Future is dim but not hopeless
The rebellion in you is not worthless
Stop listening to songs of cowardice
Act yourself out of the gloom and darkness

Your life is an example of uneven chances
Your birth was every bit of miraculous
Beaten the odds countless times
Believe yourself out of the gloom and darkness

Outwork, outlive, outwill the doubters
Muscles are tired, mind is restless
Snap out and control your emotions
Defy yourself out of the gloom and darkness

Act now you are fearless!
Believe your future is victorious
Defy pessimist thoughts and bitterness
Will yourself out of the gloom and darkness

How can one keep their motivation and sincerity while doing good works and services—and keep it as fresh as at the beginning? What can be done to inspire new generations to devote their lives to lofty goals?

It is true that people usually start off with utmost sincerity and devotion in their acts of charity, expecting nothing but God’s good pleasure. At least, this was the case a few decades ago in our generation. People that gathered around a certain lofty cause used to have a very strong sense of solidarity and friendship with their colleagues on their shared journey. They used to read a lot and had intense discussions with a sense of curiosity and desire to learn more and explore the truths about human life. They would study different works and analyze them with a scholarly endeavor. I don’t remember ever departing a gathering in the past without reading a book and praying together. We would study a holy verse or a Prophetic saying and contemplate on the truths of faith. People were usually very enthusiastic to learn these truths—first for themselves, and secondly to teach others. Such a process of learning and teaching kept people well-nourished and fresh. Of course, the results out of this nourishment and freshness were abundant and satisfactory.

Sadly, we have lost that desire to read and learn, and this has caused the gap between us and our sources of knowledge to grow wide. It is very difficult, if not impossible, to keep one’s motivation for charitable work as high as it used to be. Some continue to have that desire, but the number of such people has not increased, at least not proportionally to the growth of their community. One reason for this has to do with the fact that in the past, people used to take a deep sense of pleasure from what they were reading; today, the same text does not sound as novel as it did before. There is a need to introduce a new style of reading, but those who are in a position to teach knowledge to others have not transformed their content to be more appealing.

What is more, as individuals have started to assume higher positions and status, their charitable work has become somewhat routine. They might have been deceived by people’s attention on what they had to say. They mistook this attention as if there was no need to change anything in the content they offered, so they went on repeating the same things over and over, which in time resulted in even the best truths seeming stale.

It is very important to find new methods and formats to rekindle the enthusiasm to read, explore, and do research. A mobilization is needed for this; otherwise, our spiritual motivation will not survive.

The firsts

The first followers of God’s messengers and those that came after them had unique qualities. They studied in the circle of such giants and witnessed their qualities firsthand; and this enabled them to reach distant horizons. Take students of Bediuzzaman: not only did they read his works very carefully, but they also asked questions to benefit from him even more. Perhaps, the fact that his students turned to him with full attention and concentrated their efforts in his works might have inspired him to say new things.

This level of excellence cannot be expected from everybody. It really requires an intellectual surgery, so to speak. How to do that is another question, but the main objective should be to analyze the subject matter we are reading with all its nuances, metaphors, and implications as comprehensively as possible. An effort in this direction will reveal the fact that we actually do not know enough of what we thought we already knew. This may ignite a spark in our soul, spurring us to save ourselves from the suffocating atmosphere of familiarity.

Today, we are not reading as seriously as we should. As a result, many lack knowledge even about essential matters. Many do not have a sense of curiosity to learn. It is really surprising to see people who call themselves believers but do not wonder at all about the message God sent for them. It is disturbing when people flip carelessly through scholarly works which normally demand serious contemplative effort. We act like we understand when in fact we do not. Superficial knowledge, shallow convictions do not answer the needs of our time, nor do they convince others and appear appealing.

Stuck with formalities

Along with losing an enthusiasm to read, another problem is that we are taken aback by many formalities. In the past, nobody had any titles, statuses, or ranks. There were no administrative boards, no inspectors, no management roles. Everyone was considered to be in the same rank. Everyone respected and cared about one another. The main concern was always to educate ourselves so that we could convey our message across in the best way possible. All efforts were directed at cultivating the “perfect person” and teaching others about faith. Everything else was just secondary or unimportant.

However, in time, someone has become a representative of a certain organization; others took on the responsibility of a place; while others still became members of a board. Meetings followed meetings. Perhaps, these were unavoidable consequences of growth and institutionalization. Yet, the real problem was when people forgot that these were in fact secondary issues and they made them turn away from the main objective. They even wasted their time and the time of others by engaging themselves with an agenda that did not really matter. They deceived themselves by assuming that they were doing something important, for the sake of which they in fact gave up on reading and prayer.

Administrative positions are there to facilitate charitable work and services for faith. They should never be the ultimate goal or given precedence over more important work. Everybody, regardless of their status, should see themselves like a messenger who is expected to deliver a message, a letter, or a greeting to the addressee. His or her duty is to fulfill their role so the system can operate as efficiently as possible. For those who devote themselves to a lofty cause, no worldly status or position can be something to attach our hearts to. These positions are nothing more than mere tools to help us convey the Divine message to those needy souls.

If we take these positions as the main objective, then we mistake instruments as the target. If we turn them into opportunities for fame, then we abuse what has been entrusted to us. If we abuse these positions and statuses for personal benefit, this becomes treason. What is it worth to hold these positions compared to the lofty cause of seeking God’s good pleasure? What is it worth to be famous when we have obtained our true objective in life? Maybe it is even better to be unknown so we can be safe from weaknesses like ostentation and self-conceit.

