Question: “Those who are not preoccupied with elevated goals will be consumed by lowly troubles.” What needs to be understood from this statement?

Answer: If a person is to be burdened by troubles, they should be burdened with elevated or sublime problems.             One such trouble we should burden ourselves with is our nearness to God. Are we responding to the countless blessings God has bestowed upon us the way we should? Are we able to use the Prophetic teachings as guidelines for that proper response?

Bediuzzaman Said Nursi said:

“The Worship of God is not an act through which to demand a Divine reward in the future, but rather the necessary result of a past Divine favor.”

“Worship is not for future rewards; it is offered for blessings that have already been given.”

Essentially, everything is given to us as Divine favors. While this is a fact, would it not be disrespectful to God to claim we have deserved even more, for we think we have fulfilled everything? Some have even considered the usage of pronouns such as “I, you, we,” as overstepping our territory vis-à-vis God Almighty. Get rid of the self so that He, God Almighty, may manifest within your heart. Take yourself out of the equation. For even our existence is only a matter of contingency, whereas the existence of the One Who is the Ultimate Truth and Ever-Constant one is absolute. We are not more than the shadow of the shadow of the shadow of His Existence.

In this sense we have no right to claim anything since He has given, and gives, everything.

No matter how long we live, even if we were to live 950 years like Prophet Noah did, peace be upon him, our sole duty should still be servanthood to God.

Even if we lived as long as he did and spent the entirety of our years in servitude to God in full sincerity, we would still not be able to express full gratitude for the bounties bestowed upon us by God.

We should do our best to occupy ourselves with this concern.

This should be the goal of all people who have chosen the path of the Prophets, strive to deliver God’s message, and make Him known to all of humanity. Making the hearts of others beat with His love and with excitement should be the grand purpose of life.

If one does not assume such lofty goals, lowly troubles will consequently befall them and plague their minds. One becomes occupied with pursuits such as living in extravagant houses, getting the best job with the highest pay, driving the nicest cars, or other worldly pleasures. The heart becomes obsessed with these fleeting desires, causing the person to unknowingly walk down the path of Satan.

The following saying, while being slightly changed, belongs to the Muslim jurist Imam Shafi:

“If you do not occupy yourself with the truth, falsehood occupies you.”

May God protect us from this truth!

Satan has made it his mission to drive us astray from the path of God and to fill our minds with falsehoods so that the truth may escape our grasp. He has had a burning hatred and contempt towards humankind from the very beginning. The only way to stand upright against Satan is to stand in front of God in devoted servanthood, bowing down, prostrating, and spilling your heart out in front of Him. This is based upon having a strong connection with Him. A weak connection will not last in the face of such temptations         

Bediuzzaman said, “A lie is a word of unbelief.” Everyone that lies does not become an unbeliever, but from the perspective of a believer, it is a characteristic that is associated with denying the biggest truth, God’s existence. God’s Messenger, peace and blessings be upon him, lists the three traits of a hypocrite. These and many more can be seen within an unbeliever:          

The first: he lies when he speaks.   

The second: he does not deliver on his promise.

And lastly: he betrays trust when entrusted with something.

Sometimes, a fourth attribute is mentioned:

“When he makes a promise, he wrongs you and breaches it.”          

The first trait is rooted in deceit; a hypocrite’s attribute is an unbeliever’s attribute. Lying is mentioned; however, slandering also falls into that category. It is even worse to have a slander that supports such a lie. This is because lying primarily concerns one’s self, whereas slandering questions others’ dignity and reputation. In order to save oneself from oppression, if people are defaming and ostracizing others, they need to know that this is wrong and it falls under the first category of lying, for what they are attributing to others is false.

There is always hope that repentance can allow us to turn back to God and be cleansed. Even major sins, such as these, can be removed with enough sincere repentance.

There are many steps that must be taken if one wishes to become closer to God, distance themselves from loving material goods, stay away from sin, and avoid spreading falsehoods.

Repentance (istighfar) comes first, as it is required to clean the slate and start anew. Following that, one must turn to God completely (tawba). Then, one must try to do it wholeheartedly (inaba). Another step in this journey is awba, which for those who are nearest to God Almighty is “turning to God in contrition.”

If one of these people that had turned to God in contrition glanced at something forbidden, 60 years later when he remembers it, he says, “I repent a million times! How could I have fallen into doing such a thing, my Lord!’”

The Glorious Prophet also praised those who repented much: “Glad tidings to the person whose record is filled with repentance.”

