Question: “Peaceful settlement is better” (Nisa 4:128) reads a Qur’anic verse. What are the messages to be drawn from this verse?

Answer: The basic factor that lies in the basis of clashes and fights today is entanglement with oneself. Everybody is seeking to establish their own model of the individual, family, city, state, and world. In a world where everybody runs after their own model and structure it is not possible to meet in the middle with a compromise. Accordingly, when every intellectual, movement, and state envisions some ideas and systems of theirs, they take these as the sole criteria and expect others to comply with them too, it will obviously result in such a mess. Unfortunately, such a reality underlies behind the tensions, disorder, and confusion we experience today.

Tolerance and clemency

The best elixir to solve these confusions is tolerance and clemency, being open to agreement and reconciliation with almost everybody, and our readiness to engage in dialogue with others. To realize that, we need to shake off our own caprices, greed, and the diseases of asserting their own feelings and thoughts as the only right way to go. Doubtlessly, this depends upon a person’s ability to break free of arrogance, destroy the egotism of “I,” and take some rest in the stopover of “us,” and then journey onto “Him” (to God) afterwards.

It is very difficult for those taken by their egotism, considerations of affiliation, or by love of their groups to stand open to peace and meet different ideas with respect. As far as they hold the benefits of their own group above everything else and cannot rid themselves of bigotry, they cannot form strategies of peace for the good of humanity. Actually, it is very difficult to say that those people ever have such a goal in mind since they are consistently so uncompromising to diversity.

In the globalizing world of our time, there is no other alternative than tolerance and dialogue in order for humanity to live in peace. As for letting a culture of tolerance prevail, it is necessary for both individuals and societies to give up seeing themselves as the absolute representatives of truth and to always deem the possibility that other’s thoughts and approaches can also be correct. Even if different ideas and thoughts are not completely true, it should not be forgotten that there may be a grain of truth in them at least. Remember the statements of Said Nursi who said that there is a grain of truth even in the Mu‘tazilite and Fatalist (Jabriya) schools of thought, but that these sects went wrong since they saw the truth as exclusive to themselves.

Today, everyone has a peculiar “correct” viewpoint of their own, and others’ opinions are wrongfor the sole reason that they belong to others. Such a bias does not allow suitable grounds to discuss whether they are correct or not. We sometimes try to defend ideas even we don’t believe.

Peace begins in the family

Actually, by decreeing that “peaceful settlement is better” (Nisa 4:128) the Qur’an invites people to reconciliation and agreement, to accept that there can also be a share of truth in others’ statements and actions. As is known, this verse was revealed about the family, the smallest molecule of society. God Almighty showed the way to be followed against occasional discord and situations between spouses; He taught that they are not supposed to consider divorce right away but instead it is necessary to seek mutual agreement while preserving the family.

Given that the Qur’an demands resolving dents and fissures by peaceful means, even in a familial level, approaching problems at the scope of a town, city, state, or world with peace will be much more desirable.

In this respect, no matter which aspect of society is concerned, the duty that falls upon people is being in pursuit of maintaining peace and all of the beneficial and good byproducts that come from peaceful means. The fact that people have different religions, cultures, ethnical identities, and worldviews should not be seen as an obstacle to this issue. It must be shown that peaceful coexistence is possible even between people who follow different religions or who do not believe in any religion.

Therefore, it is necessary to develop projects for maintaining such a general peace and to develop reasonable strategies because maintaining that is not as easy as it might seem. The maintenance of peace calls for very serious efforts and endeavors. On the way to obtain such an important outcome, sometimes it is necessary to be ready to forget certain fights that occurred in the past, to be ready to forgive, and to make concessions when needed. In short, it is needed to forbear everything possible for the sake of letting people live together in an atmosphere of peace. Of course, while doing so no one should compromise the honor of a people or nation.

