Now I am going to ask you a “Fill in the Blank” question. There are political, economic, cultural, oppressive, feminist-based, family guidance-based, place of birth-based, religious, sociological reasons why woman… (Fill in the blank with: Cover or not cover their hair)

To understand the issue of head covering it is important to realize not all women choose to cover or not cover based on the same reasons. For example a woman may cover simply because she was born in a village in Sivas, Turkey, and this may come naturally. She will see it as something people in her family have been doing for hundreds of years, and might not even give a second thought to the practice. A woman born in Utah, USA may not cover because she has never seen anyone doing it in her family and might not even think about it. Both of these women are not consciously given decisions. They are just the way they are.

Another example may be that a woman in Pakistan, going to a more religious school, may cover not to stand out because she is afraid of peer pressure. And a woman in England going to a liberal school may be afraid of covering because she will stand out and be subjected to a different form of peer pressure.

In different sects of Christianity, Judaism, or Sikhism women may choose to cover their hair. Similarly, they may choose to shave their head if they are practicing Buddhism. Some Muslim women may cover, and others may not. So as you see, the argument about to cover or not to cover is really endless, and as far as I am concerned, is a time consuming debate which could go both ways depending on who is arguing it, and why they are arguing it. Arguments will usually take people nowhere because people going into the argument already have a predetermined opinion. During an argument, the only thing they are focusing on is defeating their opponent. So they are constantly thinking of coming up with new ways to prove why “they are right”, and even if they have not been able to convince their opponent by the end of the argument, they have convinced themselves even further by finding 100 more reasons on why “they are right.” So no, I am not here to offer you my argument on the topic. But instead I am here to share. I will share why I choose to cover and what I feel when I cover, realizing this is utterly personal. I am not speaking on behalf of all Muslim women, nor am I speaking on behalf of what is the right thing to do. I am speaking on behalf of my experience with the Muslim veil; so I can grow, and perhaps you can grow, and by the end perhaps we might be a little more inspired compared to our starting point before this article.

I come from an international family, so I was not raised Muslim. I embraced Islam at the age of 22, only a couple of years ago. My encounter with Islam didn’t come from my family or friends, but it was rather personal. I see it as something that was meant to be and so it happened.

In the days when I used to do makeup and my hair, I would say I could bring some attention to myself; yet no matter how much I dressed up, there was always a woman more beautiful than me in my immediate surroundings. Before submitting to Islam, I did try to compete and shine and draw attention, and I really think that was necessary for me to understand the meaning behind veiling.

It happened very suddenly. I was a student, doing my bachelor’s in the USA. I didn’t really think about it, nor did I really weigh the consequences. One night, I was turning in my bed, from left to right, right to left, unable to sleep and the next day I went out of the house with a black scarf on my head combined with a Victoria’s Secret hoodie and loose jeans, to meet my friend. I texted my friend before meeting her; my text said: “Hey, so I don’t want to shock you, but I am coming to meet you with a Muslim head scarf.” So that is how my story started. But I am not writing to tell you my story; I want to write about the state of worship I feel after I covered.

There is no doubt that female beauty was created by God in such a manner that it almost screams out the beauty of the Divine. And yet, just as many ideologies such as Feminism have pointed out, female beauty and sexuality has been turned into a matter of pure arrogance between woman, dictated by an industry run by men, whose only desire is to make money out of it. To use it and abuse it. Unfortunately, something so Divine, has been turned into something so shallow. They have used it to sell their products and they have used it to control power. And I had bought their story: this is how I know the amount of damage it can cause to a woman. Because it also damaged me. A lot.

I was created fairly beautiful, but instead of being thankful for it, I always competed with it. Sexuality and beauty had turned into things I would compete for, things that I would look at jealously in other women, and realize other women envied in me. It was a cruel competition, when women’s magazines constantly bombarded me beauty products, fashion, surgical and non surgical ways to beautify myself so that I could hold my man’s eyes upon myself. Things I needed to do so he wouldn’t cheat on me. Then I would turn the page, simply turn one thin layer of paper to come across an article about self confidence and the keys to feel beautiful and sexy the way you are. Between two millimeters of thickness lay two incredibly huge concepts that women have been enslaved to. We’ve produced this race that nobody will ever win; and that is the exact point of producing it in the first place. Feeding our ego that makes us feel so good when we declare our beauty to the world, and betrays us when something better comes along.

