When we thought we were headed towards days of light and filled with hope, all of a sudden, cries of darkness began to be heard here and there. “Are we turning back to the olden days of conflict?” – we chilled with the possibility.

By contrast, how enchanting those words once sounded: “Respect for humanity,” “love for everyone and everything,” “compassion toward the whole world.” We took so much pleasure in these words. Loving them, we walked calmly and with confidence toward the future, without even pausing to think of the obstacles that would arise along the way. Then, out of nowhere, the demons of resentment, hostility, and anger emerged before us.

With the pitch-dark thoughts they scattered, they dimmed the horizons, tore down bridges, and made the roads impassable. At times, they appeared as if they were envoys of light, yet played games of the dark; at other times, they revealed their true bleak colors and declared war against enlightened ideas. They did not hesitate to defame even the most sincere and charitable thoughts and efforts. Whether acting as mere extras in the drama of darkness or masquerading as bearers of light, they remained dark all the same. Regardless, they were splurging on the performance of Satan and fanning the flames of dissension.

For quite some time, many of us have abandoned everything of value and turned instead toward destroying the bonds of brotherhood and friendship. We became so blind we did not realize we were destroying ourselves. Furthermore, we directed all our emotions and thoughts towards enmity. This became a part of our lives. Despite yearning for brotherhood and friendship, we constantly breathed hostility. But despite this desperation, we were unable to change. If only we had!

Had we been able to establish such brotherhood and friendship, we would have leapt over the mountain-sized problems now before us and perhaps made our voices heard all the way to the stars. But we could not – or rather we were prevented from doing so. Different groups were made into enemies, clashing constantly, opposing nearly every person and every idea, thus turning themselves into victims of the age. Today, some of us react against everyone and everything, branding whoever thinks differently. We fail to consider that if such behavior continues, we will soon be all alone, captives of our own desperation, slowly turning the possible gardens of the future into dungeons of hell.

Despite all this, we still have countless reasons and motivations to form the foundation of our hopes. What happens with some of us, however, is that reason and judgment fall captive to emotions. Thus, they live in constant inner contradictions and continually stumble into crises at the very core of their fundamental ideas.

Indeed, when thoughts and actions are programmed to destroy one another, such groups cannot constitute a sound nation, even if they are from the same homeland. They live and die as captives, entangled in the web of conflicts and falling apart.

I wonder: is it not time for us to seriously question ourselves and our motives? If this insensitivity continues – may God forbid – we may find ourselves trapped beneath the ruins of our self-destruction. The mere possibility of this should make us tremble with fear and encourage us to embrace one another. As a society, our primary, most significant virtue, is the respect we show one another. Our greatest source of power is the solidarity we build across our hearts, emotions, consciousness, and willpower. At its core, all of this rests upon accepting one another as we are. And yet, while we extend messages of friendship to the whole world, we withhold even a fraction of that friendship from our own people. Why is that?

I agree that we should display friendship and kindness to all; but prior to this, is it not our duty to eliminate the resentment, hostility, and enmity we harbor towards one another? These hateful feelings are a disgrace, whether the person harboring them is a religious leader, scientist, scholar or an executive. Indeed, such individuals are lessened both in the eyes of God and in the eyes of the nation. What could have been a great achievement ends in failure.

Respect for humankind is a necessity of being human. Loving people is a requirement of God’s good pleasure and is of benefit to society. Those who act disrespectfully only reveal their own lack of character and humanity. Those who despise others reveal the true identity of their consciences. Those of superior character are always modest and humble. This serenity of spirit infects those around them. In their eyes, there is nothing more valuable than love and respect… they would choose to love and be loved, rather than ruling the universe. These are individuals who base their own lives upon the happiness and prosperity of others. They exist to serve others and strive to live on the path of the great Prophets.

Harboring kind thoughts and aspiring to goodness for everyone is a decree of God. They believe that this kindness will be rewarded in the hereafter. Although these individuals may not be pursuing such a reward, for every good deed, they obtain the reward of ten deeds. Those who succumb to resentment, abhorrence, and hostility are continuously undermining their own humanistic values and destroying their position in the hearts of others. Continuing to live in the grip of evil emotions and ambitions is nothing but self-torture and immorality. Recognizing the good in everyone and embracing all is evidence of high stature and heroism, for to bring under control one’s resentment, anger, and selfish desires is nothing less than a heroic act. Such heroes free themselves from the humiliation of being slaves to their egos and laborers for Satan. Instead, they rise as honorable servants of God and become masters of their own inner worlds.

As a society, for a long time now, we have been slaves to our desires and carnal soul. Many of us act upon Satan’s provocation, causing us to feel offended by everyone. Whether we are conscious of this behavior or not, we betray our human values and throw our inner worlds into turmoil. Our hearts, which are the pavilions of love and affection, have been overwhelmed by the emotions of evil. Our souls have been commandeered by abhorrence and hostility. We are no longer capable of loving, embracing, or tolerating one another. Our pavilions resemble owls which dwell in rundown structures; we practically enjoy destruction and the sight of ruins. We attack everyone and everything, and with a massive sense of ambition, we constantly pursue destruction. We are disrespectful to God, to people, and to our fellow men. We commit unforgiveable sins. What is more, we even expect praise for the evil things we do.

Every new day sees the sun rise on yet more oppression, aggression, and injustice. The nights pass in total darkness. It’s almost as if we are determined to be a society of sin. Our humanity is overshadowed by our egoistic desires. Our emotions dominate our logic and judgment. Our hostility overwhelms love and tolerance. We condemn so many with our preconceptions. Who will we hurt or abuse next? We are caught in a state of perpetual insanity. We crave oppression and are not ashamed of abusing others or by continuously committing sin.

There are so many sins for which we must repent! The sin of defying God; the sin of resentment and hostility towards others; the sin of disrespecting different opinions; the sin of sowing the seeds of controversy and division; the sin of seeing and thinking nothing but doubt and gloom; the sin of considering ourselves as innocent and all those around us as criminals; the sin of destroying our own humanistic values; and so many more… Now must be the time to repent.

Let us view the days of light on our horizon as an opportunity for forgiveness and to purify ourselves. From this moment on, we should make every attempt to respect others, to guard our humanistic values, and to accept everyone for who they are. Let’s bury the past with all its dismal perspectives and not make yesterday’s mistakes cause for today’s conflicts. We must underline the importance of solidarity and brotherhood at every possible opportunity.

If humane values still beat in our hearts, even faintly, and if we have enough strength, then let us enthusiastically embrace one another. Let us gather the pieces we have shattered and scattered, and find ways to bind them together so firmly that they will never again be torn apart. We always considered resentment, abuse, and anger as brutal hijackers – we must put them to bed. Let us try to understand the language of the heart that will make us loved by people and bring us closer to God.

Transforming this sacred land to paradise can be accomplished only by those who build paradisical gardens in their own souls. Those whose souls are in the grip of carnal desires – desires that lower humankind with contempt, would not only fail to build such gardens, but even if, by chance, they passed through the meadows of Paradise itself, they would likely darken their face and turn them into dungeons.

Let us make the best of these days when the skies and our spirits are illumined with divine grace and heavenly lights, when the breaths of Gabriel the Archangel are felt all around. Let us join hands once more, speak with our hearts, and raise our voices together until they echo among the stars.

Since the creation of mankind, humans frequently longed for a much different world, and have occasionally criticized the periods in which they lived. This behavior may be acceptable, even admired, if it stems from the longing for eternity we feel in our conscience, or for an enthusiasm we have for a lost paradise. However, when this criticism targets the present time and is expressed with despair and pessimism, I believe it is neither admirable nor acceptable. Rather, it should be viewed as a disease that warrants careful scrutiny. When discontent leads to dismissing long-standing principles and traditions that have withstood the test of time and collective wisdom, it may reflect a need for introspection and a deeper understanding of spiritual and social harmony.

Unfortunately, this kind of contrarianism is increasingly prevalent today. With arguments that contradict each other, people question everything that has been embraced by the general public. They dismiss all that comes from the past as outdated and believe it must be discarded, yet they seldom propose constructive alternatives. Instead, they act with a purely rebellious mindset, adopting the attitude, “We will destruct everything now and if something has to be done, we will consider that later.” Such an approach often leads to a cycle of destruction rather than meaningful renewal.

This rebellious and impulsive mentality is entirely different from the constructive desire to refine outdated ideas and replace them with fresh interpretations. Nor is it a response aimed at those who adapt indiscriminately to everything, failing to distinguish between good and bad.

