As I wheeled Chris off the elevator, he was quieter than the day before, definitely not in the mood for pranks. He didn’t complain—my husband never complained—yet he clearly wasn’t feeling as well.

Two steps forward, one step back: that still qualified as progress.

Rolling through the hospital hallways, following signs for Radiology, we passed several women wearing nasal cannulas and pulling oxygen-cylinder carts. The sight wasn’t remarkable in that the National Institutes of Health runs clinical trials on virtually every ailment—from the common to the rare, the treatable to the terminal. What was surprising was seeing a cohort of patients similarly afflicted, all female and relatively young.

At least they were ambulatory. When Chris’s doctor ordered a scan this morning, his nurse ordered a wheelchair.

During his first few days after readmission, Chris’s condition fell somewhere between depleted and God-awful depending on the degree of his sawtoothing fever. As his treatments—withdrawal of anti-rejection meds included—began to take effect, however, I’d sometimes arrive to find him sitting up in bed, looking comfortable and alert, like a patient soon to be released.

Towards the end of the week, his humor kicked in. After opening a colleague’s get-well card to find a droll reference to their firm’s new management—a buyout of the Rouse Company was but two weeks away—Chris reached for the bedside phone. When a recording advised him to leave a message, he deepened his voice and pretended to be the CEO. “This is John B—,” he said gruffly. “It’s come to my attention that you have a poor attitude about the merger.”

To me, the spoof was proof of recovery. To his friend, who didn’t recognize Chris in disguise, it was cause to call the head of security: Someone was impersonating the chief executive.

Come Friday, Chris remained frail despite signs of improvement. His nurse took me up on my offer to drive him to his appointment.

In the Radiology waiting room, we found two more women on oxygen therapy. After positioning Chris at the end of a row of seats, I took the one beside him. If silence had been a preference en route, now it was a prescription. No one spoke or made eye contact. No one leafed through magazines, for there were none. No one asked the time or glanced at their watch. It was as if chronic illness had instilled a monkish composure. Or torpor.

I was the only non-patient in the room, the Lucky One. As the others sat alone with their thoughts, I wondered what those might be. That three back-to-back tests followed? That with sick leave exhausted, the boss had to be told? That scrambled eggs might stay down? That last time the shadow had shrunk, so this time, well, don’t get too hopeful?

Or were they trying to avoid thinking, instead imagining doing something—anything—more agreeable? Strolling through the hill town of Assisi. Watching a Coen brothers film. Defending an IRS audit.

One of the women on oxygen finally had enough. Silence wasn’t a chance to grab a shot of mindfulness; silence was a looming endgame. By talking, she could ward off quietus. But she needed a partner.

“What brings you here?” she asked me, in a tone so warm and genuine that she might have been a greeter in a small-town visitors bureau.

She looked about forty, or a little older, but it was hard to tell; illness can age a person faster than a Broadway makeup artist. Although her appearance was middling in every respect—from her height and build to her facial features and shade of brown hair—her spirit was striking. Whether the vivacity was innate or cultivated for survival, she offered me what she desperately needed: a deep breath of fresh air.

“My husband needs an X-ray.” I glanced at Chris. He showed no sign of wanting to engage. Under the circumstances, it felt unfriendly, even hurtful, to not offer more. “He had a kidney transplant a few months ago,” I added. “Now he has mono.”

Immediately, another patient stood and left. Perhaps she went to the restroom, or realized she’d left her purse in the car. More likely, mononucleosis spooked her—even though it’s not an airborne infection.

I paused, realizing that my interlocutor might want to leave, too. She didn’t budge. “How about you?” I asked. In deference to patient privacy, I avoided the politeness of trading names.

“I need a double-lung transplant. There’s a group of us here who have the same disease. We get together every year.” She chuckled. “It’s like a reunion!”

Lymphangioleiomyomatosis, or LAM, is a rare condition that primarily affects women ages twenty to forty. Abnormal cells invade the lungs, as well as lymph nodes and kidneys, leading to reduced pulmonary function and respiratory failure. Treatments, including transplantation, can enhance the quality and duration of life but the disease is incurable. After diagnosis, life expectancy is usually ten to twenty years.[1]

Her disclosure was stunning. Not long ago, I wouldn’t have grasped the challenges she faced, merely to delay the inevitable. No longer.

One day she would lie in an OR, as we recently had. But unlike Chris, whose kidneys were allowed to fail in place, with one of mine nested beneath them, she would have both lungs removed to accommodate her grafts. No matter how damaged and inadequate, those lungs were infusing her blood with oxygen, ridding it of carbon dioxide, maintaining life. Temporarily, she might require a heart-lung machine and a ventilator; ultimately, she’d either breathe though the new air sacs or wouldn’t . . . breathe. If her grafts failed, there was no recourse like dialysis to sustain her.

In short, she would perform a death-defying, net-free launch from a trapeze with no turning back once she let go of the fly bar. Her odds of surviving even five years after transplantation were not much better than one in two.[2]

And that was if she got lucky. With the chronic shortage of deceased-donor organs, lungs might not become available in time. Although living donation was possible, she’d need two Good Samaritans, each providing the lower lobe of a lung.^⁠ They’d face a riskier surgery and longer recovery than kidney donors, which meant friends and relatives were less likely to volunteer.

A radiology assistant called Chris’s name. Together, they disappeared through a door leading to the imaging machines. Moments later, the woman was called, as well.

She’d shared no details about her personal life. She’d only spoken of her illness, which, understandably, had come to define her—from what lung-healthy products she could buy to how she should dress, walk, or perform daily chores, such as unpacking groceries, to minimize exertion. If she seemed compelled to tell me she had LAM, it was not because she sought sympathy; she struck me as someone devoid of self-pity. What she wanted was to be heard. To be heard is to be remembered.

In no time, Chris was back and we were retracing our route through the cold fluorescence of the corridors. As we entered an empty elevator, he said, “You shouldn’t have mentioned I have mono.”

