Muslim psychologists and psychiatrists recently published an eye-opening book titled Applying Islamic Principles to Clinical Mental Health Care. I had learned about Dr. Rania Awaad and her work in mental health at a talk hosted by Salaam Islamic Center. She is a Clinical Associate Professor of Psychiatry at the Stanford University School of Medicine and the Director of the Muslim Mental Health Lab. Discussing how traditional Islamic texts meet with the modern disciplines of psychology and psychiatry, Dr. Awaad uses the “biopsychosocial” approach; she claims that psychology, mental health, spirituality, and religion cannot be separated. As someone who shares the same understanding, I was deeply impressed with her and her team’s clinical treatment methods and their new book. It is a book about introducing Traditional Islamically Integrated Psychotherapy (TIIP), which is the culminating result of the Khalil Center’s research.

I attach importance to this book because I truly believe in the power of holistic approaches to healing. I am also involved in the Association for Psychological and Spiritual Sciences (APSS), which is similar to the Khalil Center because it also encourages psychologists, psychiatrists, students of medicine, theologians, and researchers of human sciences to discuss and conduct studies to solve many problems of individuals and societies. Additionally, the APSS mirrors the Khalil Center due to its similar work of analyzing conceptual religious and spiritual sources of oriental history with an emphasis on Sufism. Thus, predominantly Islamic sources are discussed to develop universally applicable theories, concepts, and therapeutic strategies.

Two halves of a coin

The recently published book, Applying Islamic Principles to Clinical Mental Health Care, is built upon three profound principles. First, researchers combed through traditional and foundational Islamic texts, such as the holy Qur’an, sayings of the Prophet Muhammad (hadith), actions of the Prophet (sunnah), and other general Islamic guidelines for spiritual and material well-being. Then, this well-established and prosperous literature review was evaluated, and then combined, with modern psychology. Last but not least, practical methods were then synthesized by using traditional Islamic literature in the psychology field and current modern psychotherapy techniques.

The book delivers a detailed and lucid account of the differences between the approaches utilized by modern psychiatry and the TIIP. Contemporary psychiatry is largely based upon “The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental disorders” (DSM) and “The International Classification of Disorders,” (ICD) which are used for diagnosing mental disorders. The TIIP utilizes these texts and the vast amount of clinical research that they possess, but on the other hand it also takes the Qur’an, hadith, sunnah, and other Islamic spiritual traditions into consideration. The critical difference in between the two is that the TIIP advocates for a more holistic approach to mental health that includes a person’s spiritual well-being, while modern psychiatry does not consider a person’s spiritual pathological character in order for them to require clinical treatment. 

The TIIP’s perspective is that the concept of health and pathology cannot be adequately addressed with current clinical diagnoses. According to Islam, proper psycho-spiritual health is heavily associated with each person achieving a strong understanding of their own unique ethereal purpose, and the proper treatments for gaining and maintaining psycho-spiritual health can be achieved through training. For instance, a person that suffers from an abundance of arrogance, which negatively affects various aspects of their life, does not require modern psychiatric clinical treatment. Since arrogance is mentioned as a spiritual disease in Islamic sources, a TIIP practitioner addresses this condition with a psycho-spiritual integrative approach.

The APSS explains this concept in more detail by arguing that the human being is a vast, profound, and complicated creation that longs for a sense of eternity, permanence, understanding behind creation and life, and connection to one’s Creator. Spiritual health is seen to be equally important as one’s physical and mental health since neglecting one’s spiritual health can have adverse consequences upon many facets of a person’s life. Thus, eternal satisfaction may be gained via spiritual contentment. 

Furthermore, these techniques are not exclusive only to Muslims despite their backing in Islamic theology; they could be applied to non-religious and religious individuals alike, regardless of their belief system, since Islam aims to take a holistic look at life in a way that everyone can relate to in some form.

Our “inner senses” cannot be ignored

Humans have external senses and internal senses. External senses include sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch, and we communicate with the external world via these senses. On the other hand, internal senses are spiritual senses and are used to communicate with the inner world. They include metaphysical concepts such as the spiritual heart (qalb), soul (ruh), and different modes of cognition (sır), (hafi), and (ahfa), and much more. They are the separate depth of the heart. Humans have a wide range of uses for internal dynamics and mechanisms, and our internal and external senses should work together like two wings on a bird. Just like how we take vitamins to strengthen our physical body, we strengthen our spiritual “body” by honing our inner senses.

All of the chapters of the book are very intriguing, and it has a compelling and inspiring effect on readers to understand and apply TIIP practices. For instance, the whole chapter about “Intellect” and its methodization in Islamic Psychotherapy is remarkable. One of the most impressive indications is that the word “intellect,” which is mentioned about 50 times in the Qur’an and across various hadiths, is referred to the link between intellect and well-being. Thus, the importance of the mind is explained through a different lens. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) looks at our thoughts, feelings, and the roles that they have when it comes to how they affect our behavior. There is a direct correlation in between our thoughts, emotional health, mental wellbeing, and then our actions. The book refers to the writings of Islamic philosopher, jurist, and mystic Abu Hamid al-Ghazali and his modality in Islamic literature. Al-Ghazali offered to implement interventions among stages by addressing faulty thoughts, negative feelings, and actions. For instance, the Islamic ablution, which is often performed once before each of the five daily prayers, is given as an example during two of the stages. Those interventions would help change the focus on faulty thought and shift the state of emotion.

While the TIIP discusses the intellect it also includes three stages of “self” (nafs); the evil commanding lower self and the animalistic impulses (nafs ammarah), self-criticizing blaming stages (nafs lawwamah), and tranquil stage (nafs mutma’innah). These stages are interpreted as the spiritual elevation of the human spirit. A TIIP practitioner aims to achieve a tranquil stage for the client. TIIP gradually works with cognitive science by identifying and challenging a person’s faulty thought and then reconstructing situations, thoughts, and feelings. 

The seven stages of thought progression

In addition to the book’s description of intellect, the APSS mentions seven stages of the mind’s metacognitive dimensions and functioning system that are important information processing steps.

The first one is “imagination” (tahayyul); in this stage, false thoughts occur. The mind starts overreacting by imagining false thoughts, such as worrying about getting sick due to Covid-19 even if a person is self-quarantined and has almost no chance of getting it. In this phase, negative thoughts and apprehension happen. Then, the “envisage” (tasawwur) stage comes. Thoughts are conceptualized and shaped in this stage. An individual could start believing, or perhaps even convince themselves, that they have contracted the virus if they are constantly being exposed to negative news surrounding it. When both the imagination and envisage phases activate then thoughts start to attack an individual’s inner world. Toxic thoughts can begin entering the brain and can wreak havoc on a person in the form of abnormal behavior, anxiety, stress, and obsessive thoughts.

The fourth stage is “comprehending” (ta’aqqul), which also assess our thoughts with the goal of more clearly understanding them. Then, the “approval” (tasdiq) stage comes, and in this stage individuals understand and confirm positive thoughts in their heart. The next stage is foresight (iz’an) which starts where individuals begin to understand themselves very well and act according to their understanding. Next is favoring (iltizam). The last stage is faith (i’tikad), which involves having sincere belief, firmness, and not hesitating to act upon what a person believes to be right. The first two stages, imagination and envisage, compose the thought process and the outcomes of this process. To change faulty thoughts, individuals need to consciously intervene upon the first and second steps by “getting rid of habits.” Directly attacking the source of these negative thoughts allows a person to begin to change their faulty thinking processes. One should start with staying abstinent from being exposed to too much unhelpful information. Habits always need to be replaced in order to fill the void that is consequently made, and it is therefore recommended to engage in otherwise beneficial activities, such as reading the holy book, praying, spending time outside, engaging with people that bring joy and positive emotions, or pursuing a subject or hobby of interest.

Applying Islamic Principles to Clinical Mental Health Care: Introducing TIIP qualifies as a bedside book that every professional working with the Muslim population should read. The book structurally clarifies and demonstrates how Traditional Islamically Integrated Psychotherapy is utilized in therapy by discussing an overview of modern psychology and the traditional Islamic bibliography. Case examples are spectacularly and elaborately explained. After reading the whole concept and its case studies, readers will find answers to their questions. Whether the readers are an emotionally focused therapist, a cognitive-behavioral therapist, a behavioral therapist, or a spiritual therapy practitioner, they will benefit from this book. The book covers all four approaches under the “Treatment of the Domains of the Human Psyche” part. Therapeutic interventions can be practically implemented.

Our modern society has gone astray during much of the past several centuries. While every person is in pursuit of one thing or another, we are searching for our own soul. If we can persist on this search on a sustainable path then we can hope that the days in which we will be revived as our true selves are very close; the days when we will turn towards our true nature and win back our best values.

Enduring a most unfortunate period, the last couple of generations have renounced their warm, cozy homes and embarked upon peculiar pursuits; they either took refuge in a world of “matter,” or rather machines. They fell prey to different fantasies, let themselves fall into the maddest of delusions, and spent their lifetimes amidst insanity. At times they turned into wild mad men, and their thoughts were stained with blood. This disorder has continued up to our days and these brutal and unrelenting sins are no more bearable.

