As I sit and wait for my day of judgment,
I ponder the future.

Can I continue to live my life as I dream and desire?
Or will I remain doomed to a lifetime of cries
and days of gloom?

People say that I am arrogant and full of myself.
I say that if you really know me and my life,
you would understand the struggle that lies within my heart.

Living as I do, I have to be this way.
Not able to shed tears, for fear
that my moment of weakness will appear.
Trying to remain hard,
not to show my cards
so that I can have another day of happiness with my kids.

Learning how to be a mother and a woman above all,
and yearning for the life of a family: I so desperately need that.

But I have to put my past life behind me
and never look back.

I can’t live the past and feel peace within my heart,
because if the streets don’t wear me down,
the nightmares will tear me apart.

They say crying heals the soul.
I wonder how true that is.
I cry every night in hopes that I get my soul back.

This is a two-way street, so speak—
but I am sorry to say,
it can only go one way.

“There are numerous perfect mechanisms put to work by our Creator in a fashion that is impossible for us to know; it is equally impossible for us to control each of them.”

“This body is mine! Thus, I have a right to use it as I like!”

How do we own our body? How much of it belongs to us? Can we still stand behind the phrase “this body is mine!” when we explain “scientifically” that it is not? To what extent does that statement meet the truth?

First paragraphs of human biology textbooks strongly mention the phenomenon that the sustenance of life takes place outside our will. Does our first creation in our mother’s womb, when we become existent out of nowhere, happen by our will? Do we have a say in the creation of our body, which is the dress of our soul? Of course we don’t. Even our senses, which are involved in eating and drinking, exist outside of our will. The feeling of hunger, for instance, does not come forth from our control; it is dependent on the emptiness of the stomach, and low blood sugar. Hunger is not only a sense of alarm or warning, but also a feeling that forces one to eat; it disappears when one is full. If it was only a sense of alarm, one could get away with it. This situation shows that the human is not a machine composed of flesh only. If we refuse to respond to this feeling of hunger, it may eventually lead to serious, even fatal, consequences, such as patients suffering from Anorexia nervosa, a severe psychological disorder that can lead to self starvation.

If there were no such thing as hunger or appetite, humans would not be interested in working. The feeling of hunger is a remembrance to the One who provides. As a matter of fact, all our emotions are temporary belongings that provide for the sustenance of life, and for the continuation of generations. Sexual desires are provided so that we can have families and can continue the human race; an appetite for food is given so that we can maintain our lives, and the sense of cold is given so that we dress.

In our village, one of our neighbors suffered from a stroke. All of the senses of pain, hot or cold, and touch disappeared from his legs. A pathological sense urged the patient to ask care takers to warm the stroked leg. Upon the patient’s strong request, care takers tried to warm the underside of the foot with a hot iron over a piece of cloth. As a result, the patient suffered severe foot burns all the way to the bone, since neither the patient nor the care takers noticed the damage. The nerve endings embedded in our skin are in charge of sensing hot or cold; and nerves that are buried deep in our legs and arms are tasked with relaying those senses to our brain.

Despite feelings of cold or excess heat being connected to certain areas of the brain and nerve cells, these senses are not completely delivered to brain. That is to say that we are not simply machines made out of elements found in the earth. We do have emotions and a soul in charge of controlling those emotions, and a spiritual world connected to it. It is such that even senses of hot and cold do not belong to us and we cannot even generate or control them.

We cannot start our body just like we start a washing machine. We do not have a button to restart our heart in case it stops. How does a heart work? Have we ever thought about the number of nerves employed in sympathetic and parasympathetic autonomous nerve networks that make the heart work? All of the muscle cells of the heart contract with perfect timing. Do you know that special channels called “gap junctions” in between neighbor muscle cells are put to work wondrously in order to let electric signals pass from one cell to another? If millions of muscle cells in a heart did not have to work like that, how could all our cells get their nourishment, necessary substances, and oxygen in time? All of these processes happen outside our will.

How many red blood cells or white blood cells do you have, and how are they working? When the hemoglobin molecule reaches cells, it releases the oxygen molecule that is bound in lungs. Does the hemoglobin do this act of binding and releasing by its own discretion? Red blood cells get accelerated with proper speed so that cells get their nourishment on time. Is this something we do on our own? Our body is protected from diseases as white blood cells recognize and attack foreign microorganisms and substances. How can a white blood cell separate normal cells from harmful bacteria? There are numerous perfect mechanisms put to work by our Creator in a fashion that is impossible for us to know; it is equally impossible for us to control each of them. We do profit-loss calculations in every business of ours. Our body employs a great principle of economy; do we know how that is put to life or who makes that work?

Neurons, axons, dendrites, synapses, and neuro-transmitters exist and function in amazing numbers in our brains. Countless connections between neurons, and electric currents through synapses, happen without us even noticing them. How do neurotransmitters only bind with their own receptors and open ion channels? How does this relay of information occur in our brain when Na and Ca ions, existing in soil, rocks, and salt – which we use as a condiment – pass through these electrically controlled ion channels? Even if we know about these intricate works, it is still not up to our will to enable or control them.