“Why?”

“You saw the woman leave.”

“But she had a right to know. I’d want to know.”

I hadn’t meant to embarrass him. For that I was sorry. But I was as disappointed in him as he was in me. Chris was still “chesting” his health cards, as if this were a hand of bridge, with nothing but his pride at stake.

No doubt a gender difference was at work, a primal XY-chromosome trait, which he’d exhibited many times before: Never show weakness lest a contender seize the advantage—be that your mate, your kill, or your year-end bonus. According to such logic, illness fell between failing and fatal flaw.

A strategy suitable for the savanna or a boardroom, however, is counterproductive in a medical setting where any debility you don’t reveal is one that isn’t treated. The woman I’d just met understood the importance of communication, on every front, regarding her health. I was sorry that my husband didn’t.

And hadn’t.

At the same time, I was grateful. As we made our way back to his room, my mind unspooled a skein of “at leasts.” At least he isn’t suffocating to death. At least he can fall back on dialysis. At least he isn’t alone while undergoing treatment. At least his graft shows no sign of rejection. At least I haven’t had to kiss him goodbye outside an OR and wonder if he would return. At least both of us were able to presume we would return.

Counting blessings was my luxury, not Chris’s. Sick as hell, he was entitled to feel however he felt, unthankful included, with no obligation to parse his advantages relative to others.

Later that night, Chris’s doctor called me at home. He’d had Chris moved to intensive care. He spoke so calmly and matter-of-factly that I didn’t panic. In fact, the thought never occurred to me that every “at least” would soon count for nothing.

[1] National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute, “Health Topics: LAM,” http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/health-topics/topics/lam (accessed February 1, 2019).

[2] Organ Procurement and Transplantation Network, “National Data: Lung Kaplan-Meier Patient Survival Rates For Transplants Performed, 2008 – 2015; Survival by Single vs. Double Lung (Lung Only),” https://optn.transplant.hrsa.gov/data/view-data-reports/national-data/# (accessed February 2, 2019).

Perhaps, without even knowing it, you have been waiting your entire life for this journey, the journey to the Ka’ba, the original and oldest house of monotheism, built thousands of years ago by the Prophet Abraham and his son, Ishmael. Before you were awake to it, your soul was yearning to walk where the Prophets walked, to retrace the footsteps of Hagar, left alone in the desert with her young boy, Ishmael-left alone and looking for water. Through the grace of God, you secure your funds for the journey, yet you do not know with whom you will go or even exactly the specific rites of Hajj. Still you make your intention, and the time draws closer. You take a class on Hajj, you read a couple of books, you shop for essentials, but the nearer the time comes, the more your world seems to spin out of control. Your bank account is depleted, your workload increases beyond your capacity, two weeks from the departure date you break out in hives, and you find out you need to have a tooth pulled. You get a cold. A few days before you are set to leave, your childcare arrangements fall apart, even your husband leaves for another trip, and there is not a soul to see you off on the morning of your journey.

Still you go. You turn off your computer, you step out the front door, and you-your mind, your heart, your soul-leave it all behind and go somewhere else. Before starting the Hajj ritual, your group first travels to Medina and visits Al-Masjid al-Nabawi, the Mosque of the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him. You forget everything from home in that place of tranquility. Your mind and heart are united in their focus on the journey. And it will begin in a few days. Along the way, you will stop at a miqat, a geographical boundary which before passing you must enter into a state of ihram by making your formal intention and donning your pilgrim garb. Your first visit is to the holy Ka’ba where you perform Umrah (Please see the table). Then, you travel on to the largest temporary city in the world, a place called Mina, a rocky, dusty outland where the Hajj rituals commence in earnest.

With much anticipation, you arrive at the camps of Mina, and as you realize your living situation for the next several days, you wonder how you will cope. The wall of one tent is the wall of the next, and so it continues, tent after tent, row after row, mile after mile. In one tent, forty-four sisters from various continents, lying head-to-head toe-to-toe, crowded restrooms, food prepared and packaged just like airline food, only not as good, but more plentiful, water from plastic canteens. But then you remind yourself that Mina is a camp, and you are camping, and for camping this is pretty good.

And so you settle in. You realize that the opportunities of the camp are greater than they might first appear. You and your tent mates soon find the few containers in camp with fresh, cool, Zamzam water and work to keep each other’s water bottles full of it. You get lost in the camp looking for a better shower, before admitting that this is it. You learn when the bathrooms are least crowded, and you discover an identical row of bathrooms in the back, a mirror image of the front.

You rest one day in Mina. You awake from your sleep at 2 am; the tent is alive with activity; all the lights are turned on. You think that everyone must be excited, for today is the day of Arafat, and Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, in a well-known hadith, stated that “Arafat is Hajj” (al-Tirmidhi, Tafsiru’l Qur’an, 2). Arafat is the day when all prayers are accepted, all sins are forgiven, and at the end you become as sinless as a newborn; here you become “Hajji.” Still you are not ready to get out of bed. You lie there resting and reflecting on this blessed day. For several days now, you have been reciting Labbayk, chanting “Here I am Allah at your service, here I am.” You have answered His Call; you have come to perform your duty and nothing else. He welcomes you as His guest and during your stay here, you will be treated in an extra special way, and just as a guest receives the best china, the best morsels of food, you will be offered a taste of the spiritual delights of the Hajj. And so you stay in your bed with your eye mask protecting you from the bright lights, and you let the spiritual atmosphere wash over and through you. Somehow the back of your mattress sandwiched between two others and wedged up against the back of the tent becomes a space for you to fall back into, a cave to another dimension where the sounds of the tent diminish and the sounds of the unseen world increase. And in this very early morning of the day of Arafat, you somehow sense that the whole universe, seen and unseen, is united in glorifying the oneness of God.