I believe the root of such behavior lies in hysterical anguish, a confused mentality, a crude form of thoughtlessness, spiritual instability, or a fanciful urge to say something new for the sake of novelty. Those who act in this way manipulate words and concepts, creating ambiguity and obscurity that often cloud their so-called ideas. This is frequently done to conceal their lack of depth on one hand and to seek attention or validation on the other. In every word, thought, and action, they seek to captivate more fans, yet remaining prisoners of their own desires.

These emotional states may not seem extraordinary for a spiritually diseased person, for their emotions and thoughts are stalked by inner conflicts and contradictions. However, when such a spiritual state goes beyond individuals and begins to cause uncertainty and confusion in the society and holds people captive, it cannot be ignored.

Occasionally, this kind of behavior and discourse can also be found in people of exceptional intelligence who are experiencing a state of crisis and depression. This arises because such individuals, in their search for alternative systems, often engage in profound self-interrogation of their egos and exhibit the courage to critique and question their own thoughts. However, this noble state of self-examination is as distant from the rebellious destructive state as the sun is from the earth. One represents the resolute, thoughtful path of the Prophets, and the other of deceitful naysayers.

The representatives of the first way are great architects of thought, resolute in their commitment to building. Even when they must destroy, it is only to lay the foundation for a greater construction. In contrast, the unfortunate representatives of the second way are never genuine in their emotions, thoughts, or actions. They spend their lives in a constant state of ebb and flow. Even when they appear to build, in truth, they only destroy.

“I am educated; I am an intellectual,” they delusionally repeat. Influenced by disbelief, communistic ideologies, and nihilism to varying degrees, they exist like the people of purgatory, suspended in an intermediary state. In their thoughts and emotions, these hybrid individuals do not fully align with either the East or the West. Instead, they remain disconnected from the essence of both worlds, yet show little hesitation in presenting themselves as otherwise. The following lines seem as though Mehmet Akif the poet wrote them with such individuals in mind.

They neither look to the East, nor are aware of the West,
nor have any share of good conduct.
All they have as resources is a face that do not blush
and eyes that do not water.

According to this shameless perspective—one that can emerge from any ideological group—humanity stands on the brink of terrifying destruction. Disasters and tribulations, recurring throughout history, now surge as dense and merciless as tidal waves. Rulers are as despotic as Caesar and as self-centered as Napoleon, while the population at large is viewed as a heedless, disrespectable mass.

According to this same perspective, just as past civilizations were born, flourished, and ultimately vanished, the civilizations of our age will also fade away, one by one. For the last time, the world will descend into a dark abyss of despair and gloom. Indeed, the current civilization has already obliterated much of the meaning it inherited from past civilizations, which once served as its spirit and roots. Today, individuals in many parts of the world stand as striking examples of deprivation. The family unit is in a state of profound disintegration and shambles. Parents often appear indifferent as their children pursue nothing but carnal desires. With this indifference, they risk harming the souls of their children, who seem to exist merely as products of fleeting physical pleasure. Spiritual values are disregarded, violated, and subjected to disrespect.

The education of the heart and conscience has faded from prominence, leaving new generations struggling under the weight of their own ego-driven desires. “Hearts are merciless, emotions are base, ambitions are wicked. / Eyes look disparagingly on the worshippers of God” (Akif). These living corpses, who spend their entire lives consumed by eating, drinking, and pursuing worldly pleasures, remain entirely unaware that they are continuously circling the whirlpool of evil.

Homes, whether in the countryside or urban areas, often lack the warmth of emotion, compassion, understanding, and mindfulness. Many streets evoke a sense of despair, their corners heavy with gloom. Schools, in many ways, seem to have lost their direction, leaving them adrift in uncertainty. Places of worship have become quiet shadows of their former vitality, visited by those who may not fully appreciate the spiritual depth they once embodied. Centers of spiritual retreat, once vibrant with meaning, are now reduced to ceremonial traditions lacking their original essence. Power is now enslaved to cruelty and oppression, hanging over truth like a merciless sledgehammer. Freedom has become a token granted at the pleasure of tyrants. Order is established by brute force, and desperate cries echo everywhere.

In the presence of such pessimistic scenes, neither hope nor determination remains. I am unsure if portraying these scenes serves any benefit, but one thing I do know is that even the purest of minds can become muddled by such depictions. Many of these portrayals are, in fact, true, and events attest to them. For instance, it is true that we are beggars at the doors of a cruel world to which we have devoted ourselves as servants. It is true that we abandoned the rich inheritance of our past: our values, beliefs, customs, and traditions and, to a certain extent, we have even abandoned our spirituality. We have imported foreign ethics and perceptions as though they were scientific or technological commodities.

Yes, it is true that our ship has been battered repeatedly – but we have no right to paralyze our determination, or portray it as such, to reborn within our feelings, thoughts, and conscience. Whether we possess such a right or not, any word, thought, or action that weakens our hope and willpower is not only disrespectful but also a betrayal of our ideals. Moreover, in our life of thought, determination and

faith, a significant regeneration is clearly underway– even if difficulties remain. Indeed, although it may appear frayed and weakened, the willpower of people is flourishing almost everywhere, awakening to the purpose of their creation.

We can hear the echoes of supplications turning to God all around us. Equally sacred are the breaths of God’s servants, pursuing the path of truth, which ascend as melodies of elation to the habitants of the heavens.

As one prophetic tradition suggests, it would not be an exaggeration to say that angels converse about the prayers reverberating within the domes across the world. While some of us may not fully deserve the roles we hold or do justice to the positions we occupy, the ballads rising at the intersection where the farsightedness of friends meets the curiosity of enemies are undoubtedly the songs of our revival.

Indeed, the roads we have walked have brought us to town squares and harbors, from which we believe we will set sail to the boundless horizons we nurture in our hopes. Thus, perhaps not all members of our society feel the same, we are in a state of eagerness and excitement, as if embarking on a journey along the slopes of Paradise.

In the very near future, the sun, moon, and stars will rise and set over our hillsides, illuminating the blossoms of modesty, honesty, loyalty, devotion, the passion for knowledge, and the spirit of exploration. Wherever we go, we will walk under arches of rainbows built just for us, and the days when we will experience profound spiritual joys are fast approaching.

The dawn is just beyond the horizon, heralding days when every face will reflect sincere purity, every heart will burn with the fire of love, and every action will carry an otherworldly depth. These will be days when we journey from one captivating vista to another, basking in the radiance of our bright fortune with smiles of gratitude.

We have complete faith that, despite the growing disrespect and egoism of these modern times, we are on the verge of a new day where respect will flourish and thrive, and the gentle breezes of humbleness, modesty and kindness will sweep across the world.

The younger generations have endured the erosion of their inner worlds, led from one abyss to another. They have been confined to a three-dimensional space and a dull, colorless, single dimension of time, disconnected from both the past and the future. Yet, amidst this, we witness many who, with their farsighted and purposeful visions, have lifted their spirits off the ground, have managed to re-orient themselves to their inner truths, and explored the beauties of the universe and existence.

The spirit and ethical values that form the foundations of our society have resurfaced once again with their unique qualities and dimensions of consciousness, emotion, willpower, and heart. On many faces, we see a radiant expression of modesty, while their actions exude sincerity and enthusiasm. This spiritual depth and humility are promising signs for these new generations.

Today, this pure generation seems to be fulfilling its responsibilities with a profound sense of duty and passion, offering us the chance to reclaim the lost gardens of prosperity. While these youth grow

vertically in personal depth and character, their numbers increase exponentially across society—a blessing from God. Indeed, these selfless individuals, who sacrifice their own comfort for the well-being of others, inspire hope that the afflictions of the past few centuries will soon come to an end.

In much the same way that fire melts solids and purifies impurities, the disasters and hardships of the past few centuries have led our society through a process of self-purification. These trials have inspired a renewed commitment to preserving this newfound purity and innocence.

Yesterday, destiny—always just—placed shackles on our society and made us captives of our desires, reflecting the inner corruption of our souls. Today, that same destiny will surely guide us to glory, as signs of hope illuminate our hearts, and our willpower and determination grow as strong as steel.

Two themes stand out in this issue of The Fountain. The first is from the topic of this year’s essay contest: How to focus in a time of distractions. For this issue, we have selected two shortlisted essays by two authors from two distant parts of the world. Mette Dencker, a former member of the Danish parliament, identifies five categories of distractions which suggest we dispose them similar to the way we dispose our garbage. According to Dencker, some of the distractions we encounter are out of our control, while others can be ignored. Some distractions we generate to procrastinate, while others can be positive, and we can be uplifted by them. Dencker emphasizes the importance of awareness and categorization to effectively manage and overcome distractions, ultimately leading to a more focused and grounded self.