Reasons for loss of navigation

One major factor that has distanced us from our sources of knowledge has been our engagement with diverse social affairs. Many projects, which we think are necessary, engulf us so deeply that we always speak about them; we are even occupied with them in our dreams. When we get together, we spend time on these projects assuming they are our good work, but we forget what we should in fact devote ourselves to. In time, we lose our enthusiasm to read and understand—even that we need them. “Why do I need to read them?” we start asking with a false sense of self-sufficiency. The outward form, shell, and formalities replace the essence and meaning. As people get further away from truths of faith, many problems and shortcomings ensue.

Many activities that serve as an expansion of good services turn out to produce some unfavorable consequences. Now busy with opening cultural centers, dialogue institutions, schools, being employed in these organizations as a manager or as a teacher, meeting with other community leaders or public officials, even coming together with representatives of other faith groups, we distance ourselves from our own world, from our sphere of thinking. Many of us are now going through such a volatility, a loss of navigation.

To conclude, in order to rekindle our sense of enthusiasm, it is important to open ourselves up to the love of knowledge, research, seeking truth, and reconnect with our sources, as “the firsts” did in the best fashion in their time. We need to develop new methods to attract people’s attention to our works, those sweet wellsprings of treasure. This is how a new generation who can devote their lives to lofty causes can be raised.

Of course, there will be organizations and programs we put together for our mission. But these are secondary matters. Our meetings, organizations, etc. should primarily be about reading and studying, learning, and teaching, improving ourselves and helping others improve, and offering our prayers together in order to seek God’s good pleasure and spread His word.

Imagine the volume of learning that must take place while travelling from a dark and small room of several square inches to a most sophisticated world, which is beyond comprehension for even the most intelligent and educated human beings. But fortunately, she has somehow been granted the capital of enormous motivation allowing her to set out on this journey.

A great deal of learning takes place during the first couple of days or months, and it happens with almost no help from grownups. This initial burst of learning might never be equaled later in her life.

Her motivation and curiosity make such quick learning possible, but she is also aided by the gift of a wondrous computer with an excellent processor and vast memory – the human brain. These are the major resources in place when grownups begin to intervene in (or should we say interfere with?) the child’s learning.

There are two main possibilities for how parents, caretakers, teachers, and other adults might influence a child’s learning. The first is to optimize the use of the two capitals mentioned above, paving the way for continued and meaningful learning that has been going on successfully since birth. The second is to interfere with this natural progress with aimless, and sometimes forceful, attempts to feed the child with information. Parents or caretakers may not realize the enormous impact their approach will have on a child, especially one at the beginning of their journey. Yet the approach they choose significantly influences the habits of a child’s mind.

Let’s illustrate this with an analogy. If we think of every stimulus a child receives as a Lego piece, then the job in front of the child is to connect these pieces in a meaningful way. The goal for the child, then, is to continue to build a magnificent “knowledge palace” made up of these Lego pieces. Naturally, only the Lego formations toward this goal that are meaningful, self-coherent, and inspiring would be helpful and cognitively valuable.

Following the same analogy, it can be said that there are two main functions grownups can meaningfully perform in the child’s progress in building her knowledge palace. The first is to introduce the child to a great variety of Lego pieces, so that the palace does not become a narrow, dull, and uninspiring construction. This can be accomplished through providing the child with the most comprehensive sample of the world she will be experiencing and living in. Such a sample should include objects, phenomena, thoughts, and feelings reflecting as full a picture of our world as possible. The second is to be a role model and help the child connect the Lego pieces so that she learns to always make connections between the stimuli she comes across. By doing this, adults help the child meaningfully connect the Lego pieces, continually expanding and beautifying her knowledge palace. Otherwise, the stimuli will be left unprocessed, unconnected, and meaningless, cluttering the child’s mind.

What is worse is that for the child, piling up meaningless stimuli will become a habit of her mind. Such disorganization of the mind will, in turn, significantly damage the development of holistic and coherent thinking, undermining the child’s reasoning and problem solving skills. A thorough discussion of these extremely undesirable outcomes is beyond the scope of this article.

Grownups might facilitate the child’s true learning through a successful combination of the two functions mentioned above. Trying to keep the curiosity of the child high while not providing enough Lego pieces will not help. Dumping lots of Lego pieces in front of the child, but not caring about whether they are properly connected by the child, will not mean much, either. Parents, caretakers, teachers, and other adults should try to maintain the child’s motivation and curiosity while guiding her to connect the Lego pieces in a meaningful way. This is only possible through letting the child enjoy learning on her own terms. In other words, grownups should not try to build the knowledge palace for the child. They should not leave the child alone with the Lego pieces, either. Rather, they should serve as role models for learning and allow the child to become the architect of her own knowledge palace.

These guiding principles, though seemingly simple, have huge implications for raising children. Things like how a household is arranged, what toys parents choose for their child, and how to design classroom activities have a meaningful impact on how the child learns. Only two examples will be briefly given here. The child’s room or even the entire household should be a heaven for exploration, with a wide variety of toys or objects serving as a mini replica of what exists and happens in our world. Especially at the beginning of her exploration, the child should be served a full menu of materials, activities, games, hobbies, etc., so that she will have the opportunity to envisage as many different parts of her future knowledge palace as possible.

To present material to be learned while maintaining the curiosity of the child, the grownup should let the child taste the pleasure of learning. In this respect, an ideal setup for learning would be to present most of the material about the topic, while leaving room for the child to do some investigation on her own. Likewise, the child should be guided to do self-reflection after processing material, allowing her to reach her own conclusions and interpretations. This is an effective way for the child to connect the Lego pieces and beautify and expand her knowledge palace.