The day of Arafat causes you to reflect on the Day of Judgment when all humanity will stand before their Creator. The sea of white garments and bareheaded pilgrims standing in the hot sun where the rich is indistinguishable from the poor reminds you that we will all be judged by our deeds in this life according to divine principles. In this heat – which you sense will seem like a cool breeze compared to the heat of the Day of Judgment – you realize how badly you want to be included among those who will be shaded from the near sun of that day. As sunset nears, you wait and wait as your ear searches for the adhan, the call to prayer. But there is no adhan, there is only an increase in the refinement of the air. No adhan is recited in Arafat for your next duty as a hajji is to leave immediately at sunset and travel to Muzdalifah where you will combine your sunset and evening prayers in accordance with the sunnah or practices of the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him.

Finally, you reach Muzdalifah, a valley of dust situated near mountains of barren rock. Here you will spend the night out in the open. With the dust swirling all around, your group leader pulls out a tarp, and the mother of the group smiles while looking up to the sky and says “Five-star hotel.” We find comfort in the reminder that the reward for a successful Hajj is paradise, and that it is only obligatory to do it once. Later, we will all share how we cannot wait to come back again, but for now this knowledge fortifies us. With giant, glaring flood lights masking our true canopy-the hidden night sky, we settle in for the night having shared our face masks, our dates, and our last wipes.

The next day, we return to Mina with renewed appreciation, now recognizing its rightful glory, we are thankful for the showers we once disdained, blissful in our beds, now we truly settle into Mina. But we have also come prepared for the battle of the next four days. With our seventy stones collected at Muzdalifah, we will endeavor to remove the crusts from our hearts by stoning the jamarat.

The sunnah is to spend Eid (holiday) at Mina plus three more days. Eid at Hajj is not like Eid at home. Eid at Hajj is hard work; our duties that day are to offer our sacrificial animal to the poor, stone the jamarat, come out of ihram by cutting our hair (women) or shaving our heads (men), and if possible, travel to Mecca to perform tawaf ifadah-seven times circumambulation of the Ka’ba followed by walking seven times between the hills of Marwa and Safa.

The first task is taken care of for us by the Hajj authorities. We paid for our animal previously, and turned the task over to the slaughterhouse. We are not even required to visit, but it is possible if you wish. None of us wished to do so. We rest in the morning weary from the previous night. We wait until after the late afternoon prayer (Asr) when it is cooler and the crowds have thinned (“thinned” being a relative term when there are five million or more people performing rites at pretty much the same time), and set out for the long walk to the jamarat. Before leaving for Hajj, we were told to prepare ourselves for an hour-long walk from our camp to the jamarat. “No big deal” you naively thought as you pictured your often-enjoyed cool walks surrounded by trees around the lake in your neighborhood, time spent in reflection and enjoying the solace of nature. But this walk turns out to be something else all together, crowded streets filled with people, a makeshift bazaar lining the edges of the camp roads, piles of trash, and once you hit the main road, you are competing for road space with buses, as you try to find a gasp of fresh air in the dusty, diesel-fumed air with the hot sun relentless in its brightness.

What is this ritual of stoning the jamarat? We are told in our hajj training that the jamarat does not represent idols, it is not the devil as many believe; we are not stoning the devil. We are told that for each stone, we are forgiven a major sin, and reminded that in Islam lying and gossiping are major sins. So, what is this ritual then? Perhaps the jamarat represents our own hard hearts and with each rock thrown, we are chipping away at its crust endeavoring to restore it to its newborn softness. Perhaps, the enemy is within ourselves – our carnal self, the nafs. With each rock thrown, you hope to gain a bit more mastery over your nafs and you recall the prayer of Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him; “O God, cleanse me of sin as a white garment is cleansed from filth. O God, wash away my sins with snow and water and hail.” Indeed, the many rocks hitting the jamarat make the same sound as a hailstorm. In this context, the long difficult walk to and from becomes part of the cleansing, part of the blessings of this ritual. You learn the importance of striving in reaching nearer to God, the All-Glorified.

It is your last day to stone the jamarat. You no longer have the energy to compete with the buses, so you decide to take your chances with the pedestrian route – which means you must pass through tunnels. Tens of thousands throng through the streets, from all over the world, and all on the same mission. We reach the tunnel; we fill the tunnel; we walk; and then suddenly we stop. You do not know the reason for this stopping, you cannot see past the masses of people in front of you. You pray for sakina (peaceful calmness) for all your fellow travelers. We wait, we start to move again, we stop, we move again. It happens three times; all of the thousands remain calm. With the Grace of God, we make it through the tunnel and continue on to our mission.

One day, you venture out of the camp into the streets of Mina sprawling with vendors who have come to sell their wares to the hajjis-jilbabs, scarves, dhikr beads, toys, fruit, and henna. Suddenly, a truck pulls up, opens its back and the driver starts distributing its contents. The shouts of free food go out and people seem to lose themselves a bit in the rush to get whatever is being given away. You realize that they are giving away yogurt, and after a few days on antibiotics, it is just what your body is craving, yet you do not want to push in for a gift. So you wait and you watch when suddenly, the driver reaches down and pulls out not one, but two containers of yogurt. He shouts your name, “Hajji,” extends his arm over the crowd and hands you your body’s desire.

An apple purchased from a street vendor is infused with the scent and flavor of roses. You realize that despite the multitudes of people, the heat, and the dust, the camp does not smell. In gratitude, you start to comprehend the sacredness of this place, this time, this space. Mina is a place you must see with your heart, and not let your eyes blind you to its true beauty.

We were warned to pack lightly for Mina and told that we would not be allowed to board the bus if our guide deemed our luggage too big. This was good and as it should be. Upon arriving at the tent, we all quickly realize there is no room for luggage, but having packed light, we are not quite prepared for the hardship of the camp and our changing personal needs as our cycles shift with the close proximity to so many sisters, and as we pass illness from sister-to-sister in the close sleeping quarters. The conditions force us to rely on each other. Here, as we share our last Advil, our last cough drop, our last wipe, as we share our shampoo, hangers, clothes, and soap, we are tested daily and sometimes hourly. Here in Mina, we find the true meaning of sisterhood where you can live the Prophet’s saying, “None of you have faith until you love for your neighbor what you love for yourself.”