The second article about “distractions” is from an Indian scholar, Mohammad Abul Mufazzal. Dr. Mufazzal explores the pervasive issue of distractions in our modern lives and the importance of reclaiming focus. After asserting that we should first acknowledge the prevalence of distractions, particularly from technology and social media, Dr. Mufazzal delves into the psychology of distraction, discussing how our brains handle attention and the fallacy of multitasking. He emphasizes the need to understand the cognitive processes involved in distraction and provides practical strategies for reclaiming focus, ultimately advocating for a more mindful and deliberate approach to technology and attention in the digital age.

The second major theme covered in this issue is the Parliament of the World’s Religions 2023, held in Chicago from August 14 to 18. The Fountain had a booth at this unique event. First organized in 1893, the Parliament convened again a century later in 1993 and every four or five years since then. In relation to the Parliament, Halime Benzer reflects on the importance of interfaith dialogue, defending freedom and human rights in the face of despotic rulers and authoritarian regimes. Benzer also mentions the importance of selfless service, compassion, and humility in building connections among individuals from different backgrounds and beliefs. In a second article Hakan Yesilova explores the themes of fear and hope, drawing parallels between two recent movies with huge box-office success, “Oppenheimer” and “Mission Impossible,” and the Parliament of the World’s Religions. “Oppenheimer” raises fear about the destructive potential of nuclear weapons, which remains relevant due to ongoing global conflicts. In contrast, “Mission Impossible” highlights the fear of rogue artificial intelligence, a concern exacerbated by advances in technology. The Parliament of the World’s Religions is portrayed as a beacon of hope, where people from diverse spiritual backgrounds come together in solidarity and friendship.

Amidst the chaos of distractions and hanging between fear and hope, we find a sense of direction in the Lead Article. In his unique poetic style, Gülen describes how humanity has once achieved a society of peace and trust, and how that is still possible despite the not-so-favorable circumstances of our age.

Sacred days and nights imbue everything and everyone with their own color, their own distinctive taste, and their own accent; they soften everything within their embrace, add to them a dream-like quality, and enable them to attain an unfathomable profundity. In those times, there is a deep charm sensed almost everywhere, from the streets and marketplaces, homes and places of worship, schools and barracks—a celestial gleaming on the countenances of the believers, and a holiness trickling from their gaze. The multicolored lights beaming into our eyes during the hours of the night, in particular, ceaselessly whisper to us the songs of residence in another dimension. Every countenance we encounter in homes, places of work, places of worship, sometimes ripple with sorrow, but they also occasionally surge with hope and expectation, as though perpetually experiencing a journey to union and becoming a cascade of emotion. Then we flow forth to eternity.

As the fervor for worship and devotion increases in our hearts, our ability to sense and experience everything in a different way bubbles over, so to speak, and draws us into its own ocean. At such times, our material connections weaken, our spirits are freed from mundane attachments, and we suppose ourselves to have ascended to a point from which we can wholly observe all creation. From now on, we embrace and love the plains and prairies, mountains and foothills, the houses in which we were raised, the places of worship in whose climate we prepared for the life Hereafter – in short, we love everything animate and inanimate as favors which have come forth from His hand. We breathe them into our lungs like oxygen and release a sigh of relief.

During these luminous days and nights, which rise forever like a flood of light, an enchanting belief, an intimate knowledge of the divine, love, and otherworldliness glisten in the comportment and general manner of believers. These spiritual delights surpass all material delights and pleasures, and everybody sets out towards the sacred horizon of their own unique axis. On this path, every believer attains a small union as they pass one more level each day, and thus crown, as it were, their blessed journey. As they experience reunion on a daily basis, they are reminded of the “great reunion” the dreams of which they nourish their souls with. They beam with the beauties filling their emotions, with the hopes burgeoning in the bosom of worship, and the meanings cascading in the eyes and hearts of all believers. Then, they descend into an otherworldly silence as if swimming in a magical stream which channels out to timelessness.

These fortunate ones have now reached the sea of pleasure sought by their spirits. Now, the eye of their hearts witnesses eternal beauties in the form of flowers blossoming in the gaze of the Beloved, or beams of light projecting from His beauty. They find themselves in a garden abounding with diverse fruits, roses, and flowers, entranced with the warmth of the welcome and reception of the One to Whom they devoted themselves for a lifetime. In their inner world they even sense the winds of promise in another dimension, of some of the bounties they are unable to reach in this realm, the flowing forth of reward. They sense being embraced by the profound and eternal mercy of the Owner of Infinite Mercy. With this state of mind, they experience life anew; they love everything more deeply, embrace others with tenderness, and they smell everything that reminds God like a rose.

During sacred days and nights, everyone—women and men, young and old, those who know and those who do not know, common people and the learned—takes on the spiritual beauties of this blessed time with their utmost elegance and refined manner in a more resplendent way than those existing in fables. They drape upon their faces, like a veil, the awe and splendor of having believed. They open and shut their eyes with the lights of the realms beyond, imbue their own scent and color to everyplace they visit. They become celestial, so to speak, in the depths of their feelings, and each believer becomes angelic. One cannot help but imagine the lamps of the minarets and in the streets to be emanating from their refined looks, pearls and feelings scattered all around – they are nothing but angelic beings in the eyes of others.

Indeed, these pure countenances ripple with belief, love, yearning, dreams, hope, pleasure, and reunion. Robust, enamored, blissful, and silent. The attitudes, behaviors, and looks which express the meaning in their spirits forever become manifest in their surroundings like the unreachable dimension of otherworldliness within the human being, and this enthralls all those who sense and perceive it.

During sacred days, some of us release ourselves by shedding our usual restrictive logic, and we give in to joy, elation, thrill, and tears, as though we have been invited to a heavenly realm. Some of us imagine ourselves to have embarked on a journey among the stars and come head to head with the sun and moon, and are overtaken by the impression that our breaths have blended into the breaths of the angels. Our hearts soften, our eyes water, the knots we have frequently felt within us loosen, and the nodes of the self are untied to be freed from carnality. Thus, our tears sweep before them all the problems pervading our spirits, and our consciences breathe a great sigh of relief, exclaiming, “All praise be to God.”

Everyone begins to sense, to the extent of the meaning filling their own heart, certain profundities they were hitherto unable to see, due to the carnal constraints: the young awaken with a sense of doing justice to their strength, power, and vitality; the middle-aged strive to be more productive in accordance with the self-possession procured by their experience and knowledge; and the elderly overflow with the joy of preparation for eternal bliss and the realms to which their spirits flutter. Everyone opens the eye of their heart, as though feeling their own destiny, which they were unable to sense completely before this time. They are exuberant or sorrowful with their own lot and turn to their own future; their eyes smile with the promises of their time, and their countenance deepens with meaning.

The sounds of public proclamations rising from mosques and minarets add a unique flavor and richness to this general state, such that everything—from the blowing wind to the pouring rain—brushes past our faces with His perfume and permeates our hearts with the elixir of immortality. The morning breeze makes itself felt like a breath from eternity and thrills our hearts like tidings and favors coming from Him. These enchanting minutes in which we thus turn to Him appear, by virtue of our belief, love, and hopes, as drops of the truth of eternity. They pour forth into our souls, stimulate the seeds of the tree of paradise in the depths of our spirit to yield fruit, and allow us to travel incessantly on the heavenly slopes in our hearts.

God is always beautiful and gracious, but we feel this meaning more deeply during particular periods of time. During such periods, which are considered to be the springtime of our spirits, He draws the entire rhapsody of our heart to Himself, makes His beauty and attraction felt to an irresistible degree, and revitalizes us each moment with a separate bounty and new favor. I do not think these blessed hearts have another pleasure greater than this one, for this spiritual pleasure springs from the Divine love innately found in humans and the Infinitely Merciful’s honoring them with His grace. His regard and favors are infinite and endless to the degree of the person’s love and connection being both from the heart and eternal.

It was a long, cool February night here in the bustling streets of Manila.

Once again, I looked up at the star-filled sky above me. I noticed something that looked like a big spoon but was larger and more distinct in size and brightness despite the presence of thousands; no, millions of stars above me.

The Big Dipper stared at me like a big ladle, ready to take me along on a journey towards destinations unknown.

For reasons that I cannot comprehend up to this very day, I cannot help but smile at the beauty of the constellation at night.

Most probably, it is because I had beautiful memories in life under the light of these stars.

The year is 2006.

I was lanky and tall for my age.

In addition, I was extremely curious about the world around me.