Obstacles are overcome with mature people

It is only those alive with regards to their spirit, heart, senses, feelings, and thoughts who will succeed at building a spirit of unity and a culture of reconciliation in society. Those with high spirit can spark vibrancy in others, too. For people who have reached a serious level of satiation, satisfaction, and contentment in the spiritual sense, even very big problems become very little. Such people even pass over enormous trenches with the ease of jumping over little pits. However, as for a person who has not been able to break free from their ego, who has not been able to abandon being physical-oriented, and who has not been saved from being directed by fancies and desires, in short, a person who has not started journeying into the life degrees of the heart and spirit will not do much for the peace and happiness of humanity.

This is a significant reason for the breakings, cracks, conflicts, and fights that are happening in our time. People who are not sufficiently mature are so touchy and easily offended by even the slightest things. As they have not been able to rid themselves of their roughness, they get offended and hurt right away when they cannot find the looks they desired and the attitudes that they expected. If someone gives them a nudge in the ribs to invigorate, warn, or to stimulate them, they react as if they were hurt with a spear.

The duty that falls to believers is not being heartbroken even in the face of offensive behavior. Instead of accusing those who behave negatively and making negative assumptions about them, they should turn to God and say: “O God, we are probably facing these difficulties because of our failure to be properly righteous; please set them, and us, right!”

One must be very determined about not being heart broken and offended by anyone. If we devoted ourselves to serving humanity, then it is necessary to lay our heads under their feet with utter self-sacrifice. To put it in the words of Seyyid Nigari:

“Will one who seeks the Beloved be concerned for his own life?
And will one concerned for his own life be in quest of the Beloved?”

I think this is the very thought to let humanity, which has miserably doubled up, to straighten up again.

As is known, the noble Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) positioned a group of archers before the Battle of Uhud on a hill and gave strict instructions that they were not supposed to leave their position no matter what happened. However, most of the archers who had not grasped the critical importance of precision at following the orders left their positions upon seeing the enemy fleeing the ground; they thought that their duty was over. It is after this point that the Muslims were surrounded from behind with a new maneuver by the polytheist army and received a very serious blow. Even the noble Prophet received an injury to his blessed head and his tooth was broken. But he gathered his Companions again as if nothing had happened and held a consultation with them. He did not embarrass them by mentioning their fault and did not reproach them in the slightest degree. What a breeze of kindness that was!

Who knows how humiliated they felt because of the judgmental error they had made. By means of referring to their consultation again about the new steps to be taken, he relieved the hearts of his Companions who were aware of their fault and were suffering with due remorse. This is the way to spur heroism in spirits and to mend the breakages and cracks that occur.

The Peace of Hudaybiya

At this point, I think most people will not help but remember the treaty of Hudaybiya, because the noble Prophet had made concessions upon concessions for the sake of making that treaty. Although accepting some of the articles was so hard on him, he forbore with that solely for the sake of maintaining reconciliation and forming an atmosphere of peace.

While departing from Medina, the Messenger of God had promised to his Companions a pilgrimage visit to the holy Ka‘ba. For the sake of realizing this promise, they had covered a distance of more than 400 km riding their horses and camels and come to the vicinity of Mecca. They had even put on their ihram garbs for this visit and taken their sacrifices with them. However, the polytheists of Mecca accosted them in Hudaybiya and said, “we neither let you enter Mecca, nor do we let you visit the Ka‘ba.” Thanks to the endeavors and prophetic intelligence of God’s Messenger, the polytheists were convinced to sign the peace treaty of Hudaybiya. However, they also stipulated as an article of the treaty that the Muslims would go back without observing their pilgrimage visit. This was very heavy on the Companions who had been homesick for Mecca and the Ka‘ba for eight years. So much so that they reminded the noble Prophet about the promise he had made but received the answer that he had not specified it to be in that year, but they also received a promise from him that they would observe it the following year. It is not so difficult to imagine how much this situation must have hurt the Prophet, the paragon of kindness.