We pass our days, sleeping, eating, and praying, spending our energy on the basic chores of living, punctuated each day with a late afternoon trip to stone the jamarat. One morning a sister approaches and asks to read the Qur’an together. A circle of us passes the book around each taking a passage, from a young girl to her mother, and sister-to-sister. We find our hearts soft, our eyes overflowing and the angels pressing in – here in Mina – a camp where first we were anxious about staying and now find ourselves not wanting to leave.

Margaret A. Johnson, PhD, is a sociologist, writer, and business owner residing in Germantown, MD.

Eid Eve

Enter state of ihram and move to Arafat

Pray noon and afternoon prayers together

Stay in Arafat until sunset and move to Muzdalifah

Pray evening and night prayers together

Collect pebbles for jamarat, stoning of the pillars

1st day of Eid

Move to Mina after morning prayer

Throw seven pebbles to Aqaba pillar

Animals are sacrificed

Shave and now you can leave the state of ihram

Make your tawaf and sa’ee

2nd and 3rd Days

Following the noon prayer, go to Mina to the jamarat and throw seven pebbles to all the three pillars. This can be repeated voluntarily on the fourth day too.

Brief Overview of the Main Steps of the Hajj Journey1

Hajj starts on the 8th Day of the lunar month of Dhu al-Hijjah.

Before Hajj: Perform Umrah:

1. Ihram-Cleanse oneself, don the hajj garments, and make intention.

2. Umrah-Perform Tawaf: circumambulate around the Ka’ba seven times, perform two Ra’kah prayers of prostration behind the Station of Prophet Abraham, and make Sa’ee: go back and forth between the hills of Safa and Marwah seven times (legs not laps).

Day 1 – Mina: Get back into state of Ihram and arrive in Mina around noon time.

Day 2 – Arafat (Eid eve): Leave Mina after sunrise prayer for Arafat and stay there until Sunset. After sunset in Arafat leave immediately for Muzdalifah, spend the night there.

Day 3 (first day of Eid): After sunrise prayer, proceed to Mina. Go to the stoning pillars (3 rock columns, small, medium, and large) after the noon prayer and throw seven pebbles at the large pillar, slaughter your sacrifice, come out of Ihram by cutting or shaving the hair.

Day 3 or after: Go to Mecca and perform Tawaf. After Tawaf, make Sa’ee.

Day 3-Day 6: Return to Mina and spend the 11th and 12th nights of Dhu al-Hijjah in Mina. On days 4, 5, and 6, you will return to the stoning pillars after the noontime prayer, and throw seven pebbles at each of the three pillars.

You may leave Mina on the fifth day after the stoning ritual.

After day 5 and before you leave Mecca: Perform a farewell Tawaf, and two Ra’kah prayer. This should be the last thing you do in Mecca.

1 These steps are for “Hajj-Tamattu” which is the type of Hajj which combines Umrah with Hajj. It is the most frequently performed Hajj today, and it was recommended by the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him. This is just a brief overview; it does not include all the details.

According to a study by researchers of the Human Footprint Project [1], humans have influenced 83% of the earth’s surface. The study is based on four factors: population, travel routes, land use, and lights. One of the findings of the study shows that an average American is responsible for more carbon emissions in one year, than a person in Tanzania in a lifetime. This significant difference is certainly related to the average lifespan, income, culture, and climate. However, do any of us have the rights to disturb the environment more than others? Are we consuming something that doesn’t belong to us, and leaving an unsustainable environment for future generations? To answer these questions, it is imperative that we understand and acknowledge exactly what we have inherited, what we are responsible for, and what we will leave to future generations.

Our influence on the earth and environment in a general sense is not limited to the consumption of goods. One of the most influential yet less-visible traces is the footprint we leave in the digital environment. There are active or passive traces left in a digital environment by personal activity. An active trace is left when personal information is released by a person himself, whereas a passive trace (digital shadow) is left when personal data is collected during personal activity. These traces, also known as digital footprints, can spread very quickly and may reach to millions in a very short time. One can leave digital traces by simply visiting a website, sending a blog post, or posting a photo or message to a friend’s website.

Our digital traces affect the environment in many ways. Every trace takes our time to generate it and for others to read it. It consumes storage and network resources on the server that increase the costs, power usage, and eventually our carbon footprint, or the total greenhouse gas emissions. We need to seek a balance in our use of digital media in order to utilize the benefits efficiently and to minimize our consumption of time and other resources.

Have you ever wondered “how often a person leaves digital traces behind every day?” or “how much of our privacy are we sharing with others?” A recent study reveals some figures about the size of the digital universe as 281 billion gigabytes (GB) for 2008 and 1.8 billion terabytes for 2011 [2]. The digital trace generated by the average person on a daily basis was about 45 GB in 2008. This includes private information such as emails, photos, VOIP calls, and instant messages.

How about passive digital traces we leave behind by credit card purchases, bank accounts, phone records, web searches, general backup data, medical and hospital records, surveillance cameras, and so on? There are more passive traces collected than our active digital traces, which provide more personal information.

As of 2006, there were over 1 billion Visa credit cards worldwide and counting [3]. Credit cards give a lot of private information about a person: stores we prefer, movies we watch, places we travel, books we read, prescriptions we take, rent and utility fees we pay; mainly our lifestyle is hidden in our credit card statements. It might contain a lot of details we want to keep private. We can easily learn a lot about our social life just by analyzing one of our credit card statements.

Web searches provide more insightful information about a person. 113 billion web searches were conducted in July 2009, a 41 percent increase compared to 2008 [4]. Besides all the information we leave with our credit card, web searches may show things we have not actually done. They contain information about our future plans, such as travel, job search, health related issues, meetings, and education. Websites can provide smarter search results and personalized advertisements according to our search habits. Search engines even know how fast we type or process information, our typos, languages we speak, how smart we search, and even our physical location from the IP address.

