a strong will-power and endeavor, a sound character and good morals, a deep desire for God’s company, and rejoicing at the awareness of such a great favor. All these together serve as a runway or ramp from which to rise up to the realm where souls fly and attain the eternal life.

The earth derives all its riches from the source described in (16:65): God sends down from (the direction of) the sky a kind of water and therewith revives the earth after its death; in (50:11): We have revived with that water a dead land, and so is coming forth (from the graves); and in (21:30): We have made every living thing from water. Likewise, dead souls exposed to a dearth of faith, and lack of knowledge and of love of God, are revived through belief; they begin to feel what life really means through their knowledge of God, they dive into its depths through love, and attain a full life through resolution, will-power and determination. Then, as long as initiates realize the goal of Follow God’s way of acting [1] under the guidance of the supreme exemplar of good morals, the one who is praised in the verse (68:4), Surely You stand on an exalted standard of character, they attain God’s company in the infinite air in which they beat their wings, and feel constant gratitude and enthusiasm. When the time is due, they feel so expanded with the rapture of being in God’s presence that it is as if they transcended the limits of time and space and been favored with the rank, When I love My servant, I become his hearing with which He hears and his sight with which he sees and his hand with which he holds and his feet on which he walks [2]. And as stated in (56:89): Then (there is for him) comfort in eternal relief, and abundance, and a Garden of bounty and blessing, their spirits continue, by the Power of the All-Powerful Sovereign, flying toward eternity in the Gardens of Paradise, the Presence of the Lord of the worlds, and the company of the Most Compassionate of the compassionate.

In this rank, which is the essence of true life, there is neither death nor decay. Death and decay only occur with respect to the carnal soul and corporeality, and there is permanence with respect to the heart, spirit and other spiritual faculties. This permanence is also viewed as “self-annihilation in God” and “subsistence by Him and with Him.”

There are three breaths in the life of an initiate who has reached this degree: the breath of fear, the breath of expectation, and the breath of love. As the carnal soul fulfils an important mission on behalf of corporeality and the body, fear, expectation, and love are each an important dynamic for the life of the spirit and heart. Always feeling fear and love of Him causes the conscience of the initiate to feel an overflowing pleasure by far greater than what a child feels upon seeking refuge in the arms of the mother who has just chided him. Thinking of Him as the All-Compassionate, All-Loving Lord, and considering the depth of His Mercy, is such a spiritual pleasure that if it were to take on a physical form, it would appear like a Garden of Paradise. Finding or reading His Names on the face of His works, breathing His Attributes on the climate produced by the manifestations of His Names, and feeling the pleasure embedded in wonder at the consideration of the relation between His works, Names and Attributes, gives such an indescribable pleasure that only those who have been able to realize this degree of spiritual ascension can feel it.

Those who can most swiftly reach this most precious goal, even though they are unable to feel the grace of this sacred journey at every step, are those who set off by being able to ac-knowledge their poverty and helplessness before God, and their gratitude and enthusiasm. They know how to become an ocean while each of them is still a drop; they know how to travel among galaxies while each is still a particle, and although they see themselves as nothing, they are able to live in the wheel of existence in accordance with its ultimate goal. They always travel saying, as Ibrahim Haqqi said:

I have attained pride through poverty,
and supplicating to the Ultimate Truth,
I always utter, O the All-Living, O the Self-Subsistent!

They overflow with enthusiasm and gratitude, and are enraptured with the lights of the true life and existence, which are found a step beyond this horizon. Without considering the assertions of some, such as the Unity of Being and the Unity of the Witnessed, they feel the truth of life and existence beyond all conceptions of modality, and say: This life is not sufficient for such an expanse of pleasure.

O God! Guide us to the Straight Way, the way of those whom You have favored. And bestow peace and blessings on the master of the creatures, the means of the life of the two worlds, and on his Family and all of his Companions, all of them.

References

1. al-Jurjani, at-Ta‘rifat, 1:216.
2. al-Bukhari, “Riqaq,” 38.

Fasting is a way to forego temporary pleasures. Muslims observed Ramadan a few months ago, while Yom Kippur will have been celebrated around the time you receive this issue. Fasting marks both of these holy events, and Rabbi Maller wonders, why do Muslims and Jews afflict themselves? Why do Islam and Judaism restrict their adherents from the simple pleasure of food? In his piece, Rabbi Maller explains the common practices of fasting in both traditions and how they contribute to the spiritual well-being of individuals and society.