How do nerve networks function? How many types of neuron circuitries exist, and how do they work? How does membrane potential form in nerve and muscle cells? How is action potential generated? When we touch a substance, which nerve tracks are utilized to transport the information? Do we have the option to pull the plug of pain and feel free of it? If this machine-like body belonged to us, then we could control and regulate it.

When we are purchasing a computer, we get the hardware according to our budget. We ask and order for the processing speed, memory, and the capacity of a computer to meet our needs. Do we get to arrange the capacity of our brain that we think we own?

Do we know that more than 75% of chewing is a reflex and happens outside our control and will? How good is it that we realize that only one of the three phases of swallowing is actually under our control and the rest of the process happens by our reflexes during eating and drinking? If swallowing was to be in our control, it would be highly likely that pieces of food and fluid droplets would easily choke our lungs and might cause death. How do our stomach and intestines work? At what speeds do secretions and movements take place? The content and amount of oral, gastro-intestinal, and pancreatic secretions are regulated according to the amount and type of food we intake. These regulations continue through our lifespan without any cessation.

Are we able to stop our heart beat when we are just a baby in our mother’s womb even for a minute? How does our heart work? How much blood is pumped in a minute? Approximately how long after the conception of egg and sperm does the heart start to beat: weeks, days? Do we know that our heart starts beating when we are as small as a tiny piece of flesh around week four?

How can we assert that we control our body, even when, to this day, scientists do not have a solid comprehension other than some assumptions of the rhythmic continuation of respiration during sleep or coma?

Since we own this heart and lungs, therefore can we manage to die whenever we want to stop them? Never!

We can conclude that the assertion of “this body is ours” is a deceptive, misleading perception. This body is given to us as a temporary belonging. It is very clear scientifically that all of the works, acts, and wondrous arts of the body do not belong to us, but to the One who created them. Our responsibility is to keep that in mind and be thankful for all the bountiful blessings.

Omer Arifagaoglu is a professor of medicine in Turkey.

A mysterious program
Far beyond our reasoning,
The ones open to mysteries
Never fall on their knees.
Do have the faith, then,
Never be felled by confusion!

Close not your eyes to the beauty
Do not be stuck in the ugly!
Behold Him as mountains do the sun!
Watch ever for His Holy Light,
Put the darkness aside!

Keep whirling within the phenomena
As the sage do!
Glimpse the good sides of both
pleasure and grief

Relinquish gloom and worry
If your willpower is bustling
Become the spring of hope for all,
If you can!

Till the seekers of a tranquil corner
Shall run to you;
And those joining your aura
Shall overflow with fervent happiness.

In the mountains, people use mason jars for everything: canning, flower vases, gifts, moonshine, drinking glasses, treasure jars – the list goes on and on. There’s not much a good old mason jar can’t do for us country folk. Believe me, a person has never had a good glass of tea until they have drank it from a mason jar full of ice, with a slice of lemon shoved down in it. It is m…..m….good!

The treasure jar is the one I want to write about. The name treasure jar explains itself. It’s very simple. People decorate the jars and then put items in them that they treasure themselves. The treasure can be a simple recipe passed down generations through the family, or it can contain rare old coins worth a fortune. It all depends on what the person holds dear to them in their own hearts. Once the jars are filled, they are given as gifts.

When I was a child, I would catch lightning bugs and put them in an old mason jar and set them on a table beside my bed. I would watch them light up until I fell asleep. It was a “simple” but “great” treasure in my young eyes. But no matter how hard I would pray for them to live forever beside my bed, they would always die.

I have thought about it a lot, and if I only had seventy-two hours to live, this is what I would do: First, I would buy five-hundred mason jars in different sizes, then I would put my “prized” possessions in them. Next, I would distribute them in unique ways so that the people getting them would surely smile. Remember that where I’m from, “prized” possessions do not have to have monetary value. They only have to mean something special to the one giving the jars.

The people that I would give my jars to would be chosen very carefully because, after all, I’m giving away “my” prized treasures. The first jars made would be for my four grandchildren. I have three boys and one girl, ages running from newborn to age seven. In my granddaughter’s jar I would put some pictures of us together, as well as a recording of my voice with a special message just for her. I would also add my pearls and ask her to wear them on her wedding day. That way a part of me will be with her on her special day. I would arrange for the jar to be given to her on her wedding day. The boys’ jars would also contain a recording of my voice and some pictures as well , but one would contain a watch given to me by my father. Another, a case knife I’ve had for years. The last one would contain an old engagement ring of mine, so that whoever receives it can give it to his true love someday. I would want their jars given on special days as well, such as their senior graduation or eighteenth birthday.

The next jars would go to my son and daughter. My daughters jar would contain the rest of my jewelry, and then I would share with her my whole life story. I would tell her things about myself that I have never told anyone. I think she would be very surprised about some of the things she would learn. I believe some things are better left unsaid until the time is right to share them.