It should be kept in mind that the child arrives in this world with no prior cognitive preferences or habits. Therefore, continued successful employment of the approach presented above will establish and sustain a sound way of thinking and learning in the child’s mind. Every single effort to use these strategies will create a brilliant mind, always ready for true learning.   

Empathy can be described as “an ability to put one’s self into the mental shoes of another person to understand their emotions and feelings.” Other explanations of it range from experiencing emotions that match another person’s emotions, to understanding what the other person is thinking or feeling (A comprehensive list of books and scholarly articles about empathy is available at www.empathy.se). Some definitions also delineate empathy as “an affective response that stems from the apprehension or comprehension of another’s emotional state or condition, and that is similar to what the other person is feeling or would be expected to feel” (wikipedia).

Taking it to a further level, Nursi talked about tafani (annihilation in one another), which even blurs the line between self and other. When mentioning true brotherhood, he defined the term as, “oblivious of their own merits and the pride which may arise from them, each person lives with the merits and feelings of their brothers and sisters in their mind.” ¹

Conduits of empathy

Generally, the immediate reaction to the definitions above is, “Well, that sounds great; but how?” One should consider the background, education level, and many other parameters that characterize the “other” in order to reach an empathic state. Empathy begins with an awareness of another person’s feelings and thoughts, which requires the cognitive ability to understand them, and the emotional capacity to actually feel them. Emotionally expressive people readily provide their inner state, as their eyes and faces are constantly letting us know how they are feeling. However, most people do not simply reveal how they feel, which leads us to ask questions, read between the lines, make guesses, or interpret non-verbal cues.²

Empathy is a lot more complex than just being able to look at things from another’s perspective. It is a skill that helps us to understand not only what that person would do in a given situation, but also why they would do so. The following case serves as an example:

I remember our teacher asking for two volunteers in one of her lectures. After I and Jim sat around the same table opposing each other, she requested us to close our eyes for five seconds. When we opened our eyes, there was a white box in the middle of the table. She asked: “Ok guys, are you ready?” We both nodded. “Ok, so here is the question: What color is the object on the table?” Well, was that it? The answer was so obvious, I couldn’t stop smiling. Jim answered first: “It’s black, Ma’am.” Very surprised with his answer, I responded promptly:

“What?! Are you kidding? It is clearly white… Don’t you see?”
“Nope. It is black, and I think you’d better be quite serious here.”
“Come on, Jim. I can’t believe that you’re saying this. Do you have a problem with your vision? It is white as snow!”
“No way! Do not insist. It is black.”
“No. White!”
“OK guys, easy,” Mrs. Smith interrupted. “Would you please exchange seats now?”

We both started to laugh after we swapped our seats, as it turned out that one side of the box was painted in black and the other in white; we had been insisting without even considering this possibility. Both of us were exclusively right from our own viewpoints; but in fact, we were both correct. This lesson still serves as an exceptional reminder for me to listen, value, and try to understand other people’s opinions.

Hence, solely approaching the situation in a, “If I were him or her…” manner does not completely address the problem, unless one is aware of the other party’s mindset and background. Empathy is the ability to experience another person’s emotions, and expressing and responding to them in a heartfelt way.⁴ That’s why we empathize with the full range of the other person’s experience: sensations, emotions, thoughts, desires, joys, and sorrows; and beyond that, we empathize with the other person’s mind and self.

Due to these aspects, empathy emerges as a quality that joins us together, though it is not an agreement or approval. People can still empathize with someone that they wish would act very differently. For instance, even if an actor has the part of a character that he dislikes, he will act more genuinely to the extent that he can empathize; or a composer will express a theme by heart when she fully empathizes with the song writer…³

Empathy is usually linked to sorrow and conflict. This is why it is frequently confused with sympathy and pity. Sympathy is the feeling of compassion or concern for another; a wish to see them better off or happier. Pity is feeling that another is in trouble and in need of help, as they cannot fix their problems themselves; it is often described as “feeling sorry” for someone.² Empathy, unlike sympathy and pity, can also apply to someone’s positive feelings of success, accomplishment, pride, achievement, etc. A “high five,” for example, shared between friends or between a parent and child, can be a sign of empathy in context of success.²

Empathy involves grasping feelings via nonverbal cues, such as facial expressions or vocal tone. It will provide an instant idea of the inner state of the other person. That is why sensitive people are more likely to notice someone else’s feelings. But, even those who are not naturally sensitive can take steps to show more understanding by not belittling, diminishing, rejecting, judging, or ignoring others. Obviously, even just a simple acknowledgment, even without any real empathy, is much better than totally ignoring someone’s feelings.²

Once how the other person feels is figured out, this awareness is expressed by acknowledging the emotion. Usually, this empathy is communicated in some way – for example, by saying, “I can see you are really uncomfortable about this; I know how it feels.” Or you can display a simple sign of affection, such as a hug or a tender touch, or through body language that mirrors the other person’s.² In addition to conveying considerate messages, this acknowledgment will also yield to positive and constructive interactions among society, as most belief systems value empathy.

Empathy is more important than ever in a globalized world. If we make an effort to understand the emotions and motivations of other people, it will help us to bridge ethnic, national, and religious differences.