During this confrontation at Hudaybiya, the Meccan commander Khalid ibn Walid, who had not become a Muslim then, kept spurring his horse here and there in a manner of challenging the Muslims, and he even tried to provoke them. In addition, Mecca’s representative Suhayl ibn Amr objected to the title “Messenger of God” to be written in the treaty and they stipulated the noble Prophet’s name to be written as “Muhammad, son of Abdullah.” In the meantime, the same Suhayl ibn Amr’s son Abu Jandal, who had been imprisoned by his father broke free and came up until Hudaybiya in a pitiable condition by dragging the shackles on his leg. He sought refuge with the Messenger of God. However, the father demanded his son to be given back to him as required by the treaty and for the sake of not upsetting the established peace, God’s Messenger had to accept it unwillingly.

Note that all of these conditions were not to be accepted easily. The more so when the noble Prophet is concerned, a person with such a high degree of honor, dignity, and esteem; because great personages have sensitivity and caring beyond our estimation. Nevertheless, the Qur’anic statement meaning, “It may be that you (O Messenger) will torment yourself to death because they refuse to believe” (Shuara 26:3) also expresses his lofty degree of caring. However, the Messenger of God managed to suppress all of these by exercising an extraordinary degree of self-possession. He did not make these offenses a matter of honor.

In a way, this meant having a holistic perspective and seeing very well the beautiful future that peace and tolerance promised. With this attitude, the Pride of Humanity was at the same time giving Muslims a lesson that they should not be obstinate at certain matters, not act for the sake of their ego, to keep away from superficial and casual evaluations, from being farsighted, not being offensive to others, and from not generating problems in the future by resorting to brutality and violence. This is the way to keep away from intertwined troubles and spiral of problems.

The Treaty of Hudaybiya Is the Conquest

Such are the heavy conditions that the peace treaty of Hudaybiya was signed under. This had felt hurtful to the dignity and honor of Muslims. However, the Qur’an gave the glad tidings that this treaty was a plain victory and the results of the treaty also proved this. Only after this treaty was it that Muslims had an opportunity to travel freely and express themselves in the Arabian Peninsula, grudge, hatred, and animosities abated, many people got to know Muslims more closely.

Based upon this practice, we can say the following: If contemporary Muslims as well want to build such an atmosphere of peace in their country and abroad then they must know to make serious sacrifices. If they cannot tolerate certain unpleasant situations that they do not approve of but always bring their honor and pride to the fore, then they will be deprived of large-scale examples of goodness to be obtained by means of peace.

If the conditions of the contemporary world are considered, it will be seen that the humanity is in dire need of such agreement and reconciliation more than ever. Because solving so many gangrenous problems, saving countries from disintegration, and maintaining security of roads are dependent on this. In this respect, the logic and reasoning in the peace of Hudaybiya need be comprehended and practiced very well.

The Hebrew Bible makes general demands that we should treat our parents with respect and reverence. “Honor” is a word used frequently in the Bible to describe how we are to show respect to God. Respect of parents is a primary and sacred obligation. If we fail to respect our parents, we have disobeyed God Almighty. In some deep and mysterious way, the family is bound up with faith in God: the two are interdependent.

From the very moment of conception, the child, as it grows and develops, is a care and responsibility for its parents. It is not possible to estimate the depth of attachment and compassion parents feel for their children and to calculate the troubles and hardships they go through as parents. For this reason, respecting them is a debt of human gratitude as well as a religious obligation.

Those who can judge the value of their parents rightly and regard them as a means to obtain the mercy of God are the most prosperous in both worlds. Those who, by contrast, regard their parents’ existence as a burden to themselves or who become wearied of them are the unfortunate ones.

The more respectful you are to your parents, the greater the respect and awe you feel before your Creator. Yet, it is a curious thing today that not only those who are disrespectful to God but also those who claim that they love God do not defend themselves from disobedience to their parents. As Martin Luther said, “we must respect and love God, so that we will neither look down on our parents or superiors, nor irritate them, but will honor them, serve them, obey them, love them, and value them.”¹

Under the Old Testament law the son, who was rebellious against his parents was stoned for this rebellion (Deuteronomy 21:18-21). It is important to stress the fact that God is opposed to rebellion and disobedience toward one’s parents. God also promises a long life to the individual who is obedient to his father and mother (Exodus 20:12). No doubt this is because the kind of life which is a life of obedience will involve self-discipline and restraint that would enable one to have a long life and good health. This not only refers to the chronological extension of time, but indicates the rich blessing which comes to a society that keeps God’s ways.