My sons jar would contain some old coins that belonged to his father and all of my old love letters written by his father when I was only fifteen years old. I would also include the poetry and songs I’ve written over the years that no one else has ever seen or heard.

The next thing I would do is take twenty of the jars and write down all of the hopes and dreams and goals that I had, but never got to accomplish. I would release them into the river along with a note to those who found them that would say,” live everyday like it’s your last, because it may well be.”

The rest of my jars would travel across the seas, to other states, and hopefully to the White House. Some jars would be painted red, white and blue and sent over seas for the men and women serving our country. Their jars would contain thank-you notes for their brave gestures, and also a lucky penny in each one. Next, I would love for one of my jars to make it to the president and his family. In their jar I would place inspirational notes for them to read to lift them up when times seem really hard. I would also explain how happy I was to have lived long enough to see a historical moment in time. I would also include two handkerchiefs that were embroidered. one would say, “MR. PRESIDENT’ and the other one would say, “FIRST LADY”. The only way I can think of to get it to the president is to go to the media, so that’s exactly what I would do.

Finally, the rest of my jars would be divided in half and shipped to The Shriners Hospital and to The ST. Judes Hospital, because they treat very sick children for free. The jars would be decorated and filled with small toys and trinkets along with an inspirational note to encourage them to keep on fighting until they find a cure for their diseases. I would want the jars to be given to the children as soon as possible, because these children are fighting for their lives, and some may not make it.

I believe my jars would bring peace to others as well as myself because they would know they were on my mind in my final moments of life. It would also bring me peace to know that I left a part of myself all over the world. And that’s something special, considering I’ve always lived in the mountains and have lived a very simple life.

Once my goal was achieved, I would spend time in prayer. I would pray for my loved ones as well as myself because I would not tell them I was going to die, because I want to remember them with a happy, joyful spirit, not with a sad broken one. But if, for some reason, I was given more time to live, I would do the things I’ve always wanted to do, like write a book, record the songs I’ve written, and I would love to be able to travel to places I’ve never been to.

Life is short, and time passes quickly, but I want to live. But just like the lightning bugs I caught as a child, I will eventually die. Life and Death walk together hand in hand. Life screams, “LIVE!” and Death screams, “YOU BETTER LIVE BECAUSE I AM COMING AFTER YOU SOONER THAN YOU THINK!”

Belinda Sturgill is a freelance writer. She lives in McRoberts, KY, and she can be reached at belindasturgill12@yahoo.com. With this essay, she won an honorable mention in The Fountain Essay Contest 2010.

Answer: Self-confidence, or self-esteem, is usually defined as a person’s believing and trusting in himself, relying on his personal abilities and opportunities, living in peace with his own person and environment, and being content with himself in general. Even though it has a positive aspect in terms of urging us to look at life positively, this term is an expression of a notion whose underlying meaning and connotations do not comply with universal humane values. The term “self confidence” expresses a perspective which originates from an egotistic worldview.

Naturally, a person’s character needs to be revealed in order to be able to improve his or her talents and capabilities. However, while seeking their development we should not flatter individuals excessively and throw them into whirlpools of egotism. We should not make a person become a know-it-all and act insolently; we should not let issues rely on a single individual’s restricted personal capabilities, limited power, and feeble will.

First of all, it is inevitable for a person who approaches every issue with respect to his or her personal talents, power, and capacity and keeps saying “I” to become totally egocentric; it is inevitable for them to grow more and more arrogant by feeding their ego with every achievement and everything they do. On the other hand, it is also obvious that a self-centered person who has too much trust in himself will become completely desperate at the slightest slip or fall; he will not find anything to hold on to and will not be able to rise again.

People have the sense of and need for confidence engrained in their nature. However, a person who does not know whom he should trust and who cannot correctly identify the true source of reliance will finally turn into a complete egotist and he or she will ascribe every matter to himself or herself. Such a person will even nurture some perspectives leading to unbelief; she or he will go too far and-God forbid-say, “I have created…”, or “such and such has created….” In time, these people will become narcissists, self-admirers who are fond of themselves, their behavior, their manners, and their appearance. They will be ready to reject and criticize any thought, measure, and solutions other than their own.