Innate and acquired empathy

While the ability to imagine oneself as another person is a sophisticated imaginative process, the basic capacity to recognize emotions is probably innate and may work unconsciously. Toddlers are able to comfort others or show concern for them as early as the age of two. They may pretend in an effort to fool others, which requires that the child knows what others believe before he or she can manipulate those beliefs.¹ In general, adolescents show more empathy than toddlers while adults show more empathy than adolescents. In addition, women tend to be more empathic than men.⁴

Yet, apart from this innate tendency, one may also deliberately engage in empathic reasoning. The ability to empathize can be trained, and it can be achieved with various degrees of intensity or accuracy over time. For example, grasping the beliefs and desires of the other party is also essential to empathy, since emotions are more generally characterized by a combination of beliefs and desires.² Therefore, whether using innate tendencies or deliberate engagement in empathic reasoning, a person may simulate the beliefs, desires, character traits, and context of the other and see what emotional feelings this leads to. Or, a person may imitate the emotional feeling and then look around for a suitable reason for this to fit.²

Whether innate or acquired, empathy has some other side benefits as well. Those who are more empathic tend to be happier, whereas people who remain preoccupied with themselves tend to be unhappy.³ Studies show that students who participated in programs that teach them to be more empathic improved on a number of levels. They tended to do better academically, scored better on tests of higher-order reading comprehension, displayed enhanced creative thinking and critical thinking, showed an increase in pro-social behavior (sharing, cooperation, trust, kindness), and experienced a decrease in bullying and aggression.

Feeling felt

The expression of empathy gives the other person the feeling of being felt; this an essential feeling, from infancy onward. The expression of empathy conveys the vital signal in any communication: “Message received.” This alone can often calm the other person, and help them feel better. And even if there is an upsetting topic on the table, you can still get on with the business at hand with a clearer head.³

When we feel empathy for someone, we are getting emotional information about them and their circumstances. As you get to know others on an emotional level, you are more likely to see similarities between your feelings and basic emotional needs and their needs. You learn to identify with them, to relate to them, and to empathize with them. This higher level of empathy will yield higher degrees of understanding, which then lead to higher levels of compassion.²

Johnny was diagnosed with cancer when he was only 17 years old. He became very angry and refused to talk to anyone. In his mind, this simply wasn’t fair.

When family members tried to console him by talking about his problems, he rejected them. Often he yelled at them. Even with the doctor he had no patience. He stayed in his bedroom for days at a time.

After a few weeks, the minister came by to talk with him. Johnny rejected him too. He barked at the minister, “You don’t know what it’s like.” But the minister responded quietly, “Well actually I do; I have cancer myself.”

At this point, Johnny began to cry. It was as if an emotional barrier had burst into pieces. He spent the next couple hours talking with the minister and found himself accepting his illness. He began feeling better than he had since he was first diagnosed. He had been touched by the minister’s empathy, and had found his own.⁴

Reading about a feeling or intellectually knowing about it is very different than actually experiencing it. If, for example, you have never put your hand in a flame, you will not truly know the pain of fire. Therefore a person, who has experienced a variety of feelings may better empathize with many people from diverse walks of life. When someone “can’t relate” to other people, it is possibly because they haven’t experienced such feelings on their own. Once you have felt discriminated against, for example, it is much easier to relate with someone else who has been discriminated against.²

People are more able and willing to empathize with those most similar to themselves, particularly in terms of culture and living conditions. Levenson and Reuf (1997) and Hoffman (2000) suggest that empathy is more likely to occur between individuals whose interactions are more frequent.² Empathy increases with similarities, and, at this point, it is important to note that, all of us share similar emotional needs such as being acknowledged, loved, respected, feeling safe and supported, being treated fairly – and being trusted, understood, and valued. The wide variations among our needs are mostly differences in degree, rather than in type. For example, we all need to feel some degree of freedom, but one person may need more freedom than another.

Understanding vs. evil suspicion

Empathy does not imply one has an ill-opinion of the other:

Two blind friends were enjoying their lunch from the same plate, which had meatballs on it. One asked the other:

“Hey, don’t rush! Why do you take two meatballs at a time?”

“You are blind, too! How did you know I do that?”

“I know from myself.”

Some psychologists argue that people may serve as mirrors to one another in this sense. Since they assess the world through their own filtering lenses, whoever has evil suspicions may merely be reflecting his or her own inner state onto the other person:

A farmer had lost his shovel. He believed that it was the son of his neighbor next door who stole it and began to scrutinize his every step. He observed the boy walking as a thief, noticed a tone in his speech that “revealed” he was a robber, and thought his face clearly confessed his guilt. Every posture and attribute of the kid was “proving” he’d committed the crime.

Yet, the following day, the farmer found his shovel in his barn where he had carefully left it weeks before. When he looked at the boy that day, surprisingly, he no longer looked like a robber; and there was no sign of theft in his face, nor in his words.

Evil suspicion is obviously injurious to the social relationships in a community, and is thus explicitly disallowed by various teachings:

“O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion, for some suspicion is a grave sin; and do not spy (on one another), nor backbite (against one another)… Keep from disobedience to God in reverence for him and piety.” (Qur’an 49:12)

Along the same lines, in 1993, 143 leaders from different faith traditions and spiritual communities proclaimed, “do not treat people in a way you would not wish to be treated yourself,” as a common principle for many religions.⁵

Think, before you judge

“A person who sees the good in things will have good thoughts; and one who has good thoughts will receive pleasure from life,” Nursi stated. Empathy is not a process that is likely to deliver certain judgments about the emotional states of others. It is a skill that is gradually developed throughout life, and which improves as we have more contact with the person with whom we empathize. Accordingly, any knowledge gained or sensed from the other must be revisable in light of newer information.² The following story encourages us not to rush into immediate judgments:

A woman was waiting at an airport one night with several long hours before her flight. She hunted for a book in the airport shop, bought a bag of cookies, and found a place to sit. She was engrossed in her book but happened to see that the man beside her, as bold as could be, grabbed a cookie or two from the bag between them. She tried to ignore this, to avoid causing a scene. She munched cookies and watched the clock as this gutsy cookie thief diminished her stock.

