I have recently been very intrigued about moods, specifically how our moods biologically change. The processes behind why we get happy, sad, or angry are integral to our existence, and having some insight into how exactly they come about could help us grow immensely. 

In my search for answers, I discovered Dr. Masaru Emoto (d. 2014), a Japanese scientist that had dedicated his life to studying water. Dr. Emoto’s studies claim that thoughts, feelings, words, ideas, music, and even names affect the molecular structure of water and thus our physical reality. During his study, Dr. Emoto discovered that water droplets that had been repeatedly exposed to positive or negative words, profoundly changed the water’s color, shape, and symmetry.

His first experiment involved putting distilled water into small jars, writing a word or short phrase on a label, and then taping that label to each jar. The jars were then left overnight on their own. Some of these words had positive associations such as “self-love,” “beauty,” “passion,” and “happiness.” Other jars had negative associations such as “evil,” “hatred,” or phrases such as “you disgust me.” Each jar then had a small amount of water flash frozen in order to form crystals, which were then observed under a microscope. The results were astonishing; the positive words formed beautiful, symmetrical crystals that looked very similar to snowflakes while the negative words were discolored, chaotic, and fragmented.

His revolutionary findings were published in his book, The Hidden Message in Water. However, Dr. Emoto’s work was met with criticism, skepticism, and confusion. Other commentators were concerned that Dr. Emoto did not do enough to share his approaches or provide sufficient evidence for his experiments.

He decided to take the experiments a step further and wanted to see what would happen to a large amount of water over an extended period of time. His famous “Rice Experiment” involved putting the same amount of rice in three different jars and then adding the same amount of distilled water into the jars. He then closed the jars and labeled each jar with a different word. On the first jar, he labeled it with the phrase “Thank You”; the second jar with the phrase “You are an idiot”; and the third jar was left with a blank label. Every day, for 30 days, he visited each jar and read aloud their corresponding label to the jar for one minute and tracked the changes in each jar over the month. By the end of the month, he had noticed that the water in the jar labeled “Thank you” had started to ferment, giving off a strong, pleasant aroma. The water in the jar that was labeled “You are an idiot” turned black with an unpleasant shape. The most interesting result, in my opinion, was the last jar with the blank label that had been ignored the entire time. It turned into a nasty green-blue color as opposed to staying near its original color. His results were consistent with his previous experiments with smaller jars, and it appeared that there was a trend. I was astounded by these discoveries and could hardly believe it, so I decided to try it for myself. My daughter and I did the same experiment as a part of her science fair project. To our amazement, we got very similar results within just 19 days. This experiment was a great lesson regarding the impact that our words have on others for my children beyond being just a science fair project. 

Dr. Emoto concluded his findings by stating that water is a “blueprint for our reality” and that emotional “energies” and “vibrations” could change the physical structure of water. It is imperative to remember that water is life; about 70% of the human body, and almost two thirds of the world, is made up of water. Therefore, everything happening around us, our thoughts, our attitudes, our behaviors, and our intentions are related to each other and can affect our emotions. Scientists still need to figure out how exactly these changes in water may affect our bodies and our world, but the results are clear for all to see.

This puts more responsibility on our shoulders to be responsible human beings. We should always think, speak, and act positively if we also want our surrounding environments to be positive.

There is also a great lesson in this study for teachers and educators. We teachers come across a variety of students at various ages all throughout the school year. Our interactions with them can have a very real impact on their lives, minds, and futures for better or worse. Every year we are given around 25 jars of rice with water, to represent 25 students, in each class with no label on them. We meet with them at the beginning of the year with no bias towards any of them. They are each a perfectly clean slate in our eyes, a new jar of distilled water and rice waiting to either ferment or rot. We then, consciously or subconsciously, label them in our minds and hearts; the students labeled “jar 1” receive praise and compliments; some students are labeled “jar 2” and are told that they will fail or are troublemakers; while the last group is labeled “jar 3” and is largely ignored due to their own shyness and/or our indifference. If you are a teacher or interact with children on a consistent basis, it is more than likely you already had hundreds or thousands of jars by now and now you can ask yourself that how many of them finished the year in better shape than the beginning of the year. How many of them were labeled as “jar 1”,”jar 2” or “jar 3”? When I close my eyes and think about all the years I taught, I am not sure if I was able to treat all the jars with positive attitude.

I believe everyone had an experience about how our tone of talk or our answers changed the heat of the discussion. As stated in the Bible, “a soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger” (Proverbs 15:1). Sometimes a simple small word could change your life completely in a positive way or a negative way. Our modes, attitudes and the language we use, impact the people around us and most of the time we are not fully aware of its extent.

Both positive and negative thinking or thoughts are contagious. When we see cheerful friends around us, we feel our days a bit brighter, or we feel down when we talk to grumpy people. Positive attitudes, positive thinking and positive thoughts do change our lives. Bediuzzaman Said Nursi put it well: “A person who sees the good in things develop good thoughts. And he who has good thoughts receives pleasure from life.” People who can develop positive thinking will more likely have a healthy, happy, and successful life, and they can overcome struggles more easily. If you want to have a healthy, good looking, warm environment that is productive and gives a pleasant time, you need to use positive, encouraging and soft language to make it happen. It is in our hands to improve our world with love and gratitude.

Positive thoughts lead to good feelings, good deeds, and diminish negativity, make our hearts delighted. Whereas negative thoughts generate bad feelings, hatred, jealousy, anger, depression, stress, and negative emotions which cloud our soul and lead to an unhealthy life. To be able to stay healthy emotionally and psychologically we have to immediately turn ourselves to positive thinking when we feel we are surrounded with negativities. The Prophet Muhammad, the Messenger of God (peace be upon him) said “Follow a bad deed with a good deed and it will erase it.” We may not have full control initially over the types of thoughts that cross our minds every moment, however we have the ability to ignore or pursue them as prescribed by the Prophet, peace be upon him: “Whoever believes in God and the Last Day, let him speak good or remain silent.”

References

● https://www.masaru-emoto.net

● Beyond Words Publishing www.beyondword.com.

● https://hado.com/ihm/water-crystals/

● Source: Sunan al-Tirmidhī 1987, Grade: Sahih

● Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 6110, Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi

● https://www.csicop.org/specialarticles/show/a_grain_of_truth_recreating_dr._emotos_rice_experiment

● Gray, Donna (July 26, 2003). “Message in the water.”Calgary Herald. p. S8. Retrieved 2019-04-21 – via ProQuest..

Question: Is having bad opinion of others actually self-inflicting?

Answer: “When you hear a man say, ‘The people are ruined,’ he himself is the most ruined of them all.”[1] Since this blessed statement is a pithy one, it conveys many truths. One of the truths conveyed by this saying by Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, pertains to making false assumptions or having bad opinions about others. Vilifying others, even to the degree of declaring them to be ruined, almost always stems from such false assumptions. However, the noble Prophet points out that the one who makes such sinful statements is actually the most ruined one.

Those who idolize their ego seek others to blame

The underlying motive behind such invective is egotism, ego-centrism, and even narcissism. If a person is vilifying everybody and finding faults in them, it means that they are idolizing themselves unawares. A person devoid of positive thinking but fixed on negative thoughts can even use their false assumptions to criticize very important acts of worship by others, questioning their sincerity in their prayers.

Such a thought should be accosted by the Prophet’s warning, “Did you cleave his heart open to check it out?”[2] We cannot know anyone’s heart. A person who seems to neglectfully observe prayer may actually be observing it with deep feeling. Viewing others’ acts of worship with bias and assuming them to be sanctimonious is a terrible form of false assumption. Such a false assumption may cause a person to end up in utter spiritual loss. God Almighty forbids baseless suspicions, in a definite and clear fashion, with the following Divine decree: “O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion, for some suspicion is a grave sin (liable to God’s punishment); and do not spy (on one another…)” (al-Hujurat 49:12).

While considering others, it is always necessary to view them in a positive light, as far as there is a possible basis for it. Even if a person has only one aspect that allows positive thinking, one must still take it and avoid negative thinking. On the other hand, while viewing ourselves, we must be self-critical to the degree of worrying about the possibility of having spoilt our good deeds by showing off.

Someone who outwardly seems to have a weak connection with God, owing to poor observance of individual worship, can be someone who always speaks truthfully in interpersonal relations and never lies. We must interpret this attitude of theirs as a result of their God-consciousness and say, “Given that this person is so scrupulous about refraining from lying, then they must have a very strong relation with God.”

Similarly, imagine a person who is very vigilant against unlawful gain, does not even eat a forbidden morsel, and refuses to take an undeserved payment for a task they did not carry out. This person’s behaviors are so praiseworthy that one can only assume his or her special connection with the Divine.

Balance: think positively, but with caution

If we refrain from going to extremes but seek the ideal conduct on this matter, we must never disregard the following principle: for those people whose ups and downs we witness, we should still think positively, but with caution. If the person we view with positive thoughts occasionally strays from the line of uprightness, then they may not be a mature and perfect person, as we see them to be. In this respect, even if we entertain positive thoughts about that certain person, we should not fail to act cautiously about certain issues, such as giving them some vital responsibilities or entrusting them with very important tasks. However, we should know that even in such a case, we do not have the right to adopt statements that convey negative thoughts while giving an account of that person. We cannot say things like, “I do not have much trust in such and such person; they are not really trustworthy.”

While viewing others we should think that even the simplest deeds can be a means of salvation for them. We should overlook their faults and avoid speaking negatively about them. A particular example from the time of the noble Prophet provides important lessons to believers in this respect.

In the early period of the prohibition of alcohol, one Companion was caught drunk many times and was severely reprimanded. Once, he was brought to the presence of the Messenger of God, peace and blessings be upon him, and reprimanded for the same offense. One of those present reacted to him with words like, “May God curse you! What a bad person you are! How many times it has been, and you are still brought to his presence like this?”

Upon hearing this, the noble Prophet said, “Do not speak like this; do not help Satan against your brother with such words. I swear by God, he loves God and His Messenger very much!”[3] So we should constantly view others through this perspective of the Messenger of God, peace and blessings be upon him.