It is the final year of primary schooling at a public elementary school in Zamboanga City, a lively commercial center with an estimated population of more than a million people, give or take, at the western tip of Southern Philippines.

At the time, I never knew what a telescope looked like or what astronomy was all about. After all, our economic status did not provide us the means to buy astronomical equipment or to even buy materials for a full-fledged experiment.

Luckily, my science teachers held a camp in September of that year and they brought their precious telescopes with them.

Under a clear, picturesque sky and with a smooth, light breeze coming in from the sea, we peered upon the telescopes and identified different constellations as our teachers relayed their positions to us.

It was a wonderful experience. I learned a lot about astronomy within that night alone, probably more than what I would have learned inside the classroom or by reading these constellations in books.

However, as with many things in this ephemeral world, life has its own way of stomping through the past and erasing it into oblivion.

As such, I forgot all of them as the years passed by, except for one.

It was the Big Dipper.

Looking at the Big Dipper gives me hope that I could chase my dreams and reach them no matter the odds that I face currently.

Yes, I do face many challenges of varying complexity and novelty, stretching my faculties to its full extent.

Sometimes, the going gets tough.

There are indeed times when I thought of lifting the white towel in order to just get away from all of it.

But as with many of the best things in life, hope is the torch that keeps me moving forward.

As far as this age is concerned, we are living in a state of a partial darkness where wars, dictatorships, deaths, and calamities have become commonplace to the point that they are turned from newsworthy phenomena into an integral part of life.

They have seeped into people’s psyches to the point that hopelessness about the prospect of having a constructive, productive, and inclusive future has become the norm instead of it being the exception.

In this age, hope is a highly-esteemed currency that is held preciously by people who know the value of it.

After all, wasn’t Hope the last thing to stay inside Pandora’s box after sickness, death, turmoil, famine and all the other evil qualities went out of it?

This shows that as long as hope is alive inside a person’s heart, the keys towards a brighter future are always open for exploration and completion.

As I look back towards the ground, I realize something.

At the end of the day, the Big Dipper reminds me about a truth regarding life.

No matter how harsh and cold the night may seem to be, sunlight always follows in its path, rising to the top and eradicating the darkness and fear that is present inside our hearts, minds, and lives.

Most importantly, even though the evenings may be dark, the stars are always there, piercing the veil of darkness and serving as a beacon of hope.

A hope which states that the best things in life always come in the best way possible, regardless of how bad it was in the past.

After having that long gaze, I continue my way home with a smile.

Because I know once again that the night is always the beginning to a brighter morning and that the stars are there to remind me of that fact.

With newly found strength, I trace my steps back home and get ready to face another day in the roads of this journey that is called “life.”

(Circle3: On the touchy implorations by Imam Zeynel Abidin, continued)

Together with all of the fears and worries that this saintly person voices at his entreaties, he does not neglect to petition God with reference to divine beneficence and his heart changes rhythm with the excitement of hope. By behaving in this way, he presents an attitude that calls to mind the act of straightening up after bowing to God. For those who continue to struggle spiritually, he thus points to the ampleness of Divine Mercy with reference to the fact that “God’s mercy takes precedence over His wrath” [1]. One cannot help but remember the following words of a poet at this point:

“What would happen even if my sins were like the mount Qaf, O Majestic One,
Compared to Your sea of Mercy, it is surely a little thing”

He acts in accordance with this poetic idiom and spits in the face of sins and faults by imploring, “Please hold my hand to guidance, O God!” He places his head down on the doorstep of hope and petitions God once more by saying, “Mercy, mercy!” then he enters a mood as if he were sipping fresh oxygen and sighs on. Here are a few droplets from those breaths:

“O the One who responds with mercy as soon as His servants turn to Him, who never leaves their hopes unanswered, who saves them from the grief of falling apart from Him with the extra ways and disciplines that make them closer to Him, who covers up the defects of those polluted with sins and vices! O my most exalted Lord! As you never turned down those who turned to your door with hope and placed their head on Your doorstep empty handed, do not abandon this humble servant of Yours to despair either!”

With these cries, he makes petitions with a tone of fear and hope and thus gives the successors of his path signals for turning to that door with the feeling of hope. With a call to prayer, he lets the vastness of Divine Mercy be heard, even by unfortunate ones who have lost their sense of prayer direction. He calls to them to share his experiences and to hopefully inspire them to find their way. By presenting them with the most vivid messages woven out of hope and fear, he shows the ways towards a fresh revival with lyrics of resurrection after death; afterwards, like the archangel’s breath to initiate the resurrection, he blows life into them and turns them to the direction of the Divine they lost.

There are so many points I omitted from this profound session. With apologies to him and to readers, I would like to conclude with these diamond-like considerations. With other imploring groans special to his spiritual anatomy with heavenly riches, I would like to refer to some other life-giving points that sound like angelic melodies which he makes while his tears stream on. His tongue is guided by the heart, his thoughts beyond metaphysical realms, his sir (secret faculty) in citadels beyond and beyond, surpassing our comprehension. Here are a few droplets around the same theme as examples of those considerations, which deserve to be called a “legend of spirituality”:

“My God! Though I am without provisions, my reliance and submission to You is complete. In spite of this, when I think that my transgressions are boundless, I shake and fear from being subjected to Your punishment. On the other hand, when the ampleness of Your mercy comes to my view, my heart overflows with a feeling of optimism. So, when I am in that mood, although my sins make me groan with fear about perdition, my hope about Your pardoning gives signals of possible forgiveness to my soul.” What a balanced approach, which is found in those closest to God! What a profound blend of hope and fear! He continues to say, “Even though I came to Your sublime presence empty-handed, the consideration of the ampleness of Your bountifulness reinvigorates this servant of Yours and my eyes start shining brightly with Your beneficence’s promise of benisons. So much so that at the same moment when I am brimful with transgressions, my heart begins to experience changes of rhythm one after the other, with extra surprises of Your pardoning and breezes of proximity. Here I am at Your presence, O God! I let myself to the waterfalls of Your mercy and get away from myself as far as I can and turn to You with the entirety of my being!”

With a feeling of fear and insight of expectancy, he has an attitude of admitting failure to give his position its due. Then this great personage from those closest to God changes his orbit of prayer; virtually, with the idea that “worship is a result of blessings already enjoyed,” he once more takes into consideration the shower of Divine blessings that he has already received and begins to resonate with thankfulness by touching his face onto the doorstep of gratitude. He responds to God’s blessings beyond count and measure with thankful praises by giving his tongue and lips under the command of his spiritual intellect:

“My God! I do not know what to say before your immense blessings that come showering on the horizons of my perception consecutively. Before the Divine favors out of Your grace and generosity I remain spellbound and lost for words. When I consider Your very special blessings that come flowing like waterfalls and much beyond my deserts under the light of “Were you to attempt to count God’s blessings, you could not reckon them” (Ibrahim 14:34). Helpless to say anything, I double over with this feeling. Before those special bestowals of Yours, I feel manifold humility of indebtedness: My revival to life in the real sense with faith. Turning to Your door via Islam, with the honor and sense of duty of being sworn to worship only You, my head is down on the doorstep of munificence and grace, my hand on the knob of beneficence and bestowals, upon which I say “all of these are from You” and feel revitalized with thankfulness. Actually, even this feeling of thankfulness is from You. Whenever I offer thanks to You, given that thankfulness is another blessing of Yours – with such a virtuous cycle of thankfulness, I will never be able to offer due praise and thanks to You.”

If only we could continue our lives always on this course with awareness of these bestowals! Although we are not capable of thorough comprehension, I wish we could take what He has given as a sign of what He will give and thus take up the path to eternal bliss. It is especially important to remember this considering that this world is often compared to a carcass, without letting our hearts fall for this transient world. If only we could turn our backs to worldly status, fame, glory, wealth, corporeal desires, and thus always walk to the sun of suns without faltering. Alas! We fell for the attractions of this transitory world! With delusions of immortality, we were entangled with long-term worldly ambitions and suffered such losses on what could otherwise be a suitable ground for winning. Bediuzzaman put it so beautifully: “Alas! We have been deceived. We thought that this worldly life is constant, and thus utterly wasted everything. Indeed, this passing life is but a sleep that passed like a dream. This life, having no foundation, flows away like a brook.”

It is such a bitter fact that we fell for this deception, and at the expense of losing eternity. We were captivated by the passing attractions of these faithless desires and thus totally condemned the eternal realms to oblivion and thus darkened our futures. So much so that we were neither properly give the due of Divine bestowals and benisons nor were we able to comprehend them. To put this in the breaths of Ziya Pasha:

“We are the losers of this game once again;
For the loss is obvious, but I don’t know if we won anything at all.”