My aim with my veil is to internalize the philosophy of Rumi, who said, “Die before you die.” I tell myself: “It’s ok, there is no race, step aside. Be humble. Keep your beauty within. Liberate yourself from things that don’t matter. Be afraid that one of your sisters may feel pain in her heart because she feels less because of your beauty. Understand that the most precious creation in this Universe is a human heart. Be sensitive toward the women who have lost their families because of the cruel sexuality games. Be sensitive to those who are going through the pain of anorexia. Care for the ones who are depressed because of their weight. Care for the women who have been used and abused by rich business man only to be thrown away like a piece of garbage and who are feeling lost and empty inside. Don’t judge the women who don’t cover. Don’t judge women who have sexual relationships in return for money. Don’t judge anorexic women trying to models. But instead, care for them. Be sensitive to their feelings, to their inner battles. Step aside from the silent completion that is going on between them, hide your sexuality and let women who are in the competition feel safe in your presence. Be their shelter. Allow her to look at you and know that you are out of the game. Try to give her a moment of peace while she is with you because only God knows the struggles she is going through. Suppress your ego. Know that your value does not depend on how you look but depends on your spirituality. Take every part of ego in your heart and crush it. Crush your desire to be superior to other human beings, in every single aspect. Internalize it in every possible aspect of your life, including spirituality, physical beauty, success, fame or money. Love them, care for them, nourish them. So before going out from your house, first wear your veil over your heart that will protect it from the evil in the world, then complete it with your physical veil. Be at peace. Smile like the Virgin Mary…”

And quite surprisingly, when I was in the Western world, the moment I tried smiling like Mary, I would encounter people acting like Jesus. I am in no means saying veiling is the only way to accomplish this, but I am saying that veiling, together with other practices, has led me to this path and I am very thankful for it. Veiling has become a means of healing for my heart. And for the first time in my life, I felt satisfied with how I looked, which led to self confidence and internal peace. No matter what I say, I can’t express myself better than Rumi did, so I will finish with a quote from him:

“With God two ‘I’s cannot form. You say ‘I’ and he says ‘I’. Either you die before him, or let him die before you, then duality would not remain. But it is impossible for him to die, either subjectively or objectively, since he is the ever living God, the undying. He possesses such gentleness, that if it was possible, He would die before you so that duality may vanish. But since it is impossible for him to die, you die, so He may manifest himself to you and duality may vanish.”

The phrase “delusion of immortality” means people think they are eternal and immortal. Such people are obsessed with the world, as if they will never die; they live just for the sake of living, without meaning, they are concerned of the present time only. They are consoled by worldly pleasures, and they do not give importance to the past or future.

Sometimes, this delusion develops so gravely that it completely takes individuals under its influence, to the extent that they become more concerned with things that are not within their control. They put aside their own lives-for they think as if they are immortal-and become fixated, for instance on the fear of a Doomsday that will destroy the universe even if it is to take place two or three thousand years later; they feel anxiety exclusively for that. All of this stems from the delusion of immortality. For such people do not think of their own death, but are busy with the death of the universe over which they have no power.

I cannot say this for everyone, but if we look around we see that many people think they are immortal, even if they spent their youth in worship and seclusion. There are times when they have said, “I can move mountains or crush what I hold in my hands,” or it is likely that they can say such things in certain times in their lives. During these times people live the delusion of immortality. This delusion is more likely to take place particularly when a person is healthy and young; certainly there are exceptions, but many young people never think that they will grow older and die. They never think that they will leave everything behind and go to some other world. They never calculate that their wealth and assets will fleet away.

The antidote to be applied to this feeling that will remove the heedlessness in a person is “mental activity.” In other words, it is necessary to engage in an effort to raise the veil with objective and subjective contemplation through meditation into the external world, as well as into one’s inner world, in order to try and glimpse the truth. As a matter of fact, it is very important to raise the veil and to see the truth before the day comes when God raises the veil Himself, perhaps in a rather bitter way. In the Qur’an, God says, “We have removed from you your veil, so your sight is today sharp” (50:22). In other words, We will open pull the veil from your eyes and on that day you will see your destination, the place where you will account for your life and witness the judgment of God, the Universal Guardian and All-Watchful.

Yes, that day will inevitably come. Before that day comes, it is very important to rend that veil with carefulness and contemplation, and to reach the horizon of seeing and feeling Heaven and Hell now and in this world. But because human being is forgetful, when people become a little remote from contemplation they immediately suffer the delusion that they are going to live forever.