Abu Hurayra is known to have spent his time in remembrance and glorifications of God – as many as twelve thousand times daily, including supplications of the Prophet:

“O God Who is beyond any faults, I seek refuge from everything that doesn’t please You. I am seeking Your mercy and for the forgiveness of my sins. Dear Lord, increase me in knowledge and grant me salvation, and keep my heart steadfast; bestow blessings unto me; without doubt you are gracious, the Giver.”

Again, Abu Hurayra repeated such prayers twelve thousand times every day. It may seem strange that he repented so much. When asked about it he said, “I will repeat [prayers] as many times as the sins I have.” I wonder what sin he might have committed, when he was only among the poorest students of Ashab al-Suffa in Medina. How could he ever do any sin when he never abandoned the Prophet and lived a humble life in hunger? His is an example of awba, turning to God in contrition.

If you look at the prayers of Prophet Muhammad, Moses, Jesus, Jacob, and Joseph, peace be upon them all, you might assume that they did nothing but sin. They considered even an innocent word or faintest thought that crossed their imagination as sin, and developed an attitude accordingly, as if they committed murder. By the way, we have to acknowledge that these great souls never committed a sin as we understand what a sin is.

May God Almighty grant us success in knowing them!

“I commanded you the good but I haven’t taken it on board myself!
I haven’t been on the straight path
Be on the straight path! was my word to you.”
Busiri

This is the Winner essay of our 2010 writing contest conducted in cooperation with Everest Productions. Participants were asked to write down to live out what truly mattered to them most assuming they were told they had only three days left in this life.

Time-our most precious commodity-may seem infinite, but it is also unrecoverable. Once a moment is spent, it is gone forever. This is because we are linear beings. We are born into this world at Point A-our Arrival-and then move forward from there, making some detours along the way. We wander-sometimes aimlessly-to Point B, taking a spouse, perhaps, or throwing ourselves into our careers. Later, we meander to Point C, which is trying to enjoy our lives on the way to old age. But ultimately we all arrive at the same destination, which is Point D-our Death. There are no exceptions to this rule, and it is not an arguable point. We cannot sue God to recoup the losses of our misspent youth, and the universe has one iron-clad policy regarding time: YOU WASTE IT, YOU’VE LOST IT. So, with this information firmly in mind, I ask myself: “What would I do if I had only 72 hours left to live?” It is an interesting question that is difficult to answer because I have spent the majority of my adult life in prison. Which, incidentally, is where I am now.

I am currently serving a 6-year sentence and have no way of knowing if I will ever see the streets again. I am forty-five years old and healthy, but as we all know-tomorrow is promised to no one. So this question of 72 hours intrigues me on several levels, the first of which is: “What would it be like to die alone in prison?” I rarely speak with my family, and while I do have a couple of good friends, they are not here. So here I would die, and alone it would be. The implications of that statement have shaken me in a way that until a few days ago I would have thought impossible. I can barely imagine lying here on my prison bunk, knowing that soon I would close my eyes, never to open them again. I have accomplished nothing of importance in my life, and with 72 hours to live there would be virtually no chance of me doing anything to benefit this world or anyone in it. Sure, I have written five novels, but much like me, they are lying dormant doing nothing to benefit anyone. The thought that they would never be published makes me want to cry. In fact, I can feel that thought wrenching my heart as I write this very sentence. Nevertheless, all of that is a very selfish way of thinking, but it is with that self-centered attitude that I am most comfortable. Due to my addiction and abuse of alcohol, I have led a very selfish life. I rarely gave more than a passing thought to the feelings or well-being of others. Now, however, I will admit this: I feel quite remorseful of the way I have treated others. I am not a heartless person; I just had to close my heart to combat the pain of addiction, and then the emptiness of long-term incarceration. I wasn’t always like that, of course. I was even in love once-a long, long time ago. I remember it like it was yesterday, but that is only because nothing of importance has happened to me since. It’s funny now, more than twenty years later, but I can still remember the way she kissed. I still miss her sometimes. If I had only 72 yours left to live, I would probably think a lot about her. It was the last time that I was truly happy.

But happy memories are self-indulgent, and with my life-clock ticking down, I believe that the time would have finally arrived for me to make peace with myself. I have never forgiven myself for wasting the talents and gifts that God has given me. I am not a stupid man: I know for a fact that I could have helped others. I could have made a difference. I could have shown people how to avoid walking down the same lonely roads that I have traveled. I could have shown them how important it is to be able to smile at yourself in the mirror, and how empowering it is to thank God every day for all that has occurred-good or bad. But I didn’t. Instead, I spent my life at the bottom of a vodka bottle, doing nothing but feeling sorry for myself. What a waste. What a complete and shameful waste.