Bediuzzaman Said Nursi’s epistles are a compelling source of inspiration, for those wondering about the mysteries of this life. The Eighth Word is among the most popular of his epistles, in which he portrays the drama of human life in this world. Dr. M. Fethullah Simsek digs deeper into the wisdom of this epistle’s story and explains how this wisdom is universally shared around the world through many ancient texts descending from Prophet Abraham, all the way down to Rumi, Tolstoy, and Nursi.

Nature is another major source of wisdom and inspiration. Despite its small stature, the honeybee is an exquisite example of splendors found in nature. Dr. Syed explains how this unique creature is praised in religious traditions and how its brain is skilled at studying, counting, understanding intangible designs, and conveying the location of flowers to other bees in the hive.

This year’s Essay Contest starts October 1 with the theme “Should We Be Grateful?” Go to The Fountain Essay Contest 2018 page and share with us your thoughts on the feeling of gratitude.

With so many expectations and obligations in our lives, it is a surprise we are not all insane. Dr. Brené Brown of the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work program is a shame resilience researcher, learning how people deal with issues like those above that can trigger feelings of shame, negatively impacting our relationships and ability to function. She has published three books covering the topic of shame and shame resilience. Dr. Brown has been gaining attention in recent years as she has appeared on CNN, NPR, PBS, and the internet video site TED. The topic may seem unusual, but the research has far-reaching implications, widely applicable beyond the social work field. Everyone experiences shame, and overcoming shame is necessary to function, instead of being held back and isolated by shame. Responding in a constructive, shame-minimizing way by working through shame issues is what Dr. Brown calls living in a more “whole-hearted” and “authentic” way.

Researching people

Social sciences have different methods of researching, and Dr. Brown used the grounded theory, a method which allows qualitative data, and inductive and deductive reasoning to gather data without having a hypothesis to start with. Using the grounded theory method, consensus from individual interviews was taken based on the language and terms they used to describe their experiences, “and maybe stories are just data with a soul,” posits Dr. Brown in her TED talk. Dr. Brown decided she wanted to study shame, and so she did so without any of her own theories to start. She just had the questions: What is shame and how does it work? According to Robert Hilliker, a licensed counselor, former student, and collaborator of Dr. Brown’s, she has gathered over 11,000 interviews with people, investigating their shame experiences and where applicable, their shame resilience.

Owning our own story can be hard, but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it.

Dr. Brown found that some of the people she interviewed showed impressive resilience to shaming experiences. She focused in on these people and studied what made them resilient to the effects of shame. The people were dubbed, “the whole-hearted.”

How shame works

The positive side of shame research is that there are tools to combat the feeling and the experience of shame, and to make our everyday lives less like shame minefields and more like a day at the office, picking up the kids, going to the grocery store, and making friends along the way. Simple exchanges with fellow parents or children, with bosses or teachers, spouses, friends, and acquaintances can easily turn into huge triggers for shameful feelings. When a weak spot is hit, a mistake is made, an accident happens, or someone runs late, short exchanges can become terse and tense, full of hidden meaning and innuendo, implied or imagined incompetence and inadequacy.

Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky, but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy–the experiences that make us most vulnerable Whether a situation goes smoothly or blows up in someone’s face has a lot to do with his or her shame triggers, something everyone has. Detailed in I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t): Telling the Truth About Perfectionism, Inadequacy, and Power, social and family situations can become nightmares when our lives are ruled by shame. For people that cannot deal with their shame (everyone to some extent, according to Dr. Brown) the options are limited: numbing the feelings of shame and fear through addictions, attempting to become “invulnerable” through perfectionism, making the uncertain certain by becoming dogmatic, and pretending that our actions do not hurt others. But these negative actions do harm others, and they break down our connections to others.

How whole-heartedness works

Even more exciting than learning that shame is universal and awful was that there are strengths that can be cultivated to overcome shame. The title of Dr. Brown’s second book says it all: The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are. The main components of whole-hearted living were courage, compassion, and connection. Being authentic requires accepting ourselves for who we are and living that truthfully. “Owning our own story can be hard but not nearly as difficult spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy–the experiences that make us most vulnerable,” says Dr. Brown in her book.