Today many cars have GPS (Global Positioning System) capabilities and smart phones have GPS sensors. GPS devices can show our exact location anywhere in the world, provide turn-by-turn instructions from one location to another, provide a list of nearby stores, and warn us about traffic problems. A recent market research [5] estimates that the mobile location technology market that crosses the US will be $75 billion by 2013 with growing usage of GPS capabilities in automobiles and consumer electronics. Beside all the benefits, GPS devices leave an important digital trace behind, our exact location, which can be stored for later use or tracked by third parties.

Even if a person doesn’t have a GPS sensor with him, there are cameras all around the city that can help capture one’s location. We can see cameras inside and outside of the banks, stores, traffic lights, and even closed-circuit TV (CCTV) surveillance cameras in some cities. The total number of CCTV cameras in England is 4.2 million, or one for every 14 people according to an estimate. According to Scotland Yard, one crime per 1,000 CCTV cameras is solved in a year [6].

The number of smart phones increased 13.9 percent worldwide, compared to 2007, and reached 139 million in 2008 [7]. Many smart phones have real-time video streaming capabilities and are widely used. Users upload hundreds of thousands of videos per day to YouTube about themselves or people around them. Considering that there are thousands of video sharing websites like YouTube, sharing videos on these websites lies at the center of important privacy concerns. There are websites to share videos, photos, music, location, blog posts, and personal updates. With the rise of the micro-blogging trend, we can see real-time updates about a person on websites like Twitter. This allows us to track every minute of a person’s life.

Social networking is a new way of communication. Many websites provide tools to build online communities of people, who want to share and learn interests and activities of others. We can build our friend list and share photos, videos, and updates about our life. According to Nielsen Online’s report on Internet usage in June 2009 [8], users spent an average of 4 hours and 39 minutes during June on one of the most famous social networking sites, Facebook, which has 87 million visitors. Normally these websites provide privacy settings to limit who can access our friend list, photos, or other information. Since most of the people don’t refuse friend requests, it is very easy to be added as a friend and get access to all the private information of people we do not even know. Once we get accepted by a person as a friend, it gets easier to be accepted as friend by his/her friends, since we have mutual friends. These connections increase our friend list exponentially.

I had known about this process for some time, so I wanted to confirm it myself by setting up an account with fake information and identity on Facebook in 2008. I selected a college and input random personal information to my profile. I visited some group pages on Facebook and joined them. Then Facebook started to offer possible friend lists that have common interests with me. I started to make random friend requests to many users on these lists. In one day, I had around a hundred friends in my list that I don’t know personally. As a friend on their list, I have access to all information they share with others. Most of the users are using default settings and are not aware of privacy issues. Even if we are careful about all these settings and our privacy, our information is accessible by website managers. Digital traces left by users are valuable commercial assets for companies, and most of them share or sell this information to third party companies which provide online advertisements, products, and services.

There is a positive side of these digital traces. Websites provide better recommendation of products and services, targeted advertisements, smarter search results, and personal news. Entertainment businesses can provide appropriate suggestions by using location services. However, erasing our digital traces is difficult or even impossible in some cases. To protect our privacy and identity, it is essential that we are aware of places our personal information is stored. It is the responsibility of websites to protect user’s data. However, it will be a good start to be aware as users of our traces on the digital universe and to share personal information carefully.

With various effects on our natural and social environment, digital traces are one of the most influential and yet less known by-products of consumption. It is an important responsibility for us to decide how we affect our environment, how we spend our time, and what we are going to leave to future generations. With all the unique values given to humans, we need to learn to make meaningful contributions and carry more responsibility for our actions, especially in the digital world where boundaries are unlimited.

Acknowledgment: This article is produced either in part or a whole at MERGEOUS [9], an online article and project development service for authors and publishers dedicated to the advancement of technologies in the merging realm of science and religion.

Halil I. Demir is an internet entrepreneur and freelance writer.

References

1. Wildlife Conservation Society [http://www.wcs.org/humanfootprint]
2. EMC Report, “The Diverse and Exploding Digital Universe,” 2008.
3. Visa USA Internal Statistics, Q4 2006.
4. ComScore Press Release, August 31, 2009.
5. RNCOS Market Research Report, “World GPS Market Forecast to 2013,” April 2009.
6. Telegraph, 24 Aug 2009.
7. Gartner Press Release, Worldwide Smartphone Sales, Mart 2009.
8. Nielsen Online’s Report, June 2009.
9. Mergeous [http://www.mergeous.com]

* How do we leave traces of ourselves everywhere we touch with hardly visible fingerprints?

* Methods used for fingerprint identification…

* The signature we always carry with us: Our fingerprints…

A little girl in the US was kidnapped in 1993. Finding an opportune moment to escape, the child fled to a nearby neighborhood. Based on the girl’s statement, the police arrested a suspect, who told them about the other perpetrators and the car used for the abduction.

Realizing that there was missing evidence, the defendants asked for evidence of the child’s fingerprints from the car, as she had testified that she was in the automobile for hours. Strangely enough, despite scanning the entire vehicle, the detectives only found the fingerprints of the defendants. The joy of the latter made the child and her parents afraid that they would be unable to prove her presence in the car.

Leaving the rest of the story to the end, we will now focus on the fingerprint screening process, which sheds light on the frustration of the criminal detectives who were unable to find the child’s fingerprints in the car.

Innately found in the DNA structure of each and every individual, fingerprints are actually formed in the early embryonic stage with the infinite knowledge and might of the Creator. No two fingerprints have ever been found to be identical in every detail, despite billions of comparisons. This miracle alludes to the omnipotence and omniscience of God. Fingerprints are never exactly alike, but unique for each individual, except identical twins. To achieve this requires the infinite knowledge of the One Who distinguishes the fingerprints of all the living and dead, as well as those who are to be born. The fingerprints of identical twins are identical because the same egg has been inseminated by the same sperm and has then split into two, and thus the two babies have exactly the same DNA structure.