So here, now, lying on a prison bunk contemplating the prospect of having 72 hours to live, sadly, I suppose, that for me it would all come down to regrets. The biggest of these would be that I never had children. Not because I don’t like them-because I do-but because I grew up without a father, and I could never bring myself to inflict that kind of pain on my own child. And since I was unable to stop drinking, it was a certainty that I would always be in prison. Nevertheless, I have to say that just once in my life it would have been nice to get a big goodnight hug along with an, “I love you, Daddy.”

But in the end I suppose that I would use my last few hours searching for the meaning of life. Not in some universal sense, but in a very personal-and, as usual-selfish way. I would like to say that I would put aside my life-long obsession with gratifying my own immediate desires, but the truth is – I have no idea how to do that. Selfless acts seem a mystery to me, yet I don’t know why. Even in the past when I’ve done the smallest of kindnesses, such as giving spare change to a homeless person, I am sure that somewhere in the back of my mind I was thinking, “Did you see that God? When you get a chance, could you jot that down on my scorecard?”

And-yes-I do believe in God. So in those last few hours I would be constantly calling Him on His cell phone, asking Him to forgive me for my past indiscretions. He would forgive me, being the loving and merciful God that He is, and maybe that is what my entire existence here on earth would boil down to those last few moments in which I realize that I have done nothing to be worthy of God’s mercy and grace, but will receive it anyway.

So again-here, now-lying on this prison bunk, it’s difficult to find any one thing that I could do to make a difference. I am open to any revelations or epiphanies that God might like to place on my heart because after having caused so much pain on my brief journey through this world, I would dearly love to “shuffle off this mortal coil,” believing that I have left this place a little better than how I found it.

It’s a lovely thought.

It is an interesting question.

Which is why I find it so disturbing that in an infinite universe full of limitless possibilities, I am still unable to offer a satisfactory answer.

Can a person live without sleep?

Sleep is known as one of the basic needs that are necessary to sustain life in addition to eating, drinking, and respiration. There have been some studies about the endurance of people to sleeplessness. The period that a normal person can do without sleep is three or four days on average. At the end of this period, some problems arise such as absent-mindedness, irritability, not knowing the time, hallucinations, stammering, not understanding what is said, trembling of the hands, inflammation in the body, pain, and defective vision. The longest one of these experiments was carried out on an American undergraduate student. After 11 days of sleeplessness, the experiment was ended when his health was under serious threat.

How much sleep does a healthy person need?

Various studies on sleep show that the period of sleep we need for a healthy and balanced life is between 4-10 hours for an average person, depending on genetic factors. It is about 6-8 hours for adults. On the other hand there are some studies that show that we do not have to sleep eight hours a day, on the contrary six, five, even four hours can be sufficient.

What are the consequences of too much or too little sleep?

Those who sleep too much or very little tend to face health problems as compared to those who enjoy regular sleep. In a long-term study, more than 71,000 women were observed over ten years and two important points were determined: firstly, long hours of sleep increased the risk of heart disease; secondly, those who slept too much faced as many health problems as those who slept very little. Sleeping too much can cause obesity, diabetes, high blood pressure, a decrease in muscle volume, a reduction in the immune system function, and depression.

What kind of relationship is there between the amount of sleep and rest?

We can see in our own experiences and that of others that there is no direct proportion between the amount we sleep and the amount we rest. A person who sleeps little can feel rested more than one who sleeps too much; the former one has had a restful sleep that is sufficient.

What should be done to enjoy quality sleep?

There are some important points in daily life and prior to sleeping that need to be focused on:

– One should have a light meal in the evening, at least two hours before sleeping. Heavy meals carry risks for those who have problems with snoring and respiration. Drinks that have stimulating effect, such as tea, coffee, and cola delay sleeping.

– The sleeping atmosphere is important. The ideal atmosphere for quality sleep requires low light, quiet, and a warm room with a bed which is not too hard or too soft.

– One should have a regular sleeping habit. One of the conditions for enjoying quality sleep is to sleep and wake up at the same hours. It is particularly important to have regular sleep on week days. The disruption of this regularity at the weekend is one of the stumbling blocks standing in the way of a quality sleep.