Positive thinking: a very beautiful form of worship

One must especially avoid making false assumptions when considering the volunteers devoted to serving for the sake of faith and the Qur’an—those who have a relationship with God, His Messenger, and the Qur’an. A believer must heed the following warning of the Messenger of God, peace and blessings be upon him:

“Whoever shames his brother for a sin, he shall not die until he (himself) commits it.”[4] In this respect, one should be fearful, shaking in anguish with the consideration, “I saw such negative things in certain persons, but what if others see such things in me, my spouse, or my children?”

A real believer must be careful with his thoughts about others, no matter who they are. A real believer must act cautiously. As it is known, tayaqquz, which means being ever-vigilant, is the first step of spiritual journeying. A believer must always walk on the path of God with open eyes, channel his thoughts in the positive way as much as possible, and must definitely not commit the sin of false assumption. In addition, the noble Prophet points to positive thinking as a lofty horizon, stating that, “Entertaining good thoughts stem from a person’s good worship.”[5]

Together with positive thinking we should not fail to act cautiously and build barriers against those who take delight in biting others like poisonous snakes and are continually trying to cause harm. However, acting cautiously in this respect should not stop you from praying to God to grant guidance to those who devise various conspiracies against you.

In the face of the mistreatment and oppressions you go through, God has granted you the possibility of a different preference. If you wish, it is possible for you to say, “My God, please vanquish them, shatter their alliances, bring their schemes to nothing, and let them fall into their own traps!” Saying all of these is your right, in accordance with the judgment of the verse, “If you have to respond to any wrong, respond (only) to the measure of the wrong done to you” (an-Nahl 16:126). If somebody is oppressing you, preparing different conspiracies against you, or setting traps against you, it will be your lawful right to make moves to reverse these. Together with that, the verse continues, “but if you endure patiently, it is indeed better for the patient…,” and states that even in terms of personal rights, it is better for you to show patience and not give up gentlemanliness.

Footnotes

[1] Sahih Muslim, Birr, 139; Sunan Abu Dawud, Adab, 77; Imam Malik, Al-Muwatta, Kalam, 2.

[2] Sahih al-Bukhari, Maghazi, 45; Sahih Muslim, Iman, 158.

[3] Sahih al-Bukhari, Hudud, 4-5; Abdurrazzaq, Al-Musannaf, 7/381, 9/246.

[4] Sunan at-Tirmidhi, Sifatu’l-Qiyamah, 53; Tabarani, Al-Mu’jam al-Awsat, 7/191.

[5] Sunan Abu Dawud, Adab, 81; Ahmad ibn Hanbal, Al-Musnad, 2:297.

Yet fear of imminent calamities, unspeakable catastrophes, is rarely absent; the horrors of individual and collective destruction are never remote. (Brombert 2010)

One of the important details that many scholars focus on in Woolf’s “Mrs. Dalloway” is that she has many secrets awaiting to be revealed through her real life experiences (Gay 2002). This is similar to Nursi’s real time experiences, and indicates that both can be continually studied by evolving modern and postmodern ideologies (Hardy 2011).

Socio-economic background

Both Nursi and Woolf worked in a time, post World War I, of deep socio-economic uncertainty. Faced with the ruins of one war, and the threat of another, society was wracked by spiritual, moral, and psychology turmoil. The Great War for civilizations was turning into “disenchantment” (Panichas 2004). In England, the male population had been damaged by the war. The war veteran, Septimus Warren Smith, who commits suicide and symbolizes the pessimistic side of Woolf in “Mrs. Dalloway” is reflected as the duplicate of Clarissa Dalloway and represents the lower class of English society of that time:

More British soldiers died in World War I than in any other British conflict. Under the best of circumstances, this burden would have been difficult to bear, but other factors increased the psychological and emotional damage. (Bethea 2010)

As such, women were starting to go to work in traditionally male fields and were mobilizing for equal rights. Woolf, herself a feminist writer, advocated for women’s equality and suffrage.

While Woolf was firmly entrenched in the English middle class, Said Nursi, on the other hand, lived a mobile life in rural Anatolia and Istanbul. He had been exiled for writing the “Risale-i Nur,” through which he struggled against ignorance and obstacles to socio-economic and spiritual welfare. Freedom of conscience was under assault in Turkey at the time (Yavuz 1999). Nursi devoted his life to answering the questions of western science and philosophy with revelations from the Qur’an, and reconciling them with more spiritual thought.

Psychological background

Psychology serves as a science, not only for corporal healing, but also to help people reach happiness, an inner-state of tranquility. However, psychology, as a positive subjective experience of science, has been restricted and described as a devotee of prevention from pathological illnesses, especially when confronted with despair or pessimism about the meaningfulness of life. Authors like Mongarin, Csikszentmihalyi, and Hershbenger eagerly clung on the idea of reorientation of psychology, as a science, to its two main missions of evaluating normal people and actualizing the high human potential (Mongrain 2012, Csikszentmihalyi 2009, and Hershbenger 2005). The dominance of pathology resulted in a model of the human being that is lacking positive concepts like hope, wisdom, creativity, courage, spirituality, responsibility, and perseverance, which are essential for one’s well-being. Such values were ignored or defined as mere transformations of authentic negative impulses (Seligman et al 2000).

Septimus, who suffers from a very serious mental problem caused by the shock of war, in which he lost his closest friend and many others, loses his belief in the doctor that diagnosed him with “lack of proportion.” Due to these traumas and lack of faith, he commits suicide at the end of the novel. Woolf, through Clarissa, also has negative feelings about doctors, thus showing sympathy for Septimus Warren Smith:

She felt somehow very like him-the young man who had killed himself. She felt glad that he had done it; thrown it away. The clock was striking. The leaden circles dissolved in the air. He made her feel the beauty; made her feel the fun. But she must go back. She must assemble. (Woolf 1925)

Themes, symbols, and motifs

Optimism vs. pessimism

Clarissa starts the day with fresh thoughts of livelihood as she heads to the florist:

For Heaven only knows why one loves it so, how one sees it so, making it up, building it round one, tumbling it, creating it every moment afresh; but the veriest frumps, the most dejected of miseries sitting on doorsteps (drink their downfall) do the same; can’t be dealt with, she felt positive, by Acts of Parliament for that very reason: they love life. (Woolf 1925)

These lines reflect how joyful her thoughts are, as depicted by Woolf in Dalloway’s stream of consciousness. However, the same person gets very depressed as she later finds it difficult to bear life one more day:

She had a perpetual sense, as she watched the taxi cabs, of being out, out, far out to sea and alone; she always had the feeling that it was very, very dangerous to live even one day. (Woolf 1925)

Nursi also uses natural elements to infer implications of depression and pessimism if one was to see the landscape we live in with limited visions, as he narrated the story of the prophet Jonah, who was believed to be swallowed by a big fish and had to endure darkness and loneliness. This was redemption for leaving his people, who had strayed from God.

Our night is the future. When we look upon our future with heedlessness towards our religious responsibilities, it is a hundred times darker and more fearful than his (Jonah’s) night. Our seas is this moving, unstable earth. Each wave of this sea bears on its thousands of dead bodies, and so is a thousand times more frightening than his sea. Our fish consists of the lusts and caprices of our evil-commanding soul, which strive to destroy our eternal life. Such a fish is a thousand times more harmful than his. For his fish could have destroyed a hundred-year lifespan, whereas ours seeks to destroy a life that will last hundreds of millions of years. (Nursi 2008, 5)

As inferred through the lines mentioned above, “Mrs. Dalloway” brings up calamities in society through ordinary characters by delving into their consciousness as to justify reasons for despair; it uses myriads of minor characters, together with major characters, to reflect a larger social corruption, oftentimes leading to questions of higher meaning.

She often questions life’s true meaning, wondering whether happiness is truly possible. She feels both a great joy and a great dread about her life, both of which manifest in her struggles to strike a balance between her desire for privacy and her need to communicate with others. (SparkNotes Editors 2004)

Nursi, like Woolf, gives a detailed depiction of calamities in our lives, but unlike her, he forces the reader to see behind the curtain which veils eternal blessings; with a little effort, one may overcome the life-spanned limitations and achieve hundreds of millions of years of peace by submitting to the true Sustainer:

By demonstrating that He acts in whichever way He wills; by showing that (humankind and jinn have been equipped with free will and are responsible for their decisions and acts); by reminding that whatever takes place in the universe and whatever proceeds from, or is done, by any creature, is through His permission; by making it clear that universal laws are also always subject to His Will, and that an All-Compassionate Lord hears the individuals who cry out under the pressure of these laws and that He comes to their aid with His favors… (Nursi 2004, 33-34)

Time

Time, in both perspectives, is handled as a key element that indicates the circular recurring of events and the cessation of life.

Clarissa, Septimus, Peter, and other characters are in the grip of time, and as they age they evaluate how they have spent their lives. Clarissa, in particular, senses the passage of time, and the appearance of Sally and Peter, friends from the past, emphasizes how much time has gone by since Clarissa was young. (SparkNotes Editors 2004)

In “Mrs. Dalloway,” time is always present, as Big Ben always reminds the characters and readers of the time by chiming: “leaden circles dissolved in the air” (Woolf 1925). This expression is seen in many parts of the novel, as there is always time to do something, like not waiting anymore for another day to live the same things.

Time is so important to the themes, structure, and characters of this novel that Woolf almost named her book The Hours. (SparkNotes Editors 2004)

Said Nursi’s approach to time as a concept has quite an eminent value, as it is handled with regards to the past, present, and future of each individual.