As is well-known, fingerprint identification stands head and shoulders above all other human identification procedures as the most reliable means of identifying individuals worldwide. The Qur’an speaks of the revival of every human being in all their particularities down to their fingertips, thus drawing our attention to the uniqueness and distinctive features of the fingertips of each and every individual. Only if one perceives the Qur’an as being the Word of God can they avoid the great difficulty inherent in attempting to explain how the Qur’an is able to refer to this issue; at the time of the revelation, 14 centuries ago, this matter was not known, rather, it only became known in modern times:

Does the human think that We will never assemble his bones (to resurrect him)? Yes indeed, We are able to make complete his very fingertips. (Qiyamah 75:3-4)

Fingerprints are friction whirl formations on the skin of the fingertips that are perpendicular, circular, oval, or made up of patterns parallel to each other. To make impressions of the fingerprints, the fingertips are pressed first on an ink pad, and then on a card; the ink impressions on the card retain the shape of the whirls. The fingerprints collected from items of evidence from a crime are matched (or not) with the suspect’s fingerprints. The fingerprint database archived in this way is the most reliable way to conduct criminal record checks when needed.

But how are the impressions of the fingerprints retained on the objects that have been touched? Fingerprints are deposited by the natural secretions of the eccrine glands which are present in the skin of the fingertips. When we touch an object, natural sweat secretions are discharged from the glands at the fingertips and these secretions remain on the surface in the shape of the whirls.

Fingerprints of children

How is it, then, that the fingerprint impressions of the child in the story could not be found at the crime scene? 99% of the secretion produced from the glands is water. The remaining 1% is of fatty acids, ethers, amino acids, and salts. It has been found, in contrast to the fingerprints of adults, which include long carbon chains linked by ethers, that the fingerprints of children have mostly non-etherized, short chains of fatty acids. These short chains of fatty acids on the fingertips of children are volatile. Thus, the fingerprints of children evaporate in 24 hours, while those of adults remain for longer periods. For this reason, fingerprint detection should be done as soon as possible in crime scenes in which children are involved.

We normally cannot see the impression left by the whirls. Criminal detectives, however, use electronic, chemical, and physical processing techniques that permit the visualization of invisible or hidden latent print residue from natural secretions of the eccrine glands on the fingertips. They then take the photographs of the impression to compare with fingerprint impressions of suspects and those on the database.

Amazingly enough, something as simple as sweat-which we mistakenly think is composed of pure water-can be used to solve serious issues as needed, because our fingerprints, which are hardly visible, leave clear signs of our presence everywhere we touch. It is not difficult to understand, then, that nothing has been created to vanish for ever; just as we leave our fingerprints everywhere, at every moment we also leave our own images in different forms of action in the minds of others and they are recorded on the heavenly plates. By the way, if you think that the suspects in the child abduction case were able to get away with it, you are wrong! Though her fingerprints could not be found in the car, the relief of the suspects did not last long. A small fiber from her clothing was found in the car, thus proving them to be guilty.

The fifth branch is that of love and fear, worship and imitation of the Prophet. The addressee is first Nursi’s own soul, and secondly “his friend who loves the worldly life.” In the first statement, Nursi wants to direct the love of humans to Almighty God, who deserves the utmost love.

“Love is the universe’s raison d’tre, the bond between all things, the light and life of existence. Since we are the most comprehensive fruit of existence, a love so overflowing that it can invade the universe has been included in that fruit’s heart (its seed or core). One who deserves such an infinite love can only be one with infinite perfection”;¹ this is God.

According to Nursi, human nature has been endowed with two tools: love and fear. Both of these senses inevitably will be directed to the Creator or the created. Fear of the created or blind love of the created are both dreadful calamities according to Nursi; because people become afraid of people and created things that do not show mercy toward them. As for a love of creatures, Nursi explains that many of them do not understand love and do not acknowledge us. One may love a beautiful panorama, but the panorama does not acknowledge a person; one may love the stars of night, but the stars do not acknowledge a person. Many of these beloveds leave us without ever saying goodbye, like our youth or wealth-either they leave us, or we leave them.

According to Nursi, ninety-nine percent of lovers complain about their beloved. The reason for this is that the inner heart is a mirror of God, the Self-Sufficient Who needs no one and Whom everyone else needs. And the heart can only be satisfied with His love. After mentioning this, he makes his point as follows: “So turn your fear and love toward such a One so that your fear will be a pleasant humility and your love a happiness free of humiliation.”

For Nursi, to fear God means to take refuge in his mercy. Fear is a motivator that throws a person on God’s mercy just as a child, when threatened, takes refuge in the arms of their mother. “. . . maternal care and compassion for all living beings is only a ray from His Compassion.” If fear of God is so joyful, then how does the love of God compare? There is great joyfulness in the love of God. For Nursi, even the love of creatures is joyful since it is for His sake. “Only when you can assign that love to its rightful owner can you love, for His sake and as mirrors to Him, all things without pain or trouble. Such love must not be assigned directly to existence for the sake of existence itself. Otherwise, while being a most pleasurable Divine grace, this love will become a most painful ailment.”

According to Nursi, the human soul is prone to love itself above everyone and everything else. In fact, it should not do so; the soul does not deserve such a love, as it is not the source of the beauty of the universe. “Your intense self-love is nothing but your innate love for His ‘Essence’, which you unconsciously carry in yourself and wrongly appropriate for your self. Tear apart the ‘I’ in yourself and show the ‘He’.” Underneath your ego you will find God. “All the love you divide among other beings is nothing but the love implanted in your being for Him.”

For Nursi, the whole beauty of paradise, with all varieties of beauty, is the result of such a love from Him. “However, the universe cannot compensate for even one particular manifestation of His love. Given this, listen and obey the following eternal decree, which the Eternal, Beloved One made His beloved (Prophet Muhammad) declare: If you really love God, follow me [so] that God may love you (3:31).”