– One should lie on the right or left side. Lying flat on one’s back or lying prone can bring certain problems. Snoring or interruption of respiration only occurs while lying flat on one’s back. The most suitable position for sleeping is to turning to the right or left. A person unconsciously moves and changes position 10 or 15 times during his sleep as a result of Divine Mercy. Here one remembers the verses of the Holy Qur’an about the sleeping positions of the “people of the cave”: . . . We caused them to turn over to the right and the left… (Kahf 18:18). It is striking that there is no expression of lying flat on one’s back or lying prone. Moreover lying on one’s right is also the tradition of the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him.

During which hours should we sleep?

In order to determine the ideal hours for sleeping it is important to know the events that occur in the human body during sleep at different periods. We should know that the pineal gland is installed in the human body as a system. Located in the mid-lower part of the brain, this gland has to secrete certain hormones. One of them is melatonin. God eases sleep with this hormone and regulates the cycle of sleep and waking. The secretion of melatonin begins in the evening and goes on until it peaks at two or three o’clock. That means a system was innately installed in the human body that makes sleeping easy in the evenings. On the other hand, being exposed to extreme artificial light, watching television at midnight, and external effects, such as electromagnetic fields, decrease the production of melatonin and is harmful to the running of the system.

Further research has shown that sleep plays an important role in bringing the TSH hormone under control. TSH helps control our metabolism and, indirectly, our levels of energy. Therefore, nowadays those who have low TSH level, that is about 25 or 35 %, are recommended to wake up during the night. This new scientific research is completely in accordance with the habit of the Prophet; he used to sleep shortly after Isha prayer (earlier than most people sleep nowadays), and wake in the very early morning hours (sometimes as early as midnight) again to pray. This sleeping system takes its resource from Holy Qur’an. God orders the Prophet in the Qur’an as follows:

O you enwrapped one! Rise to keep vigil in the night, except a little; Half of it, or lessen it a little; Or add to it (a little); and pray and recite the Qur’an calmly and distinctly (with your mind and heart concentrated on it). We will surely charge you with a weighty Word (and with applying it in your daily life and conveying it to others). Rising and praying at night impresses (mind and heart) most strongly and (makes) recitation more certain and upright.” (Muzammil 73:1-7)

There are also some facts about napping. The best time for a nap is midday according to the experts. A half-hour siesta consisting of a deep and slow period is equal to two hours of nighttime sleep. Therefore when one sleeps at midday, they will need less sleep at night. Midday is known as being the least efficient period of day and human beings have the tendency to sleep at this time. By having a short siesta, one spends other periods in the day more energetically and efficiently. This sleep is frequently practiced in hot climate zones. In some companies in Japan, certain places are allotted in order to encourage people to sleep at midday.

The day time nap is a sleep that the Prophet Muhammad practiced and advised, which is known as “qaylula.” This sleep lasts from mid-morning to just past noon. This sleep is part of the Prophet’s tradition as it allows a person to rise at night to pray. In this way one is prepared for midnight prayer.

There are two more periods of time in the day and it is not recommended to sleep at these times. The first one is “ghaylula.” This is from pre-dawn to forty minutes or so after the sun has risen, the time when prayer is allowed, but not recommended. Sleep at this time is contrary to the practices of the Prophet. The time most appropriate for preparing to work for one’s livelihood is when it is cool. When this time has passed, lethargy descends. It has been established through numerous experiences that just as this is detrimental to that day’s labor and indirectly to one’s livelihood, so also is it the cause of unfruitfulness. In a hadith, the Messenger of God said: “The early morning has been blessed for my Community.”1 As a matter of fact, when the Prophet was about to send an army, he sent it at an early time of the day. Sahr ibn al-Wada, the conveyor of above-mentioned hadith, was a merchant and used to begin his travels very early in the morning. Therefore, he became rich and he had much property. It is also a known fact that the best time of working for sustenance is the early morning.

The other sleep that is not recommended is “faylula.” This is from the afternoon prayer till sunset. This sleep leads to a diminution of life, that is, it makes the life of that day shorter and makes it pass in a state of semi-sleep due to drowsiness, thus causing a physical deficiency. So too, in an immaterial aspect, since most of the results of that day, material and immaterial, became apparent after the afternoon prayer, to pass that time in sleep is as if one has prevented the results of one’s action and makes the day feel as though it has not been lived.

In brief, the “sleep” mentioned in the Holy Qur’an is a great bounty for human beings. However as with all bounties, it is important to find the middle course in sleeping if we want to live a balanced life and to benefit from this bounty during the recommended hours and in the recommended ways.