Nowadays, however, they are growing more and more aware of the void they happen to be in and have started to open the doorways for alternative thoughts – even if only a little. They have started speaking about faith; they have even started to accredit some value to the past and its wisdoms. Indeed, though it was only yesterday that they made no mention of God or His Messengers, and that they insulted believers and cursed at our historical values, today they are adorning many of their thoughts with soul and meaning, weaving their words with the silk threads of the metaphysical. For this change to hold ground with this color and harmony we want, it is important that these divine days continue uninterrupted for another quarter century. Afterwards, perhaps we can be hopeful for a prosperous future.

To this day, those who have lost their spiritual power have gone to waste just like seeds that have decayed in infertile soil. Indeed, whatever has happened to this day cannot be undone, and many have been sacrificed, honor has been destroyed, decency has been tattered, and our innocence and purity have been shaken as a punishment for misinterpreting history. From now on, we must review our intentions and wish for the best. We must always be alert and awake not to leave any voids in our feelings, thoughts, or logic that may prevent us from serving others so that our future will not become soaked in blood and tears. We must take advantage of all possible opportunities when the hurricanes subside to some extent, and where signs appear on our horizon in order to breathe life into even the most lifeless points of time so that they become the voice of common sense. We have just started to gain a feeling of the mystery, magic, and endlessness of this “book of existence” and all of its contents that are put on exhibition in the universe. We must practice active patience, remain alert, and be prudent so that we are not held back and pushed further away from what is close at hand until the day the meaning and wisdom found in this “book of existence” become evident with the help of the sciences and allow us to learn the purpose of our lives. We must be careful to not suffer any spiritual or moral loss on what seems to be a winning path.

Indeed, in this apparently calm yet active period, as the promised divine days have started to break with their colorful flow, we must knead the dough of spirit and meaning that will shape the enlightened generation that represents the future. They will bear this spirit on their shoulders with their own coat of arms made of hues and patterns unique to them. We must knead that dough in our safe basins and in the best form we can so that our society will be able to step onto new lively formations with a rich heritage of thought and consciousness of history. While we, as a society, strive to realize this very significant task, there will be those who either knowingly or not will try to object to these vital efforts, not to mention those who will underestimate, belittle, and even reject the efforts altogether. In response to all of these hindrances, on one hand, we will make a great effort to strengthen our free will by starving the roots of our evil inclinations while uplifting our capacity to do good; on the other hand, we will exhibit a sensitivity to not allow any intellectual or logical voids in our plans and projects as we strive to advance with a purity of intention. We believe that because our ultimate goal is the consent of God and our provisions along the way are faith and sincerity, God will raise us with advances of mercy and favor along the way. No matter where we happen to be, we will be nurtured through His manifestations.  

Yes, as we close our eyes and fill ourselves with the exhilaration of serving God Almighty, the seeds we scatter throughout the four corners of the world will, through His Divine will, certainly find life one day. Even those we think have been lost will sway like ever-blooming ears of grain, and they will sing the melody of their good fortune when the season is right.

With favor and mercy from God, we will walk into the future with “faith and knowledge” taking the lead as “thought and worship” will be closely knit together. We will do our best to conform to “causes” and submit to God with a tight embrace in full acceptance of His will (tawakkul). Our hope will be the source of our action, and our patience will follow right behind like a trusted companion. Even retributions will be considered a blessing, and each blessing – just like an unexpected advance – are references to the reliability of the true source of everything.

We will walk, and He will always guide and protect us and will never abandon us throughout our journey. We will walk, as the light from the waves of the eternal worlds will manifest in our eyes, while our ears will have the ability to receive the truest of words without error, and our hearts will beat with inspirations of wisdom. This can be possible if we can maintain our relationship with Him as our Creator and us as the created, and do not forsake His kind favors to “familiarity” and monotony, for this may fade away “colors and freshness” like the winds of autumn.

We will walk away from today’s lethargic masses to discover the enlightened generations who offer much promise for a brand-new world. We will walk away from them without tarnishing the image of, or slandering, anyone by planning our thoughts according to our actions and carrying out our actions as lifeguards do so that others may live. We will do this to prove that there really are passengers who can be void of blood and grime, and void of revenge and hatred. We will keep walking without stumbling on our path and will not be obstructed by any obstacles along the way. We do not, and cannot, claim to pardon the thousand and one incidents of murder and brigandage that we have been witnesses to. When the laws and rights of the public are the matters at hand, the feeling of forgiveness and pardoning transforms into a feeling of justice, and the style of living closes off to inhumane behavior of any kind. Yes, it is requisite of one’s respect for humanity to transform goodness – and the bridges leading to goodness – into avenues and to award those who want to go on this destination. Likewise, respect for the human being also requires the prevention of evil and stopping those who engage in evil. Indeed, goodness must always be recognized and praised, and, at the same time, people must be warned against sins so that no one avoids accountability by saying, “The fault is not ours; we were driven to these ways.”

Those who think in this manner are actually trying to take refuge in such inconsistent excuses in order to escape the responsibility of their present wretchedness and misery. In fact, they can be described as disoriented and decayed souls that have been unable to appreciate and comprehend the distinction of being human. It is a fact that those who carry the spirit of true humanity have no other choice than to assume part of the responsibility that belongs to the society in which they too have risen and flourished. Such a sense of responsibility is the requisite of a humane spirit, comprehension, and thought – not to mention the command and will of the One who has equipped the human being with such dynamics. Provided that their conscience has not decayed completely, become atrophied, or that understanding has not died, it is unthinkable for a human being to be negligent of such a responsibility.

In terms of the contemplation of being truly human, we hold ourselves accountable for current mishaps and for the sake of the peace and security of tomorrow’s world. When we say “the human being” and “culture” we wish to underline once more the priority of “faith,” which is the first stage of true liberty and the only source of light to guide us to the final destination.

Indeed, the first phase and the highest priority in reviving out-of-control generations to their true human form is by embedding faith and all that it promises into the depths of their nature and character, and to ensure their continuity. Explaining to generations and feeding their souls with both the apparent and hidden aspects of existence by imbuing them with the culture of faith and making it possible for them to embrace all things with compassion will serve to liberate the generations who we have failed to keep under control and whose disintegration we have been unable to prevent. A spirit that is not cleansed through faith cannot be pulled completely away from savagery, avoid aggression, love or compromise with other people, and, above all, cannot begin to reach towards the heavens. It is inevitable for such a person to be tainted by greedy ambitions and to live a life full of grudges and hatred, and to have their heart be blackened with grime. Truly, faith enables the human to hear, listen, and interpret existence in a completely different way by imbuing knowledge and love of the eternal, building a connection with all of existence, and by moderating hatred and flaws. It saves a person from the misery of disorientation.

At the present time, generations from every walk of life who have reached such deep levels of faith, and thus – though weak at the present moment – hold promise and hope for the future, must be imbued with a zeal for service to humanity and a feeling of responsibility and duty free from the promise of fame, fortune, or status. They must be nurtured to have no expectations for recompense so that they neither dive into thoughts of gaining support from any government, from the public, or centers of power so that they will not raise their hopes for future prosperity. In this way, strong structures that flourish with knowledge and wisdom will light the lanterns of our thoughts in every corner, and we will not be held back by certain desires and ambitions. Instead, we will continue on with feelings of altruism, purity in our souls, seeking God’s good will and consent, and always aware that He is the one who employs us in this service.

The fact that a love for Divine Truth holds great importance, in itself, is also something that should certainly be underlined. The power that forms when reading, contemplating, studying, and researching are united with a love of connecting to the truth – for the sole fact that it is the truth – would, I believe, be enough to open the doors for the whole universe. For centuries, while certain nations have been lifted towards the skies through a love of the truth, even if only in certain fields, others have always been the ones to watch from afar with a desire and longing to imitate their success. They have taken it in with a sigh, watching like paralyzed spirits that are bound by the chains which enclose our feelings and thoughts. Nowadays, even if we can appreciate the fact that this important matter is at least being articulated, syllable by syllable by a certain group of people, it is still difficult to say that it is being handled in the mindset of true scientific thinking. We are in need of true scientific thinking that has, with its cultural and ethical dimensions, settled over the blockade of belief in the truth and will awaken in our souls a thought of physical and spiritual transformation towards the heavenly realms. The constant development of thought, the transformation of theory into practice, and the promise of advancement that such a transformation holds have, so far, only been possible, and will only be possible, through the push of such scientific thinking. True scientific thinking is what is fundamental; science and technology, on the other hand, are merely products derived from it. We are witnesses to the many high caliber individuals, to the heroes of determination, to such great performances, and lifetimes dedicated to this cause.

Those who will reconstruct the future will come from among these heroes. They will turn around this narrow, contaminated world, won over by adversities, to construct a wider, purified and more harmonious world that will remind us of heavenly beauties. They will do this to the extent that we are able to teach them love for the truth, the spirit of research, and the nuance of renewal. This will raise them to a level where they are able to distinguish between what does and does not belong to the roots of spirituality and meaning.

While the generations that have been connected with these dynamics and have reached a love for truth are considered the heroes of their own people, the disoriented masses who have lost their souls and meaning will always be considered a source of shame and dishonor and will darken the future of our society.

We foster the hopes that our intellectuals who stand in a position of influence will take advantage of the opportunities at hand, prepare future generations to the throne of hearts, and turn the pits of failure into zeniths of victory.