She was getting more irritated as the minutes ticked by, thinking, “If I wasn’t so nice, I’d blacken his eye.” With each cookie she took, he took one, too. And when only one was left, she wondered what he’d do. With a smile on his face and a nervous laugh, he took the last cookie and broke it in half.

He offered her half as he ate the other. She snatched it from him and thought, “I can’t believe this! This guy has some nerve – and he’s also rude! Why didn’t he even show any gratitude?”

She couldn’t remember the last time she was so galled and sighed with relief when her flight was called. She gathered her belongings and headed for the gate, refusing to look back at the thieving ingrate. She boarded the plane and sank in her seat. Then she sought her book, which was almost complete. As she reached in her baggage, she gasped with surprise: there was her bag of cookies. “If mine are here,” she moaned with despair, “then the others were his and he tried to share.”

Too late to apologize, she realized with grief, “that she was the rude one, the ungrateful, the thief.”

At times, people can be overconfident, which limits objective recognition. This confidence can be so great that they do not even consider the possibility they might be at fault. Imagine explaining the story from the angle of the man whose cookies were eaten. Had he not possessed some empathy, the situation could have been a lot different. Although many people are inclined to blame others for the problems they complain about, they may well have their own share in the problems; one should question their own errors before going after anyone else’s. The later the reality is realized, the more likely we are to miss the chance for potential healing.

To wrap up, empathy helps us connect with one another at a deep level. It is an essential skill to understand the needs and expectations of our friends and neighbors – and even our enemies. It helps us to become more social.⁴ Furthermore, empathy is crucial for diverse social environments in all its forms – in character and values as well as in ethnicity, religion, class, and so on.³ For instance, the management of a diverse business/education/community setting can address the needs of the people involved better by employing an empathic approach. Or, an interfaith dialogue effort will be more fruitful when parties utilize empathy in their interactions, rather than solely gathering theoretical knowledge about other faith traditions and their members.

Empathy in the sense of mutual understanding, as suggested by various teachings, is a key social remedy. It is an important trait that is worth cultivating. It is at the root of kindness, compassion, understanding, and respect – qualities that we all appreciate being shown, whoever we are, whatever we think, and wherever we come from. Despite all of us having our unique life experiences, and although it is impossible to be another person, imagining what would cause other to suffer or be happy should not be difficult. Wouldn’t you agree?

Notes

¹ Nursi, Said. The Gleams (The Twenty-first Gleam), NJ: The Light, Inc. p. 229.

² http://eqi.org/empathy.htm

³ http://www.rickhanson.net/wp-content/files/Empathy.pdf

⁴ http://www.upperbay.org/articles/empathy.pdf

⁵ Some examples to this principle in different faith traditions are listed at http://www.unification.net/ws/theme015.htm

“Good grades pay off literally. Teachers have long said that success is its own reward. But these days, some students are finding that good grades can bring them cash and luxury gifts… Baltimore schools chief Andres Alonso last week promised to spend more than $935,000 to give high school students as much as $110 each to improve their scores on state graduation exams… The most ambitious experiment began in September, when seven states-Arkansas, Alabama, Connecticut, Kentucky, Massachusetts, Virginia and Washington-won spots in an Exxon/Mobil-funded program that, in most cases, pays students $100 for each passing grade on advanced placement (AP) college-prep exams.” (USA Today, 01/27/2008)

The above is just one example of how some educators have developed additional incentives to motivate their students in hopes of them increasing their performance in school. A majority of students have gone through educational systems in which such rewards are present, albeit not as extreme as in the example above. In such systems, money, student awards, honorary degrees or advanced placement opportunities aim to improve student performance and motivation toward meeting expected goals through increased competition. Some of these rewards may not be tangible: simple praise, public appreciation and positive feedbacks are examples of intangible or verbal rewards. Both tangible and intangible rewards are advocated and implemented by many educators. Today they constitute a crucial part of our educational system. The reasoning behind rewarding or praising students is simple: If one reinforces a behavior by bestowing a reward for it, it is believed that behavior is more likely to be developed and maintained by the recipients of the reward, but is this really the case?

Some psychologists, known as behaviorists, believe that human nature is utilitarian: behaviors are influenced by their consequences. The use of reinforcement and punishment to control and manipulate human behavior reflects this view. The former allows educators to increase the likelihood of a behavior, while the latter is employed to decrease its likelihood. They argue that one can improve and nurture a particular behavior through reinforcement. An educator with a behaviorist point of view, therefore, believes that learning can be achieved in part by reinforcing desired behaviors with rewards, medals, degrees, grades or praises.

Even though these concepts have been valued and applied widely by many educators for decades, there are some psychologists and educators that do not agree with the current use of either tangible or verbal rewards for educational purposes. Their reasoning is based in part on motivation theory. According to motivation theory, people are motivated by either extrinsic or intrinsic drives. Extrinsic motivation is defined as any reinforcement to support, develop or maintain a behavior provided by external conditions, such as rewarding a student with money or an award. Intrinsic motivation, in contrast, implies doing an activity for its own sake because it is inherently interesting or enjoyable. The most important distinction between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation lies in their source: an internal (intrinsic) versus external (extrinsic) source of motivation. Money, praise, awards or promotions are examples of external motivators, which are used to nurture some behaviors, while inner willingness and ambition, are sources of intrinsic motivation (Ryan & Deci, 2000).

There are educators who advocate motivation theory but disagree with the idea of rewarding their students since they believe that external rewards undermine intrinsic motivation. As students are extrinsically rewarded, they are more likely to lose their intrinsic motivation to sustain their behavior. Empirical studies have shown that students who did not receive any tangible rewards previously will begin to associate their behavior to rewards they have been given, eventually leading students to neglect performing an activity for its own sake when there is no reward present.