Let us clarify the topic a little more with an example: Assume that one of us enters a palace. Everything has been prepared there according to the desires and appetites of our ego. When I say “everything,” I mean everything from banquets to things that will satisfy human carnal desires. However, we understand with certain signs that all of these are forbidden. Consequently, this means that we are not allowed to touch the banquet tables, we cannot come close to the forbidden zone of those who are not permissible to us, and we cannot eat the “forbidden fruit.” For, as stated before, there is a “forbidden” sign on all of them. Sometimes, when faced with such a situation, some people can be defeated by their carnal self. The food can whet their appetites, those attractive things can lure them to turn their eyes on them, and their feelings of lust can push them to do evil things. At that moment they can be tempted to extend their hands to touch those fruits.

If just as they are fully in the total grip of their desires, a curtain suddenly opened and Hell with all its terror and Paradise with all its magnificence appeared before them, then they would neither extend their hands to the forbidden food nor take a step towards sin.

In this respect we can say that what lead people to evil are heedlessness, diving into the world as if they will never die (tul al-amal), and the inability to see the truth. I think that it is this matter that enabled the Companions of the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, to avoid sin. If by means of a mental activity we could imagine the existence of Heaven and Hell with the certainty that two times two equals four, then we could put a brake on our ego, not enter into evil deeds, always see the next life and live in a measured way. When we are without such an activity, we will be buried under the veil of forgetfulness. Even if we believe in God, we will often be defeated by our feelings and we will do evil under the delusion of immortality. We will commit ourselves to nothing else but enjoying this world to the fullest.

Another way of overcoming the delusion of immortality is meditation on death (rabita al-mawt). For thinking about death is an important method that takes us to the view that this world is transient, destroying the delusion of eternalness. However, at this moment, when we look around, we see that fire only burns what it touches. Only those in whose homes someone dies remember death, and this important topic does not interest anyone else. Whereas, our Prophet reminds us that remembering death and visiting graveyards for this purpose is helpful.

Although visiting graveyards was initially forbidden in Islam, later the Prophet persistently emphasized this. For graves and headstones remind some less vigilant hearts of the next life by association. But it seems to me that our hearts are as if dead due to heedlessness.

Today, I think that only those who have had a close one die even partially remembers death and are able to lessen the delusion of immortality and wake up a little. I recommend to friends that they visit hospitals to keep death in mind. Let them go and visit various clinics and see the situation of those who have lost their health and are waiting for death. It is probable that such a view will remind them that they are each a traveler, and it will trigger their desire to make preparations.

As a result, the delusion of immortality sometimes derives from heedlessness, which in turn stems from a lack of contemplation. Meditation on death is an important method for puncturing this; the other is to observe hospitals and the condition of sick people. Yes, whenever a person is tested by illness or accident or on the subjects of property, life or children, then this delusion is deflated.

In short, we have to destroy this delusion by whatever means it takes. Otherwise, it will strangle us and we will not be able to rise to the level of true humanity. We will not be able to find a suitable atmosphere that will facilitate our ties with our Lord’s mercy. We have to keep two activities always alive: contemplation and meditation on death.

Hostility to Islam and Muslims was an integral part of most of the travellers’ mental makeup. David Roberts, a painter of the idealized landscapes of classical ruins, expresses his frustration in a dislike and hatred of Arabs whose forms litter the otherwise perfect scene: ‘Splendid cities, once teeming with a busy population and embellished …with temples, now deserted and lonely, or reduced by mismanagement and the barbarism of the Muslim creed to a state as savage as wild animals by which they are surrounded. Often have I gazed on them till my heart actually sickened within me.’1

As ‘the idea of travel as a means of gathering and recording information is commonly found in societies that exercise a high degree of political power, the traveler begins his journey with the strength of a nation or an empire sustaining him (albeit from a distance) militarily, economically, intellectually and, as is often the case, spiritually…’2

In 19th century travel accounts, the more routine designation of the Orient is feminine; its main symbols are sensual women, the harem, and the despotic -but curiously attractive- ruler. Moreover, Oriental women, like Victorian housewives, were confined to silence and to unlimited service. The English woman traveller, Miss Irby, who travelled throughout the Ottoman regions, defines the proper place of the oriental women:

‘To the Musulman, a woman was an inferior being, a chattel, to be bought and sold, kept secluded behind the screens of the women’s quarters, or, if produced in public, to be hidden behind the draperies of the litter, or muffled and secreted in long shapeless robes, face covered by the veil; the property of the man as was his dog, his servant, his horse, to wait on his pleasure, to sleep at his feet; yet withal, if the husband be rich, to be cossetted and adorned with jewels and fed with sweetmeats, to spend days in idleness and chatter.’3

In various 19th century Oriental books and tales like Vathek, the Giaour and Don Juan (especially Cantos 5-8) which are more or less fixated on the images of the Oriental harem, the figure of the veiled Eastern girl symbolising the colonial Other is created by a narrative structure in which a male subject’s attempts to liberate a female object from the tyranny of the harem is interrupted or arrested by a stereotypical patriarchal aggressor who prevents the achievement of narrative desire in the possession of the woman. In other words, the Orient is thus refigured as the harem fantasy of European imperialism that shows ‘the East’ as the obscure object of Western desire. The narrative structure of Vathek designates the Orient as a feminized place invaded by the masculine subject.