The importance of this commandment, however, extends beyond social welfare to the very welfare of society itself, because the family is the basic unit of society. Just as a body’s health is dependent on the health of its cells, so the vigor of a nation, the body politic, is directly related to the health of the families that make it up. Families form the foundation of a society. Where there is reciprocal respect of rights and obligations within a family, the society is healthy and strong. It is vain to look for compassion and respect in a society once these have been lost from the relationships within the family.²

The fifth commandment also shows that the way we treat our parents is how our children learn to treat us. Obviously, we too will become old. If we do not honor our parents, in accordance with the meaning of, “the punishment is similar to the act that required it,” our children will not be dutiful towards us. If we love our life in the hereafter, this is an important treasury for us: let us be dutiful towards them and gain their pleasure. While if it is this world that we love, let us try to please them, so that through them our life will be easy and our sustenance plentiful. If we want the mercy of the Most Merciful One, we should be merciful towards those in our house whom He has entrusted to us.

Likewise in Christianity, in Islam, parents’ rights are the most venerable rights after those of God. The Qur’an has many verses urging Muslims to treat their parents with utmost kindness, to be grateful for the care they have given them, to obey them, and to care for them when they grow old. The Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, once said: “Paradise lies under the feet of the mother. The contentment of the father is the door to paradise.” There are many days set aside in societies to honor and appreciate parents; Father’s Day, Mother’s Day… In Islam, however, respecting, honoring and appreciating parents is not just for a single day of the year, but rather for each and every day.

O Ishmael! Honor Your Father Abraham

There are different types of parents but regardless of how they treat their kids, they are still a parent. Parents make mistakes too, but that does not decrease their value as parents. When we are still under parental guidance, then we will have to follow what they want us to do, even if it is against our heart. When we are on our own feet, then we are free, but we still have the responsibility to respect them. We have to look at the situation, rather than concentrating on our own satisfaction. We have to be kind to them because most of the things they do are all for us.

A child should show respect for his parents by preferring their preferences. For instance, even though some sources say that when Ishmael reached the age of puberty, his tribe made him marry a woman from among them, his mother got a wife for him from Egypt. We do not know whether Ishmael liked her or not. He probably might have preferred to keep silent in order to please his mother. What we know is that he respected his mother’s wishes.

We can give another example. Esau saw that the Canaanite women did not please his father, and his mother, Rebekah complained about these women. In order to please his parents, Esau went to Ishmael and took Mahalath, the daughter of Ishmael.

As mentioned above, Hagar got a wife for Ishmael from the land of Egypt (Genesis 21:21). His wife’s name is not mentioned in the Hebrew Bible, but in the book of Jasher, a Hebrew midrash.³ Ishmael’s first wife, Ribah, was rude to Abraham when he came to visit Ishmael. She did not even ask him who he was. But all the while, she was beating her children in the tent, and she was cursing them, and she also cursed her husband, Ishmael, and spoke evil of him, and Abraham heard the words she spoke to her children, and it was an evil thing in his eyes. Abraham left a message, “When your husband returns, convey my salutation to him and tell him to change the threshold of the gate (of his house).”⁴ Ishmael understood his father’s words, complied with his father’s wish, and divorced his wife. Ishmael did not even come to Abraham and ask what happened because he thought that as a prophet, his father would know better than he, and all Abraham had done was for his son.

Proper respect for parents includes their being addressed and greeted properly. The modern idea of calling fathers and mothers by their first names certainly is promoting a familiarity that will not lead to respect, obedience, or honor. Abraham stayed away from Ishmael and his family for a period as long as God wished, and called on them afterwards. He saw Ishmael under a tree, sharpening his arrows. When he saw Abraham, he immediately rose up to welcome him and they greeted each other. Abraham said, “O Ishmael! God has given me an order.” Ishmael said, “Do what your Lord has ordered you to do.” Abraham asked, “Will you help me?” Ishmael said, “I will help you.” Abraham said, “God has ordered me to build a house here,” pointing to a hillock higher than the land surrounding it. Then they raised the foundations of the Ka’ba.