Such is reality. Past hours of misfortune and their pain have disappeared, while the future days of imagined distress have not yet come. Pain does not come from nothing or from that which does not exist. Therefore, it is pure lunacy to eat and drink continually today out of fear that we will probably be hungry and thirsty in the future. Similarly, it is foolish to think at this present moment of past and future pains – pains which do not exist – and, as a result, to grow impatient, to ignore one’s faulty soul, and to act as though one is complaining about God. (Nursi 2010, 341-342)

Death vs. immortality

Death in “Mrs. Dalloway” stalks characters throughout the novel. Thoughts of death lurk beneath the surface of everyday life, especially for Clarissa, Septimus, and Peter, and this awareness makes even mundane events and interactions meaningful, sometimes even threatening (SparkNotes Editors 2004). Woolf delved into flux of consciousness through fear of death, as it is a door to mortality. The lines she reads on a book from a bookshop’s window from Shakespeare, are an epiphany about mortality:

Fear no more the heat o’ the sun / Nor the furious winter’s rages. (Shakespeare 2006)

Her desire for immortality shows itself through a movie star, as she will be remembered even after her death, and through, Richard as he would be given an award for his writing and also be remembered. Art in general is shown as a way of not being forgotten. Thus, Dalloway’s desire for immortality is quite obvious.

Nursi, just like Woolf shows the implications of desire for immortality as a basic need for human beings, a sense that should be fulfilled by eternal blessings of the hereafter. In his belief, just like a sense of hunger is fulfilled by eating, or thirst by drinking, the desire for immortality is a humane need that can find its needed answer through a power beyond human strength, a divine power that is free from the limits of mortality. When Nursi perceives the death of nature he shows great remorse and sadness:

The scenes of death and decay which appeared in this continuous flurry of activity were so pitiable that they moved me to tears. The more I witnessed the death of those lovely creatures, the more my heart ached. Sighing with pity and regret, I found my spirit in deep turmoil, for life that came to such an end seemed to me to be a torment worse than death.

The living beings of the plant and animal kingdoms, most beautiful and full of precious art, were opening their eyes to gaze on this exhibition of the universe for a moment and were then disappearing. The more I watched, the more pain I felt. I was moved to complain by shedding tears, while my heart asked profound questions such as: “Why do they come and then go away without ceasing? (Nursi 2010, 13-14)

These lines indicate parallelism with Woolf’s pessimism in “Mrs. Dalloway.” One might find suicide quite inevitable if there were only such despair. Yet Nursi finds peace from his pessimism through verses of Qur’an and puts meaning to the aforementioned seemingly meaningless deaths:

As I started complaining bitterly about fate because of the painful way the events of these beings’ life are governed, indicated by the light of the Qur’an and the mystery of belief, Divine Unity came to my aid as a pure favor of the All-Merciful. (Nursi 2010, 14)

… each living creature-this ornate flower, for example, or that sweet-producing bee, is such a meaningful Divine ode that innumerable conscious beings study it with great delight. It is such a precious miracle of Power and so great a proclamation of Wisdom that it exhibits the Art of the Maker to countless appreciative observers in a most attractive manner. Another exceedingly elevated result of its creation is that it presents itself to, or is favored with, the gaze of the All-Majestic Originator, Who wills to observe His Art Himself, to look on the grace and beauty of His creation, and view the beauties of the manifestations of His Names in the countless mirrors that are His creatures. (Nursi 2010, 14)

Unlike Nursi, Dalloway’s inner struggle against insanity that is caused by the same sorrows doesn’t give her the chance of a fruitful outcome, as she finds it an impossible fight to win. She has grown to believe that living even one day is dangerous. Death is very naturally in her thoughts, and the line from Cymbeline, along with Septimus’s suicidal embrace of death, ultimately helps her to be at peace with her own mortality (SparkNotes Editors 2004).

Conclusion

In this article, the two contemporary writers are compared and contrasted through their writings and comprehensions of life. It is quite obvious that there is much more to write to fully convey their viewpoints. Nevertheless, this article could be a first step for further studies on both scholars. One may think that they have quite different approaches, but when delved into their philosophical and psychological inner worlds, many superficial differences are in fact similarities hidden behind misconceptions.

On the other hand, it is quite obvious that they have significant differences about their outcomes that can be revealed from their works, as they have different sources of inspirations. Further research is obviously required on their approaches to natural elements. Their psychological perspectives could be given a more detailed study and other philosophers and psychologists could be referred to in comprehending their perceptions. Other works written by the two writers could be explored, too. The function of science is also an important element in understanding the “Risale-i Nur” (Mermer 1999, Alam 2009). More importantly, Said Nursi, as an eastern scholar, should be given his deserved place among the western world of literature.

References

• Abuhamdeh, S., & Csikszentmihalyi, M. 2009. “Intrinsic and Extrinsic Motivational Orientations in the Competitive Context: An Examination of Person-Situation Interactions.” Journal of Personality.
• Alam, D. 2009. “Spiritual Dimensions of Bediuzzaman Said Nursi’s Risale-i Nur.” Middle East Journal.
• Bethea, A. F. 2010. “Septimus Smith, the War-Shattered Christ Substitute in Mrs. Dalloway.” Explicator.
• Boykin Hardy, S. 2011. “The Unanchored Self in The Hours after Dalloway.” Critique.
• Brombert, V. 2010. Virginia Woolf-“Death Is the Enemy”. Hudson Review.
• Gay, P. 2002. “On not Psychoanalyzing Virginia Woolf.” American Scholar.
• Hershberger, P. J. 2005. “Prescribing Happiness: Positive Psychology and Family Medicine.” PMID. Vol. 37, No. 9.
• Ibrahim, M. 2011. Said Nursi. Contemporary Islam.
• Mermer, Y. B. 1999. “The hermeneutical dimension of science: a critical analysis based on Said Nursi’s Risale-i Nur.” Muslim World, 89 (3-4), 270-296.
• Mongrain, M., & Anselmo-Matthews, T. 2012. “Do Positive Psychology Exercises Work? A Replication of Seligman et al.” Journal of Clinical Psychology.
• Nursi, Bediuzzaman S. 2008. The Gleams, NJ: Tughra Books.
• Nursi, Bediuzzaman S. 2010. The Rays, NJ: Tughra Books.
• Panichas, G. A. 2004. Virginia Woolf’s Mrs. Dalloway: “A Well of Tears.” Modern Age.
• Seligman, M. E. P. & Csikszentmihalyi M. 2000. American Psychologist: Positive Psychology, an Introduction.
• Shakespeare, W. 2006. Pericles/Cymbeline/The Two Noble Kinsmen (Signet Classics), Release date: November 7, 2006. Series: Signet Classics. (Author), Sylvan Barnet (Editor).
• SparkNotes Editors. 2004. “SparkNote on Mrs. Dalloway.” Retrieved May 20, 2013, from http://www.sparknotes.com/lit/dalloway
• Woolf, V. 2010. eBooks@Adelaide 2010 this web edition published by eBooks@Adelaide
• Rendered into HTML by Steve Thomas. Last updated Tue Aug 24 14:54:11 2010. The University of Adelaide Library, South Australia.
• Yavuz, M. (1999). “The assassination of collective memory: the case of Turkey.” Muslim World.

Life, illness, and death are basic human conditions. But at the same time, it is a very individual decision which specific meaning you ascribe to these elements. These meanings also affect the behavior patterns of our life and its consequences. Ascriptions of meaning can – considered without any judgment – be of religious, nationalist, pluralist, and atheistic nature, or be supported from the symbiosis of several ways of thinking.

In the training of health care professionals and in public lectures, the author of this article noticed that illness has a very negative image: the color which stands for physical and mental discomfort is a deep black, while shiny white is the color of health. Consequently, modern medicine therapies have been developed that do not necessarily try to diagnose the causes of diseases, but most of all combat the declared enemy. For this purpose, high-dose drugs, radiation and other weapons are out in the field, according to the motto: attack is the best defense.

The doctors make every effort to win the battle, but there is a risk that the emotional state of the ill person falls into despair – because it is taught to him that his new physical condition is an unnatural, undesirable condition. Thus, a melancholy forms, which reduces the quality of life dramatically. The patient regards the illness as invincible.

In the following, I will present some perspectives that renowned scholar Said Nursi (d. 1960) demonstrated decades ago. They are still powerful today. In my opinion, they harbor the potential to raise the quality of life not only of the ill, but also of healthy people.

In his treatise “The Twenty-fifth Gleam: 25 Remedies for the Sick”¹ Said Nursi throws 25 views (Turkish: Deva² ) on the phenomenon of illness. His outlook could assist in transforming the negative picture of illness into a positive one.

What makes a shift in perspective so important?

Anyone who prepares himself while he or she is a healthy person, if they later catch a more serious illness, will benefit from this text. Nursi’s thoughts on the meaning of illness and potential remedies can play an important role in preparation. Those who internalize his message can help prevent the emotional fall into depression and may instead hope for a cure.

Said Nursi’s first view presents its readers with the understanding that illness should not be seen as a problem that brings bitterness into life, but that you can also draw strength out of it. There may, as said before, be different ascriptions of meaning to human life, but ultimately all people agree that life is something precious and offers a variety of opportunities. The direction of our lives depends on which use we make of these opportunities.

Those who consider illness as something negative will experience every illness as a curse. Such an attitude has a negative impact on the patient and their environment and turns them very pessimistic. They might castigate themselves, and ask questions like: “Why is it me of all people who has ​​this disease?” In extreme cases, this can lead the patient to become delusional and withdraw from society. A shift in perspective, however, can release positive energy and let sorrow and pain melt away.

Those who recognize the opportunities offered by life and appreciate the efforts and labors of everyday life as something positive will concede that even diseases have a meaningful function – for themselves and humanity as a whole.

Nursi says that ill people perceive time differently, which enables them to observe their environment from a more passive perspective. This passivity is supposed to tear modern, urbanized people from the hustle and bustle of everyday life and move them to a pause. It decelerates the lives of those affected and leads them to horizons healthy people find difficulty to access.

Nursi’s second view goes to the role of prayer which he defines in two forms: positive and negative prayers. He refers to prayers like ritual worship, fasting, supplication, and other forms of remembrance as “positive” (müspet) prayers. “Negative” (menfi) prayer on the other hand is attaining awareness and knowledge of one’s own vulnerability and mortality – which is more likely to arise in moments of illness rather than any other time – as a result of which one turns to God in praise of His ultimate power and infinity. Nursi signifies these positive and negative prayers as the second remedy.