Amabile, Hennesey and Grossman (1986) examined the influence of rewards and perceptions of activity on creativity. In their study, children were rewarded with the opportunity to take pictures with instant cameras after they completed a task requiring creativity. For young children this reward was pretty attractive. The perception of the activity was manipulated by calling the activity “play,” “work” or by not specifying its nature. They found that children with the perception of play but without the promise of a reward showed a higher degree of creative performance than other children who were promised a reward. It appears that the “label” of the activity and the existence of rewards influences the creative performance of children. Another phenomenon considered in this study was the variation of the children’s behavior in activities in which they were given choice and no choice at all. The authors showed that in activities where participants were not given options, rewarded participants outperformed non-rewarded participants while non-rewarded participants were superior to rewarded participants in choice situations. There were three educational implications discovered as a result of this study:

1. The way a teacher presents an activity or responsibility counts! The presentation of an activity as “play” is correlated with higher performance than if it is presented as “work” or if its nature is not specified.
2. Rewards may undermine activities requiring intrinsic motivation. Intrinsic motivation is important for creativity. Biographies of inventors show that inventions are the result of perennial attempts and thus require a high degree of intrinsic motivation. Therefore, educators need to think twice about whether rewarding their students encourages or suppresses creativity in a given situation.
3. Rewards are detrimental when people have intrinsically chosen to do something, but not necessarily when an action is required of them. This point leaves some room for rewarding students. A good portion of the educational curriculum might be outside of students’ interests. For those kinds of activities, rewards may work to motivate them to participate in these activities, however, if students choose an activity, and if they have already had the motivation to do it, rewards will most likely not improve their performance.

This study shows that educators need to answer the following three questions before deciding whether rewards should be used:

1. Do the students already have intrinsic motivation to complete this activity?
2. Did the students choose to complete this activity?
3. Has someone else already asked or encouraged them to complete this activity?

Another study by Mueller and Dweck (1998) revealed the influence of praise on performance. In a culture of appreciation, praise is expected to encourage people and motivate them to be more successful. This study questions whether praising students is necessary and how praise can affect students. The authors of this study designed six experiments to examine the effects of praise for intelligence and praise for effort and how they influenced the participants. The authors discovered that when praising students for their intelligence the students’ achievements and motivation were lower than those students who were praised for their effort. Children whose intelligence was praised cared more about performance goals while children whose effort was praised cared more about learning. Moreover, the students whose intelligence was praised displayed lower levels of task persistence and enjoyment, increased low-ability attributions, and worse task performance when they experienced failure than children praised for their effort. Another crucial result of the study concerns the concept of intelligence. The same group of students, who were praised for their intelligence, considered their intelligence to be a fixed trait whereas the other group considered it a flexible trait. While the first group (students who were praised for their intelligence) tried to look smart even by sacrificing learning, the second group (students who were praised for effort) attempted to learn new things even if doing so was difficult or risky. Another interesting result was in the discrepancy in performance between the two groups of students when they encountered difficulty in their tasks. The study found that the performance of the students in the first group was impaired in comparison to the second group whose performance increased.

Considering the controversy surrounding rewarding versus not rewarding, the authors of this study focused on the issue of “what to praise.” Praising some traits such as intelligence, ability or creativity might be detrimental for the traits’ continuity in students while praise for endeavoring towards utilizing their intelligence; creativity or any other ability appears to increase the likelihood of learning. This issue raises some serious questions about the current practices of gifted education. Today, most education systems in the United States and other countries “identify” gifted students through tests and other means of determining intelligence, some even group students in separate classes. These students are well aware why they are being treated in this way. In other words, the system itself is continuously providing implicit rewards for the students identified as gifted. From Dweck’s point of view, this policy would impair learning because the student’s performance is not rewarded, while their “intelligence” is.

Another important question raised in this study is the “appropriate time of rewarding.” In research by Kamins and Dweck (1999), the influence of praise and criticism was observed in several ways: when directed variously toward the person performing an activity, toward the process of the activity itself, and toward the activity’s outcome. In their research some of the participants were praised with “I’m very proud of you”; some as “That’s the right way to do it,” whereas others were told: “You found a good way to do it, can you think of other ways that may also work?” When these groups were compared, the researchers found that the process-praised group was superior in rating the products of their work in comparison to the outcome-praised group. It was also noticed in that participants that were members of the process-praised group had increased self-esteem and were more persistent than the other groups. Those findings were the same when criticism was used in place of praise. The lesson to take from this research is clear: we should provide feedback, praise or criticism, about the process rather than the person and the end product.

There are other side effects of rewarding students. When we reward, we actually teach two different things in a very subtle way. First, we teach the student to do something for the purpose of another thing rather than for its own sake. Second, we teach the student not to do anything for free. Both of these have important drawbacks: we kill their enthusiasm and intrinsic motivation because they have been given another reason to do their activities and we implicitly redirect their valuation to external things that then could cause them to undervalue the task itself. This means that they will no longer repeat the same behavior when the rewards are discontinued. There is a paradox here. On the one hand, behaviorist psychologists defined learning as an overt change in behavior. Since the behavior (or learning) fades away later along with the rewards, we cannot argue that rewards did make a permanent influence on behavior. On the other hand, by using these methods we teach students to be independent individuals who do not care about others. Especially in today’s conditions, when many jobless, homeless, and hungry people are trying to survive all around the world, self-centered individualism should not be the desired outcome of education. Infusing people with seemingly innocent notions of “money talks” or “There ain’t no such thing as a free lunch,” might function as a rationale for unethical and socially irresponsible behaviors. Educators should not bolster a self-centered individualism by excessively rewarding students. Such rewarding may contribute to the kind of irresponsibility that allows for the kinds of unwise decisions that lead us to the current recession.