The Example of the First Circle around the Prophet and Those Who Followed Them

So much so a source of blessings was the Prophet Muhammad, according to the Islamic tradition, that he always had followers who embodied the same spirit and devotion. Those who had the opportunity to be close to the Prophet and witness his person with their eyes and hearts lived in a constant state of rapture with this delight. They walked in his footsteps with the excitement of being imbued with that state, and they always made sure this path that led to him was filled with travelers. Hundreds of thousands have taken wing towards him, their eyes always eagerly fixed on this first “Circle” around the Prophet, and their hearts willing to behold what lies beyond. Watchful for the furthest horizons, they have taught the manners of this journey to those who staggered on their way.

For those who are on this path, faith in God (iman) is a lively source of excitement in hearts. Knowledge (marifa) and love of God (muhabba) are as a sparkling torch in feelings and thoughts. Their eagerness to meet the real owner of everything sheds light on their way as a projector that brightens up the roads extending to eternity. They have walked without falter to the beyond with eagerness for reunion with God (liqa‘ullah), which is a never-fading source of energy in feelings and thoughts; their hearts always beating with the excitement of beholding the very horizons of those in the Circle. They ran in the direction of this Circle without fatigue, but with an insightful perspective of what they saw, with a resolution for journeying in the realms beyond the horizons by means of their mechanism of conscience, their hearts permeated with the awe of this state and the entirety of their physical and spiritual anatomy in full resonance.

Their faith and spiritual knowledge are of the deepest kind. They are thoroughly equipped in both material and spiritual senses, and they entirely leave behind worldliness and materialism. They disregard dirty urges of the carnal soul and its temptations. Though they soar in heavenly realms, their hearts still keep quivering in fear. They keep groaning as if they were the sinful ones in this world. They question themselves with the deepest concerns day and night, and they always have considerations as expressed in:

If the All-Merciful One weighs my sins as they are,
I fear the scales on the Day of Judgment will break.

They keep sighing night and day out of fear, as if they have committed some wrongdoing despite their already glorious spiritual rank. Humility is at the core of their existence. They feel disgusted by receiving appreciation and applause. They hate glory, prestige, and pomp. They always behave as an ordinary person among other people. Acknowledging that all goodness, achievements, and extraordinary qualities come from their Creator, bowing is no more enough for them to show their gratitude, they go down to prostration in reverence.

I am a slave who is not worth all this grace,
I wonder why I am favored so bountifully. (M. Lutfi)

With these feelings, they continue to be relentless in their self-criticism, and are immersed in expressions of humility and self-effacement. They adopt the following important principle of the Qur’an as a part of their character: “(O human being!) Whatever good happens to you, it is from God; and whatever evil befalls you, it is from yourself” (4:79). They do not forget their single mistake or lapse which weighs so heavily on their shoulders, even after many, many years. They forget or disregard the good things that they made or accomplished which may have helped thousands of people. Even if the thought of crediting themselves for a dazzling accomplishment or triumph crosses their minds, they dismiss such thoughts and acknowledge all success to be from God as a grace for people’s collective work and solidarity. These are the character traits of the devoted souls walking on the path of the All-Truthful One, and such is the constant state of monumental personages whose hearts are completely oriented with the ones in the Circle, seeking God’s approval.

Now, with broken statements of mine, I wish to narrate examples of facing oneself from some loyal servants of God, whose eyes and hearts were with the members of the Circle. My words can only represent a few drops from their immense ocean.

As one of the radiant fruits of the blessed tree of the Prophet’s family, Imam Zayn al-Abidin (659-713) was a prominent person of sublime virtues. His father was Husayn (the Prophet’s grandson), his grandmother was Fatima (the Prophet’s daughter), and his grandfather was Ali, the prince of the chivalrous, and his great grandfather was the noble Prophet, peace be upon him. Zayn al-Abidin was a fortunate person who opened his eyes to the world in such a bright ethos and flourished with heavenly water of life, had his heart and spirit always set on God so much so that his path never ever crossed sins even in his dreams. Wherever he turned his eyes, he was enraptured by a view of the Circle. He kept soaring high towards that source of blessed inspiration with a desire and eagerness of reunion with his noble family.

He was always permeated with such feelings and thoughts; he always desired and aimed to be on that blessed course. Yet, he always committed himself to the Divine, assigned no worth to himself, and constantly engaged in self-effacement, a state of being which Seyyid Nigari describes in his own way as follows:

Can one who seeks the Beloved care about his own soul?
Can one seeking to live be concerned for the Beloved?

And thus Zayn al-Abidin kept seeking God and completely closed his eyes to all else, because he was in a state of constant exposure to the Circle, with the sight of both his eyes and heart. His heart would beat with the excitement of being under the same light with them, and he would live with a zest for servanthood to God. Among his prayers constantly offered are the following supplications, which I do my best to convey here, but do so by focusing more on the meaning rather than the exact wording; I do not constrain myself to vocabulary limitations. Instead of rendering all of his supplications here in full, what follow are his heartbreaking cries which I occasionally interpolate with short phrases to offer my personal take on some of his words, so hoping that his inner groans are better internalized first by myself and others like me:

“My God! The wrongs and sins I have been committing have put a mantle of abasement on my soul. By remaining apart from You (O Imam, have your ever been apart? FG) I have found myself in a state of poverty. The gigantic wrongs that I have committed (no way, a hundred thousand times no! FG) have darkened my heart. I seek refuge in You, God Almighty, my only Besought and Beloved! Please accept me as I turn to Your door with serious repentance, and bless me with a fresh revival as if I have been revived after death (if you are not alive, then how should those unfortunate “walking dead” like myself wail? FG). I swear I never knew anyone but You (O God), and in spite of everything, here I submissively expect to be forgiven in Your presence. If you expel this slave of Yours, which door can I ever turn to and with whom can I ever seek refuge? If I am expelled from that door, I will utterly be in a pitiable and shameful condition!”

O dear Imam Abidin, we have studied you and others like you in the literature of the Prophet’s life, and have come to recognize you with your humble face turned down and with your heartfelt supplications. If the cause of your wailing is the temporary fog that occasionally seeps into your imagination during dreams, if this is the factor that triggers your groans, how fortunate you are. And how pitiable are unfortunate ones of our time such as myself who live their entire lives in that fog and smoke, and the so-called theologians who assume themselves to be religious!

Zayn al-Abidin does not suffice with his above prayers. Below he opens another page in his compositions of wails:

“O the Exalted Lord who even forgives the greatest sins and embraces stricken hearts with compassion! I wish and beg You to pardon my disgracing sins and hide away my shameful wrongs and forgive this slave of Yours, in the warm atmosphere of Your forgiveness, along with those whom You saved with Your clemency and mercy.”

I wish it could be possible to find at least a hundredth of these wailings in the spiritual world of those who spend their life in places of worship, who put on airs in Sufi lodges, who waste their lives in nests of heedlessness appearing to be religious schools, and those so-called believers whose faith does not pass beyond imitation and who spend their lives in self-glorification saying “I did this, I did that.”

Zayn al-Abidin continues to open up to God, his yearnings now reaching a peak:

“If repentance and penitence are titles for a heartfelt remorse, so I swear I repent a thousand times for all I committed! If asking forgiveness from You is a means of being absolved from sins, so I cry with truly heartfelt remorse and wish You to forgive this poor servant of Yours!”

With my full respect to him, I skip some of his expressions of sigh and wailing and jump to the following one:

“O God! You are the One who has opened wide the gates of sincere repentance for Your servants and informed us with this glad tidings. You decree “O you who believe! Turn to God in sincere and reforming repentance” (Qur’an 66:8) and thus summon us to the chamber of Your oneness. Those who turn to this door You have opened will hopefully find what they expect, as a result of Your grace. Sins and wrongs certainly are not becoming for servants, but there is no doubt that You are so magnanimous at forgiveness and clemency.

Let us add the following to that:

Bestow on us, O my Sovereign, do not deprive the poor of your bestowals
Is it becoming for the Munificent Bestower to stop bestowing on His slaves? (M. Lutfi)

Yearning souls always presented their petition with this gist of imploring. If it will not be disrespect against the Almighty, I also share these considerations.

I have recently been very intrigued about moods, specifically how our moods biologically change. The processes behind why we get happy, sad, or angry are integral to our existence, and having some insight into how exactly they come about could help us grow immensely. 

In my search for answers, I discovered Dr. Masaru Emoto (d. 2014), a Japanese scientist that had dedicated his life to studying water. Dr. Emoto’s studies claim that thoughts, feelings, words, ideas, music, and even names affect the molecular structure of water and thus our physical reality. During his study, Dr. Emoto discovered that water droplets that had been repeatedly exposed to positive or negative words, profoundly changed the water’s color, shape, and symmetry.

His first experiment involved putting distilled water into small jars, writing a word or short phrase on a label, and then taping that label to each jar. The jars were then left overnight on their own. Some of these words had positive associations such as “self-love,” “beauty,” “passion,” and “happiness.” Other jars had negative associations such as “evil,” “hatred,” or phrases such as “you disgust me.” Each jar then had a small amount of water flash frozen in order to form crystals, which were then observed under a microscope. The results were astonishing; the positive words formed beautiful, symmetrical crystals that looked very similar to snowflakes while the negative words were discolored, chaotic, and fragmented.