In this respect, a principle of “fulfilling what befalls on the free will and then relying on God” should replace the notion of self-confidence in the eyes of a true believer of God. Humans are blessed with the “free will,” which is a very special gift. We are responsible for using all the senses and feelings granted by God Almighty as capital, but expect the result and reward from Him again. Likewise, the feeling of confidence is always ascribed to God in the Qur’an and the practical example of the Prophet, since God Almighty is the one who creates everything and who directs every affair. If we use the potentials placed in our nature as seeds and then put them to practice as an intention and wish to be realized, God Almighty grants us the power and possibility to accomplish that act. Regarding it as mental power, as directing one’s own thoughts and actions with that power, or as God’s direct favor on the human free will within the sphere of causes, no matter how we define fulfilling what befalls the free will, when we wish to do something and incline towards it, the Creator of the Universe renders it possible for us to realize that intended act. Therefore, we should always put our faith in God and rely on His execution. Accordingly, true believers firstly have faith in God in every matter and make use of the abilities He has bestowed on them. In addition, they ascribe achievements not to themselves but to Divine Providence. They know that all of these come from God and they have complete faith that future achievements also lie in the power of God. Such people, while fully acknowledging their impotence and weakness, are very powerful at the same time, for they are well aware of the true source of power. Such people are very rich, since they are conscious that they are fed from the treasures of Divine Mercy. They become heroes of the fact that “belief is both light and power. Those who attain true belief can challenge the universe.” (Nursi, Twenty-Third Word). Therefore, they have the courage to defy worlds. The fortress they take refuge in and the sword they make use of is the truth, “There is no power except with God.”

Yes, true believers make use of the free will granted by God in the best way possible. On the other hand, they pray as “O God, please do not leave me with my carnal self even for a span as short as the blink of an eye,” putting their trust not in their own selves, but in God Almighty. They take their carnal self and carnal desires as their archenemy and take only God as their best supporter, sole friend, and helper. In the face of every event, they croon, God is sufficient for us; how excellent a Guardian He is! (Qur’an, 3:173), and they voice the truth, O Our Lord! It is in You that We have put our trust, and it is to You that we turn in utmost sincerity and devotion, and to You is the homecoming (Qur’an, 60:4). They always keep loyal to the divine decrees:

“And put your trust in God. God suffices as One on Whom to rely (and to Whom to refer all affairs).” (Qur’an, 33:3)

“God is sufficient for me; there is no deity but He. In Him have I put my trust, and He is the Lord of the Supreme Throne (as the absolute Ruler and Sustainer of the universe and all creation, Who maintains and protects it).” (Qur’an, 9:129)

Nevertheless, nowadays saying “I” in everything one does and overflowing with arrogant considerations is more common than ever. Egotism is so widespread today that most people use even what has been granted by Divine Providence in the name of their arrogance and use it as elements to feed their ego. For example, most of those who put emphasis on self-confidence contract the plague of vanity in time; they are seized by a feeling of superiority and catch the egotist disease of talking about themselves at every opportunity. Therefore, the term “self-confidence” or “self-esteem” is impossible to reconcile with the perspective of a believer in the true sense of the word. It is a very unnatural term from the standpoint of faith, for it misguides minds and hearts like other spurious expressions do. With an understanding based on the essential values of belief, we all need to pray, “Hold me, O God. Hold me, please. I cannot do without you!”

Consider how great a source of power is a chick’s weakness, on account of which a mother hen will attack even a lion. Or how the weakness of a lion cub subjugates to itself so great a beast as a lioness, which suffers hunger to feed her baby. How remarkable is the powerful appeal inherent in weakness, and what a spectacular manifestation of Compassion for importunate beings.

In the same way, loved children obtain their goals through weeping, wishing, or making a sad face, all of which can cause mighty people to serve them. If they relied on their own strength, they would never realize any of this. On account of their weakness and powerlessness, in fact, feelings of affection and protection are so motivated in their favor that a single gesture may allow them to subjugate powerful people.

If such children become so arrogant as to deny the care and affection shown to them and say, in accusation of the protection over him: ‘I do all this with my own power, they deserve to be punished. We also will deserve to be punished if we deny our Creator’s mercy to us by attributing all that we achieve to our own power and knowledge, thereby accusing God’s wisdom in ingratitude for what Divine Mercy has bestowed upon us. We will be like Korah, who said: I have been given it [my possessions] on account of my knowledge (28:78).

This shows that our observed dominion in nature, as well as our advancement and progress in civilization and technology, have not been realized solely through our own power, effort, and success. Rather, we largely owe them to our essential weakness and helplessness, which attract Divine aid. Our poverty is the source of Divine provision, our ignorance is made up for by Divine inspiration, and our need draws Divine favors. Also, it is Divine Mercy and Affection, and Divine Wisdom, not our own power and knowledge, that have empowered us with dominion over creation and have put things at our disposal. Only Divine Authority and Compassion enable us, who are so weak that we can be defeated by a blind scorpion and a footless snake, to dress in silk made by a silkworm and to eat the honey produced by a bee.

Since this is the truth, renounce your arrogance and do not put your trust in yourself. Rather, affirm your impotence and weakness in the high presence of God by asking for His help, and by praying and entreating Him. Declare your poverty and insufficiency, and show that you are His true servant. Then say: God is sufficient for us. Most sublime is He in Whom we trust (3:173), and ascend to the higher ranks.