The insight into our own transience, which is the third remedy, allows the ill person to recall their past mistakes, many of which might have been forgotten, and allows them to reconcile with themselves and their fellow humans. According to Nursi, this allows a person to realize they are not as perfect and as infallible as they thought. Illness makes people honest: honest with themselves and with others. The confession of the own fallibility is tantamount to an admission of human weakness and mortality.

Viewed from this perspective, the question arises as to whether illness itself is a cure for mankind. It conveys us new views and leads us to reconsider our previous positions. The ill person becomes an observer, and he finally has time to start thinking. As said by Nursi, he realizes that mankind may be considered the crown of creation. But man’s frailty, his aging, and also the health problems of other people make him realize that life on earth is not all there is – a realization that opens his eyes and takes him out of the darkness into the light. Becoming aware of one’s mortality takes away any thoughtlessness. It causes a person to shed laziness and reflect on their obligations.

If the patient manages to do so, they will feel gratitude and be patient, not least in dealing with physical ailments. This gratitude and patience is what Nursi refers to as the fourth remedy. For Nursi, the body is not the property of man, but rather a loan, which he may not dispose of freely. Suffering is to be endured, since it can do some good, too. Nursi characterizes it as a kind of bonus, which God the ultimate owner of our body grants to us, and we should not protest against it.

Chronic diseases or disabilities, which are seen very negatively in today’s society, can be reinterpreted positively in this way because, as Nursi asserts, they bring a gain in knowledge compared that we cannot achieve when healthy. As a result of their illness, they understand new things that healthy people cannot, just as blind, deaf, or dumb people perceive their environment differently, and sometimes more sharply, than people without physical limitations.

Each person strives for well-being, mercy, and forgiveness, and every sorrow and misfortune also harbors rays of mercy in it. From behind the veil of the illness many quite pleasant insights can emerge. A new consciousness arises, and thus many people gain the courage to take risks and reposition oneself in life.

This maturity Nursi describes as the fifth remedy and it can be observed especially in young ill people. Because of their illness, and in contrast to their peers, they have to cope with issues that seem to contradict their youth. They do not fall into the typical noise of youth and are relieved of thoughtlessness and of the pressures of everyday life.

From this point of view, health, for some people, can be even a calamity that can make their heads spin and blind, and lets them lose sight of the fact that their life does not last forever.

Conclusion

Even these first 5 of 25 views on the subject of illness show that not everything, which is interpreted as negative, is actually negative. A shift in perspective can often work wonders.

Nevertheless, such a shift in perspective appears quite disconcerting initially in our modern society in which health equals to a gift and illness to a disaster. If we have considered diseases as the enemy for so long, why should we suddenly welcome disease? A notion that a disease may also enrich the patient and their friends and family is a useful approach. Surely, the thought that positive thinking can influence the illness (coping), and even contribute to the healing process, is quite common. However, the angle shift described by Said Nursi goes much further. And in my eyes, there is no doubt that it is able to significantly improve the quality of a patient’s life and environment.

Illness allows ill persons to pull out from everyday life, at least for some time. Thereby, it gives them new insights and opens doors that probably would have remained closed if they had stayed healthy. Illness allows a refocusing of which we can benefit from as individuals and communities.

Erdogan Karakaya is pursuing a master’s degree in history in Heidelberg, Germany.

Footnotes

1. Nursi, Said. 2009. 25 Remedies for the Sick, the Twenty-fifth Gleam, NJ: Tughra Books.
2. Deva in Turkish actually means cure, resort, and solution. In this article it is also understood as view or view angle.

This matter has two aspects; we are concerned with one aspect, while the other one is beyond our capacity. Regarding the aspect associated with us, service to revive ethical values is done only because it is ordered by God. Unless all these deeds—those that make our nights sleepless, ruin our comfort, restrain us from food and drink, tire our minds and bodies—are performed for the good pleasure of God, it means that we have been acting in vain. Having sincere intentions lies at the soul of all actions. Unless this soul exists, both the deeds we have done and the ones we shall do will bear no positive worth.

“O you who believe! Respond to God and to the Messenger when the Messenger calls you (in the Name of God) to that which gives you life.” (Al Anfal 8:24)

Yes, this is a matter of life-giving, that is, a revival and helping others revive. And this revival, as clearly stated in the above verse, is considered possible only by faith and by making it the essence of life. Our personal thoughts and desires should in no way interfere in our deeds performed for God’s good pleasure in order to reach “the rank of contentment.” This is important, for there is a fine balance here. For instance, the belief that an unfaithful person shall face perdition may cause some sensitive souls to feel resentment; but this is a judgment in which we have no say of. Likewise, it would also put our balance on the brink of collapse if we were to include our personal feelings and push hard on legitimate bounds, or contrarily conceive unnecessary limits even for some legitimate forms of relationship, say, in an effort to prevent sexual misbehavior. Therefore, it is significant to stay in line with what has been prescribed and be content with it especially at times when we think we could serve God’s good pleasure by other means; this is what we are accountable of.

The other aspect, mentioned previously as being beyond our capacity, imposing upon others our message. This is something really beyond our power and ability, and this is not something we are responsible of. Just as it is God who can make someone accept, it is also Him who can make them not accept. Just as we do not consider this to be within our own authority, we cannot claim the opposite to ourselves either. If our words are welcomed and people respond to our call, we should not associate this with our intelligence, knowledge or ability, as everything is a favor of God. By contrast, if we are not welcomed, we should question ourselves, check our senses, intentions, worship; continually engage in self-inspection, and never fall in despair. Throughout history, numerous great figures of logic and reasoning have come and gone, and they have only been followed by a handful of people. Again, many people of inspiration and blessings have passed away, after whom one or two followers may or may not have gone. Indeed, faith is a light which God turns on in the heart of His servant, and the decision to turn it on is only under His authority.

Bediuzzaman walked on a holy path, by the grace of God, throughout his life, and despite all his achievements he did not associate anything to himself. He always managed to restrain and throw aside his ego by saying, “God Almighty may and is able to glorify His religion even by a sinful slave; yes, you should regard yourself that sinful slave!” In the same way, he lived his life through a continuous self-inspection and self-reckoning, declaring “you can not be a recipient of these blessings, but a mere passage through which others can reach them!”

The following generations after him, however, have found themselves surrounded by pleasurable services already established and have started wondering what else they could do. Just then, one more time, God Almighty poured on them His blessings, and now, everything we can see around the world today is merely the works of His own action, made out of His own material. Thus the end result is an abundance of positive consequences that can even surpass the works of saints.

“All becomes easy when God manifests Himself;
Creates He the causes and bestows them in a moment.”

It is a clear fact that these good services cannot be run by people who go through ups and downs; some of us are so weak in character that we want to leave half way when faced with difficulty or feel depressed, but after we realize all other routes are no exit, we get back on track. Even though a group of people, a community, may receive great honors and rewards based on their sincerity and hard work, we should admit that God Almighty is the real agent behind all things. So, no one should blur these services by mixing with it some other thoughts, delusions, or future expectations. No one should exploit the results obtained from these services for his or her own benefit so that all these favors can become a means of salvation for them. However, this spring of benevolence that can meet even the spiritual and otherworldly needs of next generations, may possibly become useless if we spoil it by crediting the blessings granted to ourselves.

It is therefore necessary to practice self-introspection, hold ourselves to account for all of our actions, and do our best to maintain self-control. Each of these favors should trigger even more servanthood and prayer with even more deeply observed worship, turning each prostration to a gate of reunion, not willing to lift our heads even for a moment, knowing that each favor will multiply with our gratitude. We have to rethink our condition; if we are brushing aside over our prayers, if we are being dragged away by our lust, and if we are enjoying all the carnal pleasures of this life in its fullest sense, then we have already started spoiling these favors.

Autism is a childhood cognitive disorder impacting brain development. Both children and adults with autism typically show difficulties with verbal and non-verbal communication, social interactions, and leisure. Numerous physical symptoms and disorders are common as well, including impaired motor skills such as walking, repetitive behaviors, and chronic gastrointestinal problems. The causes of autism are not known, but increasing scientific evidence pinpoints the genes involved in brain development. Many genes affect information processing in the brain. More than one gene is usually involved in this disease, so autism is a spectrum disorder, and it affects each individual differently and at varying degrees. The incidence rate of autism is approximately 1 per 150 children, and it is scientifically not clear, but boys are four times more likely to be diagnosed with autism than girls [1, 2].

When we visited them, I realized that my friend’s son, who was 2.5 year old then, would not look at or talk to his parents or to us. Instead, he sat by himself in a far corner of the house and made bizarre vocalizations. He screamed when we tried to talk with him. Most of the time, he was sitting inches away from the TV screen when it was turned on and playing with the cable when it was off. He had low muscle tone and problems with fine motor skills, so he could not actively play like our son. Instead, he was repetitively flapping his hands or rocking his body. Sometimes he engaged in self-injurious actions like head-banging or hand pinching. His parents, especially his mother were depressed due to all his tantrums, crying, and behavioral problems.

Finding an appropriate setting for an autistic child can be difficult. His parents decided to send him to a day-care for half-days so that the mother could refresh her mind from all the problems, and the boy could learn to socialize and begin to talk. Just two days later, she called me, crying, and telling of his bad experience in the day-care. “The teacher couldn’t figure out what to do with our son, and she put him in a room by himself. I think he is frustrated; he is more aggressive now.” She blamed herself thinking she had not made a good decision, causing her son to suffer more. I realized that she needed psychological and spiritual support to overcome this difficult period. It was certainly difficult to have a child that did not socialize, communicate, or even look at you. But as a believer, how does faith inspire us in this situation? What counsel is given to all sufferers by the Holy Books?

The Qur’an says we are “tested” in this life with different levels of challenges, and only the rightly guided believers will deserve Paradise:

“We will certainly test you with something of fear and hunger, and loss of wealth and lives and fruits (earnings); but give glad tidings to the persevering and patient: Those who, when a disaster befalls them, say, ‘Surely we belong to God (as His creatures and servants) and surely to Him we are bound to return.” (And they act accordingly.) Such are those upon whom are blessings from their Lord and mercy; and they are the rightly guided ones” (1:155-157) [3].