His revolutionary findings were published in his book, The Hidden Message in Water. However, Dr. Emoto’s work was met with criticism, skepticism, and confusion. Other commentators were concerned that Dr. Emoto did not do enough to share his approaches or provide sufficient evidence for his experiments.

He decided to take the experiments a step further and wanted to see what would happen to a large amount of water over an extended period of time. His famous “Rice Experiment” involved putting the same amount of rice in three different jars and then adding the same amount of distilled water into the jars. He then closed the jars and labeled each jar with a different word. On the first jar, he labeled it with the phrase “Thank You”; the second jar with the phrase “You are an idiot”; and the third jar was left with a blank label. Every day, for 30 days, he visited each jar and read aloud their corresponding label to the jar for one minute and tracked the changes in each jar over the month. By the end of the month, he had noticed that the water in the jar labeled “Thank you” had started to ferment, giving off a strong, pleasant aroma. The water in the jar that was labeled “You are an idiot” turned black with an unpleasant shape. The most interesting result, in my opinion, was the last jar with the blank label that had been ignored the entire time. It turned into a nasty green-blue color as opposed to staying near its original color. His results were consistent with his previous experiments with smaller jars, and it appeared that there was a trend. I was astounded by these discoveries and could hardly believe it, so I decided to try it for myself. My daughter and I did the same experiment as a part of her science fair project. To our amazement, we got very similar results within just 19 days. This experiment was a great lesson regarding the impact that our words have on others for my children beyond being just a science fair project. 

Dr. Emoto concluded his findings by stating that water is a “blueprint for our reality” and that emotional “energies” and “vibrations” could change the physical structure of water. It is imperative to remember that water is life; about 70% of the human body, and almost two thirds of the world, is made up of water. Therefore, everything happening around us, our thoughts, our attitudes, our behaviors, and our intentions are related to each other and can affect our emotions. Scientists still need to figure out how exactly these changes in water may affect our bodies and our world, but the results are clear for all to see.

This puts more responsibility on our shoulders to be responsible human beings. We should always think, speak, and act positively if we also want our surrounding environments to be positive.

There is also a great lesson in this study for teachers and educators. We teachers come across a variety of students at various ages all throughout the school year. Our interactions with them can have a very real impact on their lives, minds, and futures for better or worse. Every year we are given around 25 jars of rice with water, to represent 25 students, in each class with no label on them. We meet with them at the beginning of the year with no bias towards any of them. They are each a perfectly clean slate in our eyes, a new jar of distilled water and rice waiting to either ferment or rot. We then, consciously or subconsciously, label them in our minds and hearts; the students labeled “jar 1” receive praise and compliments; some students are labeled “jar 2” and are told that they will fail or are troublemakers; while the last group is labeled “jar 3” and is largely ignored due to their own shyness and/or our indifference. If you are a teacher or interact with children on a consistent basis, it is more than likely you already had hundreds or thousands of jars by now and now you can ask yourself that how many of them finished the year in better shape than the beginning of the year. How many of them were labeled as “jar 1”,”jar 2” or “jar 3”? When I close my eyes and think about all the years I taught, I am not sure if I was able to treat all the jars with positive attitude.

I believe everyone had an experience about how our tone of talk or our answers changed the heat of the discussion. As stated in the Bible, “a soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger” (Proverbs 15:1). Sometimes a simple small word could change your life completely in a positive way or a negative way. Our modes, attitudes and the language we use, impact the people around us and most of the time we are not fully aware of its extent.

Both positive and negative thinking or thoughts are contagious. When we see cheerful friends around us, we feel our days a bit brighter, or we feel down when we talk to grumpy people. Positive attitudes, positive thinking and positive thoughts do change our lives. Bediuzzaman Said Nursi put it well: “A person who sees the good in things develop good thoughts. And he who has good thoughts receives pleasure from life.” People who can develop positive thinking will more likely have a healthy, happy, and successful life, and they can overcome struggles more easily. If you want to have a healthy, good looking, warm environment that is productive and gives a pleasant time, you need to use positive, encouraging and soft language to make it happen. It is in our hands to improve our world with love and gratitude.

Positive thoughts lead to good feelings, good deeds, and diminish negativity, make our hearts delighted. Whereas negative thoughts generate bad feelings, hatred, jealousy, anger, depression, stress, and negative emotions which cloud our soul and lead to an unhealthy life. To be able to stay healthy emotionally and psychologically we have to immediately turn ourselves to positive thinking when we feel we are surrounded with negativities. The Prophet Muhammad, the Messenger of God (peace be upon him) said “Follow a bad deed with a good deed and it will erase it.” We may not have full control initially over the types of thoughts that cross our minds every moment, however we have the ability to ignore or pursue them as prescribed by the Prophet, peace be upon him: “Whoever believes in God and the Last Day, let him speak good or remain silent.”

References

● https://www.masaru-emoto.net

● Beyond Words Publishing www.beyondword.com.

● https://hado.com/ihm/water-crystals/

● Source: Sunan al-Tirmidhī 1987, Grade: Sahih

● Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 6110, Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi

● https://www.csicop.org/specialarticles/show/a_grain_of_truth_recreating_dr._emotos_rice_experiment

● Gray, Donna (July 26, 2003). “Message in the water.”Calgary Herald. p. S8. Retrieved 2019-04-21 – via ProQuest..

There is anticipation in the air. People from all walks of life are vigilant, waiting for a ray of light to shine upon them. Their eyes are fixed on the horizon, expecting the rise of a “true dawn,” and their hopes are spurred at each trace of light in the east. When they cannot see what they were expecting, they groan with disappointment, yet turn again to their horizon of hope and wonder, “when is the sunrise?” They lower their heads and set sail to another broken dream. Remembering the glorious days of old and seeing the fearful images of today, they sing songs of sorrow and drift in the high and low tides of hope and despair.

Horrific scenes of disintegration are seen on all sides as we witness more than ever before defiled feelings, darkened spirits floundering in the pus, hopes knocked down over and over, dead hearts that do not see and cannot understand, paralyzed souls, trashed consciences that have no horizons and are blind to what lies beyond. Ears are deaf to heavenly voices; eyes – persistently denying their nature – misread and misunderstand laws of creation; minds are intoxicated with positivism, naturalism, materialism, and all that nonsense that don’t fit within the framework of reason. Thus buried are the brightest truths in the darkest of the dark and with the darkest of souls. It is like a long gloomy night blackened by pitch-black thoughts of pharaohs.

On the other end of the spectrum, those who can fathom the mysteries and truths of humankind are but a few. Still, as whips lash above their heads, their mouths are zipped up, and their hands are cuffed, all they can do is wait for an extraordinary Divine help. Those who keep their hopes alive move on, saying, “God is enough; the rest is a passing desire.” Sometimes, they breathe by uttering the words of the poet:

Let the world come with all its causes of suffering,
Call me a traitor if I turn back on my struggle for the people. (N. Kemal)

Problems have reached the furthest boundaries; brute force is rampant; persecution and violence are blindingly daring; every corner is filled with helpless masses that moan and grieve. The sovereigns whose hearts have been captured by the devil and the elite who are somewhat lettered but whose eminence is but on the surface do not hear these groans. Even if they hear, they do not care; on the contrary they applaud the tyranny, praise the tyrant, and strive to become like the vizier Haman [1] to the Pharaohs. What is left for the victims, is to suffer.

God gave humankind reason and heart so we can discover and understand the inner truths of existence. Failing to use these to discern the developments around us and what they stand for will cause us to fail to maintain the quality of “the perfect pattern of creation” [2]; we may not even be aware of this failure. For those who fell from this status, life has been wasted in a vicious cycle of diversions and slips; they confuse the white with the black, the flower with the thorn. For them, the beauty of a rose becomes unfathomable; the songs of nightingale are the caws of a crow. Saving themselves from these crooked thoughts is rare, leading them to err one after another, and to become lower than their level of creation. While their feet are stuck in pitch-dark thoughts, their spirits drift aimlessly in all directions, and their hearts deform at all levels. They are headed to disintegration and to an inevitable naught.

As a matter of fact, there is a crystal-clear path, a way to be released from these deviations, a path that those who lead a life in the orbit of their carnality are unable to see. Everything points to the direction of this path in every possible language and style. The way out is to know and believe in the All-Glorious One as He is; to look into existence and events with the lens of such a Divine knowledge and make analyses accordingly; to explore the natural phenomena with what lies beyond their material being; to study the mysteries that underlie the essence of humankind; to apply mathematical decoding to all the known universe; to evaluate the Earth and all that is found here; and to continue all this work without a break.

Such firm persistence will lead to exploration of human nature, with its physical and metaphysical dimensions. It will turn the human into a projector that will show how to read the book of the universe, for a person is but a comprehensive index of the universe. Reading the book of the universe accurately is a vital prescription for us humans who can reason. This is how humans can gather themselves together, be protected from all kinds of deviations, and will reconquer themselves. This is how we will be saved from being dragged by whims, will be guided by knowledge, and we will cherish the relief and reassurance of turning to the One, will love Him, and will sing songs of love and reunion.

Unless there is a special Divine grace, it is not possible for the unfortunate ones who are unable to read and discover their profound nature to know and love the Unique Faithful Beloved; to surpass their physical and carnal aspects and move forward in accordance with the purpose of their creation, to overcome all humanly errors and soar for a reunion with Him.