Although early Islamic mystics totally rejected love for the world, Nursi found a new way of interpreting the concept of love toward the world. He says, “The world has three faces.” The first two faces of the world are admirable and desirable. The first states that the world is a place where God’s names are reflected. The world is a place where a believer can contemplate them. The world is a fair for the exhibition of God’s names. From this perspective, the world is desirable. One has to think in order to understand God in this world.

The second state of the world, according to Nursi, can be understood by the analogy that the world is a field for the afterlife. This face is also desirable, since individuals must sow in order to reap for the afterlife. Without this world, there would be no results for actions in the afterlife. There would be no place to sow, and thus no fruit. By making such distinctions, Nursi gave a new interpretation of love toward the worldly life.

The third face of the world is the one that the Sufism avoids. This face, Nursi said, is the world as a place of entertainment for those who indulge in worldly desires. This is the face which all Sufis reject. By generalization, it is understood that all parts of the world were not desirable, and thus people generally chose to leave the world. People should not connect their hearts to this world. “It is necessary to abandon the world heartily, not physically.” People have to abandon the world from the heart, not the limbs. Individuals should not abandon their studies or other aspects that are necessary in this world for this life.

One said, “I love my life, I love my youth, I love spring, I love this world, I love all beautiful things. How can I leave all of these things for God?” Nursi says, in answer to this question, “However involuntary loving is, you can direct it to a certain object. For example, by convincing yourself that something beloved is ugly, or an obstacle to or only a mirror for an object worthy of true love, this feeling of love can be diverted to the true object of love.” Nursi thus says, “I do not tell you not to love what you have enumerated, but I tell you to love them in the name of God, and in the name of the love of God. Love the beautiful fruit as a bounty from God, the Merciful and Compassionate One. When you love this, you love the Merciful and the Giver of the Bounties, al-Mun’im. This love is a collective thankfulness. To love these things is good. Love your mother and father, because they helped you when you were young. When you love them in the name of God, your love for them, in fact, is love for God. When your parents are old, you love them more; thus one loves for the sake of God. Love your children in the name of God, as they are gifts from God. Be patient if they die, and do not be without hope; you should say that they were a gift from my Lord to me, and they were His creatures. . . He took them to a better place. If I had one share in them, He had a thousand shares.” It is thus important to submit to the will of God. Nursi says, “Life is the most beautiful bounty that God has given you. When you love your life, you should know that this life is a gift from God, and you love it in the name of God. Loving your spouse is a gift, and your love should not be based on apparent beauty, because when they are old, that beauty will not last. Love should not be based on physical beauty, but on spiritual beauty, or ethical beauty. This beauty continues to the end of life. The criterion of your love for them for the sake of God is that when they lose their physical beauty, they will need you more, and you will continue in your love for them.”

In this way, the world is a reflection of God, and by loving the world, one will be led to loving God. Nursi concludes this concept with the following statement, “Love the world and what is in it, with mana-i harfi;² that is to love it not for itself, but for God, and to say how beautifully it has been created, not how beautiful it is. Do not put the love of anything in the depths of your heart, because the innermost heart is the mirror of God, and it belongs to Him.” Nursi ends with this prayer, “O Lord, bestow upon us your love, and the love of things that make us close to you.”

Nursi also speaks of ubudiyya, or worship of God. According to him, when people pray they do not pray for future rewards, because as humans we have been given our reward. “Oh my soul, worship is not the beginning of future bounties; it is the result of previous ones. Yes, we have already received our wages. Accordingly, we are asked to worship and serve.”

Nursi says that our individual existence is a bounty, and being a human is another bounty-existence is pure goodness compared to non-existence. Food is also a bounty from God prepared for the needs of our stomach. The created world is another bounty which is adored through our eyes and ears. After mentioning this, Nursi says, “Oh my soul, you have already received this wage. You are asked to fulfill worship, which is joyful and easy for the body. Despite that, you are lazy. Even if you perform some kind of worship, you ask for something more, as if the previous bounties were not enough. And you even complain, asking why your prayer has not been accepted. Yes, your duty is not to complain, but to continue praying. Almighty God gives you Paradise and eternal bliss merely as a result of His Grace and Mercy. You constantly take refuge in His Mercy and Grace. Trust in Him and listen to His divine command. ‘Say, Oh Muhammad, let them be happy for what God has given them through His Grace and Mercy. That is better than what they have collected’” (10:58).

Nursi goes on to say that the one person’s worship is not enough to repay the bounties of God. Nursi quotes a saying of the Prophet, “the intention of a believer is higher than their action,” which means that, by performing an action, an individual may have a limited amount of worship, but by making an intention one can have a limitless amount of worship. When a person says in their daily prayers “O Lord, to you alone we worship and to you alone we ask for help,” they introduce the worship of all creatures to God. This makes the amount of worship limitless and makes them the representative of all creatures speaking and presenting their worship to God. Nursi refers to this statement, saying “O Lord, we glorify you with the glorification of all your creatures.”

Nursi finishes this section by restating the importance of love for God and not for the universe. He says, “If a human is deceived by indulging in the world of multiplicity through the love of the world and is drowned, they will most certainly suffer unlimited loss. They will execute themselves collectively. If humans raise their heads and listen to the language of the Qur’an through the ears of the heart and direct themselves to unity, they then can ascend the ladder of worship, approaching the throne of perfection and then can become an eternal human.”

Nursi believes that there are two paths in front of all individuals. On one path they can use this capacity of love for transient things and, in the end, will certainly lose. On the other path, they will be aware of their importance and their unlimited capacity of love and goodness and, being a candidate of eternal bliss, they will successfully, through their trust in God, gain it.