There are so many ways to apply such a broadly useful set of concepts, especially for a person of faith. The “guideposts” in The Gifts of Imperfection evoke many concepts from holy books. “Cultivating Authenticity: Letting Go of What People Think” calls to mind the story of Prophet Noah, who everyone thought was crazy as he built an ark. The chapter on cultivating gratitude and joy clearly connects to faith. Dr. Brown’s perspective on gratitude is especially relevant to modern life: “For me and for many of us, our first waking thought of the day is ‘I didn’t get enough sleep.’ … Whether true or not, that thought of not enough occurs to us automatically before we even think to question or examine it …”

As I read this passage, it makes total sense to me why we’re a nation hungry for more joy: Because we’re starving from a lack of gratitude.

Opportunities for growth

Dr. Brown and counselor-protégé Robert Hilliker have developed a curriculum called Connections which covers many of the concepts from her books and research. They are also developing a certification program for counseling professionals such as social workers and clergy who would like training.

“Spiritual leadership has a responsibility to make faith communities safe and supportive … We actually train spiritual leaders in the curriculum,” says Hilliker. “[Shame resilience] would be a wonderful thing for faith book clubs to sort of rally around … Her work has really reached a tipping point where people are talking about shame, this very pervasive feeling that everybody has and few people deal with well,” he says. Such a common feeling that can be very debilitating may not be the most cheerful topic of conversation, but learning to deal with shame may be one of the most liberating acts in a person’s life. To learn more, please visit: http://www.connectionscertification.com/.

Dr. Brené Brown, from her website.

Defining Some Broad Terms

Shame is simply defined as the fear of disconnection, that a person will be rejected when he or she becomes vulnerable.

Courage from the Latin cor, originally (and by Brené Brown) meant to speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart.

Compassion, defined as deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it, starts with self-compassion according to the shame-resilience research.

Connection is defined as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.

Faith is a place of mystery, where we find the courage to believe in what we cannot see and the strength to let go of our fear of uncertainty.

Every blessing of God is an opportunity given to human beings that calls for a corresponding responsibility.

Health is a blessing that should be used to fast, to pray, and to strive on God’s path so that one can express gratitude for this blessing. If a person gives this gratitude, God will return that body in the next world for eternity and without flaw, and with all its potential revealed.

Intelligence is one of God’s favors. If the horizon of one’s mind has been enlightened by the lights of revelation, and he is therefore distanced from inappropriate things and makes decisions according to the true path, intelligence is a source of inspiration. If he uses the blessing of his mind appropriately and introduces Truth to those who have strayed, he is giving the mind its due. On the contrary, if he only uses intelligence for worldly or evil tasks, he is being ungrateful for that blessing.

Power of expression is one of the greatest blessings that God has given humanity—so much so, that the name of the Qur’anic chapter where this is explained is called Rahman (Mercy). Al-Rahman is one of the Exalted Names of God. Some of the manifestations of God’s Mercy are giving means of subsistence in a broad circle to everyone even if they are not believers, and nourishing creation with various blessings, including human’s power of expression. This ability makes them eligible to be an addressee to God. They may understand God’s words and at the same time express their thoughts to Him. God says, “Come, pray to Me and bow in My presence.” Then they can say, “praise be to God” and with faithful and obedient devotion they can stand in God’s presence. In one sense, this is understanding God and speaking with Him. One of the Successors (the generation after the Companions of the Prophet) said, “If a person who reads the Qur’an says that he spoke with God, it would not be a lie.” Therefore one who says, “praise be to God” can be considered to have spoken with God.

The prayers that believers recite every day actually reflect a conversation with God:

You are the Most Beneficent and the Most Compassionate: You first gave me consciousness and then the ability to express this consciousness. This is a manifestation of Your Mercy.

You are the Master of the Day of Judgment: I am preparing for that day within the framework of Your commands.

I serve only You and I seek help only from You: I do so in order not to be smashed under the weight of servanthood.

Most people probably never really ponder the prayers in this way, but if they were to reflect, the prayers allow them to rise to a very honorable station.

If a person went and spoke with a head of state, he would talk about it everywhere; he would find an opportunity in every environment to mention that conversation. Therefore, if a person views talking with a head of state as this important and mentions it everywhere, then he should think deeply about what it means to have the privilege of addressing God.

A sacred saying from the Prophet (hadith qudsi) is stated as follows:

“I share the recitation with my servant in prayer; half belongs to Me and half to him and what My servant wants will be given to him. When the servant says, ‘Praise be to God, the Cherisher and Sustainer of the worlds,’ Exalted and Glorious God says, ‘My servant praised Me!’ When he says, ‘Most Glorious, Most Merciful,’ God says, ‘My servant glorified Me.’