Actually, it was not possible for us to win. Because we led a carefree life as if we would never die and rendered this world—an arable field for the Afterlife—into a wasteland. By destroying the bridges extending to eternity on our course in the world one by one, we ceased the thoughts of the realms beyond and belief. We did not manage to come to our senses to see our miserable condition and turn to God.

Note

1. Bukhari, Tawhid 22; Muslim, Tawba 15.

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• Facing Oneself
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There was once a time when we enjoyed mutual love and respect. We had started to relate to one another. That was when everything looked different and cozy across the land. Even if some inappropriate and disturbing voices were occasionally heard, almost every segment of society was experiencing the excitement of spring and was having long summer dreams.

Almost all of us were embracing each other with the joy of rediscovering our golden memories and reclaiming who we once were. We were singing songs of love with the enthusiasm of learning about one another. Colorful images of a world of brotherly and sisterly love were in our ever-deepening aspirations and dreams. It was a time of friendliness, profound compassion, and universal mercy. We marched towards days in which feelings of grudge and hatred would and could not survive. We felt that our hopes and expectations had come fully alive inside of us; everything was opening to us with a magic that enveloped our whole being. We embraced the love, respect, and tolerance that were once woven into our lives, and called upon on our golden ages, which we called the prosperous “days of God.” We were filled with enthusiasm and hope as we constantly strove to become who we once used to be and moved forward to love the feeling of love, to hate the feeling of hate, and to resist the feeling of hostility in our hearts.

We needed to graft youth onto our aging spirits – to color our faded feelings with the vividness of our faith and to mark the hours with the magic of time that we still believed to be alive. We needed to release the hands of the clock, which had long been tied to a rusty spring! These were the intentions; whether these things were fully done is quite a different matter.

In our recent past we were engaged in a nationwide “dialogue,” and we felt like the season was moving towards spring; we were overjoyed with our blossoming hopes, and we lived constantly with the dreams that almost all segments of society would embrace this refined, delicate, and soft atmosphere. We evaluated every step forward as a sign of the dawn of days of love, and we were excited to be soaring towards the horizon of our dreams as if we were preparing for “a night of union with the beloved.” We were so excited that we felt our hearts could rip apart out of joy; we hoped the hours and days we had lost in the past would be returned to us.

If only we could have continued on this course! Actually, there was no apparent reason not to. However, in truth we have remained very, very much behind our hopes and dreams in this matter. We considered everything from the perspective of optimism, tolerance, and good opinion – it was beyond our imagination that enmity, hatred, rage, anger, fanaticism, and bigotry would still wait in ambush. We could perhaps be excused, because we thought that these cursed thoughts had completely died and no longer existed among the enlightened people of a civilized world. We thought that in a time when goodness, beauty, virtue, and universal values had been resurrected one after the other, these buried ideas would not come back to life again. If only we had not been mistaken! We valued respect and good opinion about others – sadly, we were mistaken.

All these bad feelings and evil obsessions, which we thought would not rise again, came back to life and reclaimed every realm like ghouls. Those overwhelmed with these obsessions were attacking everything with the delirium of a Qarmatian,[1] cutting everything and everybody with the logic of a Khawarij,[2] and assaulting everything with the attitude of an anarchist. They ran from one horror to another at the behest of enmity, hatred, rage, and anger; they destroyed the bridges to love and tolerance, ruined the roads, suppressed loving spirits, infused violence and rage into hearts beating with love, darkened the smiles on faces which are otherwise filled with compassion, and destroyed the points of cohesion among different circles and segments of society. They severed and tore into pieces the spirit of unity among them and scattered seeds of hostility among all the hearts they could reach.

Yes, first they shook the trust individuals felt for each other. They scattered seeds of negative thoughts and doubt among different segments of society. Then, with unimaginable slander and lies against representatives of tolerance, they twisted the most-sincere behavior and tied it to false goals and targets and set fire to all good works. They aroused suspicion regarding the most positive efforts, and they looked for different purposes in proposals that were made in the name of dialogue. They distorted and cut and pasted even the most beneficial words and statements into things that they aren’t. They displayed the most shameful examples of depredation.

Even if these satanic efforts did not have an impact on most of the people, they were sufficient to incite a marginal segment that has always been tied to violence, anger, enmity, and hatred. They rebelled and declared war on such concepts as “tolerance,” “love,” “accepting everyone as they are,” and “a world without war.” They shook the hope in hearts; destroyed the trust and confidence people had towards one another; and broke into pieces, scattered, and destroyed the basic principles tying different segments of the population together.

It is certain that they were not able to fool everyone, were not able to penetrate every bosom, were not able to arouse suspicion in every brain and were not able to seduce most people. However, their efforts to cut and sever, to divide and tear into pieces, and to smash everything were not completely unfruitful. Many people who had just recently escaped from the former days of conflict and who stood in their places unsteadily were again shaken, and all their feelings and thoughts regarding tolerance were turned upside-down. This meant that the efforts that had been put forward for years in the name of brotherhood, friendship, and dialogue were lost, and the roads leading to dialogue and peace that would be realized with efforts along this line were closed, even if temporarily.

In order not to feel in my spirit the sabotage of the many beautiful deeds and efforts that have been made to date and the destruction of the many positive developments, I turn the face of my dreams on another side and, escaping from reality, I try and suppress the palpitations of my heart. More accurately, at this moment I cannot think of anything else to do with the lethal dreams that have squeezed my heart, raised my blood pressure, and opened the way to illness. But however distant I try and remain from them, still the things that have happened sneak into my thoughts by any path and sometimes pierce my heart like a poisonous arrow. Even if I don’t want to, I moan and writhe with this egregious awareness that flows into my mind, and who knows how many times a day I wail, “O God, show us the way out and to relief.”

Sometimes I am frightened by the prospect that the webs of love among different segments of the society will be torn. Sometimes I shudder at the disturbing roars that suppress calls for tolerance and dialogue. I think of the misfortune that feelings of friendship and brotherhood are groaning under the lethal blows of enmity and hatred, and I recoil. Sometimes I remain frozen in my place without thinking anything.

Every time I think of the now-faded colors of those open and warm days of brotherhood and friendship—their vividness now faded in hearts and their horizons now darkened—I seem to be witnessing the face of someone walking towards death or the state of a building that has decayed and will soon be demolished. In my helplessness, I just react by moaning and trying to cool down my heart. When a feeling, a thought, an understanding, and a philosophy has been targeted so cruelly, how can it survive and continue to fulfill its goal? Those who observe the events with some common sense can pass a judgment on this.

The claims were groundless, the assault was merciless, the commotion was frightening, the campaign was planned, the conspiracy was satanic, and the targets of all these activities were friendship, brotherhood, and love. It was another invasion, and values were destroyed. Regardless of how sensibly the people acted, something broke off from their hearts, and the trust people had for one another was shaken to a great extent. After this terrifying noise and commotion, people would not be able to love one another as before, trust one another, come together comfortably; or, if they did come together, they would not be able to embrace one another as sincerely as before. Gatherings would no longer witness an exchange of smiles, people would not be able to shake hands in heartfelt ways, hearts would not be able to beat with compassion, and those days of warmth would fall in defeat to a strange February cold. This means that the door of each heart would not be open to everyone with the same warmth, eyes would become stingy with smiles, and lips would not murmur love.

It was as if the dreams for the future were finished, fantasies of unison and togetherness were destroyed, the lights of hope in hearts were extinguished, and breaths whispering safety were stopped. May God not show this strange silence again. Everything seemed to have surrendered to an anxiety-laden hush… These chilling pictures pass before my eyes several times a day, and I am being bent over and moan about the beautiful things that had been gained but are now labeled contemptible—things such as the love that had been broken into pieces and scattered right and left, human relationships, tolerance, dialogue, and understanding one another. I am moaning about the sabotage of the successes that had been achieved through very serious efforts; the ripping and tearing of that atmosphere of love; conflict among different segments of society flaring up again; enmity and hatred coming and dominating the scene; love, mercy, compassion, and hope for the future being driven away from door after door; and hostility once again rising up. I imagine myself writhing with pain and shudder at the tombstone of many beautiful things that have been killed.