Reza Hammani and Martina Rieker criticize Ghoussoub’s Marxist approach which deprecates Islam as not good for women. However, they agree that Middle Eastern feminism is vitiated by its involvement in debates whose agenda was set in 19th century travel writing. They develop this idea further with the following explanation:

‘Two issues have dominated Western discourse about Middle Eastern women since the 19th century; the veil and the harem. The harem continues to be treated as a contemporary reality in popular mythology. Thus, Gloria Steiner cites freeing Saudi women from harems as one of her fantasies in her autobiography – we wish her luck in finding a harem in Saudi Arabia. Moreover, it is above all the veil which remains a central preoccupation… The veil is not always imposed; in many contemporary instances women have been instrumental in assuming it. This is not a matter of relativist interpretations but of power… In the case of women in Egypt since Sadat’s Open Door Policy, large numbers of working-class women have themselves mobilized to veil to signify their opposition to the regime.’4

Irene L. Szyliowicz remarks that historians and social scientists arc demonstrating that the traditional portrayal of women in these societies has been biased and based on Western judgements. European ethnocentrism and male chauvinism have combined to account for this phenomenon.5 As she thinks that French travel writer, Pierre Loti’s attitude toward Oriental women is particularly worth studying for several reasons, she points out in her Pierre Loti and the Oriental Woman (1988) that ‘since all the Oriental women essentially support and ratify their Occidental lovers, it is proper to conclude that Loti created these fictional characters as wish-fulfilment fantasies, to simultaneously reinforce and magnify his manhood.’6 When Loti made a speech titled ‘La Femme Turque’ (the Turkish Woman) before a large gathering of European women in the conference on ‘Feminine Life’, he concluded with a message: ‘Open the cages, open all the harems. Yet, don’t open them too quickly, for fear that the young, imprisoned birds should take a frantic flight before knowing properly where their inexperienced and fragile wings will take them.’7 According to Loti’s interpretation of Oriental women, which is quite similar to that of Byron, one might imagine that ‘they could be manipulated easily by their dominating masters, and further, this masculine paradigm presented these women, like their Occidental sisters as actually craving male domination.’8 Eventually, in the case of Oriental or exotic women created by Loti, the reader faces a different form; they are simple, primitive, dependent, often helpless, and they worship the hero as though he was God. ‘And despite the fact that he was still a product of his Occidental milieu and the prejudices with which he was raised, he prided himself on his objectivity toward various lands which he visited.’9

In sum, from the previously quoted remarks by 19th century travellers, it may be concluded that the most general point about travel literature (something also confirmed by Sir John Mandeville’s Travels) is that travel is undertaken for a great variety of purposes; the specific purpose involved in a given case is always, to a greater or lesser degree, determinant of what is noted or considered noteworthy. Consequently, the attention paid by the writer of a travel book is always ideological. A traveller usually comes from somewhere – from a country from a language community, class – and consciously writes the record of his journey for a particular public in the country he came from.10

Notes

1. As quoted in BALLANTINE, J. The Life of David Roberts, R.A. Compiled from his journals and other sources, Edinburgh, 1986, pp. 104-5.

2. KABBANI, R. Europe’s Myths of the Orient, Macmillan, London, 1986, p.1.

3. ANDERSON. D. Miss Irby and her Friends, Hutchinson, London, 1966, pp. 52-3.

4. HAMMANI, R. and RIEKER, M. ‘Feminst Orientalism and Orientalist Marxism’, New Left Review, 170, 1988, p. 93.

5. SZYLIOWICZ, I. L. Pierre Loti and the Oriental Woman, Macmillan, London, 1988, pp.1-3.

6. ibid.

7. ‘Et je dis avec eux, mais non sans inquietude: out ouvrez toutes les cages ouvrez tous les harems. Cependant ne les ouvrez pas trop vite, de peur que les jeunes piseaux prisonniers…’ P. Loti ‘La Femme Turque in Quelques aspect du vertige mondial, Ernest Flammarion, Paris, 1917, p. 182.

8. SZYLIOWICZ, p. 3.

9. ibid, p. 12.

10. PARKER, D. ‘Orientalism and its Problems’ in BOOLE, F. (ed.) The Politics of Theory, University of Essex, John Fletcher.