“When he says, ‘Master of the Day of Judgment,’ God says, ‘My servant exalted Me.’ When he says, ‘You do we worship and Your aid we seek,’ God commends him: ‘This is a pledge between Me and My servant. I gave him what he wanted.’

When the servant says, ‘Show us the straight way, the way of those on whom You have bestowed Your grace, Those whose portion is not wrath, and who go not astray,’ God says, ‘This belongs to My servant and he has been given what he wants.’”

In recitation, the chapter al-Fatiha is divided between the servant and God—some is spoken by the servant, and some is answered by God. In a sense, this is nothing other than a conversation with God. Consequently, the power of expression is a great blessing from God, and its greatest right is to praise God, who honored human beings with the power of expression.

Like a town crier, we must speak of our Lord, who gave us the capability of expression, everywhere we go. If you give a crier a little money, he will promote his wares from morning till evening in the marketplace. Salesmen do the same thing; they go to houses, fawn on people and try to sell their goods. In the end, what they will sell is one or two pots and pans. In the same way, Heaven will be given to us for doing very easy tasks. We are in a position to be made worthy of seeing God’s Beauty by using, in the best way, the power of expression bestowed upon us by God. Even if no one remained on earth to hear us, then we have the responsibility to climb the mountains to the skies and live for the excitement of talking of God to the jinn and demons. As a friend of truth said, even if one is imprisoned and there is no one around, then he should try and teach the demons about God to fulfill his responsibility.

The subject is the importance of a person returning a favor given by God by making the best use of the ability bestowed. Only by means of this kind of reciprocation can gratitude for that blessing be fully shown. God will continue bestowing that blessing here and in the next world. If a person only gives the right of property, but does not give the right of his mind, health, or power of expression, then he still will have been ungrateful. If a person cannot speak, he has a pen. If he does not give the due of the pen, then he will have shown ingratitude before God. If one who has strong mental abilities does not use them for God, then he will have been unjust. Whatever God has given a person should be used on the path of God to teach others about Him.

If a person does not give gratitude for his other blessings, but only gives financial aid when his financial situation is favorable, then at least he has performed a large part of his responsibility. If he gives help beyond the alms tax, financial aid is a serious sacrifice, and voluntary acts and altruism within this framework is great, because it is the virtue of giving for God’s sake. In fact, our Prophet said, “Generosity is like a tree. Its roots are in Heaven and its branches have hung down to this world. Whoever lives under that tree and behaves generously, sooner or later he will hold on to one of the branches and rise to Heaven where the tree’s roots are.” It can be understood from this that a generous person, even if he is a sinner—God willing—will eventually enter Heaven. If a sinner does not deny God, and he is generous, it is said that he will enter Heaven. Saying, “A stingy person is closer to Hell,” our Master used an expression of warning for miserliness. We can infer that since generosity is one of God’s attributes, He will not put a person with that attribute into Hell.

Attributes are very important; people must give what is due to the attributes God blessed them with. In this way, one’s work should be arranged according to God’s blessings. Worldly tasks should not be forgotten and neglected. Regardless of where he is, a believer should always be at the forefront of those living in his own time. Doing this, he will always be avant-garde—but while doing this, he should put his life in order and never neglect God’s rights. In short, a believer should use all the abilities God has bestowed upon him, and use them in such a way that he has given those blessings their due.

One may thank God verbally by only depending upon His power and strength, as well as upon His bestowal or withholding of favors, and acknowledging that all good and bounties come from Him. As He alone creates all good, beauty, and bounty, as well as the means by which they can be obtained, only He sends them at the appropriate time.

Since He alone determines, apportions, creates, and spreads [all our provisions] before us as “heavenly tables,” He alone deserves our gratitude and thanks. Attributing our attainment of His bounties to our own or to another’s means or causes, in effect thereby proclaiming that He is not the true Owner, Creator, and Giver of all bounty, is like giving a huge tip to the servant who lays before us a magnificent table and ignoring the host who is responsible for having it prepared and sent to us. Such an attitude reflects sheer ignorance and ingratitude, as mentioned in: They know only the outward face of the life of the world (apparent to them), and they are completely unaware of (its face looking to) the Hereafter (30:7).