However, in spite of this much evil and betrayal to what was once achieved, there are indications that those beautiful days will return and will be given back. It is like a building, half of which has been blown off or like an incomplete verse of poetry; yet there are so many lights on the roads we walk that inspire us with determination to restart construction or to excite the pen one more time. Every piece remaining from the world of hope that was destroyed and thrown aside seems to say, “Rely on God, hold onto hard work, submit to the divine wisdom / If there is a road, it is this; I know of no other way out” (Akif). Actually, the current situation is like a broken dream. This upsets me a lot, and I resent the things that are being done. However, since the path we follow is the path of the people, regardless of what we are subjected to, we are determined to meet everything that happens to us with patience and acceptance. As we envision in our soul the happy tomorrows of our society, we will reform our yearning and sadness with the joy of living for others; we will try to give this journey its due.

Some bigoted ideas have reduced our road to a rough trail; still, as long as there exists greenery swaying all around us, we will continue to love everyone. Indeed, we will continue this love, for there are friends on the road who trigger in our hearts the excitement to move forward; people who are open to dialogue with their most humane feelings and who continue to shake hands, embrace, and throw smiles around; consciences that recognize sin; spirits that regret mistakes; and minds that want to build the future on common sense and reason. We will once again gather together the damaged systems of our spirits, and, saying “one more time,” we will continue to love everyone.

Those feelings and thoughts, wilted by artificial dirges heard from almost all sides, will be reinvigorated when the season comes, and the music of spring will be once again heard everywhere.

In view of this much ruination, destruction, and fall—and urged by what my faith necessitates me to do—I have tried to voice a cry of persecution and inspire a feeling of determination and revival. I nurture the hope that my expectations will each be considered a prayer offered to the One, the Provider of needs.

Notes

[1] Qarmatians were a rebellious group that emerged in the tenth century from a group of Ismaili Shiites. They went as far as to desecrate the holy cities of Mecca and Medina, killed thousands of pilgrim Muslims, and shook the Abbasid regime. They mustered some strength and ruled over some of the Middle East until the mid-eleventh century, when they were forced to surrender.

[2] Having adopted an extremist doctrine in the first century of Islam, Khawarijs assassinated Ali, the fourth Caliph, and violently terrorized the stability of the Islamic state.

The day my husband died, my work for a newspaper had taken me out of the office to do interviews and take pictures. I hurried back to my computer because I wanted to finish early. The man I had loved for three decades had not been well for several years. He had attempted suicide several times before, and I had always been there to stop him, but today – on a most magnificent Tuesday, the kind of day only an Alabama sky can provide – I was worried. The weekend had given us new problems, and new problems usually brought with them reactions that could range from unusual behavior to a complete loss of hope.

I telephoned him as I drove from one interview to the next. We talked briefly about ordinary things and about my new idea: that he should try out a new program I had found. He had been diagnosed with bipolar depression in 2004, a behavioral disorder that decreases a person’s ability to handle stress. The toll this took on him in a few years far exceeded the ravages of major depression he had dealt with alone for a lifetime.

Those years had taken a toll on me, too. But I had no idea what lay just ahead. Suicide is not just a personal disaster. It happens to everyone in a family and devastates whatever life came before, changing forever those who are left behind.

After writing my column for the week, I left work early. I felt desperate to get home. On the way, I called him again. The day before had been his fifty-eighth birthday. Our plans had changed a couple of times recently, but the weekend had been eerily quiet. On Sunday afternoon, we sat on the deck in the sunshine. I grew tired watching him go through boxes of papers and discard this or that. At the time I thought he was just organizing. I left him to go inside and take a nap. When I returned he had finished, and the day ended with the sweetness I had known for so long: the satisfying closeness of just being with him.

But by this Tuesday, around four o’clock, the calls between our cell phones kept dropping – or perhaps he kept hanging up. I told him I was on the way home. As I did, I passed a grocery store and thought I should stop for a birthday cake. Yesterday had not gone well, and today I had a chance to do something special for him, but I was exhausted and felt driven to be with him. Something was wrong. I was sure of it. I didn’t stop, a fact I regret.

His voice, when we spoke again, was too calm. He told me he had broken into the gun safe, the one I bought after he had his first psychotic break. I realized later he could have done that at any time. My false sense of security had been nothing more than a thin veil.

“I’m not mad.” Inside, I panicked. What would I do now that I only had my voice with which to save his life? “Where are you?”

Carefully, as if speaking to a child, he told me. I asked him to put the pistol down and cross the road to our neighbor’s house. When the connection broke, I dialed 911, reported the situation, and heard the words that would change the course of my thinking.

“Don’t go in,” the operator said. “Sometimes they wait until they see you before they do it. Park on the side of the road where he can’t see you.”

That was something I had not thought of before. It terrified me. Woodenly, I obeyed. Now I had entered an alternate reality, shock creeping over me like a blanket. I stopped the car as close to the house as I could without being seen.

Eventually, a young deputy arrived, took my house key, and went inside, finding my husband’s body. He came back to my car, where I waited. Through the window, which was rolled down, he extended his hand, and I latched onto two of his fingers with my own. His expression was so pained that I couldn’t bear to make him tell me what he had found.  

“I know,” I told him, and he explained that the scene would first have to be treated like a homicide. I nodded and stayed where I was as he drove back to the house.

It took more time for neighbors to arrive and the call to go out to our church friends who gathered around the car and waited with me. I made calls to his family and to our children in three different states. I was deep in shock.

From there, the nightmare of the past few years changed into the hellish existence of a grief I had never known before. I was familiar with death. My mother had died. So had my father and my brother-in-law. Even in childhood, in my life as a preacher’s kid it was not uncommon for me to attend every funeral and visit every grieving household. I played the beautiful organ in our church sanctuary at the funeral of one of my best friends’ father when I was only nine or ten years old. I had read and written about death, but this was different.

Sometimes suicide comes without warning, but for several years before my husband’s suicide, his uncontrollable, rapid cycling moods and bizarre episodes left us both drained. He was at the mercy of his illness, and as I tried to help him and to get help for him in every way I could, I was at the mercy of his illness as well.

Physically, I had already used almost all of my strength. I had no reserves. My body was anemic; my mind was in a state of constant crisis. Even the moments between emergencies became crises because those were the waiting and worrying times. I never knew what would be coming next, but I knew it would be horrible.

Suddenly, as I sat in my car on the side of the road, he was gone, and I entered the aftermath of suicide. Since that day, I’ve worked alongside thousands of other survivors of suicide loss to try and understand what happened; and to mourn, heal, and rebuild. To help myself, I had to help others who were struggling through similar situations.

I discovered that grieving and hope can become entangled with regret and guilt and so many other emotions. During this confusing time, hope is a concept that is difficult to hold onto. Hold onto it we must, however, even if we have to borrow strength from each other.

Suicide changes us, but together, we can turn mourning into joy. For me, healing became a three-step process. I first found that co-support fortifies survivors so that obstacles like secondary wounding do not halt progress toward a successful return to life. Then, there is the essential but difficult step that enables survivors to let go of their past lives and turn toward new ones. No one wants to go on without a dear loved one, but a healthy recovery from grief depends on finding the strength to let go. Without this interim step, a survivor may not realize there are other ways to carry forward the memory of the lost one, other kinds of relationships that can be built with the departed. Lastly, there is an internal drive that emerges in most survivors that motivates them to go beyond just surviving to making meaning out of loss. This can manifest first as an instinctive need to do something. This guiding force inspires survivors to find or to create ways to carry a message forward, to turn their own personal tragedies into victories by helping others. They may write books, found organizations, set up foundations, or contribute in other ways. Many of these are artistic or creative in nature and come straight from the heart.

Suicide touches all kinds of people from every background and belief system. It can create a barrier between those closest to the person who died and those around them. Historically, suicide has been viewed by many societies as a social taboo, but the underserved stigma, shame, and shunning that surround suicide is being dispelled by the efforts of loved ones who are banding together to share both pain and healing. One such group – the Alliance of Hope for suicide loss survivors (www.allianceofhope.com) – is attempting to change the culture surrounding suicide worldwide. With the guiding slogan “Kindness Matters,” members share the simple but powerful knowledge that one can not only survive the loss of a loved one or friend to suicide but also can go beyond just surviving to rebuild happy, productive lives.

“You are not alone.”

“This was not your fault.”

“Healing is possible.”

“There are specific things you can do to build a new life that honors the one you lost.”

When I reach out in this way to comfort a mom or dad, a partner or child who is in more pain than they ever knew existed, it is because of the many times I saw my husband’s gentleness, his respect for all living things, his brilliant mind at work. His life is not defined by how he died. Neither is mine. He made such an impact on my life and on the lives of anyone who knew him that even his illness – even suicide – could not change the good he did in the world.

I can only hand survivors a little hope, but in that moment, hope is enough.