Respect for parents should remain in force even in relation to parents who may have lost faith. If a faithful person has unfaithful parents, he should treat them respectfully in his dealings and advice, while remaining aloof from their polytheistic lives. He should neither be harsh nor vulgar. Islam instructs Muslims to pray to God for the forgiveness of their parent’s sins, if any, and present their good deeds for the benefit of their parents’ souls. In Islamic and Jewish tradition, Abraham’s treatment of his father, Terah, is a certain testimony to this.

As the Book of Joshua reports, the father of Abraham, Terah, worshipped other gods (Josh. 24:2). Terah was a well-known idolater; he not only worshipped idols but sculpted and sold them as well. Abraham was engaged in debate with his father to convey the truth to him; “O my father! Why do you worship that which does not hear, see, nor can it profit you anything? Do not worship idols and therefore follow me. I will guide you to the straight path. Otherwise, I fear that a punishment from God may afflict you so that you will become a friend of Satan. Nevertheless, I will seek forgiveness for you from God.”

The New Testament is very plain concerning obedience to parents. “Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord” (Colossians 3:20); “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right” (Ephesians 6:1). Obedience is the foundation for all character. Parents do not have to convince children of the logic behind their orders because parents are experts on their children, and possess a great deal of information that even teachers do not have, so a child must maintain the parent’s dignity and respect at all times, even when disagreeing. Obedience to parents should always be immediate, instant, without question or argument. What the father says do, the son does. He does it well, he does it immediately, and he does it without argument.

Abraham was commanded by God to sacrifice his only son Isaac (or Ishmael). This indeed was a clear test. Therefore Abraham carefully prepared to carry out the order of God. In the Quran, Abraham has a dream, mentions the dream to his son, and asks Ishmael his opinion: “‘O my son! I have seen in my dream that I should offer you in sacrifice so think about that and tell me your view.’ He unhesitatingly said: ‘O my dear father! Do as you are commanded, by the will of God, you will find me of the patient ones,’ and Abraham laid him down on the side of his forehead.” ⁵ As you have seen, Isaac (or Ishmael) does not resist his father, obeys his wishes, and lies down like a ram. In addition, in the Bible, the sole dialogue between the two (Abraham and his son) repeats the words father and my son (twice each), expressing their emotional bond.

The parents continue to have rights over their children after death. People are expected to visit their parents’ graves, to maintain contact with their friends, and to conduct themselves well so as to show that their parents have provided them with a good education. One can honor his parents after their death through the following methods: Praying for them, giving charity on their behalf, instituting a perpetual charity on their behalf, such as a library, hospital, or orphanage.

Coming back to Ishmael and Isaac, destiny had separated the two brothers from each other. After years, Isaac and Ishmael were rejoined at their father’s burial (Gen 25:9). They showed proper filial piety, despite earlier disagreements, in joining together to bury their father.⁶ The burial is supervised by both sons. While Isaac placed the headstone, Ishmael placed the footstone of the grave. Although Ishmael had long ago been dismissed, he was not utterly alienated from his father because he performed the office of a son in celebrating the obsequies of his deceased parent. Ishmael, rather than the other sons, did this, as being nearer.⁷ As a child, Ishmael had a last duty due to his father, and he carried out this duty, attending Abraham’s funeral and burying him.

The obligation to honor one’s parents is an obligation that one owes to God and fulfills this obligation through one’s actions towards one’s parents. In the Hebrew Bible, our relationship with God is continually compared with a parent-child relationship. God tells us in the Ten Commandments to obey and have respect for parents. This does not mean that we only obey our parents when we agree with them or fully understand why they are telling us to do something. We must obey them at all times. We must also honor and have respect for parents. God does not want us to put our parents above Him, but he does desire for us to treat them as He desires for us to treat Him.