According to Islam, children with mental illnesses are considered as pure and innocent as angels. Parents who take care of sick children with affection and mercy are promised heaven. The merits accruing from such illnesses wash away all sins of the parents, and particularly those of the compassionate mother [4]. Also, the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, encourages us to find treatments and cures for any disease. He declared:

“God did not send down an illness for which He did not send a cure.” [5]

The Bible many times describes children as a gift from God and reminds us that unhealthy children and adults are not sinners. Instead, God reveals His works on the human body with sickness and healing:

“Now as Jesus passed by, He saw a man who was blind from birth. And His disciples asked Him, saying, ‘Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?’ Jesus answered, ‘Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but that the works of God should be revealed in him.” (John 9:1-3)

After a long discussion of the above verses and others in Holy Scriptures, my friend and her husband refreshed their minds with positive thoughts and decided to search for a special autism center to lessen their son’s symptoms and to increase his functional independence. They found a center only ten miles away. The center practices “Applied Behavior Analysis” (ABA) for the treatment of cognitive disorders. In this program, correct behaviors are rewarded with positive reinforcement, such as a snack, riding a bike, or going outside, and negative behaviors are ignored. By rewarding the positive, students lessen their aggressive or self-injurious behaviors, begin to communicate with their parents, and develop an internal awareness. When they become confident in their communication skills, they can learn anything with an ABA program. Within six months, my friend noticed a change in her son’s behavior. “He, for the first time ever, looked at us and hugged us. My husband and I were both moved to tears,” she said.

She observes that her son, now six, swims and plays with other children. He sounds out some words and practices more appropriate behaviors that they never thought they’d see.

Children with autism can come out of their shells by early diagnosis and intervention. If parents accept their child’s behavioral problems and collaborate with professional centers at an early age, children can adapt themselves well to family and social life. With patience, family members and their autistic child can experience success. What is needed is a solid determination combined with true respect and compassion and a deep trust in the goodness and mercy of God.

Esen Bakhautdin is a Postdoctoral Fellow at Cell Biology, Lerner Research Institute, Cleveland Clinic.

References

1. National Autism Association: http://www.nationalautismassociation.org/index.php
2. Autism Society of America: http://www.autism-society.org/site/PageServer?pagename=homepage
3. Unal, Ali. 2007. The Qur’an with Annotated Interpretation in Modern English, NJ: Tughra Books.
4. Nursi, Bediuzzaman Said. 2010. 25 Remedies for the Sick, NJ: The Light, Inc.
5. Al-Bukhari (1980), Jami al Sahih.

How does Islam view the idea of psychological projection developed by Freud? First of all, it is appropriate to highlight the writings of Said Nursi in which he tells the story of two travelers with different states in their hearts. One was serene and optimistic and viewed the world in positive ways while the other one was anxious and pessimistic, seeing the world as all negative. Both went to similar places, where ordinary lifestyles could be observed. The former one saw the place as beautiful with many good things existing there. However, it was different for the latter; wherever he looked he saw negative things.

According to Bediuzzaman Said Nursi, this difference of perspective between these two travelers is actually rooted in the state of their heart. The first traveler had no unnecessary anxiety in his heart; he was serene and content because he had relinquished all to God. He knew that whatever God had decided upon for him was best for him and he was never frightened of the future, because as long as he did the best he could, God would give him the best. Therefore, as a result, he had nothing to be depressed or worried about, as he knew that everything was taken care of by God.

The second traveler, however, had not put his trust in God enough to believe that everything was already under His management. He believed that he had the power to change things, but also believed that he did not have enough power to control everything, which in turn led to his insecurity and ego. In his heart, anxiety kept haunting him and he was worried about almost everything. As a result, in order to control his anxiety, he turned to drinking and other sins. When the two met, the first one commented that the second had perceived of everything in a negative light because he had no certainty in his heart.

There is one difference in the concept of psychological projection as coined by Freud and that from the Islamic perspective. For Freud, psychological projection happens when someone needs to suppress their negative thoughts or feelings. Considering the examples given above, lying and stealing are bad deeds and the feelings of guilt are that which the doer desires to repress. However, in Islam, projection can happen with both positive and negative feelings, as explained metaphorically by Bediuzzaman Said Nursi in his book.

Projection of this kind from an Islamic point of view can be related to a hadith regarding the heart, “…In the body, there is a piece of flesh. If it is good, the whole body is good, and if it is bad, the whole body is bad; truly, it is the heart.” This hadith underlines the importance of having a good heart to reflect well on the outer world. To apply this to the story of the two men, an insincere, insecure, worried heart reflects the similar world for the second man, while the contrary is true for the first man.

Realizing this aspect of the human psyche makes an impact on Muslims as preachers. Technically, all Muslims are in some way a preacher, regardless of their professions. Be they an engineer, educator, psychologist, policeman or officer, these professionals are entrusted by God to enjoin the good and forbid the bad. Being a good preacher might require us to filter our thoughts from unnecessary projections to those we are preaching. For example, a good Muslim psychologist who works as a counselor, and who also happens to be a single parent, must not perceive his or her client from his or her own point of view. This includes not jumping to conclusions too soon, for example, saying the client is lonely (as he or she feels, as a single parent) and deciding that all the problems of the client are rooted in loneliness. A good preacher must understand the nature and background of the audience and make an analysis that is as objective as possible.

Another impact of projection is the importance of cleansing the heart in order to construct a more optimistic view of the world. Al-Ghazali emphasizes the effectiveness of remembrance of God as a way to cleanse the heart. Performing additional forms of worships, in addition to the obligatory ones, can be a good way to make remembrance of God, for example, uttering istighfar (repentant supplication) before sleeping and engaging in self-supervision, or muraqaba. Cleansing of the heart can help a person have a more positive light in viewing this world, thus allowing more room for improvements and more opportunity to achieve something greater in life.

Psychological projection also gives us an understanding about how others might make criticisms based on their state of heart. This is important to note, because sometimes people easily succumb to the poison of criticism and cease performing correct actions merely because they are blinded by this criticism. For instance, a man is told by his friend that his good appearance when going to mosque will make others say something bad about him, because others might envy him. However, the second man’s statement may just reflect his own envy towards the first man’s good appearance. If the first man succumbs to the statement, he will try to worsen his appearance, despite the fact that we are encouraged to dress nicely when going to the mosque. By being aware of the existence of psychological projection, the first man can be more objective towards the “advice” of the second man and analyze it in the best way.

To benefit from understanding the nature of projection, we can go back to the story told by Bediuzzaman Said Nursi. From this story, we can learn that projection can be both good and bad for the self. The heart, as the core of the self, can project serenity, confidence and many other positive feelings onto real life, if it has been cleansed and is pure and reflective of the line of the religious prescriptions. A positive state of heart can be very important to lead us further and it can make it easier for us to worship God. However, if the heart is negative, this can be bad as it will project whatever negative thoughts and feelings a person has. This insecure state of heart can lead to other sins, such as drinking or other problems that are rife in today’s society.

Once again we need to emphasize that understanding projection is important for us as people, because all believers are preachers. Whether we are to help others or only ourselves, pensive reflection on our backgrounds and assessments of our lives can be made to ascertain the state of our heart, and this in turn will make it more effective in helping others. Therefore, as we can see, understanding the real nature of our feelings and thoughts can be very helpful in developing ourselves.

Taufik Mohammad, PhD, is a senior lecturer in Universiti Sains Malaysia.

References

• Reported by Bukhari and Muslim with the authority of al-Numan bin Basheer. The Hadith Software, version 1.0, Islamasoft Solutions, 2002.
• Said Nursi, The Words, NJ: The Light, Inc. 2005.

Day 1: I have finally decided to make some changes in myself. For a long time, I have been troubled about my social and spiritual life. I have been losing sincerity in my relationship with God and my relationships with other people because of the same problem-gossiping. I have spent, actually wasted, too much time talking behind people’s backs. What is more, after doing that, I feel obliged to act “nice” to those people about whom I gossiped. This double-dealing lifestyle has lowered my self-esteem day by day. But, to me, the worst result of this habit has been its damage to the relationship between me and God. In the Qur’an, God asks backbiters, “Would any of you love to eat the flesh of his dead brother?” Then He warns us, “Keep from disobedience to God in reverence for Him and piety” (49:12). Nevertheless, I have been gossiping at the expense of incurring the Wrath of God! Clearly, I need to do something to avoid reaping all these negative consequences in my life.

Day 2: Even though I have decided to eliminate my gossiping behavior, still I need to define “gossiping” as clearly and specifically as I can. In other words, I need to have an operational definition for the behavior; then I will know its limits, which acts or words constitute gossiping; and I will be able to observe and measure it. Here is my definition of “gossiping”: when a person is not present, saying, mimicking or listening to anything about him or her which would make him or her sad, angry or offended if he or she were to hear it, even if what is said is true. My goal is to eliminate gossiping by decreasing the time and frequency of my gossiping. In order to know whether or not I have accomplished my goal, I need to collect baseline data, that means, how long and how frequently I am presently gossiping when I do not take any action to stop myself. If I know this, then I can measure the effectiveness of my remedies. For this reason, I made a timetable to collect my data each day, by recording my gossiping time in minutes and my gossiping frequency as the number of times I gossiped.

Day 3: Today I decided to use the ABC model as a behavioral modification method because this model has been used to change various negative behaviors, such as anxiety and weight gain, and because its effectiveness has been demonstrated in many studies. In this model, A refers to antecedents, which mean everything that triggers the behavior; B refers to behavior, which means the behavior that is to be changed; and C refers to consequence, which means the results of the behavior, be they positive or negative. These three components directly influence our behaviors; therefore, if I intend to modify one of them, I will need to take all three into account, and shape my plan and determine my steps accordingly. Hence, while I am observing myself, I am also going to observe my ABCs and record them.