Do not say: ‘I am nothing. What significance do I have that the All-Wise Creator should intentionally put creation at my disposal and demand from me universal gratitude? You are almost nothing with respect to your physical being, but your duty or rank makes you are an attentive observer of this magnificent universe, an eloquent tongue of beings declaring the Divine Wisdom, a perceptive student of this book of creation, an admiring overseer of the creatures that glorify God’s praise, and a respected master of worshipping beings.

You are an insignificant particle, a poor creature and a weak animal as far as your physical being and soul are counted, and so are carried away by the huge waves of creation. But if you are perfected through the light of belief, which comprises the radiance of Divine love, and through the training of Islam, you will find a kingliness in your being a slave, a comprehensiveness in your particularity, a world in your small entity, and a very high rank in your insignificance. The realm of your supervision of creation will be so broad that you can say: ‘My Compassionate Lord has made the world a home for me. He has given me the sun and the moon as lamps, spring as a bunch of roses, summer as a banquet of favors, and the animals as obedient servants. He has put the plants and vegetation at my disposal also, as ornaments and provisions for my home.

In conclusion, if you obey your evil-commanding selfhood and Satan, you will fall to the lowest level. But if you follow the truth and the Qur’an, you will ascend to the highest level and become the most excellent pattern of creation.

Fifth remark

We have been sent to this world as guests with a special responsibility and endowed with important potentials. We have been assigned important duties in accordance with these potentials, strongly urged to carry out those duties, and are gravely threatened if we do not. To make the mystery of ‘being the best pattern of creation more comprehensible, we summarize the essentials of the worship and duties required of us.

Our worship consists of two aspects. One is implicit and concerns reflection and consciousness. The other is visible prayer, done in direct supplication in God’s presence.

The first aspect is that we submissively confirms the Sovereignty of His Lordship over creation, and observe in amazement the works of His Beauty and Perfection. We then draw the attention of our fellow beings to the intricate, ornamented works of art that are manifestations of the sacred Divine Names. We also measure in ‘units of due perception and discernment the gems of the Lord’s Names, each of which is a hidden spiritual treasure, and evaluate them with grateful hearts.

After this, we make a close study of the pages of creation, the sheets of the Heavens and the Earth, each of which is a missive of Divine Power, and contemplate them in great admiration. As we gaze in amazement and admiration at the subtle ornamentation and refined skills in creation, we ardently desire to know their Beautiful Creator and yearn to enter His Presence, where we hopes to be received into His favor.

The second aspect is that we turn toward our Majestic Creator, Who wants Himself to be known through the miracles of His artistry. We unburden ourselves to Him in sincere belief and try to acquire knowledge of Him. By doing so, we discern that a Compassionate Lord wants Himself to be loved through the beautiful fruits of His Compassion. In response, we makes ourselves loved by Him by devoting our love and adoration to Him.

Seeing that a Generous Provider nourishes us with the best and dearest of His material and spiritual favors, we respond to Him with gratitude and praise, expressed through our works, deeds, lifestyle and, if possible, all our senses and faculties. We then observe that a Lord of Beauty and Majesty manifests Himself in the mirror of beings, and draws attention to His Glory and Perfection, and His Majesty and Beauty. In response, we proclaim: ‘God is the Greatest! Glory be to God! and prostrates before Him in wonder and adoration.

He also notices that One of Absolute Riches displays His limitless wealth and treasuries in an infinitely generous fashion. In response, we glorify and praise Him and, displaying our need, ask Him for His favors. Then, observing that the Majestic Creator has arranged the Earth like an exhibition that displays His matchless works, we appreciates them and say: ‘What wonders God has willed and created! Confirming their beauty, we say: ‘God bless them! Showing our wonder, we say: ‘Glory be to God! Expressing our admiration, we say: ‘God is the Greatest!

Also, we see that the Unique One demonstrates His Oneness in creation through His particular signs and His unique decrees, and through His inimitable stamps and seals, which He has places on each creature. He inscribes the signs of His Oneness on everything, and raises the flag of His Unity throughout the world, thus proclaiming His Lordship. We respond to this with belief and affirmation, admission of and testimony to His Unity, and with devotion and sincere worship.

We may attain true humanity by all such types of worship and reflection. We may demonstrate that we are the best pattern of creation and, through the grace of faith, become a trustworthy vicegerent of God on this Earth.

Now, those of you who heedlessly go toward the lowest level by misusing your will although you were created as the best pattern of creation, listen to me! To see how ugly is the face of the world that turns toward passions and desires, and, by contrast, how extraordinarily beautiful is its other face that turns toward the Hereafter, look at the ‘tables given below.

The First Table

(This table depicts the true spirit of the world of the heedless.)

Do not invite me to the world; I came and found it evil and mortal. Heedlessness was a veil; I saw the light of Truth concealed. All things, the whole of creation, I saw were mortal and full of harm. Existence, indeed I put it on. Alas! It was non-existence and I suffered much. As to life, I experienced it; I saw it was torment within torment. Intellect became pure retribution; I saw permanence to be tribulation. Life was like a wind that passed in whims; I saw perfection to be pure loss. Deeds were only for show; I saw ambitions to be pure pain. Union was in fact separation; I saw the cure to be the ailment. These lights became darkness; I saw these friends to be orphans. These voices were announcements of death; I saw the living to be dead. Knowledge changed into whims; I saw in science thousands of ailments. Pleasures became unmixed pain; I saw existence to be compounded non-existence. I have found the True Beloved; Ah! I suffered much pain because of separation.