The path to attaining knowledge of the Unique Truth and to be guided to Him require engaging in serious contemplation and deep thinking, and thereby reaching accurate assessments about one’s self. Such a frame of mind becomes a means for the gifts of faith and Divine knowledge, which all together will be of service to the person, allowing them to fathom their reason for existing, what they are expected to do with this life, and the content of the Divine message that has been blown into our souls with the breaths of Prophets. Then they start becoming aware of their status vis-à-vis all of existence, turning their faces gradually in the right direction. Having grasped their purpose, they let themselves flow with the current leading to the Ultimate Purpose. The journey becomes paths of discovery, as the person realizes all material and spiritual depths are the keys to the mystery of existence. They start hearing invitations from deeper realities at each departure from the shore towards the endless horizons, turning their back on all those that are destined to disappear. They build greenhouses against disintegration and hold themselves to account on how to live and behave. As they strain further in their spiritual struggle, they appear as role models and awaken those who are asleep with the hymns of the dawn. They guide to God those who can purify themselves from arrogance, vanity, and narcissism.

On the other hand, there are those unwise souls who think looking is the same as seeing. They are unable to hear the humming of all that exists in all corners of the universe in their unique languages of disposition; they cannot comprehend their precious status in the midst of everything. They keep their ears closed to sounds and tunes from what lies beyond the physical realms. Theirs is the life of the blind and the deaf. While every letter of the universe cries out for the One, they are far from understanding it. Deprived of senses and enthusiasm, these unfortunate souls live like moving corpses who regret the inner pains of their contradictions.

The discovery of phenomena occurs via one’s self-discovery. The human mind, spirit, and all other faculties become lenses to see even deeper, spurring feelings that ask for even more. It is without doubt that such a constant search does not go unrewarded. Then, the truth of this heavenly word is revealed: “Those who know themselves begin looking for Me; those who look for Me will surely find Me” [3]. This search is what being in the “perfect pattern of creation” entails.

But the humans unaware of their status vis-à-vis the Divine constantly trip; their lives are no different than those of life forms that eat, drink, and sleep, indifferent to the outer world. They are plagued with the pressing fears of eventual ruin. They try to avoid these fears and run away from themselves by seeking fun, drunkenness, and various forms of hypnosis. Theirs becomes a life wasted, and when the time comes, the candle of life is blown out, leaving them in the hands of the inescapable end they have always feared.

Today, there are so many who are navigated not by their reason but the devil, enslaved by their carnal desires, and who have set sail to waters of rebellion. They act in opposition to what their hearts and spirits call them to; their thoughts are paralyzed, and the qualities that make them human have fallen apart.

Good character has disappeared, indecency is everywhere
How many ugly faces
were covered by that thin veil of morals!
Loyalty, honoring covenants, and trust
are nowhere to be found.
Lies, betrayals are all around, and truth is unknown.
O Lord! No strand of hair shudders of this scene,
How disastrous a revolution this has been.
Religion and faith are no more;
religion is destroyed, faith is a mirage
Let all the pride go and hearts turn mute
Freedom is no more
when this moral decay is underway! (M. Akif)

It is useless to expect anything from those whose knowledge of themselves is the least. Falsehood is disguised as truth and has set its throne in so many hearts. Those who masquerade as the elite whose job is otherwise to convey the true message and the raw souls who are merchants of religion act as “mute devils” – turn their faces away from atrocities and say nothing to prevent them, inviting even more trouble. Conspiracies are staged as truth and masses are manipulated so deceitfully that even the devils are ashamed.

All of these negativities started at a time when societies lost their true identities; call it our luck, or rather bad luck, that our times have witnessed their flourishing to unprecedented heights. We do not wish this, but it looks like they will continue to shape our future until we patch up the wear and tear of the last few centuries and reach days of revival.

The first step of such a blessed revival would be to establish our connection with the Divine as His servants and the place He has ordained for us in the universe. When the fog clears, and we can finally see the true Ka‘ba, we will turn in the same direction and seek opportunities of harmony and unity. As we will offer our unity as a call for help and success from the Divine, we will and should aspire to attain our true human status.

Among the major principles of this revival would be to think systematically, look comprehensively, question the authenticity of our current knowledge, be freed from the disease of imitation, and trample the filth of arrogance, conceit, and egotism under our feet. Those who put themselves first and are chained to their ego are in fact humiliating themselves.

You are unaware of yourself, so it seems
O humankind, you think you are a lowly being
If only you knew
Your essence is precious, even more so than angels
Hidden in you are the worlds, wrapped are the universes.

Those who become aware of their value leave behind their ego and move on so their remoteness to the One is shortened. As they are welcomed by heavenly beings into unreachable horizons, they abandon all worldly recognition and glory and cherish the discovery of their own nature. Then, not only the deceiving beauties of the world, but even the pleasures of the heavens, become invisible to their eyes. They live calling on the One with the words of Yunus: “I need You and You only.” Those who call on the world and are trapped in the beauties of this false life are fooled by assumptions and aspirations of an eternal life here and tend to ignore an eternal life there. Their minds and hearts are mortgaged by luxurious mansions and fleets of ships they own. I do not want to defile my language for them, and leave them with their fate to be recorded in history books, for this is not what the cavalries of light are expecting; with torches in their hands these cavalries are hunting for light and striving to attain whatever God wills for them.

God renders evils into goodness,
Don’t think He does otherwise. 
The wise will wait and behold His works;
What God will do, let’s wait and see 
Surely beautiful it will be.

Notes

1. While Haman in the Hebrew Bible is a vizier in the Persian Empire under King Ahasuerus, the Qur’an refers to this name in 40:36 as the vizier of the Pharaoh in the time of Moses, peace be upon him: “The Pharaoh said: ‘O Haman! Build me a lofty tower so that I may attain the ways, the ways of (peering into) the skies, and that I may have a look at the God of Moses, though I surely think that he is a liar.’”
2. Qur’an 95:4.
3. This quote is narrated in books concerning Sufism as a hadith qutsi – a saying, the meaning of which is from God and the wording of which was inspired in the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him. This saying is considered to be the gist or kernel of all explanations concerning knowledge of God.

Question: Is having bad opinion of others actually self-inflicting?

Answer: “When you hear a man say, ‘The people are ruined,’ he himself is the most ruined of them all.”[1] Since this blessed statement is a pithy one, it conveys many truths. One of the truths conveyed by this saying by Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, pertains to making false assumptions or having bad opinions about others. Vilifying others, even to the degree of declaring them to be ruined, almost always stems from such false assumptions. However, the noble Prophet points out that the one who makes such sinful statements is actually the most ruined one.

Those who idolize their ego seek others to blame

The underlying motive behind such invective is egotism, ego-centrism, and even narcissism. If a person is vilifying everybody and finding faults in them, it means that they are idolizing themselves unawares. A person devoid of positive thinking but fixed on negative thoughts can even use their false assumptions to criticize very important acts of worship by others, questioning their sincerity in their prayers.

Such a thought should be accosted by the Prophet’s warning, “Did you cleave his heart open to check it out?”[2] We cannot know anyone’s heart. A person who seems to neglectfully observe prayer may actually be observing it with deep feeling. Viewing others’ acts of worship with bias and assuming them to be sanctimonious is a terrible form of false assumption. Such a false assumption may cause a person to end up in utter spiritual loss. God Almighty forbids baseless suspicions, in a definite and clear fashion, with the following Divine decree: “O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion, for some suspicion is a grave sin (liable to God’s punishment); and do not spy (on one another…)” (al-Hujurat 49:12).

While considering others, it is always necessary to view them in a positive light, as far as there is a possible basis for it. Even if a person has only one aspect that allows positive thinking, one must still take it and avoid negative thinking. On the other hand, while viewing ourselves, we must be self-critical to the degree of worrying about the possibility of having spoilt our good deeds by showing off.

Someone who outwardly seems to have a weak connection with God, owing to poor observance of individual worship, can be someone who always speaks truthfully in interpersonal relations and never lies. We must interpret this attitude of theirs as a result of their God-consciousness and say, “Given that this person is so scrupulous about refraining from lying, then they must have a very strong relation with God.”

Similarly, imagine a person who is very vigilant against unlawful gain, does not even eat a forbidden morsel, and refuses to take an undeserved payment for a task they did not carry out. This person’s behaviors are so praiseworthy that one can only assume his or her special connection with the Divine.

Balance: think positively, but with caution

If we refrain from going to extremes but seek the ideal conduct on this matter, we must never disregard the following principle: for those people whose ups and downs we witness, we should still think positively, but with caution. If the person we view with positive thoughts occasionally strays from the line of uprightness, then they may not be a mature and perfect person, as we see them to be. In this respect, even if we entertain positive thoughts about that certain person, we should not fail to act cautiously about certain issues, such as giving them some vital responsibilities or entrusting them with very important tasks. However, we should know that even in such a case, we do not have the right to adopt statements that convey negative thoughts while giving an account of that person. We cannot say things like, “I do not have much trust in such and such person; they are not really trustworthy.”

While viewing others we should think that even the simplest deeds can be a means of salvation for them. We should overlook their faults and avoid speaking negatively about them. A particular example from the time of the noble Prophet provides important lessons to believers in this respect.