True thankfulness in one’s heart is manifested through the conviction and acknowledgment that all bounties are from God, and then ordering one’s life accordingly. One can thank God verbally and through one’s daily life only if personally convinced, and if one willingly acknowledges that his or her existence, life, body, physical appearance, and all abilities and accomplishments are from God, as are all of the bounties obtained and consumed. This is stated in: Do you not see that God has made serviceable unto you whatsoever is in the skies and whatsoever is in the earth, and has loaded you with His bounties seen or unseen? (31:20), and: He gives you of all that you ask Him; and if you reckon the bounties of God, you can never count them (14:34).

Bodily thankfulness is possible by using one’s organs, faculties, and abilities for the purposes for which they were created, and in performing the duties of servanthood falling on each. On the other hand, some have stated that verbal thankfulness means daily recitation of portions of the Qur’an, prayers, supplications, and God’s Names. Thankfulness by the heart means that one is certain or convinced of the truth of the Islamic faith and straightforwardness. Practical or bodily thankfulness, according to others, means observing all acts of worship. Since thankfulness relates directly to all aspects or branches of belief and worship, it is regarded as half of the faith. With respect to this inclusiveness, it is considered together with patience, meaning that according to some people, thankfulness and patience are considered as the two halves of religious life.

In His eternal Speech, God Almighty repeatedly commands thankfulness and, as in the phrases so that you may give thanks (2:52) and God will reward the thankful (3:144), presents it as the purpose of creation and of sending religion. In such verses as: If you are thankful I will add more unto you. But if you show ingratitude My punishment is terrible indeed (14:7), He has promised abundant reward to the thankful and threatened the ungrateful with a terrible punishment. One of His own Names is the All-Thanking, which shows us that the way to obtain all bounties or favors is through thankfulness, which He returns with abundant reward. He exalts the Prophets Abraham and Noah, upon them be peace, saying: (Abraham was) thankful for His bounties (16:121) and Assuredly, he (Noah) was a grateful servant (17:3).

Although thankfulness is a religious act of great importance and significant “capital,” few people truly do it: Few of My servants are thankful (34:13). Very few people live in full awareness of the duty of thankfulness, saying: Shall I not be a servant grateful (to my Lord)? and try their best to perform their duty of thankfulness and order their lives accordingly.

The glory of humanity, upon him be peace and blessings, whose soles swelled because of his long supererogatory prayer vigils (tahajjud), was a matchless hero of thankfulness. On one occasion, he told his wife ‘A’isha: “Shall I not be a servant grateful to God?” He always thanked God and recommended thankfulness to his followers, and prayed to God every morning and evening, saying: “O God. Help me mention You, thank You, and worship You in the best way possible.”

Thankfulness is the deep gratitude and devotion of one who, receiving His bounties or favors, directs these feelings toward the One Who bestows such blessing, and the subsequent turning to Him in love, appreciation, and acknowledgment. The above Prophetic saying expresses this most directly.

People are thankful for many things: the provisions, home, and family with which they have been favored; wealth and health; belief, knowledge of God, and the spiritual pleasures bestowed on them; and the consciousness with which God favored them so they could open themselves to the knowledge that they must be thankful. If those who are thankful for such a consciousness use their helplessness and destitution as “capital” and thank Him continuously, they will be among the truly thankful. It is narrated from God’s Messenger, upon him be peace and blessings, that

The Prophet David, upon him be peace, asked God Almighty: O Lord. How can I be thankful to You, since thanking You is another favor that requires thankfulness? The Almighty responded: Just now you have done it.

I think this is what is expressed in: We have not been able to thank You as thanking You requires, O All-Thanked One.

One can be thankful by recognizing and appreciating Divine favors, for feeling gratitude to the One Who bestows favors depends to a great extent on due recognition and appreciation of them. Belief and Islam (including the Qur’an) lead one to recognize and appreciate favors and thus turn to God in gratitude. One can be more aware of these favors, and that they are given to us by God out of His mercy for our helplessness and inability to meet our own needs, in the light of belief and Islamic practices. This awareness urges us to praise the One Who bestows upon us those favors and bounties that we consume. Awakening to the meaning of: As for the favor of Your Lord, proclaim it (93:11), we feel a deep need to be grateful and thankful.