Note

1. Abu Dawud, Jihad, 85; Tirmidhi, Buyu, 6.

References

• Nursi, S., The Flashes Collection, Sozler Publications, Istanbul: 1995.
• Kaynak, H., Uyku (Sleep), Turk Uyku Arastirmalari Dernegi (Turkish Sleep Research Society), http://www.tsrs.org.tr/
• Burns, K., MH, ND, “Studies Show Fajr Prayer is Healthy,” http://www.islamonline.net/
• “Sleep, Blessed Sleep,” http://media.wiley.com/

Honesty, defined as honor gained by action or conduct, is an inevitable part of our private and public life. But its implications for public life in a democracy are far more important. We can do a better job of passing on a sense of the value of honesty, integrity, and personal responsibility to the next generation in a democratic society. Teddy Roosevelt, while governor of New York, said: Honesty is not so much a credit as an absolute prerequisite to efficient service to the public. Unless a man is honest we have no right to keep him in public life. No man who is corrupt, no man who condones corruption in others, can possibly do his duty by the community.(1)

It is not an easy task to resolve the problem of honesty in democratic governance. To the extent that knowledge gives power, to that extent do lies affect the distribution of power; they add to that of the liar, and diminish that of the deceived, altering his choices at different levels.(2) Bok, a writer and philosopher currently serving as a distinguished fellow at the Harvard Center for Population and Development Studies, explains the importance of honesty in public life by emphasizing how lying harms social trust:

The importance of honesty in public life is as follows. Lying and deception clearly do not affect only isolated individuals. As lies spread “ by imitation, or in retaliation, or forestall suspected deception “ social trust is damaged. Yet trust is a social good to be protected just as much as the air we breathe or the water we drink. Social goods are non-excludable, individuals cannot be prevented from sharing them, and they are available for the public to enjoy. Examples include the lighthouse, peace and security, and law and order. When social trust is damaged, the community as a whole suffers; and when it is destroyed, societies falter and collapse.(3)

In the public sphere, lying or the suspicion of lying has an added consequence: the proliferation of bureaucracy and regulation.

Gutmann and Thompson see deception, the action of deceiving or cheating, as closely related to secrecy and confidentiality. They consider the following factors in which citizens can permit public officials to engage in deception: the importance of the deception’s goal; the availability of alternative goal-achieving means; who will be deceived (other officials, other governments, all citizens); accountability (the possibility of approving deception in advance or discovering it later); and containing the deception (its effects on other actions by officials).(4)

Requirements of honesty

The principle of honesty, when applied to public policy and administration, has several requirements. The first one is the obligation to avoid lying. The Iran-Contra affair and other cases raised the perennial question of whether official lies should be permitted for the public good. When John M. Poindexter, President Reagan’s national security advisor, was accused by Congress of an unapologetic embrace of truth, he replied that he had acted in what he thought were the country’s long-term interests. Even those who disagree with Poindexter’s judgment acknowledge that certain situations warrant deception. But was this particular situation exceptional enough to warrant it?

The second requirement is being truthful when presenting information to superiors and the public. For example, a public official cannot make exaggerated claims (or vice versa) about what a proposed program will do in order to generate enthusiasm for it.

The third requirement is respecting other people’s ability to gather and present accurate information relevant to public policy. In other words, honesty requires that an official does not try to prevent or suppress studies that challenge his or her view. Deception involves intentionally (or negligently) causing someone to believe something that the deceiver knows (or should know) to be false. Political deception is not always easy to recognize, because it seldom comes in the form of an outright lie.(5)

The fourth requirement is to keep the public well-informed. This cannot be overemphasized, for an informed public is an essential ingredient of democracy. Yet in practice, some officials (e.g., the president, mayor, policy makers, or military people) have found an easy justification for both secrecy and deception. They believe that ordinary citizens, even sometimes other government officials, cannot understand such complex problems as military operations, international security and national defense issues, and other such matters. The people’s apparent inability to do so gives public officials a kind of right to deception. Since average citizens cannot possibly know the whole truth about specialized subjects, lying to them is permissible “ provided that there are some good reasons. Sometimes, government officials use the same ethic when they decide not to inform citizens of government involvement in various complex issues.