Finally, Nursi refers to Prophet Abraham’s story, as narrated in the Qur’an. In order to make his people see the truth, when he sees a star he says: “This is my lord (according to your claims).” When the star sets (fades), he says “I do not love those that set.” When he sees the Moon, he says “This is my lord (according to your claims).” When he finds it fading, it becomes obvious that it cannot be his lord. When he sees the Sun, he says “This is my lord; this is larger.” When it sets, he says “O, my people, I am innocent of what you associate (with God).” The Qur’an speaks of his famous statement, “I do not love those that set” (6:76). Nursi says, referring to this story, “O my soul, since the truth is this, and since you are from the nation of Abraham, peace be upon him, be like Abraham and say that I do not love those that set and turn your face to the eternal Beloved.”

Footnotes 

1. The quotes in this article are taken from the Turkish Sozler by Bediuzzaman Said Nursi (Nesil Yayinlari, Istanbul: 1996) v. I, pp. 156-60; 292-93. For the English translation of the book see The Words, Nursi, S., Kaynak, Izmir:1997
2. Nursi refers to a grammatical rule in the Arabic lan- guage which indicates that a letter by itself has no meaning. In order to have a meaning it has to rely on something else. 

Women in politics

I attended a lecture by Iceland’s Olof Olafsdottir, who is the head of the division for Equality between Women and Men at the Council of Europe a very long title to carry along with the heavy responsibilities that follow

The topic was women in politics in the 43 Council of Europe member states. First of all, it is worth noting that voting rights for most European women were achieved only after World War I (1919 for the US). Statistics on the percentage of women in the government are extremely astonishing,1 although the trend is rather expected. As we move toward southern and eastern Europe, the female percentage decreases. Sweden, Finland, and Norway, are at the top of the list. Half of all Swedish government officials are women. On the other hand, Italy has only 8%, the lowest among European Union member countries.

Certain countries have undertaken serious reforms to increase female participation. For instance, Spain moved up to 21% when, in the post-Franco era, women took advantage of the rebirth of democracy. France, the symbol of equality, fraternity, and liberty, recently reformed its constitution to grant equal opportunities for women to participate in politics. Even though women had the right to vote and be elected since 1949, the French government was only 27% female as of 2001.

Political systems are a major factor. If political parties and politicians have too much power, the competition is tougher. As a consequence, it is believed that women find it too difficult to deal with process as well as with the power of the positions. Turkey and France are perfect examples of this phenomenon, and so women are likely to be discouraged by the ensuing harsh power struggle.

Paternal leave for fathers

Why does the decision-maker’s gender make a difference? Many people might pose this question. The most current and concrete answer is the case of Sweden, where 50% of the decision-makers are women. A paternal leave law exists in many democratic countries. However there is a major flaw almost all cases only the mother uses her paternal leave while the father does not interrupt his career. The Swedish Parliament passed a law offering a month-long paternal leave to the father that cannot be passed on to the mother. As a result, many fathers who had used the excuse that their jobs were more important and any interruption would be considered a major reversal suddenly decided to use this opportunity to be with their new-born children!

Another major result of the high female presence in the Swedish Parliament is the seen in legislation related to prostitution: both the prostitute and the customer are punished!

Cultural reasons for lower political participation in Muslim countries

Two related factors can account for the major gap between countries having high and low rates of women in their governments: democratic identity and culture. Efficient and older democracies have established a real democratic culture in which individuals are valued and politics is close to the people. Also, culture tends to affect the role of men and women immensely. For instance, Turkish women are very powerful in the household. The division of duties has developed according to Islamic teachings, which assigns specific social roles to men and women according to their nature. Women are more emotional, intuitive, and affectionate, and so are more fit to run the family and the household and to educate the children. Men, on the other hand, are responsible for struggling outside the house to maintain the family. Thus, in most Muslim-majority countries the percentage of women in politics is rather low. However, as the family structure is very strong, fewer social problems are observed.

Gender Equity in Qur’an

It was hard for me to accept this view until I realized that, according to the Qur’an:

– Men and women have the same spiritual human nature.

– Both genders received the divine breath, for they were created with the same human and spiritual nature.

– Both genders are dignified and are trustees of Allah on Earth.

– Woman is not blamed for humanity’s fall. Pregnancy and childbirth are not seen as punishments for eating from the forbidden tree. On the contrary, the Qur’an considers them to be grounds for love and respect due to mothers.

– Men and women have the same religious and moral duties and responsibilities, and both face the consequences of their deeds.

– The Qur’an does not state that one gender is superior to the other. Some mistakenly translate qiwamah (responsibility for the family) as superiority. The Qur’an makes it clear that the sole basis of superiority is piety and righteousness instead of gender, color, or nationality.

– The absence of women as Prophets or Messengers of Allah is due to the demands and physical suffering associated with such figures’ roles, not because of any spiritual inferiority.2

Conclusion

There is no evidence from the Qur’an to preclude women from leading a state. Islam does not forbid or discourage the education of women. On the contrary, Islam authorizes women to have careers in fields such as teaching and medicine. However, a woman’s most essential responsibility is to educate her children and raise a sound family. Raising children is a key social function, for a society’s future and efficient functioning depends on educated generations. Thus, from this perspective, a woman’s responsibility is rather significant and challenging.

I hope that those who are having a hard time with gender equality in Islam take the time to do a little research, because the most logical and convincing answers are there to be discovered.

Footnote

1. All statistics are from the 2001 Report of the Directorate General of Human Rights of the Council of Europe, Women in Politics in the Council of Europe Member States.

2. Jamal A. Badawi, Gender Equity in Islam. Online at: www.iad.org/books/GEI.html.

Yes, illness utters this warning to us: “Your body is not composed of stone and iron, but of various materials that are always disposed to parting. Leave your pride, understand your impotence, recognize your Owner, know your duties, learn why you came into this world!” It declares this secretly in the heart’s ear.

Moreover, since the pleasures and enjoyment of this world do not continue, particularly if they are illicit, they are fleeting, full of pain, and sinful. Do not weep on the pretext of illness because you have lost those pleasures. On the contrary, think of the aspects of worship and reward in the Hereafter to be found in illness, and try to receive pleasure from those.