The Second Table

(This table describes the true spirit of the world of the people of guidance and peace.)

Heedlessness has disappeared; I have seen the light of Truth to be manifest. Existence is a proof of Divine Being. Life is the mirror reflecting Truth. Intellect has become the key to treasuries. Mortality is the door to eternity. The spark of self-attainment has died. There is the Sun of Grace and Beauty. Life has become pure action. Eternity is pure life. Darkness is a thin membrane enclosing light. There is true life in death. All things have become familiar. All sounds are the recitation of Divine Names. All the particles in creation: Each recites God’s Names and glorifies Him. I have found poverty to be a treasury of wealth. In impotence lies perfect power. If you have found God,all things are yours. If you are a slave of the Owner of All Things,His property is yours. If you are egotist and claim self-ownership,it is endless trial and tribulation. It is infinite torment you are to experience,it is an unbearable calamity. If you are truly a slave of God,devoted to Him,it is an infinite delight. Taste its uncountable rewards,experience its boundless bliss… Glory be to You! We know nothing but what you teach us. You are the All-Knowing, the All-Wise. O my Lord, relieve my mind and ease my task. Loosen a knot from my tongue so that they may understand my speech. O God, bestow peace and blessings on Muhammad, his pure, unique essence, who is the light revealing all the mysteries, the manifestation of light, the point upon which manifestations of God’s Majesty are centered, the pivot around which the world of His Grace and Beauty revolves. O God, for the mystery of him in his relation to You, and for his journeying toward You, secure me from my fears, protect me from falling, diminish my sorrows, and purify me of my passions. Be with me, take me away from myself unto You, favor me with effacement from myself. Do not leave me obsessed with my self and veiled by my feelings. Unveil to me every mystery. O Eternally Living and Self-Sustaining, O Eternally Living and Self-Sustaining, O Eternally Living and Self-Sustaining! Have mercy upon me, upon my companions, upon all believers, and upon all the people of the Qur’an. Amen. O Most Compassionate of the compassionate, O Most Generous of the generous! The conclusion of their call will be: All praise is due to God, the Lord of all the worlds.

Adapted from Bediuzzaman’s Twenty-third Word, Second Chapter.

Man, with respect to action and bodily endeavors, is no more than a weak animal, a helpless creature. So limited a circle is the realm at his disposal in this respect that his fingers can touch its circumference, and such are the weakness, impotence and indolence of man that even the domestic animals are influenced by them. If, for example, domesticated goats and asses are compared with their wild counterparts, great differences will be observed between them.

But as a passive, recipient being who needs to pray and petition, man is a worthy traveller allowed to stay for some time in the guest-house of this world. He is the guest of a Generous One, Who has put the treasures of His infinite Compassion at his disposal, and subjugated to him His peerless works of creative power which are his servants. Also, He has prepared for the use and pleasure of His guest such a vast area of spectacle that its radius is as far as sight or even imagination can reach.

Now then, if man, by relying on his physical capacity and innate abilities takes the worldly life as his goal and concentrates on the pleasures of this life, he will suffocate within a very narrow circle. Furthermore, the parts of his body and his senses and faculties will bring suit and witness against him in the Hereafter. But if he knows himself to be a guest and spends his life within the limits approved by his generous Host, he will lead a happy and peaceful life and attain to the highest rank among the creation. In the Hereafter, he will be rewarded with an everlasting life of bliss, and the members of his body and all his faculties will bear witness in his favour.

All the wonderful faculties of man have not been given him so that he might use them in this trivial worldly life, but they have been given for an important life of eternity. When compared to animals, man is seen to have many more faculties and senses whereas the pleasure he can take from merely physical life is much less than that of an animal. Every single pleasure of the worldly life bears the traces of thousands of pains, and is spoiled with the sorrows left from the past, the fears of the future, and the disappearance of the pleasure itself. But this is not the case with an animal. Its pleasures are free from pains and its enjoyments are without anxiety. Neither is it affected by the sorrows of the past, nor can anxieties for the future prevent it from the enjoyment of its life. It leads a comfortable life, and praises its Creator.

To conclude, if man, who has been created on the best pattern, concentrates on the worldly life, he is reduced to a rank a hundred times lower than a sparrow, although he has a hundred times as many and developed faculties as an animal. In another treatise, I explained this fact in the form of a parable. I will now repeat it, as it is related to the subject.