Notes

1 Martin Luther, Martin Luther’s Large and Small Catechism, Translated by F. Bente and W.H.T. Dan, (Sioux Falls, SD: Nuvision Publications, 2007), 67.

2 Niyi Taiwo, Respect: Gaining It and Sustaining It. (Philadelphia, PA: Xlibris Corporation, 2007), 25.

3 J. H. Parry, The Book of Jasher, (New York: Cosimo, Inc, 2005), 68.

4 Muhammad Muhsin Khan, The English Translation of Sahih Al Bukhari with the Arabic Text, (Al Saadawi Publications, 1996), Volume 4, Book 55, Number 583.

5 Ali Unal trans, The Qur’an with Annotated Interpretation in Modern English, (New Jersey: The Light, 2006), Saffat 37:102.

6 Gordon J. Wenham, Genesis 16-50: Word Biblical Commentary, ed. David A. Hubbard and Glenn W. Barker, (Dallas: Word Books, 1994), 165.

7 John Calvin, Calvin’s Commentaries on Genesis. trans. John King, (Grand Rapids, Michigan: Eerdmans, 1963), 2:38.

References

• Calvin, John. Calvin’s Commentaries on Genesis. trans. John King. Grand Rapids, Michigan: Eerdmans, 1963.
• Khan, Muhammad Muhsin. The English Translation of Sahih Al Bukhari with the Arabic Text, Al Saadawi Publications, 1996.
• Luther, Martin. Martin Luther’s Large and Small Catechism. Translated by F. Bente and W.H.T. Dan. Sioux Falls, SD: Nuvision Publications, 2007.
• Parry, J. H. The Book of Jasher. New York: Cosimo, Inc, 2005.
• Taiwo, Niyi. Respect: Gaining It and Sustaining It. Philadelphia, PA: Xlibris Corporation, 2007.
• Unal, Ali, trans. The Qur’an with Annotated Interpretation in Modern English. New Jersey: The Light, 2006.
• Wenham, Gordon J. Genesis 16-50: Word Biblical Commentary. ed. David A. Hubbard and Glenn W. Barker. Dallas: Word Books, 1994.

Honor killings are not a new type of murder or unique to any particular time or place. They are not associated with Islam, and there is no difference in their base causes or those of Femicide and crimes of passion. Several religious and cultural traditions have held the view that women are second class citizens compared to men; that their place in society is to benefit men; or that they are possessions to be dealt with in a manner befitting a man’s choice. In Ancient Rome, “honor played an important part in the structure of Roman society… justifications for honor killings can be found in the family law of the Roman Empire” (Shah-David, 2011 p. 191). The legal differentiations between honor killings and other forms of homicide are based in Roman law. The father, or pater familias (head of the family), had jus vitae ac necis (power of life and death), thus no punishment could be imposed on a father or husband for killing their female family members (Bettiga-Bourerbout, 2005). It is also said that Judeo-Christian religious tradition claims men and women were punished because of Eve’s decision to eat the forbidden fruit; women were punished further by being made subservient to men, and made to suffer through the pain of child birth and menstruation (Azeem, n.d.). Yet as Shah-David claims, killing in the name of honor is also found in other societies, such as Hindu communities and in Sardinia and Sicily. Despite these incidences, “this does not mean that Roman Catholicism encourages it” (2011 p. 191). In Australia, in a case of a Western Caucasian couple, a man strangled his wife, and community members claimed, “It is an honor killing…to avenge his male pride, to reassert his status in the world. He saw himself as the patriarch of the family and refused to accept her right to leave.” (The Age, 2006). The question must be asked why Islam remains as justification for femicide and why its occurrence is amplified when committed in Muslim societies.