In the early period of the prohibition of alcohol, one Companion was caught drunk many times and was severely reprimanded. Once, he was brought to the presence of the Messenger of God, peace and blessings be upon him, and reprimanded for the same offense. One of those present reacted to him with words like, “May God curse you! What a bad person you are! How many times it has been, and you are still brought to his presence like this?”

Upon hearing this, the noble Prophet said, “Do not speak like this; do not help Satan against your brother with such words. I swear by God, he loves God and His Messenger very much!”[3] So we should constantly view others through this perspective of the Messenger of God, peace and blessings be upon him.

Positive thinking: a very beautiful form of worship

One must especially avoid making false assumptions when considering the volunteers devoted to serving for the sake of faith and the Qur’an—those who have a relationship with God, His Messenger, and the Qur’an. A believer must heed the following warning of the Messenger of God, peace and blessings be upon him:

“Whoever shames his brother for a sin, he shall not die until he (himself) commits it.”[4] In this respect, one should be fearful, shaking in anguish with the consideration, “I saw such negative things in certain persons, but what if others see such things in me, my spouse, or my children?”

A real believer must be careful with his thoughts about others, no matter who they are. A real believer must act cautiously. As it is known, tayaqquz, which means being ever-vigilant, is the first step of spiritual journeying. A believer must always walk on the path of God with open eyes, channel his thoughts in the positive way as much as possible, and must definitely not commit the sin of false assumption. In addition, the noble Prophet points to positive thinking as a lofty horizon, stating that, “Entertaining good thoughts stem from a person’s good worship.”[5]

Together with positive thinking we should not fail to act cautiously and build barriers against those who take delight in biting others like poisonous snakes and are continually trying to cause harm. However, acting cautiously in this respect should not stop you from praying to God to grant guidance to those who devise various conspiracies against you.

In the face of the mistreatment and oppressions you go through, God has granted you the possibility of a different preference. If you wish, it is possible for you to say, “My God, please vanquish them, shatter their alliances, bring their schemes to nothing, and let them fall into their own traps!” Saying all of these is your right, in accordance with the judgment of the verse, “If you have to respond to any wrong, respond (only) to the measure of the wrong done to you” (an-Nahl 16:126). If somebody is oppressing you, preparing different conspiracies against you, or setting traps against you, it will be your lawful right to make moves to reverse these. Together with that, the verse continues, “but if you endure patiently, it is indeed better for the patient…,” and states that even in terms of personal rights, it is better for you to show patience and not give up gentlemanliness.

Footnotes

[1] Sahih Muslim, Birr, 139; Sunan Abu Dawud, Adab, 77; Imam Malik, Al-Muwatta, Kalam, 2.

[2] Sahih al-Bukhari, Maghazi, 45; Sahih Muslim, Iman, 158.

[3] Sahih al-Bukhari, Hudud, 4-5; Abdurrazzaq, Al-Musannaf, 7/381, 9/246.

[4] Sunan at-Tirmidhi, Sifatu’l-Qiyamah, 53; Tabarani, Al-Mu’jam al-Awsat, 7/191.

[5] Sunan Abu Dawud, Adab, 81; Ahmad ibn Hanbal, Al-Musnad, 2:297.

When you ride a rollercoaster for the first time you feel a surge of emotions that grab, terrify, and haunt you all at once – well, at least at the start. But once you get over that first drop, that first mind bending, gut wrenching drop, you suddenly realize that your life isn’t over. And not only is your life not over, it’s also exciting anticipating what else is around the corner.  When the adrenaline takes over, the fear of the impending disaster dissipates.

That’s what pregnancy was for me. I had the initial fear seeing the digital test flash “pregnant.” That fear wasn’t because it wasn’t planned – technically, we did plan. We got married, bought the nice house in a subdivision, and had a fantastic waiting period of five years so that we could explore married life without kids. The fear was the feeling of “oh no, what have we done?!”

And I wasn’t the only one who felt it! My husband had that look on his face when I showed him the test. He didn’t jump around with joy or even smile; he just looked at me with an expression of confusion and worry that settled somewhere closer to acceptance. You would have thought we were two fifteen year olds still in high school with no life achievements. But what mattered most wasn’t our initial reaction. What mattered was the journey we were embarking on together as husband and wife. The excitement hit us quickly enough, along with the extreme nausea and vomiting that plagued me for months.

My husband always wanted a beautiful baby girl. That was his desire from the start. I don’t have to explain how happy he was when the ultrasound tech told us what we were having. We decided to have a nice small and intimate reveal party, just for the grandparents. We got the idea to get cute pink build-a-bears to give to the prospective grandmothers and we revealed our daughter’s name along with the due date. It was exciting and wonderful.

But life always has a drop waiting around the corner. It never fails: impending doom lurks, waiting for its next victim. It wouldn’t be a journey if it didn’t have obstacles. So that is what I first thought when my OB/GYN called me to come to the office exactly one week after the reveal party. But I could have never prepared myself for the words “positive for Down syndrome.” I kept thinking, how could this be? My husband and I were both still in our twenties and healthy, with no family history of anything more than diabetes. This couldn’t happen to us! I stared at my husband, and he had the look of suffocation, as if the room had been stripped of oxygen. We rushed home to do research, to ease our minds into believing that the prenatal test was inaccurate or wrong. We even grasped at the straw of someone in a lab mixing my blood with someone else’s. Our parents reassured us that it was a faulty test, it happened all the time in the eighties and early nineties. My husband held fast to thoughts of positivity, but I ventured into the realm of realism very early because I knew that life always gives you something that you perceive to be unfair and unbearable. That drop was unbearable.

The twist and turns came in the next few months with the fantastic ultrasound test that showed no signs of Down syndrome at all on our little one. But of course, me being the president of the realm of realistic notions, I couldn’t allow myself to be too relieved. But could anyone really blame me? I mean if my child was to be born with Down syndrome, wouldn’t I, as her mother, need to be there for her? If the doctor pulled her from my womb and the true visualization of her features set in, and she bore obvious signs of that extra chromosome, I would still reach for my child and hold her tighter than a mother bear.

My husband and parents could step out of the room and regain their composures, while going through the stages of grief all the way to acceptance and unconditional love. But me, being momma, I needed to go through that ahead of time, so when my baby girl was handed to me the only thing she would feel was my undying and unwavering love for her.

I did the only thing I could do: I prayed. Not to take away any disabilities or deformities. How could I? How could I be so presumptuous to ask God to make my life any easier than the next person’s? No one has it easy. No, instead I prayed for a healthy beautiful baby girl. And I spent hours telling God “thank you.” I was grateful that I could conceive, and that I had a great husband who also would love our daughter unconditionally. I was thankful for the roof over my head and the qualities that my loving parents instilled in me, because during my pregnancy there was barely a week that went by without hearing about a woman killing or abandoning the baby she didn’t want. I was thankful to have compassion and natural human affection. I spent hours crying and speaking my peace with God, knowing that no matter how different she might be, my daughter was a direct gift from Him and I knew that I only wanted what was best for my child, which is to be better than me. That is what all parents truly want.

When the delivery was over, so was that ride of loops and drops. Because when they handed me my little girl all I saw were her perfections, no flaws. And my husband thanked me for bringing our child into the world. Even now, two years later he still thanks me, and I still thank God because he answered my prayers.

This entire ordeal taught me many lessons about life and our ability to make it harder than it needs to be. Sometimes we ourselves are the disasters we try so hard to avoid. It’s our thinking and our mindset that end up getting the best of us and turning something that can be conquered into a mountain of pain. I learned that you don’t have to be a saint to put trust in a higher power to guide you. I could have allowed the fear of the unknown to destroy me, to cause me to become so paralyzed that I lost my ability to avert a disaster. We all have that ability, regardless of what life sends our way. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but also what we perceive as a catastrophe is ultimately left up to our own interpretations.  

Now I am on a new rollercoaster ride. New twists, turns, and drops, each one filled with thoughts of fear and despair. But this ride is called motherhood. Every day I am forced to reset my thinking and my viewpoint on things. I remind myself that it is my choice as to whether something is a mountain or a molehill. Do I choose to wallow in negative thoughts of impending doom or do I look for the way out of the tunnel, the light that is always at the end? Because when I look at my life over the past couple of years, every disaster that has come my way has made my family and me stronger and more versatile. And every blessing that has come our way is received with gratitude and graciousness.

Do I see everything through rose colored glasses now? Not in the least. I was and will always be a realist. Seeing life for what it is will constantly require an endless readjusting of our minds. The truth is, we never truly stop riding the rollercoaster. We can only hope to learn how to enjoy it as much as possible. If we don’t, we are doomed to see every event as something to cower in front of. You don’t get to know when it is coming, and you don’t get to know what it will be, but you do get to choose how it will affect your life: mountain or molehill? I choose to see the twists and turns of my pregnancy as the blessing they always have been. My daughter has no real health issues or problems, no heart defects and no developmental delays. She is healthy and beautiful, with a smile that will bring the world to its knees. All that I truly wanted was for my baby girl to be healthy and smart. She is beyond everything I could have dreamed possible. When I look into her eyes, I am aware that she may have difficult days ahead, but she will have many happy ones, and on her worst day she is still better than I am.