A man gives one of his servants ten gold lira and orders him to have a suit made for himself of some particular type of cloth. He gives a thousand gold lira to another servant of his and sends him to the bazaar with a shopping list. The former has an excellent suit made for himself of cloth of finest quality. The latter acts foolishly. He does not notice how much money was given to him, nor reads the shopping list, but thinks he should imitate his friend. Therefore, he goes to a shop, and gives all of the thousand gold lira in exchange for a suit. That unfortunate servant then returns to his lord and recieves a severe punishment and a terrible torment.

Anyone with a bit of intelligence perceives that the thousand gold lira were not given to the servant to buy a suit, but for a very important transaction.

Similarly, the spiritual faculties and the feelings and senses with which man has been endowed, are much more developed than those of animals. For example, his eye can identify all degrees of beauty; his sense of taste, his tongue, can distinguish the various tastes of all kinds of food, his intelligence can penetrate into the many details of visible realities; his heart yearns for all ranks of perfection, and so on. Whereas, the faculties of animals (with the exception of some one particular faculty which greatly develops in each animal according to its particular duty) can realize only a very little development, if any.

The reason why man has so many faculties is that man’s senses and feelings have developed very far owing to his mind and intellect. The large variety of his needs has caused him to evolve different types of feelings, and to become very sensitive to all kinds of things. Also, due to his comprehensive nature he has been given such desires as are turned to several aims and objectives. Because of the diversity of his essential (natural) duties, his senses and faculties have greatly expanded. Furthermore, since he has an inclination and capacity to perform all types of worship, he has the potential to realize all kinds of perfection.

Obviously, this kind of richness in faculties and abundance of potentialities can by no means have been given to him for an insignificant, temporary, worldly life. They exist in man because his essential duty is to perceive his obligations that are directed to endless aims, to affirm his impotence, poverty and insufficiency in the form of worship, to study by his far-reaching sight and penetrating understanding and to bear witness to the glorification of Allah by all creation, to discern and be grateful for the aid of the All-Gracious One sent in the form of bounties, and to gaze and, reflect upon, and draw warning from, the miracles of the Power of the Lord manifested in His works of creation.

O world-worshipping man, who are charmed by the worldly life and ignorant of the meaning of your nature as the best pattern of creation! Once I saw the true nature of this worldly life in an imaginary vision, as follows:

I happened to be on a long journey. My Lord had caused me to set out on this journey, and had assigned to me sixty gold lira, which would be given to me in instalments on different occasions. This went on for some time and after a while I arrived at an inn where an entertainment was going on. I gambled away my last ten gold lira there in one night of entertainment and notoriety. When it was morning, I had no money to buy the provisions that I would need at my destination. All that remained to me of my allowance was pains and sorrows and regrets left by sins and illicit pleasures.

I was in that wretched state, when a man turned up and said to me: ‘You have lost all you had, and hence you have deserved punishment. Moreover, you will go on to your destination with no money. But the door of repentance is not closed, if you use your mind. Save the half of the fifteen gold lira which will be given to you as the rest of your allowance, and buy with that the (necessary) provisions you will need at your destination.’

My selfhood was not content with putting aside half, so the man said, ‘Save a third of it then.’ But with this also my seltbood was not content. The man insisted ‘then a quarter.’ I realized my selfhood would not be able to abandon it addictions, so the man turned away in some indignation and disappeared.

At just this moment, I found myself on a train speeding down a vertical tunnel. I was alarmed, but there was no way to escape. To my curious surprise, I saw that there were very attractive flowers and tasty-looking fruits alongside the track, hanging out from the sides of the tunnel. I foolishly attempted to pick some of them. But all around them were thoms which hurt and cut my hands as I touched them; what I tried to hold slipped from me because of the speed of the train. I could take hold of only a few and not for long. An attendant came beside me and said: ‘Give me five pence, and in return I will give you as many flowers and fruits as you want. Otherwise with your hands all cut up, you will lose a hundred instead of five. Besides, there is a punishment for picking them without permission.’

Depressed by this condition, I looked out from the window to see when the tunnel would end. But there was no end in sight. I observed many openings in the walls of the tunnel into which passengers from the train were being thrown. Suddenly I caught sight of an opening just opposite me with a gravestone on either side. When I peered out I made out my name, SA’ID written in capital letters on the gravestones. I gave a cry of bewilderment and repentance. Unexpectedly, I heard the voice of the man who had given me advice at the door of the inn, saying to me:

– Have you come to your senses?

– Yes, I have. But I am in despair and there is nothing I can do.

– Repent, and trust in Allah.

– I do.

Then I woke up and I found myself transformed into New Sa’id; the Old Sa’id had gone away.