Thus far in time, and across different parts of the world, we have witnessed desires to realize a great many disparate notions of freedom, fraternity, and equality represented through differing philosophies, movements and currents. We have heard various proclamations in relation to these ideas, and have been filled with hope by flamboyant promises. Time and time again, we took consolation in, and were distracted by, inflated manifestos of revolution with the hope of reaching the paradise we had lost. Countless times we were entranced and so crafted exuberant dreams comprising complete freedom, complete equality, and complete fellowship, transcending the boundaries of race, nation, and geography. For a short period, presuming that we would connect the entire world together with a pure notion of humanity, we were even able to speak of a “world fellowship.”

However, we have been unable in fact to realize even the tiniest movement toward these ends, for in none of our attempts, or claims, did we possess the ability to intervene in the human spirit, as we could with material objects. Hence, while we declared war on human nature on the one hand, we constantly overlooked certain peculiarities pertaining to being human on the other.

We presumed to think that we would be able to bring together, like the beads of a rosary, different races and nations who differ geographically, culturally and in milieu. We did not take these differences into account. With complete disregard for any of these differences, we yielded to impertinence, as though we had received the mysterious keys to a paradise cherished in our dreams.

For all that, those things that were written, spoken of and declared, necessarily were kindled and imploded at the same time – like fireworks on nights of festivity – and were forgotten immediately after their expression. In the end, transient promises were replaced only by eternal disappointments and anguish. Inequality did not abate, but increased. Existing oppressions continued everywhere, even transforming into something resembling enslavement. Human rights and freedoms were mangled in the teeth of merciless wars and tyrannies, and the paradisiacal expectations for all of humanity broke against stanchions of hell. For weaker nations, this took the form of an interlude between one oppression and another, from one bout of ill-treatment to worse. With the announcement of each new Declaration of Human Rights, we became hopeful and rejoiced once more, only to experience new disappointments and dashed expectations.

As for now, there is nothing new. More than half of all humanity may have expectations with stirred hopes; yet, they intensely feel the pain and suffering of their subjugation, while striving to live through the anguish of their experiences with hope and some illusory happiness in their imaginations – if we can call this “living.”

We continue to witness today in various parts of the world the suffering and horror resulting from what the colonial powers perpetrated against the native populations in the past (all under the guise of truth and justice), and with the same consternation. It appears that until the time a select nation or a group of people arises – with the capacity to make history, to bring an end to the current flow of events, and to transform them with its colors – formulates lasting policies, and discovers and reveals our material and spiritual sources of strength, these bloody conflicts will inevitably continue at the hands of bloodthirsty murderers for some time to come. We need such a group of people who are strong, resolute, and competent; otherwise no declarations or proclamations of human rights will prove useful to solve our problems. The world needs people of love, fervor, and willpower who are intimately connected with their era, equipped with a profound historical consciousness, who are taut and ready to be released like the string of a bow, exceedingly astute, and who take great pains to collect all the hidden and disarrayed anguishes of society in order to turn them into a source of power. They know how to capture with their willpower the winds of history; with hands on the helm, and eyes on the compass, they are people who set sail to eternity. They are the buds and fruits of the past; they are the thinkers, architects, and laborers of the future. As they move onward, they break through all the adverse waves confronting them, and perpetually beat as rhythmically as a heart, producing the warmth of a pulse in the bosoms of those who follow them.

Powerful ideas, timely statements, comprehensive declarations, and right decisions are to be welcomed by all segments of society, which altogether have lasting effects, hold great promise for the future, and attain a distinct depth with these pure souls – rendering their strength and power a means to Divine Will. They consider everything as coming from the One with Infinite Power; yet, they do not neglect causes, and seek fully to utilize all the favors bestowed upon them by God as a way of attaining His good pleasure and approval, and thereby attain their lofty ideals. The endeavors of these people become expansive, attain a distinct immensity, and rapidly yield fruit to the extent of their being buttressed by historical dynamics and national resources.

The heroes who are to rebuild society anew are born, nursed, and shaped in the womb of history and societies of the past. Thereafter, these heroes prepare society, history, and the nation. Each aspect of these heroes is radiant, every thought a guide, and they will never be enslaved to our confounded and disorderly desires. On the contrary, they are always the spirit in our bodies, the strength of our will, and the kernel of perception and insight in our minds.

These people of wisdom, whom we believe will preserve with utmost care the meaning and content of an auspicious history, will imbue future generations with the spirit of the nation, enabling it to forever remain fresh and vivid.

However, in order for this to be realized with all deliberate speed, it is imperative that existing differences between the various segments of society are not used to polarize, devotion to the truth is not turned into a weapon of violence, and the evil is not supported against the servants of Truth. In other words, when we gravitate to striking the heads and breaking the idols of others, we ought to use the cleaver in our hand to strike our own carnal self, which is our greatest enemy and the greatest idol, and thus comfort the hearts of those observing us with worry and concern.

Today events are being evaluated only in respect to their appearances; there is constant fear, worry, anxiety, and a chilling uncertainty about everything that happens. Intentions are extremely dark, words and behaviors are deceiving, deeds are guided by ambitions, and our globe’s extremely sensitive balance is entrusted to a few adventurers with makeshift attitudes. It is uncertain to discern who is busy with what or what they will do. Desires are one thing, words and promises another. People compete in deception.  Excuses are made for killing and destroying, even if no one believes them; the oppressed and the victims have no idea what is going on. The dead are called martyrs, the survivors veterans. Actually, there is no need for faith to be consoled by these. Those without such support are comforted with awards and medals.

Hearts from all sides are scratched as if with reed pens, writing embarrassing notes on one of history’s dirtiest pages, the ink blood red. There is dust and smoke everywhere, and blood, pus, and tears in every district. Bodies are shields to souls; souls are trembling with the excitement of life and the anxiety of death. Those destroyed are on the hunt like sharks that have gotten the smell of blood; they attack everything they see and show their teeth to everyone. The oppressed victims are in a constant state of confusion and are tired from vain efforts. Everywhere there is the howling of wolves and the sounds of hyenas; in response to these sounds there are whimpers of helplessness from vulnerable bosoms. Forget about enjoying the world to its fullest; the masses are constantly on edge with the painful news that comes and strikes spirits from all sides. The general atmosphere is pitch-black, like the faces of today’s people; events are always foggy and smoky, just like their thoughts. Neither can they make the best of life nor can they sense it fully. There is a constant ebb and flow between aspirations and longings, and people die and are reborn every moment through pain and suffering.

From time to time they complain about their situations, but it does not accomplish anything except doubling misfortune. Their perspective is deviant, thoughts are in constant shift, and they live in such deep heedlessness that they will not wake up, even with the sound of the Trumpet that will make the dead rise.

In contrast, there is no small number of those whose eyes are open to metaphysical realms, whose thoughts are in front of them like candles, and who petition God with cries from their hearts. These people—whose faith is sound, whose hopes are solid, who are accountable for their deeds, and whose accounts are full—read existence not just by looking at the superficial appearance of events and trying to squeeze everything into it, but also by seeing themselves correctly in existence and interpreting themselves correctly with all material-spiritual depth and by making universal observations. They sense beautiful things behind things that appear to be ugly; they feel otherworldly pleasures that make pain incumbent and constantly sip heavenly water from bowls of disaster.

Actually, there are some beautiful hidden aspects of every divine creation that appear unpleasant on the surface. Yes, sometimes there are divine works and activities whose beauties are hidden to our eyes, but their inner facets are so exquisite that those who can see and sense this beauty do not complain, but show their amazement by saying, “It could not have been better.”

Yes, winter nurtures spring in its bosom. The wind blows over wide terrains to fulfill its duty to fertilize crops. Brand new spectacular scenery forms with different changes, and the events that appear savage to many are so beautiful from the perspective of the ecosystem that it is impossible for those who feel and sense them not to be amazed by them. Almost all of these things are perfect, appropriate, and extremely beautiful, but it is difficult to explain them to those who want everything to occur according to their own wishes and desires.

Those who sense and understand that everything in the heavens and on earth occurs according to a knowledge-based program tied to the divine will of the Creator see and evaluate all things differently. On their horizon, sceneries have hues of rising, disasters have the color of happiness, pain contains a sense of success, and unavoidable oppression and suffering are vehicles for future happiness. They look more at the smiling faces of events than at their sour faces; they do not only deal with the painful side of things, but also try to see their sweet sides.