There was once a time when we enjoyed mutual love and respect. We had started to relate to one another. That was when everything looked different and cozy across the land. Even if some inappropriate and disturbing voices were occasionally heard, almost every segment of society was experiencing the excitement of spring and was having long summer dreams.

Almost all of us were embracing each other with the joy of rediscovering our golden memories and reclaiming who we once were. We were singing songs of love with the enthusiasm of learning about one another. Colorful images of a world of brotherly and sisterly love were in our ever-deepening aspirations and dreams. It was a time of friendliness, profound compassion, and universal mercy. We marched towards days in which feelings of grudge and hatred would and could not survive. We felt that our hopes and expectations had come fully alive inside of us; everything was opening to us with a magic that enveloped our whole being. We embraced the love, respect, and tolerance that were once woven into our lives, and called upon on our golden ages, which we called the prosperous “days of God.” We were filled with enthusiasm and hope as we constantly strove to become who we once used to be and moved forward to love the feeling of love, to hate the feeling of hate, and to resist the feeling of hostility in our hearts.

We needed to graft youth onto our aging spirits – to color our faded feelings with the vividness of our faith and to mark the hours with the magic of time that we still believed to be alive. We needed to release the hands of the clock, which had long been tied to a rusty spring! These were the intentions; whether these things were fully done is quite a different matter.

In our recent past we were engaged in a nationwide “dialogue,” and we felt like the season was moving towards spring; we were overjoyed with our blossoming hopes, and we lived constantly with the dreams that almost all segments of society would embrace this refined, delicate, and soft atmosphere. We evaluated every step forward as a sign of the dawn of days of love, and we were excited to be soaring towards the horizon of our dreams as if we were preparing for “a night of union with the beloved.” We were so excited that we felt our hearts could rip apart out of joy; we hoped the hours and days we had lost in the past would be returned to us.

If only we could have continued on this course! Actually, there was no apparent reason not to. However, in truth we have remained very, very much behind our hopes and dreams in this matter. We considered everything from the perspective of optimism, tolerance, and good opinion – it was beyond our imagination that enmity, hatred, rage, anger, fanaticism, and bigotry would still wait in ambush. We could perhaps be excused, because we thought that these cursed thoughts had completely died and no longer existed among the enlightened people of a civilized world. We thought that in a time when goodness, beauty, virtue, and universal values had been resurrected one after the other, these buried ideas would not come back to life again. If only we had not been mistaken! We valued respect and good opinion about others – sadly, we were mistaken.

All these bad feelings and evil obsessions, which we thought would not rise again, came back to life and reclaimed every realm like ghouls. Those overwhelmed with these obsessions were attacking everything with the delirium of a Qarmatian,[1] cutting everything and everybody with the logic of a Khawarij,[2] and assaulting everything with the attitude of an anarchist. They ran from one horror to another at the behest of enmity, hatred, rage, and anger; they destroyed the bridges to love and tolerance, ruined the roads, suppressed loving spirits, infused violence and rage into hearts beating with love, darkened the smiles on faces which are otherwise filled with compassion, and destroyed the points of cohesion among different circles and segments of society. They severed and tore into pieces the spirit of unity among them and scattered seeds of hostility among all the hearts they could reach.

Yes, first they shook the trust individuals felt for each other. They scattered seeds of negative thoughts and doubt among different segments of society. Then, with unimaginable slander and lies against representatives of tolerance, they twisted the most-sincere behavior and tied it to false goals and targets and set fire to all good works. They aroused suspicion regarding the most positive efforts, and they looked for different purposes in proposals that were made in the name of dialogue. They distorted and cut and pasted even the most beneficial words and statements into things that they aren’t. They displayed the most shameful examples of depredation.

Even if these satanic efforts did not have an impact on most of the people, they were sufficient to incite a marginal segment that has always been tied to violence, anger, enmity, and hatred. They rebelled and declared war on such concepts as “tolerance,” “love,” “accepting everyone as they are,” and “a world without war.” They shook the hope in hearts; destroyed the trust and confidence people had towards one another; and broke into pieces, scattered, and destroyed the basic principles tying different segments of the population together.

It is certain that they were not able to fool everyone, were not able to penetrate every bosom, were not able to arouse suspicion in every brain and were not able to seduce most people. However, their efforts to cut and sever, to divide and tear into pieces, and to smash everything were not completely unfruitful. Many people who had just recently escaped from the former days of conflict and who stood in their places unsteadily were again shaken, and all their feelings and thoughts regarding tolerance were turned upside-down. This meant that the efforts that had been put forward for years in the name of brotherhood, friendship, and dialogue were lost, and the roads leading to dialogue and peace that would be realized with efforts along this line were closed, even if temporarily.

In order not to feel in my spirit the sabotage of the many beautiful deeds and efforts that have been made to date and the destruction of the many positive developments, I turn the face of my dreams on another side and, escaping from reality, I try and suppress the palpitations of my heart. More accurately, at this moment I cannot think of anything else to do with the lethal dreams that have squeezed my heart, raised my blood pressure, and opened the way to illness. But however distant I try and remain from them, still the things that have happened sneak into my thoughts by any path and sometimes pierce my heart like a poisonous arrow. Even if I don’t want to, I moan and writhe with this egregious awareness that flows into my mind, and who knows how many times a day I wail, “O God, show us the way out and to relief.”

Sometimes I am frightened by the prospect that the webs of love among different segments of the society will be torn. Sometimes I shudder at the disturbing roars that suppress calls for tolerance and dialogue. I think of the misfortune that feelings of friendship and brotherhood are groaning under the lethal blows of enmity and hatred, and I recoil. Sometimes I remain frozen in my place without thinking anything.

Every time I think of the now-faded colors of those open and warm days of brotherhood and friendship—their vividness now faded in hearts and their horizons now darkened—I seem to be witnessing the face of someone walking towards death or the state of a building that has decayed and will soon be demolished. In my helplessness, I just react by moaning and trying to cool down my heart. When a feeling, a thought, an understanding, and a philosophy has been targeted so cruelly, how can it survive and continue to fulfill its goal? Those who observe the events with some common sense can pass a judgment on this.

The claims were groundless, the assault was merciless, the commotion was frightening, the campaign was planned, the conspiracy was satanic, and the targets of all these activities were friendship, brotherhood, and love. It was another invasion, and values were destroyed. Regardless of how sensibly the people acted, something broke off from their hearts, and the trust people had for one another was shaken to a great extent. After this terrifying noise and commotion, people would not be able to love one another as before, trust one another, come together comfortably; or, if they did come together, they would not be able to embrace one another as sincerely as before. Gatherings would no longer witness an exchange of smiles, people would not be able to shake hands in heartfelt ways, hearts would not be able to beat with compassion, and those days of warmth would fall in defeat to a strange February cold. This means that the door of each heart would not be open to everyone with the same warmth, eyes would become stingy with smiles, and lips would not murmur love.

It was as if the dreams for the future were finished, fantasies of unison and togetherness were destroyed, the lights of hope in hearts were extinguished, and breaths whispering safety were stopped. May God not show this strange silence again. Everything seemed to have surrendered to an anxiety-laden hush… These chilling pictures pass before my eyes several times a day, and I am being bent over and moan about the beautiful things that had been gained but are now labeled contemptible—things such as the love that had been broken into pieces and scattered right and left, human relationships, tolerance, dialogue, and understanding one another. I am moaning about the sabotage of the successes that had been achieved through very serious efforts; the ripping and tearing of that atmosphere of love; conflict among different segments of society flaring up again; enmity and hatred coming and dominating the scene; love, mercy, compassion, and hope for the future being driven away from door after door; and hostility once again rising up. I imagine myself writhing with pain and shudder at the tombstone of many beautiful things that have been killed.

However, in spite of this much evil and betrayal to what was once achieved, there are indications that those beautiful days will return and will be given back. It is like a building, half of which has been blown off or like an incomplete verse of poetry; yet there are so many lights on the roads we walk that inspire us with determination to restart construction or to excite the pen one more time. Every piece remaining from the world of hope that was destroyed and thrown aside seems to say, “Rely on God, hold onto hard work, submit to the divine wisdom / If there is a road, it is this; I know of no other way out” (Akif). Actually, the current situation is like a broken dream. This upsets me a lot, and I resent the things that are being done. However, since the path we follow is the path of the people, regardless of what we are subjected to, we are determined to meet everything that happens to us with patience and acceptance. As we envision in our soul the happy tomorrows of our society, we will reform our yearning and sadness with the joy of living for others; we will try to give this journey its due.

Some bigoted ideas have reduced our road to a rough trail; still, as long as there exists greenery swaying all around us, we will continue to love everyone. Indeed, we will continue this love, for there are friends on the road who trigger in our hearts the excitement to move forward; people who are open to dialogue with their most humane feelings and who continue to shake hands, embrace, and throw smiles around; consciences that recognize sin; spirits that regret mistakes; and minds that want to build the future on common sense and reason. We will once again gather together the damaged systems of our spirits, and, saying “one more time,” we will continue to love everyone.

Those feelings and thoughts, wilted by artificial dirges heard from almost all sides, will be reinvigorated when the season comes, and the music of spring will be once again heard everywhere.