Everyone is naturally inclined to praise the good and the one who does good to him or her. However, until this feeling is aroused there is no awareness of being favored by someone else, just as fish are not conscious of living in water. Furthermore, these favors may be attributed to the means and causes used to obtain them. If it is blindness and deafness not to see and appreciate the favors we continuously receive, then it must be an unforgivable deviation to attribute them to various blind, deaf, and unfeeling means and causes. The Prophetic statements: One who does not thank for the little does not thank for the abundant, and: One who does not thank people does not thank God, express blindness and deafness to favors and remind us of the importance of being thankful. Such verses as: Mention Me so that I will mention you, and give thanks to Me and do not be ungrateful to Me (2:152), and: Worship Him and give Him thanks (29:17) tell us that it is God Who truly deserves to be thanked, and also remind us of His absolute Unity.

Thankfulness can be divided into three categories. The first category consists of thankfulness for those things that everyone, regardless of religion or spiritual attainment, desires. The second category consists of thankfulness for those things that, although apparently disagreeable or displeasing, reveal their true nature to those who can see them as favors requiring gratitude.

The third category of thankfulness is that kind performed by those who are loved by God and view favors or bounties from the perspective of the One Who bestows them. They spend their lives in spiritual pleasure that begins in observing God’s manifestation of Himself through His favors, and take the greatest pleasure in worshipping Him. Although they are always enraptured with the spiritual delight flowing from their love of Him, they are extremely careful of their relationship with Him. Such people constantly strive to preserve the Divine blessings that have been bestowed upon them, and always search for what they have missed. While they constantly deepen their belief, love, and gratitude along the way toward Him, the “nets of their sight” are filled with different blessings and gifts.

O God! Include us among Your servants whom You love, have made sincere, and have brought unto You. Grant peace and blessings to our Master, the Master of those loved, made sincere, and brought near unto You.

But you don’t know what she did to me! Why didn’t he remember our anniversary? Why weren’t my parents more loving? Sound familiar? Of course, because we have all faced these or similar problems.

Most of us grew up learning that we should try to forgive others. Dr. Luskin, director and co-founder of the Standard University Forgiveness Project, has conducted several studies on forgiveness as a source of various medical and health benefits as well.

He writes: Scientific research clearly shows that learning to forgive is good for one’s health and well-being good for mental health and according to recent data good for physical health as well gratitude, faith, and care have a positive impact on cardiovascular functioning Almost uniformly, the forgiveness studies show positive results in psychological and emotional well-being. People who are taught to forgive become less angry, more hopeful, less depressed, less anxious, less stressed, more confident, and they learn to like themselves more (pp. 77-78).

Dr. Luskin’s main point is that forgiving others helps us lead a more satisfying and fulfilling life. Each of us stores pain from unrealized goals, failed relationships, personal failures, and so on. Over time, it begins to take over our lives and thwart our quest for happiness.

His techniques rest on several foundations, among them identifying your grievance story, starting with the small hurts and working up to the big ones, practicing forgiveness, realizing that forgiveness does not necessarily involve reconciliation or acceptance, understanding that you are the only one suffering, and concluding that it is time to let go and move on.

Some of his techniques are the following:

– PERT (The Positive Emotion Refocusing Technique). Do we watch the Grievance Channel, home of such popular re-runs as I Had Rotten Parents, My Life Was Unfair, or My Parents Mistreated Me? Why are we not switching (recognizing and taking responsibility for our situation) to the Gratitude, Beauty, Forgiveness, or Love channels?

Other elements of PERT are the breath of thanks. Breathe in and out slowly, be aware that you are breathing, and give thanks that you can breathe and are alive. Then apply the heart focus, by bringing to mind a very positive memory and allow the associated feelings of peace and love to engulf you.

– Challenging unenforceable rules. As we cannot control everything and are imperfect, others will continue to disappoint us. Why get mad at them for being human? We are not perfect, so why should we expect them to be perfect? In short, we need to hope for something instead of demand something of others and ourselves.

– HEAL. Hope (for a specific outcome in a specific situation), Educate (limited control results in something unexpected), Affirm (reconnect to your goal by affirming your positive intention), and Long-term (make a long-term commitment to your long-range well-being).

Dr. Luskin recommends practicing these exercises several times a day in a secluded place. Set aside about 15 minutes for each session, and work toward becoming a forgiving person. Acknowledge your submerged anger and pain, decide how to deal with these negative feelings that are harming your emotional balance and physical health, remember how much better you felt the last time you forgave someone, and then do it. This will transform you into someone who finds it natural to forgive and thereby deprive others of their negative power over you.

In our agitated world of ever-rising expectations, this book is just what we need. As Dr. Luskin shows, a dose of realism and forgiving people’s imperfections will lead each of us toward a more fulfilling life. And isn’t that what we all want?