Conclusion

In a democratic society, these reasons cannot be used to justify giving anybody permission to deceive whenever they consider it necessary. The social good and public interest should not be used as excuses for deception; rather, they must be a reason for honesty. The ethical education of public officials, public awareness, open and transparent public administration, clear rules, policies, and regulations might ease the job of public officials in terms of ethical dilemmas. Such practices also might help them by providing consistency in decision-making, understanding the values reflected by that decision, and reaching more reflective judgments. Findings reported in several analytical studies indicate that ethics education is making a difference. We cannot afford, intentionally or unintentionally, to be a partner in producing a new generation of leaders who are ethically illiterate and morally misguided.

Footnotes

1. Theodore Roosevelt, The Eighth and Ninth Commandments in Politics, Outlook (12 May 1900). Online at: www.bartleby.com/58/7.html
2. Sissela Bok, Lying: Moral Choice in Public and Private Life (New York: Pantheon, 1978), 20.
3. Ibid.
4. A. Gutmann and D. F. Thompson, Ethics and Politics: Cases and Comments (Chicago: Nelson-Hall Publishers, 1998), 48.
5. Ibid.

‘He died so young’ they said, and added: He had so many things to do’.

It was true, that I had left a great deal of work half done; I had not set up a good business for my son, completed the payment of the instalment of the car and TV. Winter was around the corner, I had not prepared the leaking roof or bought the fuel. Now the dream to establish a big firm and employ my friends had dispersed to nothing.

Suddenly, I was irritated by a noise, as if coming through a microphone echoed in every remote cell of my brain:

‘It is all over!’

I wished it had not been all over, I did not know why the accident happened. I was a good driver.

As I was trying to recall the events that had taken place, I realized that my friends surrounding the coffin were covering it by putting the lid over me. No matter how much I wanted to shout, I could neither move nor speak. I was in complete darkness and turned my eyes towards the light coming from the gaps in the coffin.

I said to myself in horror:

‘Oh my God! What am I going to do now?’

Seized with fear, I could think of nothing. Later, I was lifted on to their shoulders as they began to carry the coffin. Hearing the noise coming from outside understood that it was raining. The noise of the raindrops mingled with the creaking of the coffin. We must have gone to the mosque for the funeral prayer.

I remembered that although the mosque was so close to my home, I had never paid it a visit. I had planned to start prayers after the age of fifty and I would quit the bad habits everyone complained about. If the accident had not occurred, I would have been a good fellow.

The voice that I heard before repeated, ‘It is all over!’ A little later my funeral prayer was completed. The Imam was asking people’s opinion, as to ‘what kind of character I was’. I knew that among them were some eight or ten persons did not give an opinion. I accepted that I had given them some evil and harm, but if the accident had not occurred, I would have been pleased to make amends and duly compensate them for the equivalent of any harm done. After the prayer in the mosque was completed, I was lifted on to the shoulders again. Due the inclination of the coffin, I understood that we were on the road uphill to the grave. I was aware that it was pouring rain and the rain was seeping through the cracks in the coffin on to the shroud, making it damp. Nevertheless, I tried to listen to the conversations coming from outside. Some of my friends were talking about the stagnation of the market, some were commentating on a Western film they had seen the previous evening on the TV. Another, carrying my coffin whispered:

‘What a bad day the deceased chose to die, we have got wet through and through’.

I could not believe what I heard and I thought that I must have misunderstood. Were they not the ones for whom I had sacrificed my wealth and my health?

A little later my journey finished and my coffin was put down on the ground. The lid was removed again. The arms holding my weak and lifeless flesh put it into the hole where a little water had collected. Lying on the ground, I looked around:

‘Oh my God, was it a grave?’ I did not know why I had not thought until then that I would be buried in a grave. No one heard my silent cries and my best friends seemed to be competing each other to cover my body with thick boards.

I was in complete dark once more, I began to pray with all my cells;

‘Oh my merciful God’ I said, ‘Is there another chance to be a real servant of Yours?’

The same voice repeated,

‘It is all over, everything has finished.’

I was shaken by the noise of the earth, which clammered like thunder as it was been thrown on the boards. With a final effort to get up, I opened my eyes. I was lying on my comfortable bed and it was all a nightmare. One of my neighbours, a doctor, was standing at the bedside.

‘It is all over,’ he repeated, ‘You are all right’.

I sat up slowly from the bed, I was dripping with perspiration, feeling I had lost twenty kilos weights. It was raining heavy in the outside and the whole house was shaken by thunder.

While I was trying to recover myself in front of the bewildered eyes of the others, I whispered:

‘Oh my Lord, a thousand thanks to You. What would I do, if You had not given me another chance to be an obedient servant to You?’