The overall point that I have advocated in this article is not an argument strictly against rewarding. Rather, knowing more about the individual, the conditions, and possible consequences related to rewards are vital for an effective education. How can this be achieved? An example is the treatment of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) toward a child who was making fun of the Adhan (the Muslim call to prayer). He approached one of them and praised one of them by saying, “What a beautiful voice that you have.” Caressing his hair, he continued by asking the boy “Would you mind to give the call to the prayer in the masjid with such a beautiful voice?” He took the child to the masjid and this child, known as Abu Mansura, later became a well-known muezzin (the individual who makes the Muslim call to prayer). This example stands as evidence of the importance of rewarding. On the other hand, in traditional Sufi thought, the purpose of praying and good works is not merely entering Heaven or avoiding Hell, instead, acquiring the acceptance and approval of God is seen as the ultimate goal for a person. Such a purpose may not apply to everyone, because the majority of people may need a tangible reward to do something, just like majority of students want to achieve a certain goal primarily in order to gain rewards, however, higher levels of spirituality can be developed toward an overarching goal that can be achieved by only a select few. Therefore, these two examples do not in fact conflict. The messages derived from educational and psychological literature, as well as religious teachings, seems to converge, even though rewards may help most people to perform better, rewarding is not helpful and even detrimental to a minority group of people who already display high levels of motivation and ambition to achieve.

As a result, rewarding is not necessarily helpful or detrimental. Educators should give up applying their ready-made methods to all students. Ideally, intrinsically motivated students should not receive external rewards because this would switch their focus to material prizes. When needed, educators should try to provide feedback directed toward the process rather than the outcome or the person. Also, they should foster student’s efforts rather than their ability. The decision about rewarding should be based on knowledge regarding the person to be rewarded, the target or direction, and even the timing of the reward. Otherwise, for some individuals the rewards might produce an effect diametrically opposed to its intended purpose.

References

• Skinner, B. F. 1953, Science and Human Behavior. New York: The Free Press.
• Kamins, M. L. & Dweck, C. S. 1999. “Person versus process praise and criticism: Implications for contingent self-worth and coping.” Developmental Psychology, 35, 835-847.
• Mueller, C. M. and Dweck, C. S. 1998. “Intelligence praise can undermine motivation and performance.” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 75, 33-52.
• Ryan, R. M. & Deci, E. L. (2000). “Intrinsic and Extrinsic Motivations: Classic Definitions and New Directions.” Contemporary Educational Psychology, 25, 54-67.
• Amabile, T. M., Hennessey, B. A. & Grossman, B. S. (1986). “Social Influences on Creativity: The Effects of Contracted-For Reward.” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 50, 14-23.

“Why is my child not interested in learning?” “What makes my child not want to go to school? Why does my child say learning is boring?” “Why is he/she showing higher results in one subject than in another?” “Why does he/she no longer enjoy English?” These are just some of the questions which arise with concerned parents when their children demonstrate a lack of interest in studying both at home or at school. Some parents have opted for home schooling, others have their children join breakfast clubs, sports clubs or after-school creative clubs as a means to enhance their child’s thinking and stimulate interest in them for learning. God Almighty urges us in chapters of the Holy Qur’an to spread knowledge and not to conceal it.

He also speaks of children in numerous verses with regards to their upbringing and welfare. The first verse which was revealed to the Prophet pronounced powerfully “IQRA” meaning “READ”; this again emphasizes the power of knowledge for a human being to attain success in both worlds. It was narrated by Ibn Masud “The Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, would take care of us by preaching at a suitable time so that we would not become weary. He abstained from pestering us with religious talk and knowledge all the time.”1 The Prophet said, “The pen has been lifted from three: the child until he reaches puberty, the insane until he is cured and the one who is sleeping until he awakens.”2 We are commanded to be mild and loving towards children. Give instructions gently to make things easy. It takes time for the child to understand what you’re saying and to respond correctly.

But remember a child is not accountable for their actions so be patient while they respond to you in their own time. Children differ from one another in intelligence and comprehension. Some can be corrected by a mere stern glance and others need to be scolded firmly. But we should never stop following the advice of the Prophet Muhammad who said “Those who do not show mercy to our young are not from us.”3 A child is won with tenderness, mildness, and love. Let us now look at some of the reasons why our children may display a lack of interest in learning. Sometimes the reasons can be obvious; maybe the parents do not have the time to interact with homework tasks and the children struggle without this assistance, or maybe there is far too many distractions in the environment, so the child finds it hard to concentrate. But there can also be hidden pressures; perhaps the child does not like a particular subject, or finds it difficult to understand it, or does not enjoy writing or arithmetic. Some times a change of routine or a new teacher can affect the child, peer pressure or lack of confidence can also result in a lack of interest in studying at school or at home. The important question is how do we, as parents or education workers, draw the child’s attention to learning and generate joy and satisfaction in them? The early years of a child’s life are of utmost importance and play a crucial role in determining every child’s future. Brain research has confirmed that the experiences children undergo in the first five years of life form vital connections in the brain. These connections lay the foundation for all later learning and social/emotional development. Children develop at individual rates; therefore, variations in development are to be expected. Professional education workers come in contact with children from a variety of linguistic and cultural backgrounds. This includes children who are learning a language that is different to their native language. New guidelines provide extra activities to meet these children’s needs. Sometimes boys perform less well than girls and a survey report back in July of 2003 by the Office for Standards in Education in