Consequently, in their illuminated minds, the dust turns into gold; poison becomes sugar and sherbet; storms and hurricanes become enveloped in the color of mercy; pain transforms into the paths of deeds; and each suffering turns into a birth pang. In fact, general deaths and widespread catastrophes are like messages of spring in their eyes. They look at these as a process of pruning dry branches from trees and opening the way for fresh shoots, and they respectfully welcome destiny’s way of pruning. Moreover, they consider things that happen as correction for their wrongdoings. They accept fate and see it as redemption for their sins, and consider it as a season for calling for new favors from God and as a vehicle for His attention. They are always humble before God, but they always know how to stand tall when they are confronted with difficulties and disasters. At any rate, they have the awareness that they were not dragged here by just any wind. They do everything their positions require them to do, and they stand fast enough not to be blown about by the most violent storms. They have such a stance that, with God’s protection, events tantamount to wars or even as alarming as the doomsday cannot budge them from their places.

Evil takes on the colors of good in the atmosphere of such people. For them, pain and suffering are purifying tools to attain their true nature. When the weather grows dark and the environment becomes unlivable, their tension increases and makes them more alert. The oppression of tyrants, the constant impositions of despots, facing one conspiracy after another with no solutions within the domain of causality, only lead them to turn more sincerely to the One Who is the helper of the helpless. They say to themselves: “When you are helpless/ the veil suddenly opens/ solving all problems” (I. Hakki). They read everything better, evaluate it better, and win many victories even during a streak of apparent losses.

For years we always tried to remain true to this understanding. Opposing dissent and disorder became our motto. For the sake of the society’s well-being, we strove to get rid of evil with goodness without saying anything about attacks and assaults. We did not utter a word in response to those who oppressed us and set up unimaginable conspiracies. We did not wish the destruction of those fixated on slander and lying.

We did not reconcile running after the world’s pleasures with sincerely being on God’s path, and instead exalting the truth tied to His approval became our mandate. We have always given priority to others; living for others has always come first before our own aspirations. Other than befriending believing hearts beating with love, we never felt or tasted worldly pleasures or delights. Just as we had no large or small worldly demands, we were extremely careful to keep a distance from everything worldly, including politics, because of their worldly aspects. With the consideration that pleasure blurs God’s pleasure and would harm our servanthood to our Lord, we counted position and fame as defiling to our spiritual life and always kept our distance from these kinds of desires and expectations.

Yes, we behaved like this from the beginning. Yet, some circles who have abused their authority to make people feel indebted to them, and wanted to use this indebtedness as a bargaining chip. In addition, they put a claim on every beautiful thing, and although they made no positive service, these sick usurpers wanted to appear at the head of every positive work. Actually, even if the conscience of the people said “yes,” they opposed some meritorious activities and they did not hesitate to resort to slander, malicious imputation, and falsehood. Maybe the number of those behaving like this was small, but the circumstances of what was done and its extent was quite chilling and extremely injurious to people who lived with honor. However, for a believer who dedicated himself to the people, these were things that absolutely had to be endured. In this respect, in my opinion, heroes of the heart should laugh at this kind of inconsideration—as they did in the past and probably will in the future. They should stand tall and say,

Things coming from You are pleasing
Either a robe of honor or a shroud
Either a fresh rose or thorn
Both Your blessing and Your anger are pleasing. (I. Hakki)

Our society and the human dignity are what matters to us. If the people are in a desperate situation and the masses are moaning from poverty, if the society is defeated by dissension and corruption is applauded, then what falls as our share is to helplessly sit down and burst into tears. Yes, a sincere soul who has dedicated himself or herself to the people is truly troubled not when he or she is personally persecuted or harassed, but when his or her faith, faithful affairs, and other values that they hold sacred are harmed. With the manner of a fireman, they will seek solutions in all directions, like lover who do not see anything else, they will give up on all their personal aspirations, but they absolutely will not allow the values they hold sacred to be harmed.

The path they trod is the path of the oppressed and injured. They have faced trials all their lives and do not enjoy anything in the name of worldly pleasure. They have been exiled, abandoned to rot in prison, and constantly squeezed by different pressures. They have been treated like a bandit, an outlaw. For all that, they do not bother at all. Not only do they not bother themselves, but they consider even sparing some thought for these is a wasteful thinking, which should have been used instead to find solutions to the problems of people.

They suffer from oppression and injustice, but they are not concerned at all with the oppressor nor do they dwell on those perpetrating injustice. They refer everything to the All-Knowing and move on, seeking only God’s approval. One calamity follows another, and disasters pour down on their heads. However, they attribute all of these to their faults and deficiencies in their relationship with God. They think that these trials they are subjected to are penitence for their sins. With the hope that they will be cleansed at least partially from their mistakes, they are pleased even while suffering pain. Moreover, with the thought that some of the things that are happening can have surprise endings, they perceive all the frames of suffering they are in and the trouble and chain of unforeseen dangers resulting from all of these as if they were the steep paths on the road to heaven. Even in horrible situations when others sigh and moan, their voices constantly resound with gratitude and they question themselves:

O helpless one, give up wailing and trust God,
for this wailing is an error that causes trouble after trouble;
If you have found the One Who tests you with suffering,
this suffering changes into a gift bringing peace and happiness.
…
When you have so great a responsibility
(as to be able to be an approved servant of God and gain eternal life),
why are you wailing over an insignificant misfortune?
Come, put your trust in God and smile at the face of misfortune
so that it may also smile, for as it smiles, it lessens and changes.
(from the Sixth Letter, by Bediuzzaman)

Whereas oppressors who darken their lives with feelings of enmity, hatred, hostility, and revenge, continue to do so, sincere souls act like themselves; they try to ward off rancor with mildness. They make even the most merciless attacks ineffective with their smiles. They always display humane attitudes without becoming daunted or weary. Should they come face to face with misfortunes despite their efforts to avoid, they accept them as their share of the destiny’s justice as much as allowed by Divine mercy. They immediately gather themselves together, try to see their mistakes, and, make plans for an orderly life to attain a positive result and the pleasure of God.

Coming to those who have not discovered the real reasons for the things that happened, they sporadically look for the guilty in their surroundings, and from time to time they throw rocks at fate. They harm their relationship with God, as if they have at all, and constantly make mistakes. Thus they send invitations to different kinds of oppression with each new mistake.

Just as all these matters are true for individuals, they are in the same way true for all societies. Today, oppression follows oppression; the strong trample on the weak; those with power in their hands mercilessly attack those who do not. During this kind of assault, many innocent people are victimized. Many people die or become captives, and all these events take place in a way that makes hearts bleed in regard to their outer appearance. However, the matter is not like this at all when looked at from the perspective of fate. Yes, we do feel hurt at times, but justice manifests itself destiny unfolds over time. Yesterday’s oppressors are being punished today, and the oppressed and their loved ones are cooled and consoled by their belief in eternal happiness.

Yes, to date those oppressors have smashed everyone that came in their path and acted ruthlessly towards the innocent who disagree with them. They do not think that one day what they have done will no more be tolerated by God. Those who have been trod upon and put down by others were trying to soothe the pounding of their hearts because they could not do anything about the situation, only by referring it to God.

Years have passed like this as in the month of Muharram. Tears have flowed like the Ravan River, and eventually they rose to a point where God does not give any more respite for the oppressors nor for those who applauded them and took delight in what they did, and those who remained silent before injustice. “Those who flourish with oppression will end up in misery,” and history is full of hundreds of examples of this. Moreover, there is a day when everything, from needles to thread, will have to be accounted for. Alas for the oppressors on that day!

Now let us once again move on by referring everything to its Owner:

“If a tyrant has his tyranny, the victim has his God on his side,
It is easy to tyrannize people today; but tomorrow there will be God’s Council.”

Since its beginning, this world has been half in light and half in darkness. Those living in darkness today will walk in light in the near future, if they use well the dynamics entrusted to their wills. Those who sinfully polluted their time in the world will fall into darkness. Just as God punishes yesterday’s oppressors today, today’s tyrants will certainly get their just desserts soon.

Now what befalls us is to plead at night like birds at dawn and to push open the doors of heaven with sighs and groans. Who knows? Maybe problems that cannot be solved with arms one day will unexpectedly be resolved with tears and pleading to God. Otherwise, if we do not immediately turn to ourselves and activate our own values and dynamics, it is inevitable that we will continue for a long time to writhe in our deprivation. Yes, the lethargic ones and those giving themselves to comfort today are condemned to be the contemptible ones of tomorrow. Those who pass their lives without feelings and action will be helpless and confused when the trumpets of death begin to blow around them. They will be helpless, but what good will it do for those who lose opportunities in spring and summer to sigh and moan and feel remorse in winter? People should evaluate today so as not to say “if only” in the future, and they should try not to darken their tomorrows.