Day 4: Today I thought about the short- and long-term advantages and disadvantages of my decision. In the short term, since I will feel more honest in my relations with others, I will be more comfortable when interacting with them; however, since I won’t be able to tell them what I am really thinking at the time, I will probably feel tense, and it will be hard for me to keep what I think inside me. In the long term, since my main reason for stopping gossiping is to be a better person, a “vessel of love,” just as God wants a good believer to become, I will be progressing on a road on which servants become worthy of forgiveness and mercy. Besides this, my self-esteem, which has been lowered due to my two-facedness, will be reinstated. When I think about the consequences of behavior modification this way, I realize that success in my goal will be a very lucrative trade.

Day 7: I am still keeping records of my gossiping behavior and its antecedents and consequences. When I checked my baseline data, I was absolutely shocked. I had not known that I had been wasting so much time gossiping. I realized that whenever my friends and I get together for any kind of reason, or when people do or say something to me that makes me sad or angry, or when I see somebody whom I really do not like, I begin to judge or criticize those people and talk about them behind their backs. Now I have decided I need to block the antecedents to gossiping, so that I can reduce the length and frequency of my undesirable behavior.

Day 8: I have identified two important antecedents that trigger my undesirable behavior. First, whenever I become sad or angry at somebody, I look for somebody else, usually my friends, to talk to about the situation that has made me feel bad. By the end of the conversation, we always find ourselves gossiping. Since it is not always possible to avoid gossiping once in a conversation, only one thing remains in my hands: to refrain from looking for somebody to talk to. Keeping this in mind, I have asked all of my friends to warn me when I begin to gossip; also I have decided to distract myself when I am angry by leaving our home, walking along the bayou or doing any kind of diversionary activity until I calm down and can control what I tell my friends. In this way, I hope to break the chain of antecedents which directly leads me to talk behind people’s backs.

Day 11: Today I woefully admit that this preventative measure has not been helpful enough so far, even though it seems to work a little bit at first. I need to use some new antecedents to reduce my gossiping behavior. First of all, I will eliminate negative self-statements, such as, “It is beyond my power. I cannot stop it.” Instead, I will start giving myself positive instructions which remind me of my long-term goal and how capable I am of achieving it. In addition, I will try to replace my negative thoughts about other people with positive ones, so that I can lessen my anger, which is the first ring in my chain of antecedents. I hope that these measures will work.

Day 15: It seems that I am getting the show on the road at last, even though I still have not been able reach my goal, the zero point. I think I need to do something about my Bs. According to scholars, it is best to develop a new desirable behavior, rather than to merely suppress an old one. Hence, I need to choose a new behavior which corresponds to my initial goal. This new behavior should be incompatible with my undesirable behavior. To combat my bad habit, I have decided now to state at least three positive things about the people about whom I gossip-per gossiping session. In addition to this, I am going to try to stop my friends as well when they begin to gossip.

Day 17: Before I set to work on this, I knew that changing my habits would be difficult and stressful; however, I had no idea how nerve-wracking it would really be. These days, I am always trying to keep myself under control, to distract myself, and to clamp the lid on talking as I desire. By the end of the day, I find that I become really exhausted and tense. While I was looking for a solution to this situation, I realized that I already have the key: meditation, which is a great way of combating physical and mental stress. Actually, my regular, daily prayers, which come five times a day, provide golden opportunities for me to meditate and relax. When praying, I can both concentrate fully on my prayers, gaining strength in my relationship with my Lord, and also, I hope, decrease my stress level.

Day 19: As I guessed, my prayers are really helping me to feel calmer and more peaceful. Today I decided to try an additional relaxation method called “imagined rehearsal.” Basically, it is a combination of breathing, muscular relaxation and desensitization techniques. First, I tried to control the muscles of my body, from my head to my toe, by tensing and relaxing them intentionally. The next step was to do imaginary rehearsals of the situations that tempt me to gossip. I imagined a situation in my daily life in which somebody was acting in a way that drives me crazy; and I imagined my behavior in complete, minute detail-that I was controlling myself so I kept my mouth shut and even saying something positive about her. This simulation made me really tense and nervous, but then, I relaxed by using the relaxation method that I practiced before. Then I did the same rehearsal again and again until I became desensitized to the situation. Now I feel that if I really face the same situation, I will feel more comfortable and be able to control my reaction easily.

Day 22: Finally, it seems that it is time to harvest my grapes. According to my records, even though sometimes I have some relapses, my gossiping frequency and time is lessening. At least, I have never returned to my baseline level. I never expected to wave a magic wand and have my bad habit disappear immediately. Still, I need to reach a more stable condition and, of course, zero point, if it is possible. Even though two hopes-gaining the pleasure of God and lightening the burden of my transgressions against the rights of others-have motivated me to quit my undesirable behavior, I feel I need some more immediate, tangible motivators. I have decided to introduce some positive reinforcements into my environment, to be had whenever I do something worthy. But I have not defined the procedure yet.

Day 23: I have thought about my reinforcement procedure, and finally, I have given it shape. First, I am not going to use either positive or negative reinforcements alone. Punishment, in particular, is a temporary solution and only motivates one to avoid a certain behavior. It cannot provide me motivation to gain a new, desirable behavior. Also, punishment can sometimes cause relapses, which are usually worse than the old behavior pattern. Therefore, I am going to utilize a positive reinforcement system; and only if I need it, am I going to apply negative punishment to myself, by withdrawing some desirable things from my environment, (rather than positive punishment, whereby undesirable things are introduced into the environment). I am going to use a token system for my reinforcement process. Each time I make positive statements about others, I will gain 1 token; each time I successfully refrain from talking behind people’s backs, I will gain 2 tokens; and if I gossip, I will lose 2 of the tokens which I have already earned. I have made a list of the things or activities which would be reinforcement for me, and I have given each of them a value. For example, a cup of fruppachino costs 10 tokens, and each minute of my favorite TV show costs a token; so, for a 40 minute show I need to collect 40 tokens.

Day 26: I have finally got used to the token system, and it has started to work. I am really working hard and always keeping my token account in mind, especially since I missed this week’s episode of my favorite show-a miserable situation! Also, my friends have realized how determinedly I have been working on my no-more-gossip project. They have started to help me by warning me as soon as I open my mouth-because they knew what comes next-and by praising me when I put positive thoughts into words despite all my fury at the person involved. Actually, I am being reinforced verbally by my considerate friends; my motivators are doubled right now. Moreover, my friends are now also watching their own attitudes and behaviors to help me in the process, which makes me feel like I am in seventh heaven. In fact, my motivators are tripled.

Day 31: Only one day after I began to thank God that my troubles with gossiping were finally all over, I lapsed and gossiped. Actually, these lapses have occurred throughout the modification process and have sometimes pushed me to the brink of despair, just as the lapse today did. Sometimes other people have discouraged my use of these methods, and sometimes I have even discouraged myself by not believing that the techniques would help me or that I could attain my goal. Also, since I have been trying to resist the temptation to gossip for long time, constant self-control has fatigued me. In times of great fatigue, the only anchor for me has been my prayers and my appeals to God for patience and power. I have always tried to bear in my mind that I am doing this only for the good pleasure of God. I have kept on doing my imagined rehearsal, not only to relax, but also to remind myself of my long-term goal and reward, and to motivate myself when I am burnt out. Also, I have tried to remain in a positive mood in order to avoid hopelessness. I have tried to increase my coping and problem-solving skills, and used them actively whenever I needed to. Thankfully, all these efforts have prevented my lapses from becoming relapses, and it really has worked. When I look back, I see that I have covered ground and that I am almost done. The next goal for me now is to preserve the new behavior pattern as a habit, so that even as time passes, my new habit will be protected.

Day 35: Since I have reached my goal, I am terminating my project today; but it doesn’t mean that I am giving up everything. On the contrary, since I want to maintain the habit of not gossiping for a lifetime, I am going to carry on keeping records for a while, and reinforce the behavior with external motivators until it becomes stable. Then, in order to make my new habit even stronger, I am going to change my reinforcing procedure to intermittent reinforcing by using a variable-ratio schedule, which means that I will gain reinforcements in a variable ratio. For example, sometimes a frappuccino will be worth 7 tokens, and sometimes 10 tokens. After my reactions start occuring automatically, I will no longer need to reward myself or expect external motivation from others. Besides, I think that if I increase my participation in beneficial activities and forms of socializing, I will be so busy I will not even want to waste my time gossiping anymore. I have decided to be a better-organized person and to spend more time participating in beneficial activities, such as voluntary service. Hopefully, I will have a satisfied mind and better fulfill my duty as a servant of God.

Acknowledgment: During the modification process, I benefited from David L. Watson and Roland G. Tharp’s book, Self-Directed Behavior. I greatly appreciate all their helpful information and methods.

Sumeyra Tosun is completing her Master’s degree on criminal psychology in Houston, Texas.

We can say that just as earth, air, water, and their constituents have an influence on the development of a plant, so do thoughts and intentions have an influence on the development of the ethical conduct and character in a person. As flowers flourish from seeds and birds hatch from eggs, lofty souls and perfect characters are nurtured by beautiful thoughts and pure intentions. Moreover, those who live as if they constantly breathe a heavenly atmosphere thanks to their noble thoughts and sincere intentions begin to send out the fragrance of the same climate around them in time. They turn their surroundings and other people’s hearts into gardens of Paradise. As for those possessed by ugly thoughts or evil intentions, they virtually cause people to drink poison even in heavenly atmospheres.

Good Opinion is a Form of Worship

Being constantly filled with considerations that are welcomed by the conscience and cherishing positive views about another person is termed as having a “good opinion” (husnu dhan) in religion. As a religious term, good opinion denotes good intention, positive thinking, and perception of the beautiful; this reflects a person’s inner purity and faithfulness. It is most becoming for a righteous believer to maintain good intentions and take everything from the positive when making evaluations about persons or events.