Britain published two reports on methods schools can use to raise achievement among boys. They found that macho peer pressure remains a key reason why boys underperform in comparison to girls in nearly all subjects, except for maths and science. They also found that boys were more affected than girls by how interesting the lessons are. Teachers who were best at motivating boys were those who used humor and real life situations. Children with extra special needs and those who have a short concentration span will not settle at one activity for more than 5 to 10 minutes. Their needs are different from other children, and thus there are curriculum guidelines that help them with appropriate learning. Spending time with your child through the process of playing or completing homework is a key opportunity for interaction and establishes confidence and motivation for the child to learn; we must not forget that children are learning all the time and not just at schools. Tips to encourage motivation Therefore, the following top ten tips are useful in encouraging motivation in your child:

1. Nurture your child’s interest by providing opportunities for them to explore and learn about their interests, be they dinosaurs, stars, or flowers.

2. Expose your child to new ideas and areas by participating in community programs and not just school programs. It is important not to single out traditionally female activities or male activities, as it is the child’s interests that are important.

3. Attempt using short term goals and rewards since sometimes a child becomes overwhelmed by a large task. It is not that the task is difficult in itself, but the child may feel nervous, fearful or confused, resulting in a need for more time or input to understand the concept better. A child will sometimes abandon a task they even begin to try, so it is best to help your child break the task down into a series of smaller tasks. Also allow children to set their own weekly targets which they can reward themselves for completing.

4. Help your child learn to arrange time as when they start to go to school some may learn quickly and easily at different levels or stages of learning, but others may not. However later on, they will need to know how to independently set time aside to complete certain tasks.

5. Praise your child’s efforts since some children have trouble connecting personal effort to achievement. To help a child succeed, efforts should be praised at every success and the praise should be specific. So rather than saying “you could have done that better,” you could say “you tried your best and worked hard.”

6. Help your child take control; underachievers sometimes see achievement as something that isbeyond their control and this makes them feel as if all their efforts are pointless. The child needs to understand the role personal responsibility plays through success.

7. Keep a positive attitude about school because children need to see that their parents value education. Even if a child’s problems in school are a result of a problem with the schools or the teacher, you need to be careful about what you say and when.

8. Help your child make a connection between their schoolwork and their interests. Sometimes children lack motivation because they cannot make a connection between the work they are being asked to do and their goals and interests. For example, a child who wants to be an astronaut should know that maths and science are important in these jobs. However, under-motivated children generally do not focus on anything but the present. They cannot plan ahead for the near future, so rarely reflect on adult life or ambitions.

9. Turn homework into games as most children love a challenge, particularly with a familiar person whom they trust. Sometimes, dull homework can be turned into something excited like a challenging game. Checking children’s work shows them you care about it. Another creative approach to homework is to link it to an interest or encourage them to mark it for themselves.

10. Adults should keep in mind that motivation is not always about school achievement and that it is important to note that some children are highly motivated to achieve goals, even if the goals are unrelated to school. Remember achievement is NOT motivation. It is therefore very important to know that while you may get your child to get the homework done, he or she may never be truly motivated to do it. So what is the difference between the two; what is motivation? Motivation is a temporal and dynamic state that should not be confused with personality or emotion. Motivation is having the desire and the willingness to do something. A motivated person can be aiming at a long–term goal, such as becoming a professional writer, or a more short-term goal like learning how to spell a particular word. Attention from a pupil is necessary and essential for learning and this gives a student a feeling of self worth and makes them want to exert effort. If a teacher can secure the interest of the pupil and the student does the work assigned, and if the work holds their attention, the interest is maintained. There are two kinds of interest, the positive and the negative. When a student has a positive interest in learning, they are getting value because there is something they want to obtain. But if they only have a negative interest, they may still learn a small portion of what is being taught, but not as much as if they were to have a positive interest. The student needs to have a desire of their own to learn and learning should be a result of this, not of outside pressure. They will strive to learn if their interest is positive. If a child is interested in a subject, a wise teacher or parent can make use of this interest. They can work towards maintaining this motivation for learning. But before an adult can hold a child’s interest, they need to have an understanding of how the interest is obtained and how purposes that cause an appetite for learning develop in individuals. A person’s daily life, their character and their personality all determine their drive for learning. This interest can lead them to take action and want to acquire knowledge. There is also a need for a desire to be active; if a person is lazy, they will not have desires or urges to learn. A student also needs to have a desire for approval from their parents, teachers and peers. They need to have a desire to have a feeling of accomplishment, as this will lead them to seek more and more knowledge. They need to feel proud about their personal accomplishments.

We have not been able to mention all the desires that lead to motivation and learning here, but we have touched upon a few of the primary desires. Some parents may feel they do not know the best way to keep their child motivated with the same joy and satisfaction away from school and at home. Parents can worry over this, but it is comforting to know that a simple activity, such as a trip to the park or library or a small activity such as cooking or planting with your child can be interactive, fun, enjoyable and always a creative part of learning. Talking to your child’s teacher or other parents in similar situations is always encouraging and you may pick up tips for new steps that will help bring enthusiasm to your child’s education. At the present time we are fortunate to have easy and affordable resources and free websites which help parents to understand this topic better and which provide step-by-step guidelines on how to generate the joy of learning in kids. The curriculum in schools is continuously reviewed and updated to be a friendly and interesting framework of teaching and learning, with interaction between teachers and students across the globe.

Notes

1. Muslim 1:68.
2. Tirmidhi, Hudud, 1; Nasai, Hudud, 17.
3. Tirmidhi, Birr, 15.