I will now interpret some aspects of this imaginary vision:

The journey is man”s life, which is, in fact a journey from the incorporeal world of eternity, passing through the stages of mother”s womb, youth, old age, the grave, the intermediate world, resurrection and the Bridge. The sixty golden lira are the sixty years of an average lifetime. I was forty-five years old when I saw that imaginary vision. Only Allah knows when I will die. A sincere student of the Holy Qur’an showed me the true path so that I might spend half of the remaining fifteen years for the Hereafter. The inn, as I came to understand, was Istanbul for me. The train represents time, and each wagon, a year. The tunnel is the worldly life; the thorny flowers and fruits stand for illicit pleasures and forbidden amusements that make the heart bleed with the idea of seperation at the very moment you reach out for them. Disappearance of pleasures increases sorrow, and besides, being unlawful, they cause one to suffer punishment. The attendant on the train had said: “Give me five pence, and in return, I will give you as many flowers and fruits as you wish.” This means that the permissible tastes and pleasures, obtained in lawful ways, are enough for one”s satisfaction; they leave no need to have recourse to unlawful ways. You can interpret for yourself the remaining details of the vision.

Fourth remark

Man, among the creatures, is much like a tender child. His strength originates in his weakness and his power in his impotence. It is on account of this want of strength and power that the whole of creation has been subjugated to him. If, therefore, man perceives his weakness and becomes a humble servant to Allah through his prayer, his words and actions, if he recognizes his impotence and seeks Allah”s help, he will then have fulfilled the obligation of gratitude for the subjugation of nature to him. Besides, Allah will enable him to reach his goal and realize his aims in such a way that if it were left to his own powers he could not succeed in one hundredth of it. Sometimes, he mistakenly attributes to his own achievement what he gets through his active prayer, that is, through acting in accordance with the Divine laws of life and nature. Consider how great a source of power is the weakness of a chick, on account of which the mother hen will attack even a lion. Or how the weakness of a lion cub subjugates to itself so great a beast as the lioness which itself suffers hunger to feed its baby. How remarkable is the powerful appeal inherent in weakness, and what a spectacular manifestation of Compassion for importunate beings! In the same way, a loved child obtains his goal through weeping, or simply wishing, or making a sad face, and can cause mighty person to serve him. If, otherwise he relies upon his own strength, he could never realize even one thousandth of this. On account of his weakness and powerlessness, in fact, feelings of affection and protection are so motivated in his favour that a single gesture of his hand may suffice for him to subjugate powerful persons to himself. If a child like this becomes so arrogant as to deny the care and affection that is being shown to him and says, in accusation of the protection over him, “I do all this with my own power”, he will certainly deserve a slap. Similarly, man will also, deservedly, receive a punishment if he denies the mercy of His Creator towards him and accusing Allah”s wisdom in ingratitude for what Divine Mercy has bestowed upon him, attributes all of his achievements to his own power and knowledge like Korah who said: “I have been given it (that is, my wealth) on account of knowledge I have” (Qur’an, 28.78). This shows that man”s observed dominion in nature, his advancement and progress in civilization and technology have not been realized solely through his own power, effort, and success. He largely owes them to his essential weakness and helplessness which attract Divine aid; his poverty is the source of Divine provision, his ignorance is made up for by Divine inspiration; his need draws Divine favours. Also, it is Divine mercy and affection, and Divine wisdom, but not his own power and knowledge, which has empowered him with dominion over the rest of the creation, and has put things at his disposal. It is again the Divine authority and compassion which, alone, enable man, so weak as to be defeated by a blind scorpion and a footless snake, to dress in silk through a worm and to eat the honey of a poisonous insect. Since this is the truth, o man, renounce arrogance and do not put your trust in your self! Rather, affirm your impotence and weakness in the high presence of Allah by asking for His help, and by praying and entreating Him. Declare your poverty and insufficiency, and show that you are His true servant. Then say, “Allah is sufficient for us. Most sublime is He in whom we trust” (Qur’an 3:173) and, in saying so, ascend to the higher ranks. Don not say, “I am nothing; what significance do I have that the All-Wise Creator should intertionally put the whole of the creation at my disposal and demand from me universal gratitude?” You are indeed almost nothing with respect to your physical being, but concerning your duty or rank, you are an attentive observer of this magnificent universe, an eloquent tongue of beings declaring the Divine wisdom, a perceptive student of this book of creation, an admiring overseer of the creatures that glorify Allah”s praise, and a respected master of worshipping beings. You are, o man, indeed an insignificant particle; a poor creature and a weak animal as far as your physical being and incarnate soul are counted and, therefore, you are being carried away by the huge waves of all creation. But if you are trained by Islam toward human perfection, that is, being a slave to Allah alone, you will find a kingliness in your being a slave, a comprehensivness in your particularity, a world in your small entity, and a very high rank in your insignificance. Also, the realm of your supervision of the rest of the creation will be so broad that you can say, “My Compassionate Lord has made the world a home for me. He has given me the sun and the moon as lamps, spring as a bunch of roses, summer as a banquet of favours, and the animals as obedient servants. He has put the plants and vegetation at my disposal also, as ornaments and provisions to my home.” In conclusion, if you obey your evil-commanding selfhood and Satan, you will fall to the lowest of the low. If you follow the truth and the Qur’an, you will ascend to the highest of the high and become a perfect pattern of creation.

R. Nur Collection (23rd Word)