In view of this much ruination, destruction, and fall—and urged by what my faith necessitates me to do—I have tried to voice a cry of persecution and inspire a feeling of determination and revival. I nurture the hope that my expectations will each be considered a prayer offered to the One, the Provider of needs.

Notes

[1] Qarmatians were a rebellious group that emerged in the tenth century from a group of Ismaili Shiites. They went as far as to desecrate the holy cities of Mecca and Medina, killed thousands of pilgrim Muslims, and shook the Abbasid regime. They mustered some strength and ruled over some of the Middle East until the mid-eleventh century, when they were forced to surrender.

[2] Having adopted an extremist doctrine in the first century of Islam, Khawarijs assassinated Ali, the fourth Caliph, and violently terrorized the stability of the Islamic state.

Masses who have developed with different thoughts and objectives that are in conflict, and who have been deprived of positive cultivation, they form a society wherein passion, animosity, and hatred run rampant. Such a society promises nothing in the way of goodness and decency.

The harmony in this resplendent book of the universe continues with the mutual support of all things, living and non-living, and their coming together to form a cohesive whole. Every kind of destruction and devastation transpires due to the collision of opposing currents. Such destruction is proportionate to the intensity of the clash.

Human societies are united under the same feelings, thoughts, and visions. They reach spiritual perfection with the same edification and all have a promising future.

As for those masses who have developed with different thoughts and objectives that are in conflict, and who have been deprived of positive cultivation, they form a society wherein passion, animosity, and hatred run rampant. Such a society promises nothing in the way of goodness and decency. In such a tumultuous society, the odds of an individual finding his or her true purpose and attaining serenity are unlikely – and perhaps even impossible. This is especially true when that society’s chief institutions are at the epicenter of the upheaval. When this happens, the society has become completely disordered. As a result, chaos and confusion reign.

However, the regularity of human societies, as with the order and harmony in the universe, is necessary and indispensible, both so that humanity can conform to nature’s universal harmony and so that humans do not contradict their own innate disposition. Every movement that does not adhere to the general symphony present in the book of the universe is a debacle, and the populace that falls prey to this erroneous movement is very unfortunate.

As such, in a population where successive oppressions and counter aggressions in the name of reprisal form a vicious cycle, the turmoil and mayhem resulting from disputes, uncertainties, and above all, deficiencies of the heart and soul, will engulf its surroundings like a terrifying tornado. In the ensuing terror, none will have the security to consider and examine the events or the reasons behind them. And of course, in the meantime, with collisions taking place one after another, the nation-tree will be shaken over and over again; homes will be intermittently destroyed, and individuals left stupefied. If only those rushing to society’s rescue in the sphere of belief and thought possessed a sense of order, faith in renewal, the power of persuasion, and sincerity and earnestness. Alas! Not in the least!

Virtually none of them has embarked upon this task with a clear worldview, an initial plan and system, or any anxiety over their destiny. Perhaps, with respect to the majority, even those who first sensed and recoiled in the face of such danger, especially the sensitive and exceptionally spiteful, were so unrefined in spirit that they said “yes” to every kind of tyranny, attack, and domination for the sake of satiating their carnal selves…

How sad it is that in this struggle, which defies all reason and comprehension – or more precisely, in this uproar – those most wronged and perpetually subjected to tumult have been the innocent multitudes. These naive masses, united by their centuries old cultural and historical values, have been unable to determine quite where they have come from and where they are going. They have been dragged into error after error, unaware of whose account they were acting. They have been corrupted and afflicted even more as their intellectuals have been denying their past and all they ought to take pride in, who could have otherwise served as a beacon of light and direction. When, eventually, the seeds scattered on our soil with countless ill intentions sprang up and developed, all segments of society formed into “enemy-camps” ready for conflict.

The masses have become such an ill-fated and uninhibited horde-who excuse everything as permissible, obliterate in one stroke all that is sacred, and ridicule all their values-that an individual falling into their clutches is but a vagrant, not bound by any limitations. And, as such, the national spirit worn away for centuries by internal erosion, and paralyzed in these ill-omened hands, has become completely bedridden.

If only the behavior of those wanting to protect their spirit in the face of such destructive movements were heartfelt, valiant, compassionate, and constructive… Alas! They too, could not establish the expected balance and provide the people with a sense of security…

On the contrary, by responding to excessiveness with excessiveness, they sacrificed myriad magnificent, righteous, and beneficial things. In this chaos, truth was slaughtered innumerable times; on top of that, those who slaughtered it did so for another presumed truth. How many times the masses were fooled and the multitudes were set against each other with wrong being shown as right and right being shown as wrong! Time and time again, after the battles erupting between enemy camps exhausted both groups, rifts had already formed that were difficult to heal.

Indeed, in this collective chaos, however harmful and destructive this ravenous “miscreant-spirit” has been, those naive immature spirits unable to rest their defense on a sensible system and who return “hate” for hate and “anger” for anger, have been just as detrimental. And thus, on one side are those miserable creatures who have rejected all their human values, have denied their past and their source of pride, and through an ever-increasing estrangement, have completely altered their nature-those irreverent, unloving, rootless, disbelieving slaves of their desires. And on the other side, up against these wretched creatures, are only those simpletons, deprived of the fighting spirit and ideal, who respond with anger, coercion, and brute force… For years on end, people grappled with the waves emerging from these opposing currents, resisted all these eddies, were assaulted again and again, and were repeatedly abandoned to hopelessness…

At this time, we await a community of devotees, who will “neutralize” these damaging currents. They will be respectful of the truth, hold the sake and pleasure of God over everything else, possess reason and conscience, have enlightened minds, radiant hearts, and souls that take flight in the realms high above. They will be reverent towards all the universal values we inherited from our forebears, to traditions and customs, to art and culture, and to morality and sound upbringing. This cadre would not overturn the spiritual roots and historical values that have held us on our feet for centuries. On the contrary, they would revive these in the face of changing world conditions; and, viewing each of these as a part of the national structure, would take complete ownership of them.

At a time when our sense of identity faces annihilation, this group of blessed ones-the possessors of this “sense of sacred suffering” who take upon themselves the task of its rescue-will applaud goodness and neutralize evil. They will do so by thwarting the internal decay and discord that has gnawed away at society for years on end, by ensuring a road for peace, and by removing the archaic methods, damaging fanaticisms, and monopolist designs used by both groups and which have crippled our society.

Today, when society’s ailments have reached their peak, when real enmity and our enemies have clearly emerged, and when the dialogue we have with the world to which we are connected gains strength with every passing day, we are exceedingly hopeful for humankind and hold the belief that we will rise once again.

He is the one who knows the sorrows of broken hearts, who alleviates incurable troubles, and who eliminates the loneliness and depression in our souls with breezes from His realm. Those who turn to Him turn to an opened door; those who supplicate to Him have realized the very purpose of existence.

Those who recognize Him through His works, those who truly know and feel Him through their consciences, need to learn nothing else. In the minds of those who attain knowledge of Him, pieces of that knowledge become crystal domes over diamond pillars. For the souls who do not recognize Him, knowledge is apprehension and all existence we explore with science becomes nothing more than a collection of lifeless bodies.

In the radiant climate of belief, all creation becomes clear as water, from beginning to end; thoughts and events become distilled and everything flows to Him. Those who turn and implore Him with such pure feelings and thoughts are the most fortunate among us.

Given this, wherever we are in the world, whatever the time of day, whenever we feel lonely, let us turn to Him with our whole being, open the doors of our heart to Him, and one by one, confide in Him our sufferings, pains, desires, and wishes, great or small. Then we will feel our pain alleviated, our suffering replaced with contentment, and our souls will be enveloped by the breezes of Divine favors.

Those who confine themselves within the material world will likely never feel Him. Still, with thousands of signs for those who see, He will make His presence felt in our consciences, that He is not distant, and make our hearts smile.

Nights are openings to such inspirations. The souls awakened to the truth, who turn their hearts into bright mirrors shining with Divine epiphanies, wait for blessings to pour on their prayer rugs. We, too, can watch for the surprise blessings of the night, even when we are alone. Such moments can be our time of reunion, when we can stand in His presence and open up the secrets of our heart to Him. Only share your troubles with Him, moan in His presence, and bring your head to prostration, which is the first threshold on the path leading to Him, and wait! Then you will feel doors opening to your heart, one after the other. You will melt under the lights of His being; your respective presence will vanish like a drop falling into the ocean, and in a zone beyond considerations, you will become one being united with the gigantic waves.

The deeper you allow yourself to fall into Him, the deeper the realms that will open to you, and the higher the peaks you will scale. If you set sail to these inner depths with full conviction, you’ll think you’ve skirted the eternity of Paradise, the pristine atmosphere of the realms beyond. With every new step, you will see a different favor of being closer to God.

The souls who see nothing but the material reality and fail to attain the many levels of greatness, magnificence, and inner depth will continue to stagger in darkness, never managing to break free of deprivations and depression.

If only they, too, could feel the depths within their soul, as deep as clear skies and as vast as the universe. If only they, too, could discover the light inside them, and use that light to illuminate the secrets of our Creator’s realms.

Some fail to find these radiant ways which exist as a seed inside them and lead a life unaware of this lofty truth. They fail to blossom and are trapped in physical longevities instead of discovering roads to eternity. I do not know if we should feel pity for them or pray that their eyes open to truth.