Holding negative thoughts about someone is called having an “ill-opinion” (sui dhan), and this is based on suspicion. God Almighty reveals the evil of suspicion about other people in the following verse:

O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion, for some suspicion is a grave sin (liable to God’s punishment); and do not spy (on one another), nor backbite (against one another). Would any of you love to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would abhor it! Keep from disobedience to God in reverence for Him and piety. Surely God is One Who truly returns repentance with liberal forgiveness and additional reward, All-Compassionate (particularly towards His believing servants).

Likewise, God’s Messenger counseled against suspicion, since suspicion is the worst of lies. He also warned us against prying into others’ affairs, eavesdropping, feelings of rivalry or jealousy, rancor and turning our back against others; he counseled God’s servants to be brothers and sisters. He warned us against suspicion and all behavior that might harm brotherhood. In addition, God’s Messenger stated that a person’s having a good opinion of others is because that person is a good servant of God. The Prophet Muhammad considered sincere intentions, positive thoughts, and beautiful perspectives to be a sign of maturity in Islam, a deepening in faith, and soundness brought by living with the awareness of constantly being seen by God. The Prophet not only took an oath of allegiance from his Companions, he also received their promises about having good intentions toward all believers.

Said Nursi listed the four great spiritual handicaps, and he also mentioned the possession of an ill-opinion of others alongside hopelessness, self-pride, and vanity. He emphasized the importance of having good opinions. A person should not see all other people as superior to themselves, nor should they project the weakness or ugliness that is in their own person on others through suspicion or make the mistake of criticizing certain attitudes and acts of others without knowing the underlying reasons. At this point, I would like to mention a serious mistake related to the subject. Disapproving of certain attitudes of the early generations of Muslims who followed the Companions (salaf al-salihin) without knowing the wisdom behind is also an ill opinion. Ill opinion is one of the devil’s traps that harms society in terms of both material and spiritual life.

It is our duty to cherish good opinions and we must always think positively, particularly about believers. Imam Khadimi, the author of Bariqa, says that “even if you see a believer committing adultery, do not rush to make a judgment about him, wipe your eyes and say ‘My God, that person does not commit such an ugly deed, I must have seen wrong.’ Turn back and look again to make sure. If that is really him, then say ‘I have probably seen mistakenly again.’ One more time disbelieve your eyes, wipe them and look again. If you become certain that the person you have seen is the same person you thought, then say ‘There is no strength or power except with God Almighty’ and pray for that person: ‘O God, save him from this ugly state, and save me from falling into such a sin also’ and move away from there.” Although I do love Imam Khadimi and have deep respect for him, I find some excess in these words; we do not need to wipe our eyes and look back time and again and inquire into that deed. Because, we still have some doubt after the first look and that doubt can be the means for dismissing any negative thoughts about the other person. Inquiring into the matter further might serve to verify the negative possibility. Therefore, when we witness ugliness, we should immediately walk away without spying into the affair, identifying, or verifying it, before the unpleasant sights flow into our heart and take the form of a judgment. We should say “O God, grant guidance to your sinning servants, and forgive me,” and then forget what we have seen.

The person who has committed that sin may have fallen once but they may have then repented instantly, washing away his sins with tears, and he may have been forgiven. However, the person who witnessed the case and verified it through spying into it cannot help thinking about that ugly deed every time he remembers it and therefore cannot get rid of their mental contamination, unable to free themselves from the damage of ill-opinion.

Moreover, even though legal witnesses play a role in maintaining law and order in a society, there is no duty to reveal people’s vices in Islam. There is no such ethical rule that requires us to investigate the faults of others, to divulge them, or to embarrass these people. On the contrary, searching out faults and mistakes, divulging sins, and humiliating others are considered to be immoral in Islam. In this respect, even if a person has ten attributes of unbelief and only one sign of faith, we must keep as good an opinion of them as we can. That person is supposed to fear for himself and worry about his afterlife. However, we must never see him as a hypocrite. We need to remember the principle that being wrong in a good opinion is better than proving right an ill opinion, and we must act according to this. Naturally, we can be more cautious about whether we should give certain duties or responsibilities to people who have attributes of unbelief for the good of servitude on the way of God. We should remember the principle Said Nursi teaches us to adhere to when dealing with such people: “good opinion, non-reliance.” In order to let them have a share in the blessings of serving the faith, we can give them certain duties, but refrain from entrusting them with critical responsibilities. Thus, we will avoid serious mistakes and we will carry out the requirement of holding a positive opinion, thus allowing these people to rid themselves of ugly traits and to become sincere believers. Nevertheless, we should not forget that good opinion and trust are among the essential components of those who are devoted to the same cause and we should never fail to trust one another because of some piece of information that is not based on certain facts, or be misled by trivial reasons, suspicions, or the devil’s whisperings. We need to avoid over-generalizing the principle of “non-reliance.”

Avoid raising suspicion!

In addition, in the same way that it is essential to hold a good opinion of others, it is also a very important principle to refrain from behavior that might raise suspicion. Some people fail to avoid acts and conditions that might possibly lead to ugly thoughts about themselves arising in the minds of other people. They might sometimes present behavior that can be open to criticism in terms of their personal lives, businesses, or social relations. Thereby, these people trigger negative feelings and ugly considerations in some people who are prone to suspicion or ill-opinion. However, everybody should review their own condition and refrain from raising suspicion, while constantly maintaining a good opinion of others.

It is not possible to approve of situations which might lead to suspicion, particularly today; at the present time what is prevalent is a collective spiritual identity rather than spiritual individuality. The attitudes and behaviors of every Muslim can be ascribed to this spiritual identity and it can be generalized to all believers. Therefore, one of the prayers I consider to be very important is “My God, do not humiliate our brothers and sisters because of my attitudes and behaviors, do not let them be embarrassed because of my personal mistakes.” Nowadays, an unmannerly act by a single individual might cause all believers to lose credit. A person with inconsistent behavior can lead to negative aspects being attributed to all Muslims. In this respect, it is even more important to act in accordance with the warning of the Prophet and we should avoid those places that might leave us under suspicion. In the same way that we need to avoid such “slippery ground”, places that might leave us under the suspicion of potential sins, and to avoid situations that might trigger feelings that could lead to such sins, we should also keep away from the dangerous territory that might distance us from our essential values through the attraction of a single word, through eavesdropping, or spying on others. Likewise, we should avoid heedless behaviors that might raise suspicions about us and we should not let negative thoughts emerge. The following example will guide us in this issue:

One day, when God’s Messenger was at his habitual retreat in the mosque for the last ten days of Ramadan, his wife Safiyya visited him and asked for permission to go home after having stayed for a while. God’s Messenger, who was a paragon of kindness, came out to see off his respectable wife. At the moment, one or two Companions who were passing by, saw them and walked away. The Prophet Muhammad, the Prince of both worlds, stopped them immediately and said “Look, this is my wife Safiyya,” raising the veil of our mother Safiyya. Upon this, the Companions responded in humility, “God forbid! O Messenger of God, how can one ever expect an evil deed from you?” The Prophet replied as follows: “The devil continues to circulate through the blood vessels of people.”

As the devil does not leave us alone; he can whisper various suspicions and evil thoughts into our ears. He might lead even the most decent people to ill thoughts in various unexpected ways. So, one should try to maintain good opinions and avoid situations that might lead to ill opinion as much as possible.

The good opinion of God Almighty

On the other hand, while believers should always maintain good opinions about others, it is unthinkable for them to express discontentment that denotes an ill opinion of the Creator’s deeds. Above everything and everybody, a believer must hold a good opinion of God Almighty. As expressed in a hadith qudsi by the Prophet, God’s treatment of a servant depends on that person’s opinion of God. This reveals how important it is to cherish a good opinion of God, and how great a means to salvation this is.

As an example of how good opinions about the All-Merciful Lord are turned into a decree of forgiveness in the other world, the Prophet narrated the following event: a certain servant is called to account. Alongside his good deeds there are many sins. When both are weighed, it turns out that the scale of good deeds is lighter and the man deserves punishment. The condemned man is seized and is dragged toward punishment in a wretched condition. He keeps turning and looking back, as if he was expecting something. God orders the angels to ask him why he keeps looking back (this “looking back” should not be taken literally, it is unthinkable for God Almighty to be confined to a place or direction). The poor man says, “O God, my good opinion of You is not like this. Yes, I have brought along sins while others came with good deeds; but I have never lost my faith or trust in Your Mercy. It has been my hopeful expectation that You will treat me with Your Mercy and forgive me also.” These considerations and the man’s good opinion of God Almighty opened a door to his salvation. Consequently, the man gladly heard the divine order to be taken to Paradise. In a similar way, after Abu Sahl had passed away to the realm of eternity, certain people saw him in their dreams, and he told them that he was enjoying indescribable blessings. They asked him, “O master, how have you been able to attain this exalted rank?” Abu Sahl answered “Thanks to the good opinion I cherished about my God.”

As a matter of fact, a believer should always maintain a good opinion about God Almighty in every phase of their life, and they should constantly live with this hope. They should say, “I may be a sinner, and I am hung by a thread to Him. Therefore I might slip and fall at any moment. However, He forgives the sins of His servants, and is All-Compassionate, particularly toward His believing servants (Ghafur and Rahim). I have firm belief that His Immense Forgiveness will include me as well,” and cherish the hope of being forgiven. Nevertheless, this good opinion and hope for forgiveness should not lead one to commit more sins. A sincere believer is supposed to avoid sins like they avoid poisonous creatures. Even if they were to commit a sin, they should immediately take refuge in repentance, and ask forgiveness with the hope of being pardoned. A very delicate balance is concerned in this issue; a fine balance exists between refraining from sins and not giving in to hopelessness after a temporary lapse, since hopelessness is a greater danger in comparison to a sin. Saying “There is no more hope for me” and totally giving up, indulging in the swamp of sins, and finally being seized by pessimism, finally committing suicide is a greater transgression than the sins which lead to such a state. No matter in what condition a person finds themselves in, given that we are servants of the All-Merciful God who reveals His attributes of Mercy and Compassion in the Qur’an, Who even addresses the people who waste their lives as “My” servants, then why should we be hopeless? Actually, one should be able to say “it is unbecoming to commit sins before the great Compassion of my Creator. Then how can I dare to commit transgressions again!” Therefore, one should not give in or become hopeless. Particularly in old age and at the moment of death one should even more enthusiastically take refuge in hope and be filled with beautiful considerations while returning to God. Similarly, God’s Messenger warned us against dying without a good opinion of God Almighty.