Islam calls people to unburden themselves from the restraints and false claims of the material life and to return to God and the true way of life. As such, a society with material values will stand against such an ideal (Abushouk, 2006). Honor killings are a cultural practice, just as the Western media magnifying their occurrence is also cultural. It is statistically recorded that crime incidents against women in some Western countries are drastically higher when compared to Muslim and some non-Western countries. (Nation Master, 2011). These statistics support that Islam is not behind the underlying attitudes of violence towards women.

Honor killing is the murder of a person who has supposedly brought dishonor to a family and where a public display condemning that person is required to restore family respect. This supposed shame is most commonly attributed to a family member who commits – or is accused, or suspected of committing – an indecent sexual act. Even rape is sometimes considered to “blacken” a woman’s chastity, and thus tarnishing her family’s honor. There is a belief that blood will remove the stain upon the family. This means the death of the woman – and sometimes, though less often, the death of the man, too. These deaths are very often public.

Honor killings may also occur when a woman will not enter into a forced marriage, seeks to obtain a divorce, or acts in any way which may be considered sexually promiscuous and a male family member feels dishonored by such displays (Merry, 2009). Being “too Western” is also a reason given to justify this type of crime (Chesler, 2010).

However, Islam gives very clear instructions about behaviors regarding women, adultery, divorce and legal testimony; these instructions go against any justification for honor killings. Women are considered the spiritual equal of men, their responsibilities towards God the same. There are differences between a man and woman regarding their respective worldly duties, but there is plenty of evidence in the Qur’an and in the practice of the Prophet that women should be treated fairly and gently. They are to be treated with a deep respect, going so far as to lay heaven under a mother’s feet (Hadith, Ahmad Nasai), and are entitled to receive honor and the best form of care: “The best among you is the one who is the best towards his wife” (Muslim).

Therefore, the relationship between men and women is to achieve mutual benefit and pleasure, and to help each other achieve their purpose in life. With regard to adultery, both men and women are equally responsible. Even though couples are encouraged to stay together, divorce is still halal (permissible) in Islam if a man and woman feel they cannot be equitable to each other and if they have exhausted all possible solutions. As such, claiming that wanting a divorce is grounds for dishonor and murder cannot in any way be ascribed to Islam. The Qur’an also states that four reliable witnesses be brought to testify against a women they claim is impious (An-Nisa 4:15). This is far from a support for honor killings on grounds of suspicion. A lack of Islam and cultural reasons can be the only other basis for this rationalization. And many people – both Muslim and non-Muslim – have expressed concern over “Western values” spreading through the Islamic world (Abou El Fadl, 2005). Sexual promiscuity may be seen as encouraged by Western media and Hollywood. Yet the concerns people express over this is by no means an excuse or justification for murder, but rather an example of why Islamic values must be holistically implemented, especially in Muslim’s lives.

Any justification for killing in the name of honor goes against true honor from God. Culturally developed and encouraged desires have an influence over people and their self-control, allowing a justification and belief to develop that they have a right and responsibility to commit heinous acts. No example in Islam can support honor killing. Therefore, we see that it is a cultural practice caused by the incorrect or incomplete application of Islam in Muslim societies. There are many examples, as given above, which prove that honor killing or other forms of femicide are among many very serious human problems. It is a grave form of human violence, and a true and comprehensive interpretation of Islamic values proves that Muslims can, and must, positively contribute to solving this problem, not the other way around. If some disgraceful practices are being attributed to Islam, it is not because they are part of Islam but because some Muslim communities are simultaneously practicing and propagating a blend of Islamic, contemporary, and Jahiliyyah (pre-Islamic ignorance) teachings. Islam is a holistic religion; a person’s life, death, actions, beliefs, feelings, obligations, and their very nature is addressed in the Qur’an and the Prophet’s practice. Through the revealed scriptures and the examples of the Prophets, God has taught humanity about our vices and virtues, but also how to overcome and strengthen them so we can achieve balance and happiness. A proper understanding of how to achieve this balance entails a thorough, rather than partial, reading of the wonderful sources at our disposal.

Kim Soltani is a student of Islamic Studies at the Centre for Islamic Studies and Civilisation, Charles Sturt University, Sydney, Australia.

References

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