Moreover, we should not restrict our understanding of the hadith about our opinion of God and His treatment of us; we need to evaluate this hadith from a broader perspective. It really is an expression of good opinion to say “I have an All-Merciful Lord who makes me happy with His various blessings, guides me to righteousness, Who forgives my lapses, and pardons my sins.” However, there is the belief that everything that happens in our lives has been arranged for our own good (e.g. an illness is seemingly bad, but it can be a means of blessings for our afterlife if we abandon being patient and thankful) and that everything in life is tailor-made just for us. Our good opinion about our Lord depends on the existence of this belief. If God Almighty wills, He exiles us, puts us to another test, puts another person to prison… but no matter what He does, it is always for our benefit. Each case is meant to direct us, to guide us to a certain destination and help us to reach eternal bliss. From the worship for which we are responsible – such as the daily prayers, fasting, Hajj, and alms of zakat-to the apparent troubles and misfortunes, everything we become and everything we are subjected to is planned for our advantage. Having sincere faith in this truth is the peak of our good opinion of God Almighty.

To conclude, good intentions, positive thinking, and perceiving the beautiful are signs of a person’s purity of heart and the immensity of their conscience. If a person starts to judge others, no one will be left behind. If we do not hold on to good opinions from the beginning, we cannot help but judge everybody and everything. Therefore, when an individual is performing self-criticism-given that they do not give in to hopelessness-they should be harsh. But when other people are concerned they should hold on to good opinions. We must remember that it is better to be mistaken in a good opinion than being proven right with a negative opinion.

“Why is my child not interested in learning?” “What makes my child not want to go to school? Why does my child say learning is boring?” “Why is he/she showing higher results in one subject than in another?” “Why does he/she no longer enjoy English?” These are just some of the questions which arise with concerned parents when their children demonstrate a lack of interest in studying both at home or at school. Some parents have opted for home schooling, others have their children join breakfast clubs, sports clubs or after-school creative clubs as a means to enhance their child’s thinking and stimulate interest in them for learning. God Almighty urges us in chapters of the Holy Qur’an to spread knowledge and not to conceal it.

He also speaks of children in numerous verses with regards to their upbringing and welfare. The first verse which was revealed to the Prophet pronounced powerfully “IQRA” meaning “READ”; this again emphasizes the power of knowledge for a human being to attain success in both worlds. It was narrated by Ibn Masud “The Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, would take care of us by preaching at a suitable time so that we would not become weary. He abstained from pestering us with religious talk and knowledge all the time.”1 The Prophet said, “The pen has been lifted from three: the child until he reaches puberty, the insane until he is cured and the one who is sleeping until he awakens.”2 We are commanded to be mild and loving towards children. Give instructions gently to make things easy. It takes time for the child to understand what you’re saying and to respond correctly.

But remember a child is not accountable for their actions so be patient while they respond to you in their own time. Children differ from one another in intelligence and comprehension. Some can be corrected by a mere stern glance and others need to be scolded firmly. But we should never stop following the advice of the Prophet Muhammad who said “Those who do not show mercy to our young are not from us.”3 A child is won with tenderness, mildness, and love. Let us now look at some of the reasons why our children may display a lack of interest in learning. Sometimes the reasons can be obvious; maybe the parents do not have the time to interact with homework tasks and the children struggle without this assistance, or maybe there is far too many distractions in the environment, so the child finds it hard to concentrate. But there can also be hidden pressures; perhaps the child does not like a particular subject, or finds it difficult to understand it, or does not enjoy writing or arithmetic. Some times a change of routine or a new teacher can affect the child, peer pressure or lack of confidence can also result in a lack of interest in studying at school or at home. The important question is how do we, as parents or education workers, draw the child’s attention to learning and generate joy and satisfaction in them? The early years of a child’s life are of utmost importance and play a crucial role in determining every child’s future. Brain research has confirmed that the experiences children undergo in the first five years of life form vital connections in the brain. These connections lay the foundation for all later learning and social/emotional development. Children develop at individual rates; therefore, variations in development are to be expected. Professional education workers come in contact with children from a variety of linguistic and cultural backgrounds. This includes children who are learning a language that is different to their native language. New guidelines provide extra activities to meet these children’s needs. Sometimes boys perform less well than girls and a survey report back in July of 2003 by the Office for Standards in Education in

Britain published two reports on methods schools can use to raise achievement among boys. They found that macho peer pressure remains a key reason why boys underperform in comparison to girls in nearly all subjects, except for maths and science. They also found that boys were more affected than girls by how interesting the lessons are. Teachers who were best at motivating boys were those who used humor and real life situations. Children with extra special needs and those who have a short concentration span will not settle at one activity for more than 5 to 10 minutes. Their needs are different from other children, and thus there are curriculum guidelines that help them with appropriate learning. Spending time with your child through the process of playing or completing homework is a key opportunity for interaction and establishes confidence and motivation for the child to learn; we must not forget that children are learning all the time and not just at schools. Tips to encourage motivation Therefore, the following top ten tips are useful in encouraging motivation in your child:

1. Nurture your child’s interest by providing opportunities for them to explore and learn about their interests, be they dinosaurs, stars, or flowers.

2. Expose your child to new ideas and areas by participating in community programs and not just school programs. It is important not to single out traditionally female activities or male activities, as it is the child’s interests that are important.

3. Attempt using short term goals and rewards since sometimes a child becomes overwhelmed by a large task. It is not that the task is difficult in itself, but the child may feel nervous, fearful or confused, resulting in a need for more time or input to understand the concept better. A child will sometimes abandon a task they even begin to try, so it is best to help your child break the task down into a series of smaller tasks. Also allow children to set their own weekly targets which they can reward themselves for completing.

4. Help your child learn to arrange time as when they start to go to school some may learn quickly and easily at different levels or stages of learning, but others may not. However later on, they will need to know how to independently set time aside to complete certain tasks.

5. Praise your child’s efforts since some children have trouble connecting personal effort to achievement. To help a child succeed, efforts should be praised at every success and the praise should be specific. So rather than saying “you could have done that better,” you could say “you tried your best and worked hard.”

6. Help your child take control; underachievers sometimes see achievement as something that isbeyond their control and this makes them feel as if all their efforts are pointless. The child needs to understand the role personal responsibility plays through success.

7. Keep a positive attitude about school because children need to see that their parents value education. Even if a child’s problems in school are a result of a problem with the schools or the teacher, you need to be careful about what you say and when.

8. Help your child make a connection between their schoolwork and their interests. Sometimes children lack motivation because they cannot make a connection between the work they are being asked to do and their goals and interests. For example, a child who wants to be an astronaut should know that maths and science are important in these jobs. However, under-motivated children generally do not focus on anything but the present. They cannot plan ahead for the near future, so rarely reflect on adult life or ambitions.

9. Turn homework into games as most children love a challenge, particularly with a familiar person whom they trust. Sometimes, dull homework can be turned into something excited like a challenging game. Checking children’s work shows them you care about it. Another creative approach to homework is to link it to an interest or encourage them to mark it for themselves.

10. Adults should keep in mind that motivation is not always about school achievement and that it is important to note that some children are highly motivated to achieve goals, even if the goals are unrelated to school. Remember achievement is NOT motivation. It is therefore very important to know that while you may get your child to get the homework done, he or she may never be truly motivated to do it. So what is the difference between the two; what is motivation? Motivation is a temporal and dynamic state that should not be confused with personality or emotion. Motivation is having the desire and the willingness to do something. A motivated person can be aiming at a long–term goal, such as becoming a professional writer, or a more short-term goal like learning how to spell a particular word. Attention from a pupil is necessary and essential for learning and this gives a student a feeling of self worth and makes them want to exert effort. If a teacher can secure the interest of the pupil and the student does the work assigned, and if the work holds their attention, the interest is maintained. There are two kinds of interest, the positive and the negative. When a student has a positive interest in learning, they are getting value because there is something they want to obtain. But if they only have a negative interest, they may still learn a small portion of what is being taught, but not as much as if they were to have a positive interest. The student needs to have a desire of their own to learn and learning should be a result of this, not of outside pressure. They will strive to learn if their interest is positive. If a child is interested in a subject, a wise teacher or parent can make use of this interest. They can work towards maintaining this motivation for learning. But before an adult can hold a child’s interest, they need to have an understanding of how the interest is obtained and how purposes that cause an appetite for learning develop in individuals. A person’s daily life, their character and their personality all determine their drive for learning. This interest can lead them to take action and want to acquire knowledge. There is also a need for a desire to be active; if a person is lazy, they will not have desires or urges to learn. A student also needs to have a desire for approval from their parents, teachers and peers. They need to have a desire to have a feeling of accomplishment, as this will lead them to seek more and more knowledge. They need to feel proud about their personal accomplishments.

We have not been able to mention all the desires that lead to motivation and learning here, but we have touched upon a few of the primary desires. Some parents may feel they do not know the best way to keep their child motivated with the same joy and satisfaction away from school and at home. Parents can worry over this, but it is comforting to know that a simple activity, such as a trip to the park or library or a small activity such as cooking or planting with your child can be interactive, fun, enjoyable and always a creative part of learning. Talking to your child’s teacher or other parents in similar situations is always encouraging and you may pick up tips for new steps that will help bring enthusiasm to your child’s education. At the present time we are fortunate to have easy and affordable resources and free websites which help parents to understand this topic better and which provide step-by-step guidelines on how to generate the joy of learning in kids. The curriculum in schools is continuously reviewed and updated to be a friendly and interesting framework of teaching and learning, with interaction between teachers and students across the globe.

Notes

1. Muslim 1:68.
2. Tirmidhi, Hudud, 1; Nasai, Hudud, 17.
3. Tirmidhi, Birr, 15.